Vivianna came to sit next to me. She handed me a blanket, folded neatly and secured with a bow made from the flower stems. It was a patch quilt with an array of colors and designs. As I looked closer, I recognized some of the artwork.
“Your meme and I worked on this together, Lilly. We incorporated your mother’s artwork. There is a shirt your father wore as a child that our parents gave to us for this project.” She smiled at me and explained the rest as I listened and cried silently. There was a patch representing each member of my family with a beautifully stitched replica of the Levannah symbol, hands of all colors connected in the shape of a heart, symbolizing the love and unity that my grandparents stood for.
My heart was bursting with a million different emotions as I looked at this heartfelt gift. Through the haze of tears, I noticed a small blue square toward the top of the quilt. It was bland except for the words “daddy loves me.” The tears that had been blurring my eyes now came out rushing as I realized their attempt at keeping Shep in our lives.
I sobbed for a few moments as they all watched me. I finally composed myself enough to thank them. “I don’t know what to say. This is the most amazing gift I have ever received. It’s perfect for the baby.” I stood and hugged them all.
My meme hugged me tight before releasing me and saying, “There are a few things in the baby’s room that Leah left, but we can go up later. I do believe the men here have been waiting to hold this wonderful little person.” She paused as though thinking of something important. “Lilly, we have been so caught up in this wonderful little creature and all the gifts, you haven’t told us his name.” They all looked at me, waiting to hear what this child would be called.
“I named him James Michael, after my father and Shep’s father,” I informed them proudly. The grin that spread across all of their faces said they thought that name was perfect.
It didn't take long for my papa and Denali to overcome their fear of James. Soon they had both lost their manly composure and were speaking baby talk to him. Knowing James was in good hands, I graciously accepted when they offered to care for him while I rested. Feeling sore and exhausted, I sluggishly made my way up the stairs to my room.
I stopped at the nursery door and glanced inside. Remembering my meme saying Leah left things in the nursery, I walked in curious to see what she left. She had done so much already. On the wall was a beautiful painting of the Levannah house signed by my mother. She framed photos of baby James’ entire family. They were all there arranged neatly on the dresser, including my father, which surprised me. I had never seen the photo and wondered where she got it.
There were clothes hung neatly next to the ones I already had and stacks of baby blankets. James was truly the most spoiled baby in the world. I smiled to myself, grateful my child had such an amazing family. Feeling a pull at my lower belly, I left the nursery and collapsed on the bed.
The next several days were amazing. We spent time getting to know each other. My time in Neveah had been such a whirlwind that I hadn't really gotten to know my family. My meme was beyond the warm and caring person I already knew her to be and my papa and Denali shared the same dry sense of humor. There was no doubt they were father and son. My aunt Vivianna, I learned, had a magnificent singing voice. I loved listening to her sing Neveahian lullabies to James. The baby never had a reason to cry. All his wants and needs were addressed before he could whimper. I worried how I would manage without them.
My family stayed for a week, Earth time. James and I were sad to see them go. They had to return, though. The balance of Neveah was unstable, and they needed to be there. They hadn’t spoken of Neveah much, and not of Kelsha or Shep at all. I was thankful, but highly curious. I knew Kelsha was a terrible woman, evil to her core, but I didn’t think she posed an actual danger to Neveah. What little Leah told me, and my family’s need to return so soon, told me she was, in fact, a serious threat, and I again felt guilty for not being there.
I gathered enough courage to ask about the details of the danger in Neveah, at which I was told that although Kelsha was a concern, they were sure everything would be all right. When I asked about Shep, all they would say was that he is ‘alive and well.’ I knew they were downplaying the severity of the situation and also of Shep. I didn’t push, though, what right did I have? I chose to come home, and that was where I intended to stay. I had a baby to think of.
They assured me again that all would be right very soon, and they would come to visit again. Hugs and kisses were given all around, goodbyes were said and a few tears were shed before I was alone again. It was early in the day, and James was sleeping peacefully. I decided to call Michael. I hadn’t told him about James’ birth yet. With my own family here, I hadn’t thought to call him. Now was a good time.
The phone only rang a few times when his familiar voice came on the line, “Hello.”
I cleared my throat. “Hi, it’s Lilly. I am calling to let you know you are the grandfather of a healthy baby boy,” I exclaimed. There was a silence on the other end followed by what I thought was a small sob. It was a few seconds before he finally spoke.
“That’s wonderful, Lilly. How are you? Things went smoothly, I hope,” he said. I couldn’t give him details without revealing that Leah was there, so I lied, a little.
“There were a few complications and they had to do a C-section, but we are both home now and doing fine. We would love for you to visit,” I offered and hoped he would accept.
“Of course, I can be there tomorrow if that’s okay with you,” he replied and I was thrilled.
“Great, see you tomorrow,” I said and hung up the phone.
~Chapter Thirteen~
If Kelsha had been slightly mad before the birth and death of her child, she was completely mad now. She kept herself locked in her room day after day, allowing no visitors. She had mourned her child with tears so long that her eyes were incapable of shedding any more. Once the last tear fell, she swore she would never cry for him again. She lost what she had left of a sane mind when the last tear fell. Her pain was replaced with an inescapable rage and resentment. Her plans to rule Neveah would come to play much sooner than she had anticipated and her need to see Lilly suffer was overwhelming. She was craving war, and she would create a magnificent one.
When she finally emerged from her bed chamber turned sanctuary, she was greeted by an anxious and worried Shep. She was pleased to see the dam in his mind was holding up. He was so eager to follow her, being his only family that he would do anything she asked. He had already trained an army to fight for them, and they were a strong, capable army. The bit of mind control was very helpful as well, and she was truly grateful to the few Specials who followed her without being coerced or controlled.
Seeing Shep standing there, waiting for her to show herself finally, pushed a thought to the front of her mind. She had considered the idea very closely, but pushed it away thinking it too dangerous just yet. Seeing Shep there, loyalty mirrored in his eyes, seeing his need to make her happy, she knew he was capable. He rushed to her side. “Aunt Kelsha, are you feeling well enough to be out?” The burden he placed upon himself regarding her welfare was endearing. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly.
“I am better, Shep, but my heart has cracks that will never mend. I will always mourn my son, but I know a way for you to help heal my heart just a tiny bit more,” she whispered to him.
He released himself from her grip and looked at her dead in the eye. “I will do anything for you. Of course, you know that. Just tell me.” His words were sincere, yet urgent.
Shep was eager to heal his aunt. The Specials that followed her were becoming restless. She had been locked in her room for so long. They were beginning to doubt her ability to lead them. She needed to regain her composure and greet the Specials as the leader she had made herself. Shep also missed that spark in her eyes and knew Heren was aching for his wife and child.
Heren had, in a sense, lost his wife along with his chi
ld. Kelsha had barely spoken to Heren since the tragedy, let alone welcomed him in bed. He missed his child greatly, but he missed his wife nearly as much. He confided in Shep on a daily basis, making Shep well aware of the pain he carried in his heart. Shep wanted everyone to be happy again, whole. He was willing to do almost anything, if it made Kelsha whole again.
When she suggested he go to another world, one he had never heard of to steal a child for her, he thought she was really out of her mind. Shep had a feeling of unease the moment Kelsha told him of her plan. He had tried, in vain, to talk her out of it. She was convinced that this other woman’s child would make up for the loss of her own. Shep hated seeing her in pain, though, and soon relented. Kelsha told him only the barest details, assuring him the task would be simple. She didn’t elaborate on the girl’s identity or how she knew her, just that she had a baby she didn’t deserve and Kelsha wanted that baby.
“What if she tries to stop me?” Shep asked, worried about his new mission.
“She will never know you’re there. You sneak in, take the baby, and come home,” she said firmly. She was so sure of herself, so sure of Shep's ability to do this for her. She had no doubt he would bring her the child. He was so loyal. Finally, he shook his head yes and walked out of the room.
In the coming days, Shep prepared. Kelsha gave him directions to the portal and directions to the baby once he arrived on the other side. She educated him on the Ordinaries and firmly told him to keep his distance. He was shocked to learn of this other world. He knew there were other worlds beyond Neveah, but they were all similar to Neveah. The idea of a world without Specials was hard for Shep to envision.
He would need to watch the mysterious girl for a short while. He would need to learn about the girl's habits, so he would be able to find the right time to take the child without detection. Shep spent every waking moment with Kelsha, planning and learning. He fell into bed exhausted night after night, much to his wife’s dismay. He had no energy to please her. He carried guilt for causing his wife's unhappiness, but knew it would only be for a short time. Once he helped Kelsha, he would be free to resume his role as Fionna’s husband and all that the role entailed.
In the nights that followed his training days, Shep was being plagued by nightmares. The girl with the red hair was in all of them again. He was trying to reach her, trying to save her. He always came up short and woke in a pool of sweat with his heart hammering inside his chest. The girl made his skin prick and caused an anxiousness he couldn’t explain. He yearned for her as he never had for his own wife. He chastised himself for wanting someone who only existed in his mind, but the pull was immense. He couldn’t control the want. The night before his departure his dream was vivid and intense.
She was standing on a bluff above a fast moving river. Her hair hung loose and wavy. The sky was dark, but he could see her clearly. Every fiber in his body longed for her, and he hadn’t even seen her face. He prayed, begged, wished, did all he could think of to get her to look at him. He approached her slowly, timidly. Her voice was floating along the breeze and ringing in his ears. “Where are you? Why did you leave me? Come back to me! Save me! I love you!” She spoke the last three words over and over until they buried themselves deep inside his mind. “I love you, I love you.” She stood still, but this time when he went to her, she turned to face him.
Her face was breathtaking. Her eyes were reflections of a deep seeded pain, and they tore through Shep’s soul. There were tears streaming down her cheeks as she reached for him. She gently touched his fingers with her own, and the feeling jolted Shep like a shock of electricity. He was overcome by a need to touch her, to feel her, and he hastily pulled her to him. He held her close, inhaled her scent, kissed her skin while she repeated the words “I love you,” over and over until Shep felt the words and whispered back, “I love you too.” He made love to her in that dream, slowly, easily, until he could take no more. When his body began to shiver with pleasure, his mind drifted back to reality. He opened his eyes to find himself on top of his wife, her pretty little face smiling up at him and guilt washed over him. He continued to make love to her until she was happy, then rolled over to dream of the girl he never knew.
~Chapter Fourteen~
I was sad to see my family leave, but understood why they had to go. I felt a small twinge of guilt, knowing they were going to fight a war that I should be helping to fight. The guilt quickly dissipated when I looked at my precious boy. I knew I had done the right thing by having him on Earth. He was safer here, in our private little house above Newberg.
Mike came to visit the day after my family left. He stayed a few days and instantly fell in love with his grandson. When he wasn't smoking his pipe on the front porch, he had James snug in his arms. They were like two peas in a pod. I don't think there was a grandpa prouder than Mike. Maybe it was because he had lost so much, he cherished what he had. Maybe it was just that James was that magnetic. Lord knew I loved that boy nearly to the point of heartbreak.
Mike's work schedule only allowed a few days to visit, but I promised to bring James to see him soon. I had visitors with me since James was born. When Mike left I realized it was the first time I had been alone with my baby. I felt a tiny bit of fear creeping up. I worried I would mess something up, but was quick to squash those thoughts. I knew James and I would be just fine.
Over the next weeks and months, we settled into a routine of sorts. He was a mild mannered baby who rarely cried and slept through the night long before I expected him to. He proved all those parenting books wrong. All the things I was warned against—weird sleep schedules, colic, constipation, spitting up—he disproved all the warnings. I never went to bed without counting my blessings. I knew my baby was special and for that reason, I was highly protective of him.
James went with me everywhere. When I brought my art into town, he was strapped to my belly. When I needed to get out of the house, I strapped him into his car seat, and we would get lost in the country. When he was a few months old, I decided to call the gallery owner from Portland. It took several days for me to gather the courage to call. I was worried she would have forgotten me. When I finally did I was pleasantly surprised to find that not only did she remember me, she had been looking forward to hearing from me.
Over the next few weeks, we planned an art opening that would display my photography, drawings, and paintings. I brought James to every meeting with me. Even as an infant, he was a charmer. All the ladies adored him and spoiled him rotten. The boy never had to whimper for anything. I was more than pleased with the direction my life had taken. Though there were days I thought of Shep, even missed him, but the pain was dulling. What had really changed in me was that I was okay with the pain dulling. I no longer feared losing my need for him. I was independent. I was happy.
The day before my first opening I went shopping with James and bought both of us fancy new clothes to wear to the gala. I invited Mike and Eldon Androni. Unfortunately, they both had to turn my invitation down. Mike couldn't get out of work, but made me promise to send him lots of photos and call with details. Eldon was traveling and unable to make it back in time. It was just James and I and that was fine with me.
The opening was a hit. I sold a ton of art and made a large amount of money for myself and the gallery owner. She couldn't have been happier with the results and was already planning the next show before the night was over. I went home that night with a sense of contentment and pride.
I pulled into my driveway that night, exhausted and full of joy. I put James to bed. My little man had charmed the glamorous people at the gallery and was tuckered out. I poured myself into bed without even pausing to remove my gown. I just fell upon my bed and drifted into oblivion.
I woke the next morning, my contentment replaced by irritation. I dreamt of Shep. It had been a while since I had seen him in my dreams. He was usually out of reach, with me begging him to come closer. For the first time since I began dreaming of him, he came closer. He tou
ched me. He spoke to me. I woke with that hole in my heart feeling like a fresh wound again. I was irritated that he could still affect me so deeply.
I pushed Shep out of my mind, determined to continue feeling self-accomplishment, not the deep seeded hurt that had ruled my life for so long. I refused to let him affect me and tried to go about my day as though the dream had never happened.
~Chapter Fifteen~
Fionna was most displeased with Shep’s plan to kidnap a child for Kelsha. She had truly grown to love Shep and feared he would remember his feelings for Lilly. She knew he had been dreaming of Lilly. What would he do when he saw her in the flesh? She couldn't bring herself to tell anyone, Kelsha included, that Shep regularly called Lilly's name in his sleep. He woke every morning as though the dreams had never come, but Fionna knew differently. She tried to convince Kelsha that it was neither safe, nor wise to send Shep back the Ordinary World. Her words were not taken seriously, and she nearly told her of Shep's dreams, but in the end she couldn't. It was her own personal secret, the one tiny part of Shep only she knew. Kelsha assured Fionna that the dam around Shep’s memories was impenetrable, and Fionna hoped she was right. She hoped Shep's waking mind was stronger than his sleeping mind. Still, Fionna begged Shep to take her with him. “Please, Shep, take me with you. I could help,” she begged.
“Fionna, my love, I must do this alone,” was his answer.
“Why?”
“I don’t know what I might meet once I travel through this portal. I have to hide myself and watch this girl. I have to formulate the perfect execution and I can’t do that if I have to worry about you.”
“I am scared for you, baby,” she said, her eyes misty. She was scared, but it was for her own sake. She knew he was physically capable of taking care of himself and smart enough to get out of a bad situation, but could he resist the pull of his one true love?
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