by Sable Hunter
“I can help,” Desiree offered, following her after she accepted a glass of wine from Bowie. “What can I do?” she asked, noticing the dining table to one side was beautifully set and an abundance of food sat on the counter.
“You can watch this,” Cassie smiled mysteriously. Holding on to the arms of her wheelchair, she began to stand.
“Wait, do you need me to help?” Desiree started toward her.
“I’m fine,” the beautiful blonde assured her. “I’ve been practicing.”
Desiree watched as she came to her feet, then took a couple of tentative steps to the counter. “I had surgery not too many months ago to remove some fragments near my spine that were causing me lots of pain.”
With hands extended at the ready, Desiree had to hold herself back from reaching out to steady Cassie. “You can walk!”
Cassie gave her a beaming smile. “I could always take a few steps; I was never completely paralyzed. Only the extreme agony kept me in the chair.”
“This is amazing!” Desiree could only imagine how happy Cassie and Bowie were. “Does Tanner know?”
“He’s about to find out.” Cassie winked at Desiree. “Tanner! Could you give me a hand?” Amused, Desiree watched Cassie try to act casual as she arranged herself in the pose she wanted Tanner to see when he came through the door.
“Be right there!” Tanner called, motioning for Bowie to follow. “If she’s calling on me, she must have a job you aren’t man enough to handle.” He flexed his muscles, teasing his friend.
“Shoot, she’s just probably planning on giving you a way to show off for Desiree.”
“What can I do for you, ma’am?” He left their comfortable living room, which was gaily decorated for the holidays with a huge tree by the window and stockings hung over the fireplace. When he entered the kitchen, he saw Desiree slicing the bread and Cassie was walking toward him with a corkscrew.
“Could you open the wine?”
“Sure…” – and then it hit him. Walking. She was walking! “Cassie!” He grasped her outstretched hand gently. “I’d grab you up and hug you, but I’m afraid I’d hurt you.” He laughed out loud with joy, turning to Bowie. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Bowie wiped his eyes, unashamed to show his emotion. “She wanted to show you herself.”
Cassie hugged Tanner, then turned slowly to explain to Desiree. “I’ve been in rehab, and I still have some work to do. My therapist thinks I’ll be chair free in a few months.”
“This calls for a party!” Tanner opened the wine and Desiree handed the glasses over to be filled. Soon they were sitting down to a true celebratory dinner.
As the evening progressed, Desiree felt at home. Bowie and Cassie asked her a few questions about her career, but they focused more on her as a person than a performer and she loved them for it.
Tanner couldn’t keep his eyes off of Desiree. She fit right in, whispering girl talk with Cassie and laughing at Bowie’s jokes. All he could think about was the kiss they’d shared – which she’d instigated, and the one he’d planted on her after she’d scared ten years off his life. He didn’t like to think of her being vulnerable to any danger. How was he going to let her go in just a few short days? What he did intend to do was make the most of the time he could share with her.
“Would you split a piece of dessert with me?” she asked, eyeing the big pecan pie.
“Yes,” he agreed. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t want my own slice on the side.”
“Greedy.” She grinned at him.
“Yes, I am greedy.” He was greedy for her time and for her touch. She seemed to understand, because her gaze softened. The depth of emotion he saw in her eyes gave him hope.
“Oh, by the way, Jacob called. There’s news on Noah’s mother.” Bowie spoke between bites of his second helping of mashed potatoes and gravy.
“Really?” Tanner asked, as he held his plate out for pie. “Did they find her?”
“No, not yet. After Isaac, Micah and Jet searched for her in Tampico, verifying that she had spent some time there, the brothers went down but had no luck. They think all of the questions and attention might have spooked her…” Bowie frowned, rearranging his silverware by his plate. “Or she might be running from something else. Jacob said that Roscoe and Vance think they’ve found a lead on her in Juarez.”
Tanner whistled. “Damn. Juarez is better than it used to be but it’s still a dangerous place.” When he saw Desiree’s confused look, he gave her a brief explanation. “I’ll fill you in on all the details later, but the McCoy’s are our friends. I used to work for them.” He waved a hand in the air, implying there was much more to the story. “There are six of the McCoy brothers, and one of them, Noah, just discovered a while back that he had a different mother than the rest.” At Desiree’s surprised expression, he frowned. “Yea, it was rough. Long story short, his family and friends have been trying to help him locate his real mother.”
“I hope he finds her,” Desiree muttered. “My parents divorced when I was a teenager. They’re both gone now, but at least I had them for a while.” She didn’t go into details, how her mother had worked so hard to put her father through medical school – only to be repaid by being left for a much younger woman. Her mother’s grief had shortened her life. Desiree could still remember her mother’s words. Never marry a younger man, Desi. They’ll leave you when your looks begin to fade.
“I never knew my mother.” Tanner said flatly, causing Desiree to study his face.
“I’m sorry.” She covered his hand with hers, feeling his loss. She’d never really forgiven her father, although he’d done his best to make it up to her, trying to explain that their age hadn’t had anything to do with the divorce, he’d just fallen in love with someone else. Truthfully, Desiree didn’t know what she believed. She only knew their conflicts had hurt her very much.
“Don’t be, I reconciled myself to it a long time ago.”
Bowie cleared his throat. “Since this is the night for big announcements, I just found out I was adopted.” Cassie mirrored Desiree’s action, holding her husband’s hand. “My folks never told me. I don’t guess I would’ve ever known if my uncle hadn’t needed a kidney transplant and he let it slip after I offered him one of my own.”
“Do you know any details?” Tanner asked, his mind running a mile a minute. “Your parents were great.” Not like his.
“No, not yet. And you’re right, this changes nothing about my parents.” Bowie mused. “I do want to find out who I am, though. After the holidays I plan on checking into the mystery. Who knows? I may have a whole new family I know nothing about.”
Desiree ate so much, she felt stuffed. “The food was marvelous.” Turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes, all the dishes that make Christmas special. “This is the best meal I’ve had in a long time.”
“I’m so glad you enjoyed it.” Cassie rose slowly, taking her time.
“Allow me, please.” Desiree began to clear the table.
“I’ll help.” Tanner joined her. “Seeing Cassie walk is a Christmas miracle.”
“Amen.” Bowie pitched in to help. A few minutes later, they had the table cleared. Desiree washed while Bowie dried. Neither saw their counterparts slip away.
Cassie had to take it slow. “I’m progressing, but I tire easily.” She slipped back into her chair. “Push me to my craft room, I have some things for you.”
After Tanner eased Cassie into place by the table, he peered into the box of treasure’s. “Perfect. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“No thanks necessary. I enjoyed picking things out. There’s several items for you to choose from. What you don’t need, just bring back later.” She rearranged the items and made sure they were all secure. “I don’t know what all you have in mind, but I think it’s romantic as hell.”
“Yea, I think I have every day covered except for the last one. I plan on springing for roses on day twelve.” After Tanner eased Cassie into place by the table, he
peered into the box of treasures. “Perfect. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“You’ve had Bowie’s back for years, and I’m counting on you to continue to do so.”
Cassie’s serious request caused Tanner to face her. “He’s been telling on me, hasn’t he?”
“Yes,” She held on to the arms of her chair and stood. “I know about the child you think you failed.”
“I did fail.” Tanner rested his hands flat on the table and stared out the window into the dark night. He could still see flakes of snowing falling in the illumination of a security light.
“No, you didn’t. Bowie said that little boy was dead before you even got on the mountain.” Cassie announced softly.
“We don’t know that for sure.”
“You’ve got to forgive yourself for something you couldn’t help. If you need help, ask Bowie.”
Tanner straightened, realizing what she was talking about. When Bowie had been a child, he’d been the one who pulled the trigger that put Cassie in a wheelchair. The shooting had been purely accidental. The young Bowie hadn’t known Cassie was standing behind the target. “I’m sure your loving him unconditionally had a lot to do with it.”
Cassie smiled. “Well, I hope so. Have you talked this over with Desiree?”
“Yea, she told me the same thing you did.” He picked up the box. “Thanks for this. I’m going to take it out the back door and I’ll be right back.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Cover for me.”
After depositing the box of surprises for Desiree in the back behind the driver’s seat, he returned to the house to find the other three preparing to share a final toast with him. The picture they presented standing around the fireplace with raised glasses gave him mixed emotions. How quickly he could become used to having Desiree in his life.
“To good times and good friends.” Bowie raised his glass.
“There’s no other people in the world I’d rather be with more than the three of you.” Tanner admitted with a catch in his throat. This was his family and the woman of his dreams.
“To answered prayers and Christmas miracles,” Cassie said, standing on her own two feet.
Desiree touched her glasses to theirs. “Thank you for making me feel welcome.”
“Yes, thanks for having us.” Tanner put his arm around Desiree, pulling her close.
After they’d said their goodbyes, the trip home was made in relative silence. For a bit, Tanner thought she’d fallen asleep. But when he glanced over and caught her staring out the window, he noticed she was shivering. “Are you cold?”
“No.” Desiree said with a bit of shame in her voice. “I just dread the nighttime.”
“You don’t have to. The invitation is open for you to stay with me as long as you’re at Lost Pines.”
“Are you sure it isn’t an inconvenience?” Desiree asked.
“Hell, no.” Tanner was emphatic. “I enjoy having you around.” He placed his hand at the nape of her neck and rubbed it gently. “How do you feel?”
“Being with you and your friends made all the difference in the world. Other than that, taking a ride or a walk always helps.”
“There’s no way he can get to you when you’re with me.” Tanner muttered, getting to the heart of what he knew she feared most.
“I know. I shouldn’t worry. There’s no way for Stark to know where I am.”
“No, and if he did, I’d protect you with my life.”
Desiree had no doubt Tanner meant what he said. She took a deep breath, knowing she could relax. Once they were back at Lost Pines, Tanner stopped by her cabin first so she could get what she needed for the night. He took no chances, entering the cabin first and making sure all was well. While she grabbed her suitcase, he waited patiently, then repeated the process when he arrived at his own place. “Let me get you in the house before I head out to the barn to check on the animals for the night. Elsie should have her calf soon.”
“Okay.” She couldn’t help but notice the box he had under his arm. Since he had a mischievous look in his eyes, she didn’t ask. A man was allowed to have his secrets. Just as soon as he left her to put the stock to bed, she ran to the truck to retrieve her own gift for him.
Carrying it in, she tried to decide what to do with it, finally slipping it under the bed when she heard him coming back inside. “Desiree, where are you?” he called.
“In here,” she came from the sun room.
“It’s stopped snowing, and the sky is clear. I’ve never seen a more beautiful night. Bundle up, I’m taking you for a horseback ride.”
By the smile on his face, she could tell he was excited. “Be right back!” She hurried to find her coat and to slip her shoes back on. “I haven’t ridden a horse in years,” she informed him.
“No worries, we’ll be riding double.” While she was out of the room, he built a fire so the house would be warm when they returned.
“Oh, dang,” she whispered. That was even more exciting. He’d be holding her close.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing!” Obviously the man had hearing like a hawk. “I’m here!” she announced with a smile.
“Have you taken your pills yet?” he asked, coming up to her and buttoning her coat.
Desiree trembled beneath his touch. “No, I thought I’d wait until we came back. I didn’t want to get drowsy and fall off the horse.”
“Oh, I’ll be holding you too tight for that.” Tanner ran his hand underneath her hair and lifted it out of her collar. “Where are your gloves?”
“Right here.” She pulled them out of her pockets and slipped them on. She loved the way he took care of her.
“Come on.” Tucking her hand into the crook of his arm, Tanner led her outside to where a big roan horse was waiting, the reins tied to the corner post of the porch.
“Oh, he’s tall,” Desiree murmured, staring at the big horse.
“She. Her name’s Tasha.” Before she could protest, Tanner lifted her up in the saddle. “Hold on to the horn,” he instructed before mounting up to sit behind her. “Now, you can relax.”
When he put his arm around her middle and tugged her gently backwards, she followed his instructions and nestled into his arms. “You make everything seem so easy.”
Tanner laughed at this notion. “We’re all good at something. Riding horses is second nature to me. Look how easy you make singing appear to be. When you come out on a stage, you own the crowd, baby.”
“The last time I performed, I almost didn’t make it until the end,” she confessed in a low tone.
Tanner kissed the back of her head. When she didn’t move, he did it again. “You know, I guess I should’ve asked you this earlier…” He paused and she tilted her head back to peer over her shoulder at him.
“What?”
“Is there someone else? Do you have a special man in your life?”
“No, there’s no one.”
She didn’t offer more information than that. “Good,” was his only verbal response, but he placed the side of his face against hers. “Lay your head on my shoulder and take deep breaths. I want to replace all of those bad memories of yours with good ones. I don’t want you to dread the dark anymore, I want you to look forward to it.” When he whispered in her ear, he felt her tremble in his arms. “Good things can happen when the sun goes down. Pleasurable things.”
Desiree wanted to ask him what kind of things…but she couldn’t find the words. Instead, she took a deep breath and just looked at the world around her. The ground was covered in snow, and the branches of the pines looked like they had been flocked for the holidays. “It’s like a wonderland.”
Tanner gazed at her perfect profile. “The prettiest I’ve ever seen.” He pulled Tasha to a stop, giving them a moment to survey the landscape. “If you listen, the silence is beautiful too.”
Desiree closed her eyes. What she could hear wasn’t exactly silence. There was a hush, but it was punctuated by the sweep of an easy wind and t
he almost soundless settling of snow on the ground. “So peaceful.”
Tanner urged Tasha onward and he held her close while he traversed the rolling hills surrounding their cabins. He couldn’t quite believe what was happening. If someone would’ve told him he’d be holding Desiree Holt in his arms on Christmas Eve night, he would have called them crazy. When her breathing deepened and he could see her eyelids were getting heavy, Tanner turned the horse toward home. Stopping by the porch, he dismounted and held out his arms.
Desiree slid down into his embrace, giving herself over to his care. “Thank you, I’ll never forget that as long as I live.”
“Let’s get you in. You can get warm and put on your nightclothes. I’ll be right back.”
Following his instructions, she hurried in to change clothes in front of the fire. When she finished, she glanced at her pill bottles. Should she just skip them and see how she did? Even as she considered the possibility, a chill went down her spine. Could she do it? Deciding to compromise, she took the tiny Xanax pill only, ignoring the other sleep aids.
When she heard Tanner stomping the snow off his boots, she came out to meet him. “Are you sure you’ll be okay in the recliner?”
He’d be far more comfortable in bed with her, but he knew that wasn’t what she meant. “Believe me, I’ve slept in far less comfortable places than that big soft leather chair.”
Feeling relieved, she went to crawl in the warm covers while he got ready for bed. As she sat up, waiting for him, there was a sharp tugging in her chest. Even though she was unused to the sensation, Desiree had no trouble recognizing the feeling as yearning. She understood this was unusual circumstances. Her emotions and expectations of this man were all tied up with her identifying him in her mind as the white knight of her dreams.
What did he want from her?
He’d been so affectionate, kissing her, holding her close. Desiree sighed with frustration. If she were more experienced, more tempting – she might feel sure enough to suggest that they…. “Arg!” She hit the fluffy covers with a balled up fist. Even forming the thought was difficult for her. Sex had always been something she could do without. She’d never even orgasmed with a partner and the ones she’d achieved on her own were pale and lackluster compared to the ones she read about in the romance books she kept on her kindle.