Cliché

by Ryleigh Sloan

  “Do you think that’s all you were to me? My fuck buddy?”

  Anger and pain hung in the air like toxins and regret hit me like a punch to the gut. “No—Kev. I…It’s just…You said you couldn’t be who I needed you to be and I get that, I do. You don’t do the one-and-only thing. Neither did I, but somewhere along the line, the game plan changed. I couldn’t press the reset button. There was no going back.”

  Kevin turned and made his way across the room to me. Kneeling down, he took my hands in his. Despite the warm temperature, I was suddenly ice cold and he warmed my hands with his own. “How can you think all you were to me was my fuck buddy? You’ve always been everything to me. I fucking love you, Claire. I think I’ve always been in love with you but I was too stupid to admit it to myself.”

  I should have been giddy from his declaration but something about his expression had all kinds of alarms sounding. I watched Kevin swallow, saw the flash of regret and the internal struggle. My heart crashed against my ribs as I waited for his next words. “But nothing has changed. My life is one big spotlight—everything I do gets plastered on the internet for the world to see. There’s a website dedicated to listing what brand of shampoo and toothpaste I use. Someone broke in and fucking recorded us. What if—” He stood then and jammed his hands into his pockets. “I can’t subject you to my life. I won’t subject you to this life. I just won’t.”

  It was my turn to ball my hands into fists. “You won’t subject me to this? You won’t? Do I have any say in this?”

  “You’ve had your say. Over and over. You’ve been very vocal about how you don’t want this life.”

  I could feel my fingers shaking and tucked my hands under my armpits to try to hide the tremor. “Things change, I’ve changed. A year ago, I was a girl who fucked her best friend for fun and swore she’d never settle down.” Fear wrapped around me like barbed-wire and suddenly I was fighting—fighting for my life because I knew I couldn’t have Kevin walk out of my life even though I’d walked out of his.

  Kevin scrubbed a hand over his face, his fingers rasping over the stubble the only sound in the room. “Claire, it never ends. As long as you’re with me, strangers are always going to invade your privacy. They’ll never leave you alone. Every single thing you do will be documented and recorded and most of it will be lies.”

  He sat down again. Pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, he looked at me briefly, just long enough for me to catch the glisten in his eyes. My stomach sank like an anchor as I realised I was losing him all over again. I reached for his hand, desperate to tether him to me. “Kev, can you look at me, please?” Mirroring his earlier position, I knelt so I could meet his eyes. Pain tore through my abdomen but I didn’t care, I needed him to see that I meant every word.

  Kevin frowned and stood, gently bringing me to my feet. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. “All my life I’ve gone for safe, chosen the path of least resistance when it came to relationships. I never really allowed myself to feel because feelings aren’t easy, love isn’t easy. It’s brutal and painful and terrifying.” My voice tremored and I prayed it would hold out for me until I said what I needed to say. “I didn’t fully comprehend till I lost you how ‘safe’ wasn’t really living. I’m done not living, Kev. I know being with you won’t be easy. I know being with you is going to be like a giant flashing button to all my triggers. But if being safe means not having you, I don’t want to be safe. I love you. With everything that I have, I love you.” Tears slipped down my cheeks, dropping to my breasts like dew on a petal. “Don’t shut me out because you’re trying to protect me. I don’t need protection. I need you.” I trailed off as Kevin’s thumb grazed over my bottom lip, smearing a tear that had rested there.

  He searched my eyes then, and I could still feel him wavering. I moved forward and cupped his face in my hands, hoping against hope that he’d listen to me. He moved his hands to my wrists and leaned his forehead against mine. “Your life will never be your own.”

  I tipped his head so his eyes could meet mine. “In the last while I’ve learned so much. But one thing I can honestly say is that nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life is as terrifying as being responsible for someone else’s child. I carried my nephew for nine months and when I had to undergo an emergency C-section, all I could think about the entire time was I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him—if my body was the reason he didn’t make it. Carrying my nephew was a true gift that put my life into perspective. I’m never going to like the spotlight or my picture being taken or the lack of privacy but in the scheme of things, compared to what I’ve just gone through, a guy hiding in a hotel room or the paparazzi camping out to take a couple of pictures doesn’t even rate.”

  Kevin was quiet for the longest time and I held my breath. I meant everything I’d said. No amount of privacy invasion could be as scary as what I’d just experienced and if it meant having Kevin back—my life back—I was going to deal with it.

  “And how do you feel about being shadowed by Sebastian?” He took a step back, still holding my wrists, his eyes seeking out answers.

  I licked my dry lips, feeling hope bloom. Now that I’d calmed down, I realised that Kevin only had my best interests at heart when he’d put the bodyguard on me. “How good is he at Go Fish?”

  His grin made my stomach feel buoyant with relief. “He’s terrible at it, that’s why I hired him. Gotta keep up my winning streak.”

  “Then I suppose I’ll take you any way I can get you.” Repeating his words from my sweatpants and socks threat back to him with a teasing smile.

  His kiss made my insides liquid with relief. “I love you, Claire. I need you.”

  “I love you too.” Tears ran in rivulets down my cheeks. The adrenaline was wearing off and suddenly I was exhausted. Feeling the effects of the pain killers and the emotions of the day, I stumbled a few steps.

  “Let’s get you back to bed.” Kevin swooped me gently into his arms. I leaned my head against his chest as he carried me back to my room, revelling in the feel of his heart—the heart that belonged to me—beating against my ear.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “What are you doing?” Kevin looked at me suspiciously as I crawled onto his lap.

  “Isn’t it obvious?” I asked, kissing his neck. I could feel his cock stir between my legs and I hid my smile by nipping his earlobe gently.

  He inhaled a sharp breath and taking it to mean I was on the right track, I rocked my hips, rubbing myself against the seam of his jeans. God, it felt good, the rough fabric of the jeans lending just enough friction to my naked clit. I was going to leave a wet spot on his jeans but I didn’t care.

  “Goddammit, stop, Claire. Carry on and I’ll come in my boxers.”

  I kissed my way up his neck while I continued to rub myself against his erection. “I’d rather you came in me.”

  It had been five weeks, four days, and three hours since Kevin and I had gotten back together…or gotten together, whichever way you looked at it. It had been weeks since I had recovered and all I wanted was him inside me.

  “Claire.” There it was again, his resolved tone.

  I needed to up my game. I shifted my weight, pressing harder against him as I licked his top lip. A groan slipped from his lips and then he stood. I tightened my legs around him and ground my hips into him, feeling so pleased with myself I was giddy. I could tell it wasn’t going to take long for me to get off. In fact, if I carried on rubbing myself against Kevin this way I was pretty sure I’d come in the next couple of strokes. Kevin deepened the kiss and I was lost. Lost in the feel of his lips moulding to mine, lost to his tongue sweeping languidly into my mouth. I was so lost in the taste of him that it took me a few moments to realise that my feet were on the floor.

  Blinking, I blew out a frustrated breath. “Are you frikkin’ kidding me?”

  He looked pained as I placed my hands on my hips and glared at him. “Claire, let’s just wait ‘til you
r check up on Thursday, okay?”

  I walked up to him and pressing myself against him, I ran my fingers through his hair. “It’s in two days. I’m fine. I’ve been fine.”

  We’d had this debate for over a week now and every time he’d refused to budge. I felt perfect. Fully recovered from the caesarean and all I wanted was to feel Kevin’s hands on me, to feel him in me, but he was adamant that we needed the doctor’s go-ahead.

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  If I wasn’t so frustrated, I’d have admired his chivalry and his restraint. He really looked like it was taking just about all he had to hold back and I could feel just how hard he was through his jeans, but I was frustrated and dammit if I wasn’t going to employ all tactics to get what I wanted.

  “This is ridiculous, you know it is. What difference is two days going to make?”

  He took a step back, rubbing his neck so hard I worried he’d give himself rope burn. “I’m just trying to be considerate.”

  That did it. “Fine. You be considerate. I want to come. And since you don’t want to help…”

  I already had my rabbit out of the drawer and was stripping the t-shirt off before he caught up to me.

  “What are you doing?”

  He looked amused and it kind of pissed me off. I couldn’t believe I had to beg him to fuck me. Well, I was done begging. I didn’t answer him, I grabbed the purple rabbit and crawled onto the bed. Still on all fours, I was deciding if I needed lube or not when the toy was ripped out of my hand.

  “I’ll be damned if I’ll let a toy get this orgasm.”

  I was on my back and my nipple was in Kevin’s mouth before I had time to celebrate my victory. My back arched off the bed as each suck made my pussy pulse. Kevin seemed content to take his time, but I was in no way happy with that. White-hot desire throbbed in my clit and I whimpered a plea.

  Kevin moved off me and for a second there, I thought he’d changed his mind. I was just about to let rip with a string of expletives that would make a madam of a whorehouse blush when Kevin stepped out of his jeans and removed his t-shirt. I was transfixed by the way his abs moved as he pulled the shirt over his head and my fingers itched to trace every line. Apparently, my neurons were just as stupefied as I was because instead of reaching for him, I just lay there. Kevin joined me on the bed, getting himself nice and comfy against the pillow. His lip tugged at the corner and he crooked a finger. Normally, I’d kick my heels in at being beckoned like that, but I wasn’t about to chance Kevin changing his mind.

  His eyes tracked me as I crawled up his body. When I reached his hips, I tugged at the boxers barely restraining his cock. His teeth scraped over his bottom lip and I moved to settle myself onto him but his hands reached out for my waist and he tugged me gently. “Not so fast. Move up a little.”

  I slid up him, making sure to stroke his cock with my slick pussy on the way up, taking great pains to coat his crown really well. I knew where he was going with this and despite the fact that I was throbbing painfully, I took immense satisfaction when his jaw tensed in an effort to keep from bucking his hips. I positioned myself over his face, hovering inches from his lips while he moved lower on the pillows. It was so fucking hot to look down and see his eyes burn into me while my pussy was mere millimetres from his face. All he had to do was dart out his tongue and he’d be able to taste me but his mouth remained still, waiting for me to make my move.

  A tiny droplet of my arousal dripped from me and onto his lip. I watched his tongue gather my juices and his hands gripped the pillow behind his head with brute force—his biceps quivering with the effort to restrain himself.

  “Geez, Claire, you’re sure making it difficult for me to relinquish control here.”

  Everything clenched. Everything!

  I lowered myself to his lips, barely touching his mouth. His tongue dipped into my folds as I held onto the wrought-iron frame and slowly started working my hips. Rubbing myself against his tongue in slow strokes, I swept up his tongue from my opening to my clit then back. I kept the tempo maddeningly slow because I wanted to savour the sensations as well as the way Kevin looked in that moment. His eyes burned into mine, the white-knuckled grip he kept on the pillow in his struggle to remain in control. Yet despite his struggle, he kept to my pace, allowing me to languidly stroke my pussy with his tongue. The pulse, the sight of Kevin’s lips glistening from my juices, was more than I could stand and I widened my legs, mashing myself against his waiting tongue.

  Kevin groaned as my body quickened and I pulsed against his lips, my hips rocking in frantic abandon as I rubbed my orgasm out against his face. At some point, his hands found their way to my hips and he pulled me closer. I don’t know how he managed to breathe, but honestly, at that point oxygen was the last thing either of us was thinking about.

  Needing him in me, I moved my way down his body, scraping my nails lightly down his chest on my way down. I was about to settle myself onto his cock when he turned me around, facing me away from him, my legs on either side of his. He caressed my butt and then two fingers dipped inside me, gathering my juices before rimming the puckered flesh above my opening. Just that whispering over my sensitive flesh had me clenching all over again. I pushed my hips back, taking a finger into my forbidden opening. I pushed back some more, wanting more, needing more. Kevin obliged and slid another finger inside me, stretching me. I moaned and peered at him over my shoulder. He was biting down so hard on his lip I couldn’t understand how he wasn’t bleeding.

  Kevin bent his legs and I rested my hands on his knees. Gripping his cock, I guided him to my entrance, taking him in inch by glorious inch. I knew he loved seeing me like this, with a view of my ass as I rode his cock, so I made sure to take him right to the hilt. Then I slid him back out to the tip of his crown, clenching around his head. He felt incredible this way. With his fingers working slowly in and out of my ass, I felt him everywhere. The sensations were overwhelming; every time I sheathed him I felt the build. I held on for as long as I could but when his legs started trembling I knew he was close too, so I let go.

  “I’m going to come,” I gasped. My pussy clamped down and he erupted inside me with a low groan. I squeezed his cock as my orgasm tore through me, milking every last drop of his release out of him. His fingers continued to work inside me, drawing out my orgasm until I was practically whimpering for him to stop.

  Kevin lifted me off him and lay me down on the pillow next to him, kissing my damp forehead. He walked to the bathroom and returned a moment later with a warm washcloth and used it to gently wash me between my legs. Funny, of all the things we’d been through together, nothing felt so intimate as having Kevin wipe our juices from between my legs. He returned the cloth to the bathroom, then gathered me into his arms. I tickled my fingers over his chest as he ran his fingers up and down my spine.

  “Say it,” I murmured in my haze.

  I felt his smile. “What would you like me to say?”

  “If I have to ask for it, it doesn’t count.”

  He chuckled. “I love you.”

  I smiled. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  His chest shook as another round of laughter took him. “Doesn’t make it any less true.”

  I snuggled in closer, nipping his chest gently with my teeth. He flinched and swatted my butt.

  “Why can’t you ever admit when I’m right?” I probed.

  He brushed my hair away from my face and gifted me with another kiss. “I promise when you are, I will.”

  He deserved to be punished for that remark but I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I can’t say if I was dreaming or not but just before I dozed off, I’m sure I heard him whisper, “You were right. I love you.” Then he wrapped his arms tighter around me.

  All thoughts of punishments and paybacks were forgotten as I drifted off in his arms.

  Chapter Thirty

  The four-kilometre drive to the spa served to remind me of how lucky I was to live in this beautiful co
untry. On the short drive, we’d been blessed to see giraffes, zebras, and blesboks with calves in tow. The wildebeest who’d snorted at us in disapproval the previous day when we’d walked by his turf seemed content to let us drive by at the ten-kilometres-an-hour speed limit with barely a glance as he grazed on the lush grass. The drought hadn’t been kind to the animals but recent rains had done wonders in turning the barren grass from a dull beige to a brilliant green.

  Cool air greeted us as we walked into the spa reception and I was grateful for the respite from the heat of the late morning. The temperature gauge on Kevin’s Range Rover showed it to be a scorching thirty-one degrees, and that at eleven o’clock. Kevin walked to the desk to check in for our appointment and I browsed the displays of beauty products. The new summer OPI range included cool blues and vibrant purples, and I made a mental note to pick up a couple of bottles on the way out. A beautiful girl with deep mocha skin and green eyes came to take us to the locker rooms where Kevin and I split up to change into gowns and slippers. I opted to use the stall to change in. I wasn’t much sold on the idea of flashing my goods if anyone decided to walk in at that time. It was bad enough that I felt naked despite the oversized gown I was wearing. There was something about not wearing a bra in public that made me feel exposed.

  I placed my shorts and tank into the locker and placed the key in the pocket of the gown. When I walked out of the locker room, Kevin was leaning against the stone wall, legs crossed at the ankles and the corner of his mouth curved in a lopsided grin.

  I gave him a twirl, wriggling my toes in the one-size-fits-all slippers that looked six sizes too big for me.

  “What’d ya think?”

  He pushed off the wall and pulled me into his arms, pressing his lips firmly to mine.

  “Tell me you’re going commando under there.”