First Love (Soulmates #4)

by Hazel Kelly

  “Well, it is. And I’m in love with her.” I took a sip of the whiskey and walked to the chair opposite the couch.

  “I beg your pardon?” Victoria said, setting the small vodka bottle on the glass table between us.

  “I wish you’d beg my forgiveness,” I said. “Because I have half a mind to strangle you.”

  “Is this how you talk now? Like a genuine hillbilly? After just a few weeks down here?”

  “Why are you here?” I leaned forward and dropped my head, trying to push Jolie’s face from my mind so I wouldn’t have to imagine the hurt she was feeling. “You and I both know I didn’t invite you dow-”

  “Did you say you’re in love with her?”

  I stared at the crème colored carpet between my feet. “That’s right.”

  “But she’s… she’s…”

  I lifted my eyes. “What?”

  “Not good enough for you.”

  I squinted. “You mean not rich enough?”

  “Obviously.”

  “I know this is going to sound crazy to you, but that’s not a problem for me.”

  She pressed her dark lips together. “Do you have a fever or something? Because if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were deliberately trying to hurt my feelings.”

  I sighed. “Hurting your feelings has never been my intention, Vic, but you’re acting like a crazy person. Haven’t you any pride at all?”

  “Pride?”

  I sat up and leaned back in my chair. “I don’t love you, and I don’t want to spend my life with you. You have to stop this charade.”

  “The only charade is you gallivanting around like we didn’t have a deal.”

  “We didn’t.”

  “Fine,” she said. “Plans. Whatever. We had plans.”

  I raised a hand and rubbed my eyes.

  “Our fathers are business associates. Our families get along. We both have excellent genes and similar backgrounds. And we want the same things.”

  “No we don’t.”

  She turned her palms towards the ceiling. “What are you talking about? Of course we do.”

  I shook my head. “No. I want to marry someone I love, and you don’t.”

  “Yes I do.”

  “Oh please. You don’t love me, Victoria. You love how easy it would be to merge our lives.”

  “There are a lot of different kinds of love, Adam.”

  “And you deserve more.”

  “There isn’t more.”

  “Yes there is,” I said. “Don’t you want to wake up next to someone who can’t believe his luck that he’s with you? Someone who thinks you’re the most clever, charming, beautiful woman on the planet and counts down the minutes when you’re apart?”

  She looked at her lap. “That’s not going to happen for me.”

  “Why not? You’re a fantastic catch. You’re a wonderful cook, you always look amazing, and no one throws a better party.”

  “True.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “You’re maternal and kind and dependable.”

  She blinked at me.

  “There’s a man out there that could love the shit out of you,” I said. “It’s just not me, and you can’t meet him as long as you allow yourself to remain hung up on what we had, which was never anything but a relationship of convenience and you know it.”

  “And what if I don’t?” she asked. “What if I don’t find someone like that?”

  I opened my mouth to speak.

  “Then I’ll have nothing,” she said. “I’ll be a rich, lonely spinster with no one to leave my money, my recipes, or my property, too, and everything I’ve worked for- everything my parents have worked for- will have been a waste.”

  I pressed my lips together.

  “My whole family is counting on me,” she said. “Don’t you get that? My sister married a PE teacher. It’s all down to me now.”

  “Hold on a second,” I said, stepping around the table and sitting beside her.

  She sighed.

  “You’re forgetting something.”

  “What?”

  “Your sister,” I said, turning my knees towards her. “She’s happy, isn’t she?”

  “The happiest person I know,” she said, nodding. “Though I can’t imagine why.”

  “You know exactly why.”

  “Because she cracked under pressure and lost her mind?”

  I laughed. “No, Vic. Because she followed her heart.”

  “So?”

  I set my drink down. “So your parents didn’t disown her.”

  “No.”

  “And they didn’t ban Doug from family functions.”

  “Of course not.”

  “And they still spoil her kids so rotten that they’re all entitled little shits.”

  Her eyes bugged out.

  “I was just trying to see if you were paying attention.”

  “It’s only the eldest that’s precocious.”

  “I was joking,” I said. “Do you see where I’m going with this, though?”

  “You think I should marry a gym teacher?”

  “No. I think you need to recognize the fact that the kind of money your family has isn’t going to disappear overnight because you did or didn’t end up with a specific person.”

  Her dark eyes looked sad.

  “You have to loosen up,” I said, “and stop living in fear.”

  She craned her neck back. “Fear?”

  I nodded.

  “I’m not afraid of anything.”

  “Yes you are. You’re afraid of anything that can’t be predicted by economic advisors, and that includes romantic feelings.”

  “What would I even say though?” she said. “If people thought you broke up with me, who would even want-”

  “Lots of people,” I said. “And you don’t have to tell them that’s what happened. Say I started blowing money on ridiculous investments and you got out just before I dragged you down with me.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Yeah?”

  “Or say you didn’t love me. Your family will understand.”

  “What about your mom?” she asked.

  “What about her?”

  “She needs me.”

  “No she doesn’t,” I said. “She needs a good doctor and a few people she can manipulate, and you don’t need to be one of the latter anymore.”

  “I like her, though.”

  “I know, and if you don’t want to cut off all ties, I understand. But you have to stop pretending there’s anything between you and me.”

  She looked down at her clasped hands. “But I’m a terrible flirt, and I can never tell if guys are genuine. At least with you I never had to worry you were just after my money.”

  “There are worse problems to have Vic.”

  “Like what?” she asked.

  “Like being in love with someone and knowing that when you tell them, they might not believe you.”

  Chapter 31: Jolie

  I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so strung out, and if the look on Gia’s face when she saw me walk into the staff kitchen was anything to go by, I looked as bad as I felt.

  “Are you okay?” Her eyes glanced at the clock on the wall. “What are you even doing here?”

  “I need to talk to you before water aerobics.”

  “Really?” she asked. “You look like you should’ve chosen your beauty rest instead.”

  “Please,” I said, lowering my voice so as not to disturb the other early shifters. “In private.”

  She set the coffee pot back on its stand.

  “You should bring that,” I said.

  “But then there will only be decaf.”

  “Did I stutter?” I asked, my every blink scratching my dry eyes.

  Gia made replacing the coffee someone else’s problem while I grabbed a mug from the cupboard. Then she followed me to a far corner of the pool deck, which was deserted at such an early hour.

  “You’re freaking me out,” she sa
id, pouring me some coffee once we’d sat on a plastic lounge chair.

  “I’m freaking me out, too,” I said. “That’s why I’m here so early. So you can talk me down from this place.”

  “What happened?”

  “I need you to swear on your life that you’ll keep everything I tell you between us.”

  “My life isn’t worth much,” she said. “Would you rather I swear on Zac Efron’s life?”

  A smile broke through my face. It had been less than twelve hours since I let one out, but it felt like it had been so long my cheeks might crumble like dried plaster from moving that way. “As long as you respect that someone will die if you don’t keep the following to yourself.”

  “Fine,” she said. “Then I’ll swear on my life just in case because I feel like Zac Efron still has so much to give.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Can we stop talking about Zac for two seconds?”

  “Yeah, sorry. I just watched 17 Again last night and that movie always-”

  “I slept with Adam.”

  Her dark eyes grew wide. “Adam Adam?”

  I nodded.

  “That’s amazing! I knew you would come to your senses.”

  “Shh!” I looked over my shoulder. The pool area was still deserted apart from a lap swimmer that had slipped in the water undetected.

  “We should celebrate,” she whispered.

  “There won’t be any celebrating.”

  She furrowed her brows. “Why?”

  I stared over the dunes to where elderly couples walked hand in hand along the shore as young people with covetous bodies jogged past them in the warm morning sun. The image of Adam in his running shorts flashed through my mind.

  “Jolie.” Gia knocked her shoulder into mine. “Wake up.”

  “Sorry. What was I saying?”

  “You were trying to explain why we shouldn’t celebrate the fact that you got laid.”

  “Oh right.” I looked into my mug.

  “Was it not good or something?”

  “It’s not that,” I said, tucking some hair behind my ear. “It was amazing.”

  “It’s starting to sound like you should be telling your diary about it and not me.”

  “First of all, I don’t have a diary,” I said. “And second of all, the problem is that it was too good to be true.”

  “Did he go all porno on you or something?”

  My eyes grew wide.

  “I could see him being kinky behind closed doors.”

  “Jesus, Gia. What the hell? No. It’s nothing like that.”

  “So why isn’t this a happy story?”

  I sighed. “Because there’s someone else.”

  “What?” She craned her neck forward. “How could there be? He doesn’t even know anyone besides that one couple and the staff. Please tell me it’s not Debbie’s daughter. I knew that floozy was trouble.”

  “I wish it was a floozy.”

  “So who is it?” she asked.

  “Some rich girl from home who looks like she could be royalty compared to me.”

  “Okaaay.”

  “She showed up here with his mother last night.”

  Her mouth fell open.

  “And now they’re staying here.”

  Gia looked over her shoulder like we’d been dropped behind enemy lines.

  “So I’m essentially paralyzed with mortification.”

  “Did you meet them?” she asked, drinking from her mug.

  “Yeah. They were in the lobby when we got back from our date last night, and Adam was clearly freaked out, like he’d been caught in a web of lies.”

  “What did he do?”

  “Introduced me to them super awkwardly before I dismissed myself because I thought I was going to throw up.”

  “Did he come after you?” she asked. “Did he even try to explain?”

  I shook my head. “I feel like such a fool.”

  “You shouldn’t. It’s not your fault he lied to you.”

  “I should’ve listened to my gut,” I said. “I should’ve kept my wits about me instead of shitting on my own doorstep.”

  “You know I would key his car for you in any other situation, but they guy’s my boss and-”

  “I know. Don’t worry about it. I’m not interested in retaliating. If anything, that would only highlight what a naïve tool I am.”

  “You’re not a tool,” she said. “And you’re not the first woman on the planet who’s been lied to by a broad shouldered man with smoldering eyes.”

  I glared at her.

  “What?”

  “That’s not helping.”

  She scrunched her face. “Sorry. So now what?”

  “I just want to lay low as best I can. But if you catch me scowling at anyone or nothing, I need you to elbow me in the ribs.”

  “That I can do,” she said. “But I’m not sure you should even work today?”

  “I have to work. I have to keep up appearances.”

  “No you don’t,” she said. “You should take the day off. I’ll say you’re having lady problems or something.”

  “First of all, this is my job, not eighth grade gym class. Second of all, things went a little too far last night for that to be believable. And last but not least, I’m not having lady problems. I’m having man problems.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jolie. I thought he was different.”

  “Me too.”

  She scooted over and put her arm around me.

  I dropped my head on her shoulder. “I thought we could pick up where we left off. I actually let myself believe we were fated or something.”

  “I kind of thought you were, too,” she said. “But hey, look on the bright side.”

  I lifted my face. “What bright side?”

  “At least you found out what kind of guy he is sooner rather than later.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek.

  “So it’ll be easy to get over him now.”

  I dropped my head on her shoulder again, closed my eyes, and wished with everything that I actually believed that.

  Chapter 32: Adam

  I wheeled the breakfast trolley up to my mom’s door and knocked.

  She opened it with a smile, looking all made up like she’d been awake for ages with the morning newspaper hanging from one hand.

  “Hello, my darling,” she said, pressing her cheek to mine once I’d wheeled the trolley in. “I could’ve managed the buffet, you know? I’m not an invalid quite yet.”

  “It’s no trouble, Mom. Having you here is a treat for me, too.”

  “Will Victoria be joining us?” she asked, sitting on a cushioned chair while I laid out the plates.

  “No. Victoria went home.”

  Her eyes grew wide. “Pardon?”

  “I arranged for a car to take her to the airport this morning so she could catch the first flight back to New York.”

  “But I need her here.”

  “No you don’t,” I said, laying a napkin across her lap. “And I don’t want her here. She’s not my girlfriend anymore, and she’s never going to be my fiancée.”

  “But she knows all about my treatments and-”

  “She’s had enough,” I said, setting a plate of unsalted scrambled eggs down in front of her. “You’ve been taking advantage of her kindness and it’s not appropriate.”

  “But-”

  “I’ve arranged for a nurse to be on call for the rest of your visit, and she’ll accompany you back to New York when you’re ready.”

  She puckered her heavily lined lips. “This isn’t exactly turning into the warm welcome I was expecting.”

  “Well, you shouldn’t have come,” I said. “You know you’re not supposed to travel, and frankly, the way you spoke to Jolie last night really pissed me off.” I uncovered a cheesy omelet for myself.

  “What on Earth- who’s Jolie?”

  “The woman I was with last night.”

  “The staff member?”

  “This is her
hotel,” I said. “And the way you treated her was embarrassing for everyone.”

  “I thought it was your hotel,” she said, pouring herself a cup of tea. “Didn’t you buy it?”

  “It’s mine on paper, but it’s her hotel. It belonged to her parents back when we used to come here.”

  A light went on behind her eyes. “Ah yes, Jolie. I thought she looked familiar.” She waved a frail hand at me. “Do tell her I apologize then. I didn’t mean to offend anyone.”

  “You can apologize to her yourself,” I said. “And while you’re at it, you can tell her you didn’t mean any of the nonsense you spat last night about me and Victoria.”

  She dropped her chin and covered her chest with one hand. “I really don’t think I’m up to such a thing.”

  “Bullshit. If you can get on a plane just to come stick your nose in my business, you can suck it up and apologize to the woman I love.”

  “Well of course I’ll be apologizing to Victoria. You’ve obviously forgotten yourself in dismissing her so unceremoniously.”

  “Cut the crap, Mom. I’m not buying it anymore. You’re not the frail old lady you pretend to be, and you’re not a victim here.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “I gave it a shot with Victoria,” I said, taking a seat across from her. “Really, I did. I knew it was what you wanted, and I tried to make it work, but I don’t love her.” I pulled the cuffs of my white shirt down. “And she doesn’t love me either. So we’re not going to waste our time anymore.”

  “But all I ever wanted was for you to-”

  “Do exactly what you wanted. I know. But I can’t marry someone I don’t love. It’s not in me to do that. I know people who’ve settled and who’ve gone along with their parent’s wishes, and I admit some of them are happy.”

  Her mouth pursed like a drawstring pouch.

  “But I’m in love with someone else, and I have been since I was a teenager.”

  She raised a palm between us. “Please don’t tell me that working class girl I met last night is the woman you’re alluding to.”

  “It is.”

  She clutched her chest.

  I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the couch.

  “I hope you haven’t told her that yet.”

  “Actually, I haven’t. But I plan to very soon.”

  She shook her head and blinked slowly. “I understand if you want to have a fling with her, honey. I’ve lived long enough to know sometimes men have to do that sort of thing before they can settle down with someone appropriate, but have you considered the wide reaching implications it would have if you really wanted to be with a girl like that?”