Starting Fires

by Makenzie Smith

  Everyone was busy talking, filling each other in on their lives. No questions were ever directed towards me, so I ate in silence as I listened to them share.

  Lucas ran out of mashed potatoes and he playfully forked some off my plate. In retaliation, I took some of his yams, making a show of devouring them. He smirked, making an amused sound behind his closed lips.

  As we were still smiling at each other, Candace’s mom cleared her throat and wiped her napkin along her mouth. “Marla, how do you know the Burns’?” she asked with a practiced geniality.

  Already, I was annoyed that she didn’t get my name right, but tried my best to answer her kindly. “I’m friends with some of Lucas’ bandmates. We met that way.”

  Linda tilted her head to the side in confusion. “Oh. I thought you were one of Mia’s college friends.”

  “No,” I shook my head. “We don’t go to the same University.”

  “I wish you did,” Mia huffed. “Maybe I’d have someone to hang out with on the weekends.” As I played with the rest of my food, I smiled at her. Something told me Mia was a wild one, and hanging out with her would be nothing but entertaining.

  “So you’re working towards your degree, though?” Linda continued. “When do you graduate?”

  “Next spring.”

  “Took you long enough,” Candace muttered. “What are you, like 30?”

  Trying my best to do as Mia advised, I smiled in her direction. “26.”

  “Well, it’s never too late,” William said. “You should be proud. Most don’t even have a college degree. Me included. Lucas was the first in my family.”

  “What has taken you so long?” Candace added. “I mean it’s not like you’re going to be a doctor or anything. Did you flunk out?”

  “Who wants pie?” his mother asked, standing up from the table with a smile. All of the Burns’ made a show of really wanting it, so I joined in. Like the perfect, too good to be true, mother she was, she walked around the table, serving us each our own slice, and even though I was full, I ate every bite.

  After dinner, Candace pulled Lucas off to the side. They were talking in hushed voices and I could tell that she was really laying into him. She caught me staring and loudly said, “Lucas, can you come help me with something outside?” He sighed but followed her out the door.

  I wondered if this was going to be the breaking point for us. The moment that Kate seemed to think was inevitable. If it was, I hoped he’d have the decency to not do it in front of his family.

  “Marlowe, honey, can you lend me a hand?” his mother asked.

  I walked into the kitchen and stood next to her. She was washing dishes in the sink even though they had a dishwasher. Kicking it lightly with my toe, I asked, “Broken?”

  “No,” she smiled. “There’s something peaceful about washing dishes. I’ve always preferred to do it this way.” I disagreed, but would never tell her that.

  From the kitchen window, I could see Lucas and Candace out in the yard. His hands were linked behind his head, and hers were moving wildly while she talked to him. It was hard to concentrate on my task when every couple of seconds I found myself peeking at them.

  “Don’t you worry, darling,” his mother said softly.

  “I’m – I’m not worried,” I replied, trying to focus on drying a dish.

  “Well, that’s good.”

  After a while, I noticed we were both looking out the window. Candace was touching his stomach, but Lucas wasn’t reciprocating. His hands were still firmly behind his head, but I had no idea what they were saying to each other. It could be anything.

  “He doesn’t look at her the way he looks at you,” Helen told me. “And he never did.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, and she must have known because immediately she started talking to me about a TV show that she’d recently started watching. William had introduced her to it, and she was surprised with all the killing and blood that she was still able to enjoy it.

  It distracted me so well, that I didn’t even realize Lucas had come inside. Suddenly, he was standing beside me. “Dad’s about to start the bonfire,” he told his mom. “He wants to know if everything’s ready.”

  “It should all be over on the counter.”

  I looked in the direction she’d nodded and saw all the fixings for s’mores. “Another Burns tradition?” I asked with a smile.

  “Since Lucas was seven.”

  I heard him shuffling his feet, and looked to him. “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked and my stomach squirmed.

  “I can finish these up,” Helen said.

  As I followed Lucas through the house, I realized that I was staring at my feet the whole time, like an insecure teenager. Was this it? I tried not to admit how that made me feel. The only thing I allowed myself to think was I’m not ready for this to be over.

  We reached a door, but Lucas’ dad called to him from the living room. “Need your help with the fire, son.”

  “Give me a minute,” he yelled down the hall.

  “Okay, but you’re holding everybody up,” William said with annoyance.

  Lucas sighed. “Wait in here. I’ll be back in a bit.”

  As I went through the door, I realized that this was Lucas’ old bedroom. It had to be. A guitar was in a corner. Pictures of trees lined the walls. It had the same feel as the one in his current home, only cleaner.

  To distract myself, I started looking around. On top of his dresser was a picture of him and an old woman. She had an oxygen tank hooked up to her nose, and I guessed that it was his grandmother. The one who called him her little sparrow. It was clear from his smile that she had meant a great deal to him.

  The door opened, and I expected to see Lucas coming in. But it was Candace. With a smile, she sighed as she took in the room. “I haven’t been in here in ages,” she said. “Gosh, there are so many memories.” Confidently, she walked to the bed and sprawled on it seductively. “Especially here.” Propping up on her elbow, she looked into my eyes. “Not as many memories as his bed at home, but then again we have so many there, it would be hard to compete.”

  Was she serious?

  Her evil grin told me that it was obvious her statement had gotten under my skin. “I don’t care, Candace,” I said sharply.

  “Sure…” she drew out. “I bet you don’t.”

  Just then Helen joined us—which was probably a good thing, I could feel my anger rising. “There you are,” she smiled at Candace. “We’re all about to go outside for the s’mores.”

  With a big, put on grin she rose from the bed. “Yay! This is why I love Christmas with the Burns’. They always make it so much fun! Oh, I adore you, Helen!” The hug she gave her was so fake and over the top, I wanted to gag.

  Helen held onto her arm as she started leading her out of the room, I went to follow but then Helen turned to me and said, “If you still aren’t feeling well, feel free to stay in here, darling. We’ll be out there for a while. No one will bother you.”

  “Yeah,” Candace said. “You should stay. This is more of a family tradition anyway.” She gave me a cheeky smile and shrugged her head into her shoulder. Helen’s lip went tight.

  Not wanting to make the situation worse I said, “I’ll just wait in here for Lucas.”

  They closed the door and I stood in the middle of his room, the sound of my breathing the only noise. My chest started constricting with every minute that I was alone.

  The door finally opened, but I didn’t turn to see who it was. If he was going to do this, I couldn’t look into his eyes.

  He came up behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist. “I’m sorry,” he said, and stepped away from me. “You don’t have to tell me you’re uncomfortable. If I am, I know you are. I had no idea she’d be here. If I had, I would have told you.” He sat on his old bed, his eyes looking down. “We can leave anytime you like. Just say the word, and I’ll take you away from her.”

  This didn’t feel like he was endin
g it. At all. It felt like he was trying to protect me from her cattiness. “What did she say to you?” I asked.

  “The same shit. Don’t worry yourself with it,” he said kindly. “I got tired of listening to her and came inside.” He was still sitting on his bed. The same bed the two of them had made memories on. Suddenly, the need to rid him of any thought of her became unbearable.

  Very slowly, I turned the lock on his door. The sound made him look up. I started unbuttoning my shirt as I walked towards him. Anxiously watching me, he took a deep breath and rubbed his hands down his thighs. On the last button, I was standing in front of him. My hands went to my jeans, and I slowly undid them.

  Apart from my crying episode in the bathroom, we’d barely touched each other all day, and right now, I wanted to feel him everywhere. The house was empty for the time being, so it was my chance. As I stepped out of my pants, his hands went to my waist as he trailed soft kisses along my skin.

  He pulled my panties down my legs, moving his mouth down my stomach. On a shaky sigh, I brought my hand to his hair, running my fingers through it. Slowly, he trailed a finger up my thigh and to my opening, sliding it across before gradually pushing it into me.

  I barely had time to moan before he took my leg and hiked it over his shoulder. His mouth joined his finger, and, to steady myself, I held onto his head and shoulder as his tongue came out to lick me. His kisses were languid, making me gasp. When I rolled into him, his moan made my body heat.

  As he added another finger, my hips started moving, and I closed my eyes. I loved the feeling of his other hand raking down my hiked leg. How he squeezed each time he reached my ass. His fingers pushing in and out of me. The heat and pressure from his tongue.

  It was amazing—more so because he obviously loved it as much as I did. As he started sucking, my breath hitched. Part of me wanted to finish this way, but we didn’t have much time and I needed him inside me. Abruptly, I pulled away and pushed his shoulders, telling him to fall back on the bed.

  He did, scooting up towards the pillows and undoing his jeans. I didn’t bother taking off my bra or shirt and he didn’t bother with his clothes either, only pushing his pants down far enough to free his dick.

  I straddled his hips, and held him at my entrance as I slid down. Our breaths were quick and strained as I settled. When I started moving, I pushed his shirt up and braced my hands against his chest. Lucas gripped my waist and watched me above him. Our thrusts were fast and deep, perfectly synchronized.

  In the quiet house, the rhythmic sound of the bed squeaking gave away what we were doing. Even though we were alone, I felt embarrassed. Someone could walk inside at any second. I started slowing down, but every time I moved, the bed creaked.

  Noticing my discomfort, Lucas breathlessly said, “Sit up straight.” I did and he maneuvered my legs until I was elevated above him. His hands held me at the hips, keeping me in place, as he slowly pushed in and out of me. With his gentle movements, the noise stopped.

  His head fell back on a groan and I matched it, feeling every inch of him. Each time his hips came up, my whole body tingled, overwhelming pleasure shooting through when he was fully inside. My gasps and breathy encouragements had him gripping my waist forcefully.

  “Goddamn it,” he breathed still slowly pumping. After a moment, he propped his head on some pillows so he could watch me. I tried to imagine what he saw. My shirt was open, my black bra still in place. My lips were parted as I panted with his movements.

  When his jaw tightened, I knew he liked it, and I held his wrists as he started moving faster. We stared in each other’s eyes as I felt it coming. He knew it too. My face must have changed, my breathing must have become more erratic. Because, abruptly, he sat up and wrapped my legs around him. The sound of the bed forgotten, he started slamming me down onto him. I struggled to keep in the cries as his strong arms used my body to fuck him.

  One of his hands came to the nape of my neck, and he gave me a squeeze. “Hurry, baby,” he said through clenched teeth. “I’m about to…”

  Just hearing that made my eyes heavy and I moaned, bringing my mouth to his. By the sound of his breathing, I could tell he was barely holding on. “I love it, Lucas,” I whispered and felt my body react to the truth in my words. Tingles and heat spread throughout me and I clenched around him.

  His choking groans rang in my ears as I started shuddering on top of him. When he came, the grip he had on me became almost painful. To stifle our loud moans we used each other’s mouths, and once finished, fell back on the bed, still joined.

  As my breathing slowed, I realized the house was quiet and we were still alone. He gave me a squeeze before turning my face to his and nuzzling my nose. Smiling against my mouth, he rolled me over to my back, cradling my cheek as he said, “Hell of a Christmas present, Marzy.”

  My giggle was small, but then grew louder, turning into a full on belly laugh. Embarrassed by my outburst, I turned my head into the pillow and could hear him chuckling while he placed kisses to my shoulder.

  After I composed myself, we righted our clothes and I went to the bathroom. Everyone had been outside when I went in, but as I started to open the bathroom door, I could hear voices across the house. Feeling embarrassed that we’d just had sex in his childhood room, thinking that somehow everyone would know, I slowly turned the knob, soundlessly opening the door, trying not to draw attention to myself.

  It sounded as if everyone was gathered in the kitchen and I took a breath. Knowing I couldn’t stay in the hallway forever, I was about to move in that direction when I heard Mia’s voice down the hall. “So is she your girlfriend or what?”

  Light poured out of a crack in a door and I moved towards it. “No, she isn’t,” Lucas said.

  “Well, you act like she is. So I don’t get what you’re doing.”

  “Why do people have to put labels on shit? Whatever we are is working out fine. Why would I want to mess it up by making her my girlfriend?”

  “I don’t understand the two of you,” she sighed.

  “Yeah, well you don’t have to.”

  After that, I walked away. Partly because I didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping, but also because I didn’t understand us either. Even though we weren’t technically dating, we might as well be. He’d told me he wasn’t with anyone else, and neither was I. What exactly were we doing?

  If I thought about it, right now everything seemed so perfect. We didn’t fight or smother one another. Everything between us was still exciting and new. Would that change if we started dating? Would he suddenly want to know where I was going all the time? Would I get upset when he didn’t answer my phone calls? Would we argue and bicker until we couldn’t stand the sight of each other?

  In my experience with relationships, I’d found that eventually all the love faded away and you were left with only pieces. When I thought back to Mark, our love used to be this big, full, overflowing power. But as time when on, I could have held it in my hands and watched it crumble between my fingers. I couldn’t watch something I’d nurtured and built break apart again.

  Making it to the kitchen, I was pleased to know that the Wilsons were leaving. They were giving promises to get together again soon. Mia and Lucas came in and said their goodbyes, too. Candace’s arms lingered around his waist, but he pulled away to talk to her dad.

  Since it was late, we left shortly after. The hugs I received were so genuine, I could have cried. Especially, when Helen wrapped her arms around me. She didn’t even remind me of my own mom—not in the way she looked or acted, but she was the epitome of motherhood.

  She saw the tears in my eyes when she released me. “Sweetie, you are welcome in this house any time,” she said quietly. “And you remember what I told you.” I nodded and held the tears back.

  Lucas came up to me and rubbed my shoulder. “You ready to go, baby?” he said. Realizing that he hadn’t censored himself, I looked at his family, but they were acting as if they hadn’t heard anything strange.
Apparently, they’d accepted us for whatever we were. Well, except for Mia.

  She rolled her eyes.

  Chapter 18

  A few days after Christmas, Lucas fired Tammy. One night she didn’t show up or bother calling. Once he tracked her down, he found that she was fine, only insanely drunk. Since he was planning to hire a new bartender, it wasn’t a huge problem, but it meant that we wouldn’t be spending hardly any time together until the position was filled.

  That Saturday I was at his bar and had just finished balancing his books. Since he was meeting with potential employees all day, he didn’t dress in his usual attire of jeans and a t-shirt, but wore gray slacks and a cream-colored dress shirt with light pink pinstripes. No tie. The sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Even though I knew he’d be occupied, I chose to ride with him, just for the small moments we’d have in between his interviews.

  While waiting for the last applicant to arrive, we sat at the bar, his hand resting on my thigh and his elbow propped up on the counter. Spiderman was playing, and we watched with rapt attention.

  As I took a long swig of Coke, the straw started sucking air. Idly, Lucas rubbed my leg and, without me asking, moved to get up with the intention of making me a new drink. “Let me do it,” I said and rose from my seat.

  Making a show of it, I lifted the bar trap as I’d seen him do so many times, and sauntered over to the glasses. While breaking up some of the ice, I spun a new glass in my hand, smiling at him. He watched me with amusement as I scooped the ice in and brought the dispenser to it.

  “Think you could handle it?” he asked.

  Realizing that he was talking about bartending, I said, “By myself? Absolutely not. I would probably get every drink order wrong, and you’d have some seriously pissed off customers. They might never even come back.”