Safeword: Matte - In Training

by Candace Blevins

  “Yes, and tomorrow — well, later today, he’ll be my husband.”

  “The idea of having all of these muscles, all of this strength, submit to me? It’s just too much.” Tara’s hands caressed their way up Sam’s arms and over her muscles, and rose to gently cup Sam’s cheeks as she continued, “I hope he’s worthy of your submission, Sugar.”

  “He is. I looked for someone strong enough to win my submission for years, and he’s my soul mate.” Sam reached for one of the hands on her cheek and brought it to her lips, kissed the side of Tara’s pointer finger, and threaded their fingers together as she lowered the hand to her lap. “Are you seeing anyone? Do you have a special little slave boy in your life?”

  “I have lots of little slave boys in my life, but none are the one. I’d love to exchange phone numbers with you, and maybe have lunch when you get back from your honeymoon. I can always use more girlfriends who can accept me for who I am.” Her smile was genuine, but her eyes a little sad.

  “You’re not walking an easy road, are you? I’d be happy to be your friend.”

  They were exchanging phone numbers when Kirsten walked up. “Tara, I see you’re making friends with Sam. Remember the self-defense class I recommended a few months ago? Sam was the teacher.”

  “Well.” Tara’s eyes lit up as she mused, “Maybe I’ll manage to make it to her next class, then.”

  Sam went on instant alert. “You’ve had people messing with you, so you need to learn to defend yourself?”

  “It’s not as bad now as it was,” Tara said dismissively. “The hormones have done their job, and most people just think I’m a tall woman and don’t realize I was once a man. The voice was the final piece.” Her smile was sad. “When men are turned on to you, and you open your mouth and sound like a man, it challenges their heterosexuality, makes them wonder about themselves, and they almost always took their anger out on me.”

  “Well, if you like, Ethan and I can give you a private class when we get back, because it’ll be a few months before I teach another basic self-defense class.”

  “Your Ethan…he’ll be okay with me?”

  “We’ve never discussed transgender people specifically, but I’ve never seen him treat gay men as if he had a problem with them. If I don’t think he’ll be able to treat you as a normal human being then I’ll give you a class without him, but I don’t think he’ll have an issue.” She looked to Kirsten for affirmation.

  “I can’t imagine him having a problem with you,” Kirsten said to Tara. “He’s a serious sadist and an imposing Dom; he doesn’t exactly fit into society’s mold, either.”

  Tara looked pained as her eyes flitted back to Sam. “So you really are a masochist? Oh, it’s just too much.” She laughed but then looked curious and just a little feral. “Who’s the hottie keeping his eyes on the two of you? I’m not imagining it, did your fiancé send you with a minder?”

  Sam followed Tara’s gaze and saw Kent, but Kirsten saved her from having to answer. “Oh, that’s Kent, and he’s here because I hired him. No one wanted to be designated driver, so I hired a limo and driver, and made sure his own orientation would let him be comfortable here.”

  “So, if he’s working I guess he can’t come play with me? What can you tell me about him?”

  “He’s bisexual, and I’m pretty sure he’s submissive,” Sam answered with a grin.

  “Yep,” Kirsten agreed, “he’s out of the closet about his sexuality, but he tries to keep the other bodyguards from finding out he’s submissive.”

  “Bodyguard?” Tara seemed more and more interested. “I thought you said he was your driver?”

  “I’m friends with someone who owns a security agency, and most of their bodyguards are licensed to drive a limo, so they can do double duty for the clients who need minimal security.”

  Sam laughed. “What she’s not telling you is one of the ladies in our party is married to a bodyguard, and he also seems to have had some input as to who is driving us around.”

  “True,” Kirsten said. “Sometimes I’m surprised Travis lets Viv out of the house to go to work.”

  Tara stood. “Well, I’m going to talk to your hottie bodyguard for a minute.” Her eyes met Sam’s. “I hope you call me when you get back from your honeymoon. If you want to give me some self-defense pointers I won’t turn it down, but mostly I just want to have lunch and talk.”

  Sam nodded. “We’ll be gone for three weeks, so don’t think I’ve forgotten about you when you don’t hear from me for a while. Give me a goodbye kiss; we’ll just be friends the next time we meet.”

  Tara’s kiss didn’t disappoint, and Sam found herself glaring at Kirsten’s smile when Tara finally walked away. “Get the shit-eating grin off of your face,” she said with a laugh, pulling her friend along as she walked back towards the throbbing music. “Come on. I need a drink.”

  The club closed at three, and the women didn’t leave until the lights came on and the music turned off. Sam lost track of how much she’d had to drink, but was sure it was way more than she’d had in years.

  Kent had tons of patience with the women as he herded them across the parking lot, into the limo, and made sure everyone was okay.

  Limbs were intermingled so Sam wasn’t sure which body parts belonged to whom, but she didn’t really care. They were all tired, happy, and relaxed as they lay over and across each other.

  “I’ll turn the air up, but if anyone feels sick as we start moving let me know. You can sit up front with me if you think it’ll help.

  “I’ll take you up on the offer now,” said Viv as she dropped to hands and knees and crawled to the door. Kent smiled as he helped her stand, and Sam suppressed her own grin as she noticed how easily her friend crawled, as if she’d had tons of practice.

  “If no one needs to be home by a certain time, I’ll drop Viv off first, then.”

  No one protested, and as they started moving Heather said, “Wow, can Sam dance, or what? They usually make the encore with an audience member kind of short, but they drew it out tonight. You were great, Sam.”

  “I only hope I don’t end up on YouTube or something. I was just buzzed enough to enjoy it, without being too uptight about the spectators. But I figured no one in the audience was truly vanilla, even if they aren’t kinky they aren’t exactly following society’s norms, so I didn’t stress over it too much.”

  “What was up with you and the hot blonde?” asked Cassie. “I didn’t know you went both ways.”

  Sam saw curiosity and not disapproval, and she smiled as she said, “I’ve experimented around with girls a little and decided I like guys, but Tara was…different. As it turns out, she only likes guys, too, and was just as confused by her attraction to me. We exchanged phone numbers and we’re going to have lunch when I get back from my honeymoon. I’ll have to run it by Ethan, of course, but I don’t think he’ll have an issue with her.”

  Sam looked towards the opened window and her eyes met Kent’s in the rear view mirror. “She seemed especially interested in our bodyguard, though. Did you get her number, Kent?”

  He shook his head but Kirsten piped up with, “No, but I could see he was interested even though he’s not supposed to be when he’s on the clock, so I gave her his number.”

  Sam laughed. “Not that you’d ever find a way to skirt the rules though. Right?”

  When they finally made it to the end of Viv’s long-assed driveway Sam was surprised to see so many vehicles, and laughed as she realized this must be where the bachelor party ended up. “Should I be worried the guys partied where there happens to be a convenient dungeon in the basement?”

  Cassie’s eyes bulged as her head swung to look at Viv. “You have a dungeon in your basement?”

  “Of course not,” said Kirsten. “It’s just a dark room, kind of a man-cave. Someone nicknamed it the dungeon and it just kind of stuck.”

  The front door opened and Travis came towards them as Viv stepped from the front passenger seat. He hu
gged his wife, eyeballed her to be sure she was okay, and stuck his head in the door to talk to the rest of the women. “I trust everyone had fun?” His eyes landed on Sam. “Anything you’d like me to tell your husband-to-be?”

  “Let him know I’m safe, and headed home. How’s he doing? Anything he asked you to tell me?”

  Tyler smiled. “Just that he managed to drink himself sober and can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

  When the limo reached Sam’s house, Kent walked Sam and Kirsten inside, made sure they were okay, and kissed both on the cheek before leaving to take the rest of the women home.

  Kirsten insisted they both drink two glasses of vitamin and electrolyte fortified sports drink with two ibuprofen before they headed upstairs.

  “I’m going to pee all night now,” Sam grumbled as the women helped each other up the steps.

  “I bet you don’t, but even if you do, it’ll be worth it to not be hung over for your wedding.”

  “Yeah, Yeah. We have to be quiet so we don’t wake my houseguests. I’m sorry I don’t have a guest room for you.”

  “Not a problem, you have a big bed and I’m not worried about you ravaging me in my sleep.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sam awoke to an empty bed the next morning, and smiled when her eyes focused on the thermos with a sticky note proclaiming “Orange Juice” on the side.

  She grabbed it on the way to the bathroom, set it on the vanity as she walked by, and went straight to the toilet. She hadn’t awakened in the middle of the night to pee, and had to go so bad now it almost hurt.

  The art deco clock over her bathtub was only a minute hand, with no hour hand and no numbers, as she almost always knew the hour when in the bathroom, and only needed to keep track of the minutes. This morning, however, she had no idea of the time, and she peed longer than the opening scene in A League of Their Own.

  When she finally stood, she reached for the orange juice and was amazed it felt so good going down. She wasn’t hung over, exactly, but she felt off, and hoped she had time for a good workout to sweat everything out before she had to get ready.

  She moved into the bedroom to check the time and breathed a sigh of relief to see it was a little after one o’clock. She’d slept around eight hours, and had almost two hours before she needed to be at the Read House.

  Her cellphone was still on her night table, and she looked to see if she’d missed anything, since she’d shut both sound and vibration off before going to sleep.

  She texted Ethan and Kirsten back to let them know she was awake, but didn’t respond to anyone else’s texts. Her mom had left a voice mail asking her to call when she was awake, so she texted Kirsten again, and asked her to let her mom know she was up and working out.

  In quick order she pulled her hair into a ponytail, brushed her teeth, and headed downstairs to work out.

  Forty-five minutes later she felt like a new person as she showered and washed her hair. She wasn’t sure where her houseguests were, but was secretly happy to have had the house to herself a few hours before walking into the chaos at the hotel.

  She dried her hair and put it in hot rollers, slathered her body in raw shea butter, and touched up her shaving job in a few places.

  Tara had said she wasn’t soft; did Ethan miss having the softness of a normal woman when he held her? Sam hadn’t thought of it before, but was it possible she felt more like a man than a woman when he held her? No, she had breasts, even though they weren’t as big as Tara’s, and she was slender and wiry, not all beefy like a male weightlifter. Still, her arms and shoulders showed definition, and her stomach and legs were cut.

  “Face it,” she told the mirror. “Tara is more of a woman than you are.”

  Shaking her head at her naked reflection in the mirror, she asked, “Where is this coming from? This is who I am, and if Ethan didn’t like it he wouldn’t have asked me to spend the rest of our lives together. Good for Tara for being the kind of woman she wants to be, and good for me for figuring out how to be a strong woman without feeling the need to turn myself into a man.”

  “Not that there’s anything wrong with Tara feeling the need to—” She stopped mid-sentence and rolled her eyes. “Shit, must be wedding nerves; I’m explaining myself to myself.”

  She’d eaten watermelon and honeydew melon during and after her workout, and now she dressed and went to the kitchen to make an omelet, as she’d need the protein to get her through the ceremony.

  Kirsten and her mom arrived as she was eating, and she was more grateful than ever she didn’t have a hangover headache. Her mom seemed as nervous as a dozen brides.

  “I’m glad you have your hair in rollers, but you haven’t even started on your makeup! How long did you work out? And why did you feel the need to work out on your wedding day, of all days!?”

  “Mom, working out relaxes me. I want to enjoy my wedding day and not stress over everything. I can do that in part because I know you’ve taken care of all of the details for me, so thank you for that.”

  Her mom took a breath and was quiet a few moments before saying, “You’re welcome. Even though I don’t really understand your relationship with Ethan, and you’ll get upset with me for saying I’m happy you have someone to take care of you, I’m still happy for you. I want you to be happy, and I want today to be perfect for you.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” She turned to Kirsten. “I hope you got enough sleep?”

  “Yeah, I’d barely pulled into my own driveway when you texted me, so I got almost as much as you. I’ll go on up and plug the curling iron in and get ready for you, come up when you’re ready for me to do your hair.”

  Kirsten dropped Sam and her mom off at the door of the Read House before she searched for parking, and Sam’s mom herded her through back hallways and into her dressing room.

  “Kirsten tells me someone named Jacob is going to come do your makeup?”

  “Yes, and if you can’t be nice to him it might be better for you to leave while he’s in here. He’s bisexual, but he acts kind of gay and I don’t want you hurting his feelings.”

  “How did you meet this man?”

  “It’s a long story, Mom.” Sam sighed as she realized her mother would need more of an explanation. “He’s kind of seeing one of my good friends. He’s a make-up artist in Nashville, and works on the country music stars. He’s very good.”

  Her mother opened her mouth and Sam cut her off, “Mom, I know you don’t like last minute stuff, and you don’t know him and don’t think he should be in my dressing room, but please just go with it? Please?”

  “Will Ethan want another man in your dressing room?”

  “I haven’t asked him, but he knows Jacob and won’t have a problem with it. I promise, Mom. I’m not doing anything he’ll take issue with.”

  Her mother gave an exaggerated sigh and fluttered her hands, and Sam changed the conversation while she could. “Kirsten will see Ethan when she takes my overnight bag up to the room. Do you need her to take anything up, or relay anything to him?”

  Her mom shook her head as someone knocked on the door before opening it a crack and saying, “Everyone decent? I have Jacob.”

  “Come on in, Dana. Jacob, this is my mother, Martha. Mom, this is Jacob.”

  Her mom gave a pleasant enough greeting before moving away and fiddling with the bouquet.

  “You’re glowing,” said Jacob. “I was worried you’d be hung over, but you look fresh as a daisy.”

  Viv and Kirsten came in while Jacob applied Sam’s makeup, and before long the room was full of bridesmaids. Viv and Kirsten changed in front of Jacob without thinking about it, and Sam’s mom gave disapproving glares but kept her mouth shut. Cassie walked around a corner and quickly changed, but Jacob was oblivious as he worked on Sam and gave her one hundred percent of his attention.

  “You’re used to high-strung country music stars, aren’t you?”

  “Sure,” he smiled. “It may not be my job to keep them calm, but my ability
to do so while I make them beautiful assures their manager thinks of me first the next time.”

  When he finished, even her mom seemed to approve, but she rushed him and Dana out quickly, saying it was time to get Sam into her wedding gown.

  Sam didn’t point out they’d all seen each other naked already, just smiled conspiratorially at Dana and Jacob as she thanked them and told them she’d see them later.

  Her mom had timed things so there’d be no down time, and as soon as everyone was ready Sam was ushered into another room with a beautiful church-like backdrop for the women to pose in front of. As soon as the photographer was done the women were ushered into another hallway, and before Sam knew it the wedding march was playing and her father walked her into a room full of people.

  Everyone stood and looked at her, but all she saw was Ethan, waiting for her. She’d seen herself in a full-length mirror in the hallway, and thought she might be pulling off the whole feminine thing. Kirsten had pulled her hair up with soft curls spilling out, and Jacob had done miracles with her makeup. She looked more like a Samantha than the hard-cased divorce attorney named Sam, and she could see the appreciation in Ethan’s face when he saw her.

  Perhaps she’d try to do this every once in a while for him, on special occasions. If he liked it.

  But as she neared the love of her life all thoughts fled, and it was as if he was the only man in the room. Her father placed her hand in Ethan’s, and his warmth grounded her and brought the rest of the room back into focus.

  Sam floated through the ceremony as if she were in a dream, with their friends and family watching, the pastor’s calming voice, and Ethan’s steady strength. They were taking this step together, a huge leap of faith.

  Ethan had a little trouble getting her ring on, and it made her feel a little better to see him as overwhelmed as she felt.

  When Kirsten handed Ethan’s ring to her, Sam hugged her and whispered, “Thank you so much for everything.”

  The ring went onto Ethan’s finger easily, and Sam leaned to kiss his hand. Today wasn’t about her submission, but it felt right, so she did. The look in his eyes told her he understood, and when the pastor told him he could kiss his bride, he started with a tender, husbandly kiss; but then bent her backwards and kissed her breathless. Sam heard her mom gasp in horror just before their friends whooped and clapped, but she didn’t care. This was right — Ethan claiming her in front of their friends and family.