“Fionna, don’t worry about me. I will be back before you have a chance to miss me,” he said, smiling at her. He pulled her close, kissed her on the top of her head and let her go. He was secretly glad to be leaving her for a while. The dreams of the strange girl shook him to the core, and he needed to figure out his feelings. He knew he couldn’t have the girl in his dreams, but he couldn’t dream of her while he made love to his wife. It was wrong and made him feel ill. He loved Fionna, but questioned just how much. This break would help give him some clarity. He left the next morning.
Shep was surprised by how comfortable he found himself in the other world. He arrived near dark, below an umbrella of trees. The woods were silent, telling him he was alone. He made camp that night, deciding to leave as soon as the sun rose. He was anxious to get to the child and return to Neveah. Time felt different on Earth, making Shep feel as though he was racing a clock. He slept well that night and was half way to the child by the next afternoon.
He managed to stay out of sight, traveling by foot through the forests. Kelsha had told him the general direction to go, and he had listened without ever questioning her knowledge. He followed his instinct as well and was standing outside a large white house near sunset. He felt an irresistible pull to the place, and that made him slightly uneasy. He watched the house from the surrounding forest, trying to make sense out of the situation. He knew he had been there before, but could not remember a time he had ever been outside of Neveah. He was flipping through the pages of his mind when he saw her.
It took all his strength to stand still so as to not be seen by her. It was her, the girl with the red hair, the girl who haunted his dreams. His mind was spinning as he watched her. She was more stunning than he dreamt. She pulled a child out of a truck and nuzzled it close to her bosom. Her skin glowed as she held the child. Shep knew at once that was the child he was to bring home to Kelsha. He could feel his brain being ripped in two, one forcing him toward this girl and her child and one telling him to get the baby and return to Neveah.
His need to be close to her was irrational, he knew. How could he be mad over a being he had never met? A creature Kelsha had warned him was dangerous. She didn’t look dangerous, Shep thought. She was fascinating. He so badly wanted to go to her, to touch her. His head began to pound. He had to get away from her, clear his head. He had to make sense of it all.
He found himself in the depth of the forest, his head splitting with pain. His heart shattered in a million pieces, and his stomach turned, causing him to vomit. He was furious with himself. What was he doing? He was questioning his entire existence, yet he felt so natural here, so much like himself beneath all the turmoil and questions. Thoughts of his wife never entered his mind.
He couldn't make sense of anything. He couldn't stay away. He couldn’t stop himself from going back, would not have even tried. He made his way back to the lonely house where he watched her through the windows.
Her blazing hair set his heart on fire. Her emerald eyes sparkled in the light, and the sadness she carried punched him in the gut. Her beauty was mesmerizing, but it was the pain she tried to conceal that captivated him. He wondered what could cause such an amazing creature so much pain. Her face brightened as she looked at her child, and Shep questioned how he could intensify her pain by taking her child.
When she turned out the lights, Shep left her for a while in search of food and water. He found a stream nearby where he drank and cooked tiny fish over an open fire. He sat thinking of the girl and for the first time, Fionna crept into his thoughts. He was angry at her for interrupting his dreams of another woman, but chastised himself quickly. His lovely little wife was innocent. He loved her in his own way. At least, he thought he did. She fit nicely in his arms and when they loved each other, he was never left wanting for more, and yet he did. It wasn’t until he met the girl in his dreams that his marriage seemed ill fit. He had never considered his dreams could cause a problem. He never considered the girl could be real and within his reach. He ate quickly and washed himself in the cold creek water before rushing back to the house.
He stood peeking into the windows and felt very much like the predator he was. He was grateful she lived so secluded, no chance of him being seen watching her. He watched as she nursed her child and lovingly rocked him to sleep. Shep was touched by her gentleness and wanted badly to touch her. When she climbed the stairs to the next floor, he quietly let himself in the house and followed her up. He sat and watched her sleep and when she woke the next morning, he was safely hidden in the forest.
Shep spent the next five days watching her. He was incapable of leaving her. He would sneak in every night and watch her sleep. Every now and then, he would enter the room of the child and watch him sleep as well. He felt an odd attachment to the child and a few times, when he felt especially brave would hold the sleeping child in his arms. The boy was perfect and Shep felt the same magnetic pull to the child as he did to the mother. He had stopped trying to decipher his feelings. It was getting in the way of his watching them. He knew his time was coming to an end and didn’t want to waste time trying to make sense of the situation. He briefly considered taking the girl as well, but knew he could never bring her to Neveah. He had to return to his life and his wife.
It was the night before his planned departure, and Shep had settled into his role as their night watchman. He had gone in and silently kissed the baby on the cheek before making his way to the chair at the foot of her bed. He watched her sleep every night, hiding in the closet when she woke to care for the baby. She slept restlessly, and he wondered why. Her body always seemed tense and ready for flight. He admired her body as she slept, counted her breaths, watched as she tossed and turned. He memorized her every rise and fall, line and curve.
That night though, she spoke in her sleep, softly but clearly. “Where are you? Why have you been gone so long? We have waited for you.” Shep moved closer, unable to stop himself. He was kneeling beside her bed when he heard her say, “Shep, I miss you, come home to me! Where are you?” Her words came quietly and were laced with sadness.
Hearing his name sent a shockwave through his entire body. She had spoken his name as she slept. He reasoned it had to be coincidence, but knew at once that it wasn’t. Before Shep could think twice, he went to her and gently crawled into bed beside her. She snuggled into him, as though he had held her like that hundreds of times before. He wound his hand in her hair and deeply inhaled her scent. She began touching his body, softly, lovingly, but with longing. His body responded without thought, and his hands found their way around her body. Holding her was natural, she fit perfectly in his arms, and when her mouth found his, a wave of heat radiated through his every fiber until his entire body was set on fire. Shep kissed her urgently, needing to taste her, touch her, and to smell her. He made love to her, as though he would die without feeling himself inside of her. He was gentle and loving and when they were joined in ecstasy, he kissed her face, tasting her tears mixed with his own. He held her that night as she drifted in and out of lucidness, but never fully waking. He knew she forced herself into sleep, thinking he was only a dream. He let her believe that, knowing he would have to leave her in the morning.
He rose well before dawn and dressed himself. He still couldn’t explain what had happened between him and this woman, but he intended to find out. He would figure out where his memory had gone and why they were apart. He would come back for her. He promised her that as she slept.
He would have to keep his promise to his aunt Kelsha, though. As much as his body and heart ached for this creature, he knew he must go. He had a home and a wife waiting for him. He had a broken aunt who was in desperate need of repair, and this child could be her cure. Kelsha had always been there for Shep, at least as far as he remembered, and he would not let her down now. Not for his own pleasure. He would endure the pain of leaving her and breaking her heart.
By the time she woke, Shep was nearing the portal. The baby he felt so drawn
too, yet didn’t know his name, was wrapped snugly against his body. Just before he stepped into the portal, he said, “I’m sorry,” quietly, and disappeared into the space between Neveah and Earth.
~Chapter Sixteen~
Shep knew, watching his aunt, that he had done the right thing. The child was wonderful, and he felt his own connection to him. The child would be loved and well cared for and his aunt was happy again, yet deep in the pit of his gut, he felt horrible. He couldn’t get the mysterious girl out of his thoughts. He had hoped that the sight of his wife would push the boy’s mother out of his mind. He tried over and over to forget her, but her face kept appearing in his mind. He saw her everywhere, while training the Specials to fight, while hunting, while making love to his wife, and especially when he was near the baby. The constant yearning for her was making his life unbearable. He hoped Kelsha could answer some questions for him.
Kelsha’s green eyes danced as she looked at the baby boy, her baby boy. She expected him to be unique, even beautiful, but this child was beyond her imagination. His features were perfect, but his aura glowed more brightly than any aura she had ever seen. She knew this child had to possess a great ability. The pain of her own child’s death was neatly stored away, the hole in her heart being filled with admiration for this child. She was undeniably grateful to Shep, who stood by watching her bask in this child’s beauty. She hadn’t let the child out of her sight from the moment Shep placed him in her arms. She named him James in honor of the man whom she had loved, and whom she had killed.
He found her in her usual spot, rocking the baby. Motherhood suited her well, he thought, and kissed her on the cheek in greeting. “Hello, Aunt Kelsha. Hello, baby James,” he said as he settled next to the two of them. They made idle conversation about the Specials, Heren, and the baby. After a long while of this, Shep finally asked the question that had been tearing his life apart, “Who is his mother?” His tone was soft but firm. Kelsha remained calm. She had been expecting questions and knew how to answer them.
“I am, of course,” she replied, being slightly coy. She knew this was not what he meant, but it was worth a try.
“That’s not what I mean,” he said, annoyance hidden in his voice. Kelsha sighed deeply, as though trying to find words.
“Her name is Lilly Mender. She is the granddaughter of the Levannahs,” she began, watching him for signs of cracks in the wall that housed his past. He didn’t seem fazed by her name, making Kelsha feel all the more confident in Heren’s ability. Had she used her own special gift, had she taken even the tiniest glimpse into Shep’s mind, she would have seen that wall crumbling down. She was too preoccupied with the baby to think logically.
“Why her child, though? I mean, isn’t it dangerous kidnapping the great grandchild of that family?” he asked, curiously.
“Yes, it is very dangerous. She has let them down, though. You see, they had great plans for her, but she abandoned them for the Ordinaries of Earth.”
“Why then?”
“She killed the love of my life, but not before seducing him and becoming pregnant, with this child.” Shep was taken back. He had always thought Heren was Kelsha’s only love.
“What about Heren?”
“Heren and I have been close for a very long time. He was there for me after the death of my true love, and has been with me since. I love him dearly, but he was not my first choice.”
“Is this child his? Your first love’s?”
“Yes, she had his child. It should have been me. The Levannahs did nothing to stop her.”
“Is that why I am training these Specials, to fight the great rulers?”
“Yes, Shep, and we will overturn them. They should not be allowed to run Neveah, not if they support her kind of violence.” Shep was quick to catch her contradiction, but he didn't let her know. If this Lilly girl was such a disappointment to her family and fled Neveah, why would Kelsha want to go after the family? He knew what she was saying to him was not the truth.
“I feel a connection to her, Kelsha. I was hoping you would know why,” he asked finally, and she was slightly worried. Her brain worked quickly in an attempt to spin a story he would believe.
They had sat in silence for only a few moments when Kelsha simply said, “You played together as children a few times. You probably just remember that.” The answer was simple and believable. She hoped.
Shep was careful to keep his feelings hidden well. His face didn’t reveal his sudden distrust in his aunt. He had never known her to lie to him, but he knew she was now. He knew he had to have been more than a playmate with the Lilly girl. He wouldn’t feel so strongly for a mere playmate. He didn’t let it show that a lightning struck through his heart when Kelsha spoke the name Lilly. He knew, without a doubt, the girl was very important to him at some point, and Kelsha was trying to keep that part of his past from him. He knew now that she would be of no help to him. He stood, smiling at his aunt. “Thank you, Auntie, I feel better now, having more information.” He kissed her cheek again, as well as the baby and turned to leave her. Kelsha had no idea of the photo he had tucked inside of his shirt pocket. Lilly and him, and he carried it close to his heart. He patted his heart gently as he walked away from her.
Kelsha watched him go. She was sure he was regaining his memory. She had seen the past seeping through the cracks since his return from the Ordinary World. She knew sending Shep to Lilly would be dangerous. She was aware that he may be lost to her. If Lilly Levannah made her way into Shep's mind, he would be lost to Kelsha forever. Part of her was sad when she thought of life without Shep around. The other part of her, the bigger part, could care less for Shep and his memories. He had served her well and in truth, she had no need for him anymore. She knew it was time to prepare. If the old Shep surfaced, he would come for her, for his child. She would be ready. She would win.
~Chapter Seventeen~
Since leaving Lilly and James behind, Leah became obsessive about stopping her sister and getting her son back. Her grandson needed his father, and Leah would give that to him, even if it killed her. She had been tempted to go back to the compound, force Shep to leave with her, but thought better of it. The blank look in his eyes bore a hole in her mind. She knew he would not leave willingly with her. She was not quite ready to face Kelsha.
She spent most of her time in The Dark Forest, training her people. When she wasn't training she was watching Shep, studying the compound. She hadn't even gone to see the Levannahs, but knew she should. Denali would be very helpful to her. She just couldn't find the time between her training and studying.
It was the first time she went to watch Shep that she realized Kelsha's child died at birth. She watched Shep mope around the compound for days. He wore a constant look of worry and always seemed on the brink of tears. It angered Leah to see her son so distraught over that woman, but it relieved her as well. It was that caring, devotion, and love that was her son to his core. That gave her hope that her boy was still in there, trapped in his own mind. She had to set him free.
She knew trying to take him during such a time of distress would only push him further into Kelsha's world. He would never abandon her in a time of need. He would fight Leah harder. No, she would wait, watch, bide her time.
She was more than pleased with the progress made by her creatures and specials. They were quick studies and impressed her on a daily basis. She taught them how to hone their powers and use them as weapons or for protection. She also taught them how to wield earthly weapons, and she educated them on Kelsha.
The time was close. Leah could feel a shift in the atmosphere. She would soon face her sister and break down her son's wall. Normally, Leah traveled to the compound with Shea, thinking it best no one went there alone. Shea was anxious to save her sister, Alana, and enjoyed the time near the compound. Shea found it easier to connect with her sister when they were in such close proximity. Once Alana was safely away from Jax, she would go to Calista and then to Aubrey.
Lat
ely there hadn't been much to report on. Things were the same. Kelsha was locked in her bedchamber while Shep trained for her. Leah knew her sister well enough to know that once she mourned her son, she would emerge a more vengeful woman. She would be more determined to wage a war.
Leah and Shea made the journey to the compound, the last they would make before facing Kelsha. Once they arrived, Leah immediately noticed that Shep was not training the small army. It was the hybrid, Danu, who was in charge. Leah felt uneasy in her belly.
“Where is Shep?” she absently asked Shea.
“I don't know, let me connect with Alana,” she replied and promptly shut her eyes. The Fey stood motionless, listening to her sister. Suddenly, her eyes flew open and looked at Leah, her face frozen. Leah had known Shea long enough to know when something was wrong, and by the look on her face, something was clearly wrong.
“What is it, Shea?” she asked with urgency.
“Kelsha has sent Shep to fetch a child for her,” she replied, afraid to speak the words for fear they would be true.
“What child?” Leah asked carefully. Her Fey was distraught and Leah worried she would shut down. She had noticed in recent weeks that Shea was becoming weaker, less able to communicate with her sisters, and her thin frame had grown slightly thinner. Leah had yet to approach Shea on her failing health and worried this latest news may likely shut her down.
Shea looked at Kelsha, tears forming in her eyes. “She sent him to get baby James. He has gone back to Earth to steal his own child.”
“What?” Leah screamed, uncaring of who might hear.
“The time is coming, Leah. We must be ready. We must get Alana out of that compound since she is getting weak, much like me. Calista is as well. The imbalance is growing stronger. We don't have much time.”
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