by Sable Hunter
“My God, are you all right?” Tanner exclaimed. “Is that why you have trouble sleeping?”
An uneasy feeling came over Desiree. “I’m not addled, if that’s what you think. They say my problems are the result of a chemical reaction in my brain to the anesthesia.”
Frowning, Tanner corrected her. “Don’t put words in my mouth. I said no such thing. Did they catch him?”
“No.” She shook her head, adding nothing else.
“How many people know you’re here?” Tanner continued to ask questions, clearly concerned.
She could tell what he was thinking. “No one knows my exact location. I called my manager, so he has my number as of today. My assistant already has the number, mainly because the bought the burner phone for me. Besides, she doesn’t get on my nerves quite as much as he does.” She grinned at the thought. “We put out a bogus story that I’m in New York and we canceled several appearances.” Her voice trailed off. “Honestly, I haven’t been the same since the surgery. My therapist wanted to put me on antidepressants, but I refused. I don’t think more drugs are the answer. I dread taking them, yet I dread not being able to sleep without them. That and the lingering fear from the attack has given me panic attacks.”
“It sounds like you’re experiencing a form of post-traumatic stress disorder.” Tanner observed dryly, almost to himself. “What were you prescribed?” he asked gently, not liking the idea she was taking anything – especially after his experience with his father. Not a day passed that Tanner didn’t think of him. Raymond Barron had been dead for four years, killed in prison by another inmate. Drugs, even prescription ones, were never a good idea.
“Xanax, just one a day, and Trazadone to help me sleep. The rest of what I take is herbal.” She didn’t know why she was confessing to him. If he chose to use the information against her, he could sell what she’d told him to the tabloids for a pretty penny.
She was surprised when Tanner stood and walked over to her. “Your hair is darker.” He gently ran his hand over the top of her head. “I don’t like to think of you hurting.”
“They shaved my head, it grew back one color.” Desiree wanted to lean into him so bad she could taste it. “Can you believe I thought of you while it was happening? You weren’t there to save me this time.”
“I wish I could’ve been there.” Tanner spoke lowly. “He wouldn’t be walking around free now, I can promise you that.”
She coughed and sat up straighter. The conversation was heading into territory she didn’t know how to handle. “It just seemed to me that if I could get away from Tennessee and get off that dang tour bus for a while, I might be able to feel like myself again. Normal.”
“Well, let’s make it happen.” Wanting to see her smile, he returned to his seat. “Let’s finish this good soup and then I want you to ride with me to find a tree. I think we could use a little bit of Christmas cheer.”
A sudden rush of joy bubbled up inside of her. “Okay, that sounds like fun.” The idea of spending a little time with Tanner at Christmas sounded like just what she needed. “Mrs. Foster tells me you are in search and rescue.”
Tanner ate a spoonful of soup before answering slowly. “Well, I was a tracker. I might be retiring; I don’t think I’m as effective as I used to be.”
“How so?” She couldn’t stop looking at him. He was big, powerful – heck, his muscles had muscles. But now that she knew he was her white knight, she felt safe with him…among other things.
He shook his head as if to dispel the thought. “I’d rather think about something more pleasant.” Smiling, he gestured toward her with his spoon. “Like you. You’ve had quite a career since you left Austin all those years ago.”
Desiree sighed. “Yea, I have. I’m grateful, but it’s been…hard sometimes. Lonely. I’m pushed and pulled, treated more like a commodity than a talent.” She folded her hands in her lap to keep from reaching out to him. “The tours are the worst. Long bus rides, traveling with people who depend on me for their living. I felt so guilty when I had to cancel part of this last one, but soon it became impossible to stay on the bus and I didn’t feel safe in a hotel room for fear Stark would show up.”
“Why don’t you have a bodyguard?”
Shrugging, Desiree propped her chin on her hand and looked at him. “I had one when I was attacked, I guess he got careless. I have a new firm lined up for when I go back. Since I pulled a disappearing act for Christmas, if I can lay low and stay out of the tabloids, he won’t have a clue where I am. Coming here is my last chance before I admit myself to some clinic where they’ll hook me up to monitors and make me sleep inside…” She stopped, then laughed. “I sound crazy, don’t I?”
Tanner’s heart hurt for her. “No, you’ve been through something harrowing, your body and mind are seeking a safe place.” Inhaling deep as if drawing on courage from within, he laid his hand atop hers. “Let me be that sanctuary you need. You can trust me. While you’re here, let me shelter you so you can rest.”
Her whole body tingled at the thought. She longed to throw her arms around Tanner and cling to him, allowing him to bear her burdens and calm her fears. The only thing that held her back was not really knowing what he was offering. Rescuing people was his business. Second nature to him.
“You’re asking me for a job?”
“Hell, no.” Tanner found himself feeling offended. “I don’t need another job. I’m offering…” Afraid he was about to put his foot in his mouth, he shut it.
She gave him a tremulous smile. “I’m not sure the package I booked merits the extra perks.”
Tanner gave her a sexy wink. “You let me worry about my package.”
Desiree blushed, her mind going places it shouldn’t.
“Are you ready to go get the tree?” He stood and picked up both of their bowls.
“Yes!” She bounded up, feeling anticipation for the first time in quite a while.
“Why don’t you pack an overnight bag and bring it with you. We’ll go back to my cabin to put up the tree and then we’ll have a slumber party.”
“Oh!” She whirled around to face him. “What do you mean?”
“What do you think I mean? You’ll be spending the night at my place.”
His playful expression reassured her. “Oh, do you have a chaise lounge on your porch and an electric blanket to spare?”
“Better.” He rinsed out the soup bowls while she put the leftovers in a plastic container. “I have a fireplace on my patio. We’ll stay toasty and warm all night long.”
Desiree didn’t know which was more enticing – the idea of the warm fire or the thought of being close to him while she slept. “I’ll hurry,” she said, as she left the room to gather her things with a spring in her step.
As soon as she was out of the room he did a fist pump. “I knew I’d been a good boy this year.” As soon as he said it, the elation faded when he recalled the child he’d failed to find. He didn’t deserve a shot at happiness.
Oh well, Desiree would probably break his heart – again.
And maybe that was just what he deserved.
* * *
“Hold on tight,” Tanner said as he grasped the handlebars of the bulky four-wheeler.
“Yes, sir,” she replied. What he asked was no hardship whatsoever. With a smile that she hid in the warmth of the jacket covering his broad back, she slid her arms around his waist and placed her open palms on the rippled abs just above his belt buckle. Right now they were covered up, but she had no problem recalling exactly how they looked.
Tanner almost groaned aloud. His cock swelled. The woman of his fantasies was wrapped around him like a sweet clinging vine and he wouldn’t have traded the sensation for all the tea in China.
Desiree gasped as he took off, giving her reason to hold him even tighter. “We’re going fast!”
She could feel the rumble of laughter in his chest. “No we’re not, doodlebug. You’re safe with me,” he shouted over his shoulder. She peeped
up to see where they were going and saw he’d headed down a small dirt road that led over a slight hill.
Slowing down, he spoke. “I have to open this gate and we’ll go down in the pasture where I saw some cedars with a nice shape.”
Once he’d come to a full stop, she jumped off. “I’ll get it.”
Tanner gave her an approving smile. “You’d make a good partner.”
She beamed at his approval as she loosened the latch and held the gate wide. When he’d passed through, she moved to the inside and refastened it. Turning around, it was to come face to face with a very large cow. “Tanner!”
He chuckled. “Just give her a rub. She’s harmless. Her name is Elsie.”
“Hello, Elsie.” She petted the large bovine between her big brown eyes. “She sure is fat.” Desiree eyed how wide the cow appeared to be, wider than some of the others standing near.
Tanner snorted. “For shame. Elsie’s going to have a baby.”
Desiree laughed, bowing slightly to the big bovine who didn’t appear to be offended. “My apologies.” When she just kept chewing her cud, Desire stepped gingerly away, climbing back on the four-wheeler and resuming her position. Having him in her arms could prove to be addictive.
“I think I could get used to you riding behind me.” Tanner couldn’t help but admit. He could feel the soft pillows of her breasts pressing against him. This was turning out to be a helluva Christmas.
Once they topped the hill, a vista Desiree hadn’t been expecting lay before her. Cattle and horses dotted the valley below. Noble pines graced the pasture which was planted in some type of winter grass for the stock to graze on. A jewel of a pond lay nestled among the trees. “This is beautiful,” she whispered in his ear.
His response was to place his hand over hers. When he did, he realized how cold her hands were. He could feel the chill through his gloves. “You need a keeper, girl. Put your hands in my pockets.”
To do as he asked, she had to feel around on him until she found the openings. Once she had them tucked tight in the padded material, they felt much better. She laid her head on his back and sighed in contentment.
Tanner liked the way she felt leaning against him. He was tempted to just ride aimlessly around, enjoying the closeness. Knowing he was nearing their goal, he turned the ATV to the right and headed toward a small grove of evergreens. When he pulled to a stop, he stood and helped Desiree get safely to her feet on the slightly slick ground. “When we get home, we’ll get you good and warm. I’ll make hot chocolate to drink while we decorate the tree.”
“Sounds heavenly,” she admitted with a grin. The temperature wasn’t near freezing, but the wind filtering through the trees was enough to chill her to the bone. Her eyes followed him as he took a hack saw from a rack on the back of the four-wheeler. He was so different than the men she was used to being around. He was hard where they were soft. They might have musical talent, but he had life experience and a seeming ability to do just about anything. “How big of a tree are we looking for?”
“At least an eight-footer I think. My partner’s wife, Cassie, gave me a whole box of ornaments.” He winked at Desiree. “She’s crafty in more ways than one. Maybe you could meet them while you’re here. They’re good people.”
Desiree smiled without replying. Meeting new people hadn’t been part of her plan. But neither had going on a Christmas tree hunting excursion with a sexy man. Deciding just to go with the flow, she accepted his extended hand as they started down a path to choose a tree. “I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. Usually I’m on the road at this time of year. I can’t remember the last time I had a tree.”
“I haven’t had too many myself.” Tanner didn’t plan on telling her his hard luck story. “We can travel into new territory together.”
After much discussion and an equal amount of laughter, they settled on one. Desiree couldn’t remember having so much fun in a long time. She was entranced to find how much dry wit Tanner displayed. He was sharp and funny – not to mention totally kissable. She found herself staring at his mouth more often than she intended, hopefully he hadn’t noticed. “What’s your favorite Christmas memory?” Desiree found herself asking out of the blue.
Tanner busied himself, securing the tree on the small trailer behind the ATV. There was no way he was telling her about his sorry childhood. Hell, most years, Raymond hadn’t even realized when the holidays rolled around. Providing his son with a tree, presents, or good memories hadn’t been on his to-do list. “I remember hearing an angel sing at the soup kitchen downtown. Between you and the pumpkin pie, it was a day I won’t ever forget.”
Stunned, Desiree stared at him. “I remember that day. You were there? I don’t recall seeing you.”
“I’m not surprised. I’ve never been that easy on the eye.” Tanner avoided pointing out that he’d been a teenager. No wonder he hadn’t made an impression.
Was he kidding? “You are a very handsome man,” Desiree stated, then blushed at her boldness. She’d never been so aware of a man in her life.
Like a small boy, Tanner kicked one of the tires, doing anything to avoid making some dumb fool move. Desiree thought he was handsome? “Let’s get back, we’ve got some work to do before we go to bed.”
Now, it was Desiree’s turn to not know what to say. She knew he didn’t mean it the way it sounded – but that didn’t prevent a thrill from sending frissons of excitement all over her body.
–CHAPTER FOUR–
There are moments in life one should encapsulate in amber, or press between the pages of a book so they can be preserved and relived over and over again. This is how Desiree felt about the time she spent with Tanner. He prepared sandwiches and big steaming mugs of cocoa for them. They laughed and talked about everything they could think of – from politics to movies. Decorating the tree had been a case study in compromise. Who would’ve thought the man would be such a perfectionist? “I swear, the next thing you’re going to do is measure the distance between your balls,” she drawled as he repositioned several ornaments to achieve the perfect effect.
Tanner almost choked. The little doll didn’t even realize what she’d said. “I think I’d rather you did that,” he murmured dryly.
The moment she realized the double entendre, she whacked him on the arm with a piece of garland. “This is fun.”
Tanner studied her beautiful face. “Sometimes it’s the simple things in life we enjoy the most.”
He was right. “People think my life is glamorous, but I’ve paid a pretty high price for what I’ve achieved.” She thought of her lonely house, the lack of real relationships – romantic or otherwise. “I’m surrounded by people who are more vested in my career than they are in me.”
Tanner reached out a hand to touch her, thought better of it and let his hand drop. Right now, she was his guest, a woman in need. He’d committed to giving her whatever help he could, not set out to seduce her. “I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure they love you.” How could they not?
She watched as he plugged in the tree. “I’m glad you have colored lights. I think all white lights are boring.”
“Really? I thought all rich people preferred white lights.” Tanner teased as he surveyed their handiwork. The ornaments were all handmade and old-fashioned – Santa figures, snowmen, reindeer and wreaths.
“I’m not ‘most rich people’” Desiree informed him, raising her chin in the air.
Tanner knew she wasn’t. “I’ve heard about your philanthropy. That’s just one of the many things I admire about you.” Considering he’d laid the subject to rest, he glanced back at the tree. “I like it. We did a good job.” Going to the wall, he flipped a switch, leaving only the tree glowing in the darkened room.
After he’d dimmed the lights, the familiar dread crept up on Desiree like a stalking tiger. She shivered, rubbed her arms and tried to think of something else. Here she was in the presence of a handsome, sexy man. If anything could distract her from her nervous st
ate – he should be the answer.
“What’s wrong?” Tanner could see the unease on her face. “You know you have nothing to fear from me. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world.”
His soft, yet rock-solid, reassurance helped. “I know. Believe me, if I weren’t here, I’d already be pacing the floor. You’re giving me something to think about other than that I’m alone and afraid to go to sleep.”
Tanner walked up to her, placing a big strong hand on each of her shoulders. “You’re not alone tonight. Do you think you’ll be able to sleep in my guest room or here on the couch?” he paused watching her reaction. “Or would you rather I built a fire out on the patio?” Then, he smiled. “I have a better idea. Come with me.”
She let him take her hand and lead her through the kitchen and into a glassed in porch area. “Look, this is the best of both worlds. We can have the heater, electric blankets, and open a window to boot.”
Desiree took it all in. “This is an old fashioned sleeping porch. I’ve heard of these.” There was a bed, a big bed, and all of the windows were floor to ceiling glass. She could even see the stars high above the treetops.
“I’ll give you the bed and I’ll take this recliner here.” He patted the big leather chair sitting next to the bed.
“You don’t have to sleep in the recliner, let me do that.” She thought she might even like it better.
“Let’s start you off in the bed and see how that works,” Tanner coaxed.
“I have to take my pills first.” She turned to move toward the small bag she’d packed for the night.
“Can I see?”
Desiree hesitated, but something told her she could trust him. Holding out the small bag, she showed him the combination that provided her with a chance at the elusive elixir of sleep.
“Well, that’s a baby Xanax dose.” He picked up a box. “And this is herbal, and this is over the counter.” Laying them down, he asked. “Do you take all of these at one time?”