by Sable Hunter
“I think the less you worry about it, the easier it will be.” Tanner offered.
She let the wisdom of his words sink in. Maybe he was right. Feeling normal and conquering the insomnia had become such a focus in her life that she was experiencing something akin to performance anxiety over it all. “Okay, I’ll try.”
Tanner cleared his throat, hoping to convince her to spend the day with him. And the night. And the next day… “Tomorrow we can go caroling in my horse drawn buggy.” When she looked skeptical, he hurried to explain. “We’ll wrap a big ole scarf around your neck, no one will realize they’re being serenaded by the great Desiree Holt.” Standing up, he set his plate on a nearby table. He was getting a little ahead of himself. “As for what I’m doing today. I wondered if you’d accompany me to Bowie and Cassie’s for a holiday meal. They’ll protect your privacy.” Suddenly he wanted to experience everything the season had to offer.
“Sounds wonderful, but are you sure your friends want a stranger showing up on their doorsteps at Christmas?”
Okay, he’d have to show his hand a bit – but, it’d be worth it. “You were specifically invited.” When she appeared confused, he confessed. “Of course I recognized you the first night, and I told my best friend you were here. He – uh – knew about our previous connection.”
Desiree stood, picking up her tray. “And he assumed we’d be celebrating Christmas together?” She wasn’t upset, she was just trying to understand.
“Well, let’s say Bowie was being overly optimistic. I didn’t expect the opportunity, but I’m glad I have the chance to invite you.” He reached out a hand for her. “How about it?”
The expectant look on his handsome face convinced her. “Okay, it’s a date.” A date? “Well, I didn’t mean…” She didn’t want him to think. “I mean…” God, she didn’t know what she meant.
Tanner sighed. “I know it’s not a date.” She probably dated men as rich and famous as she was. But those same would-be suitors had managed to make her feel uncertain about her appeal. So while he could, he would spoil her within an inch of her life. “I just think it will make us feel better.” As he spoke, trying to convince Desiree, it hit him that he wasn’t dwelling on his own guilt as much when he was around her. “Maybe we’ll be good for each other.”
After helping Tanner in the kitchen, she changed clothes. “I think I’ll go back to the cabin. I want to wash my hair and decide what to wear tonight.” She also wanted to jot down some new lyrics to a song that was running through her head.
“Okay, I’ll take you home.” He’d rather have kept her with him, but truth be told – there were some things he wanted to do. Tanner had a crazy plan to brighten up the days she’d be at Lost Pines – all 12 of them. What he needed now was a little time to head to town to do some shopping. He also wanted to call and tell the Malone’s they were taking them up on their offer for dinner and ask Cassie to put aside a few things for his 12-day gift-a-thon for Desiree. His best friend’s wife made amazing lotions and beautiful candles in her home-based business.
“I could walk.” Desiree offered, even as he held his arm out to escort her to his truck. “It’s not far.”
“I’m aware of the distance,” he winked at her. “And you have to be aware that I enjoy your company and will claim every moment of it I can.”
Desiree blushed. “I’m glad, I enjoy you too.” The ride was too short in her estimation, but the knowledge she’d be seeing him later made it all okay. “What time should I be ready?”
“The Malone’s live near Bandera, so let’s leave about four.”
“Okay, that will give us time to stop for a hostess gift.” She informed him. “We can’t go to someone’s house for dinner and not take something to show our appreciation.”
Tanner smiled, her use of the word ‘we’ and ‘our’ had his heart rat-a-tatting in his chest. “We certainly wouldn’t want to commit any social faux pas.”
Desiree giggled, realizing he was teasing her. “No, we wouldn’t.”
Stopping in front of her cabin, Tanner had to grip the steering wheel to keep from pulling her close for a kiss. “I’ll see you in a few hours. I’ve got a few errands to run in town. Do you need anything?”
“No, thank you. I’m good.” Desiree held his gaze as she climbed from his truck, realizing this was first time she’d really looked forward to something in a long time. “And I can’t wait until tonight.”
–CHAPTER FIVE–
During the day a cold front moved in. The elusive promise of a white Christmas became a reality. Desiree stood at the window and watched fat flakes fall from the sky. No stranger to snow, where she lived in Tennessee received far more frozen precipitation than central Texas. While she could certainly appreciate the beauty, the drop in temperature made her thankful Tanner had made it abundantly clear she was welcome to continue sleeping on his sun porch. She’d have to consider building a room like that at her own home.
Tanner called once to tell her he’d confirmed the invitation with his friends. Desiree had been in the kitchen making loaves of pumpkin bread. If they picked up a bottle of wine, this would be the perfect pairing. “I didn’t bring party clothes,” she told him.
“This isn’t a party, Des. Think family dinner. I can promise everyone will be dressed in comfortable clothes. Besides, I know for a fact you’re beautiful in anything you wear.”
Desiree found herself unable to respond. She was still trying to wrap her head around how good he was being to her, and how easy she’d fallen asleep the night before. “You’re spoiling me,” she voiced a truth easy to admit. She wanted to be spoiled, but not with gifts or money. She wanted to be spoiled with time, attention and kisses.
“Good. You deserve it.” Tanner hung up and counted the minutes until he could be with her again.
True to her word, Desiree sat down at the kitchen table and wrote a few lines of a song. Destiny.
I never believed in destiny
I never dared to dream
Until you came back into my life. . .
The impact of her own words hit her like a bolt of lightning. What was she doing? Here she was, grabbing onto him like he was a miracle drug. The ease with which she’d fallen asleep, the rest she’d found in his home was probably a fluke. And the memory of him holding and kissing her was probably due to the drugs she was taking – a fantasy, not a reality. They lived completely different lives in opposite ends of the country. The fact that their paths had crossed again was…
Destiny.
Desiree jumped up when the timer on the oven went off. After removing the fragrant bread from the loaf pan, she checked the clock. It was time to get ready. The anticipation she felt at seeing Tanner again overrode the familiar feeling of dismay as the sun dipped behind the trees.
In no time at all, she was dressed. After much deliberation, she’d settled on a pair of black slacks and a red cashmere sweater. The soft material felt good against her skin. Desiree didn’t spend much time in front of the mirror, the ordeal she’d been through over the past few months made her look as tired as she felt. Most said she looked nowhere near her age, some even claimed she could pass for her twenties. Desiree knew they were pulling her leg. While she took good care of herself, no one stayed young forever.
For a moment she wondered how old Tanner was, she hadn’t asked – of course. He was mature, capable and made her feel safe. Surely they were close to the same age. She didn’t give it more than a fleeting thought before hearing the noise of a truck pulling up out front. He was here!
With wings on her heels, Desiree didn’t give him time to even get out, much less come to the door. Grabbing the foil-wrapped pumpkin bread, she ran out to meet him.
He’d barely got stopped before Desiree was at the door and climbing inside. “Hey!”
“Hey, yourself. I was planning on coming to collect you at your door, all proper like,” he informed her with a slight frown.
“No need.” She placed her gift on the
floor and fastened her seat belt.
Tanner wanted to lean over and give her a kiss hello, but he didn’t. He still wasn’t sure what they were doing exactly. Knowing his decade long crush, the possibility that he was reading more into the situation than actually existed was highly possible. Desiree probably saw him as an accommodating innkeeper, not a date. She was accustomed to people taking care of her and while he was glad to do it – Tanner couldn’t help wanting more. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She let her eyes rove over his wide shoulders, handsome face, down to thick thighs lovingly encased in denim. While everything he wore was crisply starched and ironed, he was still wearing his usual cowboy attire. Desiree licked her lips. The look was natural for him. She thought he was perfect. “You look nice too.” An understatement if she’d ever spoken one.
“Looks like the snow will stick for a while.” Tanner observed as he pulled out on the road. “How did you sleep last night?”
“I fell asleep while you were singing to me.” Desiree hugged herself, the memory almost enough to keep her warm. “How about you?”
Tanner adjusted the heat, raising the temperature and pointing the vent toward her. “I got plenty of rest.” Did she remember her bad dream? How he’d held her? How he kissed her? “We’ll do it again tonight. We’ll have to go to bed early. Santa Claus comes tonight.”
His good mood was infectious. “Do you think he will?”
“I can almost guarantee it,” he winked, moving slowly down the road. People in this part of the country weren’t used to driving on icy highways. “Tell me your favorite place to perform.”
Desiree thought a minute. “Well, I’d have to say the Grand Ole’ Opry. You can never say you’ve made it in country music until you sing on that stage.”
“I can imagine it’s like belonging to an exclusive club.” Tanner glanced toward her. The sweater emphasized her beautiful breasts. He shifted in the seat, his cock swelling at the thought of how he’d like to mold them with his hands. “You’ve traveled all over the world singing. What city is your favorite?”
Crossing her arms in front of her, Desiree tried to hide how hard her nipples were. It might be her imagination, but she thought he’d been looking at her chest. The idea made her tremble with excitement. “I don’t really have one. Touring isn’t nearly as glamorous as you’d think. There’s really no time for sight-seeing. You fly or drive in, rehearse, perform, then move on to the next place.”
“Sounds sort of lonely,” Tanner mused. “Not what I would’ve expected.”
“How about you? You’ve been a lot of places with your search and rescue, although I’m sure the circumstances are never very pleasant.” Turning as far as the seat belt would allow, she watched his face in the dimming light.
“I’ve seen some pretty country. I love the mountains, especially up north.” He put on his blinker and turned off onto a bigger highway, heading toward Bandera. “Sometimes we’re called to foreign countries. There’s been times I’ve helped search for downed planes in far-off oceans. Most of my work is done in the wilderness, though. I guess I’ve been called to every national park more than once.”
Desiree saw his face cloud with emotion. “I’m sure what you do is very rewarding.”
“Yea, unless I fail to find who I’m looking for.” Tanner lowered his visor as the lights of an oncoming car shone in his face. “My last mission was a disaster. A little boy wandered away from his parent’s campsite. We combed the entire area, he was found dead a few days later, a long distance from where he was last seen.”
Desiree placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I’m sure you did everything you could.”
“I just don’t understand it.”
The timber of his voice told her how upset he was. “Do a lot of people go missing in the parks?”
“Quite a few. According to records, at least eleven hundred in the past hundred years or so.” Tanner shook his head. “You can hear everything. People blame the disappearances on everything from aliens, to serial killers, to Bigfoot.”
“What do you think?” Desiree realized he needed to talk.
“I don’t know.” Tanner studied the road ahead of him. “Children and old people are the most common victims, which makes sense, they’re weaker. I guess it’s possible for someone to be abducting the young ones. One report said that those who wore brighter colors were at a greater risk.” He snorted in frustration. “I don’t have the answer. My success rate is higher than my fail rate, but losing even one just tears me up.”
“You’re a good man, Tanner Barron.” Desiree was never more certain of anything in her life.
They made small talk the rest of the way, with Tanner mentioning several times how beautiful everything looked with a light dusting of snow. “We just don’t get enough of it for me to take it for granted,” he commented with a smile.
“Weren’t we going to stop for a bottle of wine?” Desiree reminded him.
“I know just the place,” he motioned ahead. “There’s a shop down the road that has a little of everything.”
He was right. Desiree was entranced by the items she found to choose from. Wine was just one of the things they stocked. Wares from local artists abounded on the shelves. Remembering what Tanner had said about Santa coming, she kept her eyes open for something to give him. While he was checking out, she slipped away and found the perfect thing – a painting of a man on horseback, traversing down a treacherous mountain path. She didn’t remember seeing any paintings on his wall, hopefully he would enjoy this one.
With wine in hand, Tanner looked around for Desiree. “Now, where did that woman get off to?” He looked everywhere, down every aisle. When he didn’t see her, Tanner grew concerned. Thoughts of what had happened to her twice before ran through his mind. “Desiree!” She’d worn sunglasses and a cute cowboy hat. He didn’t think anyone would recognize her. “Desiree!”
After he’d looked through the entire store, he ran outside. “Desiree!”
“I’m here.” He heard her voice at his truck. To his immense relief, she was already sitting in the passenger seat. Feeling weak, he stopped, bent over and rested his hands on his knees.
“What’s wrong?” Desiree called out the open window.
“You scared me to death,” Tanner said dryly. Walking up to her side of the truck, he opened the door, carefully placed the bottle of wine on the central console, then took her by the shoulders and kissed her hard enough to take her breath away.
Desiree didn’t understand what was going on, but she appreciated his technique. When he let her go, she could only whimper. “Wow.”
Framing her face, he looked into her eyes. “Don’t do that again, I was afraid someone – Stark – had got to you.”
His sincere fear for her made Desiree want to cry. Throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him on the cheek. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.” She’d come outside to hide his present in the back before he joined her.
“As long as you’re okay.” He kissed her again before he returned to the driver’s seat. Desiree was shaken by his actions. When he got behind the wheel, she thought everything would go back to the way it had been before.
But it didn’t…this time Tanner held her hand and he didn’t turn it loose until they arrived at the Malone’s. Leaning out the window, he pressed a button at a control box. “You’ve got company!” he called with a teasing tone. In response, the gates opened wide. As Tanner pulled through, he pointed ahead. “The bars aren’t to keep people out, they’re to keep those rascals in.”
Desiree was delightfully surprised to see three camels making their way to greet them. “Wow, this I didn’t expect.”
“Bowie built on land originally part of Camp Verde, a civil war army encampment. These camels are descended from the ones brought here by Jefferson Davis. Needless to say, they didn’t catch on in Army life, but these look happy, don’t they?” Tanner parked, then came to help Desiree out so she wouldn’t be taken
down by the excited dromedaries.
“Oh, look at the little one!” She pointed at a smaller camel with light, almost blond fur.
“That’s Sheba, and her parent’s names are Lawrence and I think…the mother’s name is Jasmine, but don’t quote me on that. Bowie and Cassie have more critters than a zoo.”
In a few minutes, Desiree could see that he was right. Dogs and cats joined the camels, followed closely by a donkey and even a pot-bellied pig. She stopped to pet as many as she could until a man’s voice called out. “Okay, everybody, dinner’s served!” Those words must’ve been magic, for everyone took off toward the barn.
“Look, they all want their Christmas dinner,” Tanner laughed.
“They’re not the only ones!” The lilting female voice drew Desiree’s attention. She turned to see a woman holding open the front door. To Desiree’s dismay, she sat in a wheelchair.
Being careful not to react, she smiled in greeting. “Hello.”
“Desiree, Tanner, welcome!” Guiding her chair backward, she made room for them to come in, closing the door to keep out the cold.
“Hey, pretty lady.” Tanner bent over to press a kiss to their hostess’s cheek. “Cassie, this is Desiree Holt. Desiree, this is Cassie Malone.”
“Oh, I recognize Desiree.” Cassie held out her hand. “I’m so glad you could come.”
“Thank you for inviting me.” Desiree presented her with the bread. “I made this. I hope you like it.”
“We’ll love it.” A deep voice rang out as the sound of Bowie entering the house met their ears. “I’m thrilled you two came.”
“Bowie, this is the fabulous Desiree Holt.” Tanner continued his introductions. “Desiree, this is my best friend, Bowie Travis Malone.”
“Tanner, please…” Desiree protested the extra padding on her intro. “Hello, Bowie, I’m so pleased to be here.”
“We’re honored.” Bowie gave her a quick hug. “Make yourself at home.”
“Bowie, if you’ll get drinks, I’ll put dinner on the table.” Cassie made her way to the kitchen.