Wings and Beyond

by Joy Redmond

  Friday morning, the day of her wedding, Mandy woke up, stretched and yawned. She wanted to sleep a little longer, but there were too many last minute things to do. She swung her tapered legs off the bed and slipped her feet into her fuzzy slippers.

  She walked over to the vanity, ready to have her morning talk with Nikko. She stopped and stared, her eyes wide with surprise and concern as she faced the mirror. The large round mirror was cracked, from the top right to the bottom left and as she looked at the reflection, she saw herself cut in half.

  She raised her hand, and being careful not to get cut, rubbed her index and middle finger across the crack. She was mystified, for it didn’t feel like broken glass and the crack was as smooth as if it had been drawn on the mirror. “Nikko, what the heck? We already know that we’re two people. Our personalities split years ago. Maybe it’s just a fluke. Old mirrors do crack. But why today?”

  Nikko didn’t answer, she waited in the recesses of Mandy’s mind.

  Mandy dressed and headed downstairs. She used the bathroom, then looked into the mirror on the medicine cabinet that hung over the washbasin. “Are you gonna crack too? I know I’m not that ugly.”

  She giggled and waited for Nikko to giggle with her. Nikko was still silent.

  She went into the kitchen and saw the table had been extended. She figured that Otis had helped Iris put in the table leaf before he headed out to get the morning chores done. She admired the beautiful white lace cloth that covered it. A large crystal punch bowl was sitting in the middle of the table and the punch ingredients were on the counter top by the fridge. Iris was opening a wooden box that held the Sterling Silverware.

  “Morning, Mother.”

  Iris jumped and dropped a fork. “My stars! You about scared me out of my wits. My mind is spinning like a top, trying to remember everything that I have to do today. I was about to call you. You don’t want to be late for your hair appointment. And please don’t forget to pick up your bridal bouquet and the cake. Do I need to go with you?”

  “No, Mother. You’ve got enough to do. I think I can handle it. I guess breakfast was over a few hours ago, huh? I’ll just fix a bowl of cheerios with a banana. Is it okay if I eat in my room since you’ve got the table looking pretty? I won’t make a mess and I’ll bring the bowl, spoon, and glass down and wash them when I’m finished.” I hope you wait until tomorrow before you go into my room and see the cracked mirror. I wouldn’t want it to throw you into a spasm today.

  “I guess so. Please sit in the rocker, not on your bed. Did you see your wedding gown that I spread out over the couch?”

  As Mandy fixed her breakfast, she said, “I won’t make a mess in my room, and yes, I saw my gown. Thank you.” She headed out of the kitchen and back upstairs. She crossed her room and headed for the rocker by the window. Just as she was in front of the vanity, she turned and glanced at the mirror. “Holy crapola!” she exclaimed. The crack was gone. “What was that all about, Nikko? Was it a message from a spirit? If so, what does it mean?”

  Nikko made no comment.

  Mandy shrugged her shoulders and went over to the rocker. She had too much to do and think about to worry where Nikko went to, and she always showed up when she was needed.

  By 5 that afternoon, everything was ready. Mandy had bought herself a makeup kit, complete with foundation, red lipstick, green eye shadow, rose-colored blush, black mascara, and eye liner. She sat on the vanity stool and carefully applied it. “What do you think, Nikko? Aren’t we beautiful? Of course, Mother will faint for sure when she sees me, but it’s my wedding day and her days of telling me what I can and can’t wear are over. Now I’ve got to put on my new garter belt and hose. No more girdles. My six inch heels are easy as pie to walk in. I’m sure Mother will be running upstairs at any minute to help me slip into my wedding gown. Be prepared for a breakdown when she sees the makeup.

  Nikko giggled but said nothing.

  Iris walked into the room just as Mandy was slipping on her heels. Iris was wearing a baby-blue suit and white silk blouse with her hair in a French twist with a gold comb stuck into the twist. The hair-do and gold comb brought back the memory of the day when Iris was dressed in the same suit and they were on their way to the lawyer’s office to finalize the adoption.

  Mandy’s eyes started to tear up, but she controlled herself. This was not the time to dwell on the past, but a picture of Daddy flashed across her eyes, and with it came the pain she felt when he signed those papers.

  “Let’s get you into your gown. Your father has the car backed out and he’s waiting for us. And he took your bouquet out of the fridge. He put it in the back seat,” Iris said as she picked up the gown from the bed. She didn’t seem to notice the makeup but Mandy figured Iris was controlling herself and not willing to start a ruckus. Iris held the gown and Mandy stepped into it, then Iris zipped it up. “You look beautiful, honey. I’ll hold up the skirt as you go down the stairs. Are you ready?”

  “I’m ready, Mother.”

  They made it down the steps, through the living room, across the sun porch, and out the back door without incident. Mandy was a bundle of nerves inside, but she knew she had to do this. She had to make sure her baby had a daddy and a name.

  Otis held the car door open and Mandy climbed inside. He was also wearing the same suit he had worn for the adoption. The same clothes that made me yours, legally, and today you’ll give me to another man, and my name will legally be changed again. I reckon that’s fitting, Mandy thought.

  When they arrived at the church, Mandy saw Jack’s red-and-white Ford. Then she saw Lester and Pearl’s green Pontiac. Both were parked close to the front door. Our parents finally meet, she thought, and a shiver ran the length of her body. She imagined a knock-down, drag-out fight between Iris and Pearl, and she stifled a giggle, but she wondered just who the winner would be, and she bet on Iris, tic and all.

  Otis opened the car door for Mandy as she gathered her dress and stepped out to a new life that would begin in just a little while. Just as her feet touched the driveway, Patsy and Shelly pulled in. Mandy watched as her two best friends got out of the car and she felt love for them both. They helped her keep her sanity in an insane world and she would hold them in her heart, no matter where she would live.

  Patsy was wearing a pink formal and Shelly was wearing a blue one. The girls hugged and Mandy held onto them, not wanting to let them go—not wanting to leave them behind. Then Iris walked to Mandy’s side.

  “Are you going to make the introductions? The Walkers are just standing over there like they aren’t sure they’re at the right place.” They both turned and glanced at them, and Mandy could feel Iris stiffen.

  Mandy said, “Come on.” She walked ahead of her parents and headed toward her new family. Pearl was dressed in a blue dress, much like the color of Iris’s suit. She also had on white gloves and a hat with a large brim, trimmed with a blue ribbon. Lester was wearing a three-piece light brown suit. Allison wore a frilly, yellow dress, and she too had on white gloves. Al and Andy wore dark brown suits, with white shirts and tan ties.

  Mandy’s hands shook and her insides trembled as she said, “Mr. and Mrs. Walker, this is my parents, Otis and Iris Hodge. Mother. Dad, this is Jack’s sister, Allison, and his two brothers, Al and Andy.”

  Her mind tried to slip away but she vaguely heard them all mutter, “Nice to meet you.”

  Jack took Mandy’s hand and said, “You’re the most beautiful bride in the world.” He leaned in as if he were going to kiss her on the lips, but Mandy backed away.

  “Don’t smear my lipstick.”

  Iris turned to Shelly and Patsy. “Now, you girls need to go to the basement. You stay there until the pastor’s wife starts playing the wedding march. Patsy you come up first, and Shelly, you follow her. When you two are in place, Mandy, you meet your father at the top of the stairs and take his arm.”

  Mandy, Patsy, and Shelly hurried on their way. Just as they went through the church door, Mandy
heard Jack yell, “Love ya.”

  “Me too,” Mandy said with her fingers crossed.

  Once they were in the basement, Patsy and Shelly were telling Mandy how beautiful she was, making a fuss over her gown, and asking questions. Mandy felt her mind flow away and she didn’t fight it. She wanted and desired to be on auto pilot until it was all over.

  She heard the piano playing from a distance, and saw Patsy and Shelly ascend the steps, but they were blurred and she couldn’t make out their faces or the color of their dresses. Color seemed to have faded into the background, much like her mind had done. She couldn’t feel her feet as she walked up the steps and slipped her arm through Otis’s arm.

  As she walked down the aisle, the people sitting in the pews appeared to be holograms. Nothing was real. She was in a black and white world surrounded by cartoon characters that were stiff and unmoving.

  She had no memory of exchanging vows or wedding bands. Her emotions were on a different plane of existence. She vaguely remembered Jack kissing her after Pastor pronounced them man and wife and presented them as Mr. and Mrs. Jack Walker.

  She and Jack were standing in the receiving line when her spirit flowed back into her and she came back to reality. She was surprised at how many people had shown up. But her heart hurt when she realized that Uncle Carl and Aunt Lou were the only Randalls who bothered to come.

  She watched the last guest leave and gave a heavy sigh. It was over. She was more alone than she had ever felt in her life. She glanced at Jack and saw a man who was self-centered and owned by his mama and driven by lust. Her heart wept and as she turned from the door, the emotions flooded back, and her mind raged against the injustice of life. She placed her hand over her stomach and felt a calmness settle over her just as she heard a familiar voice.

  “Hi, Punkin!”

  She whirled around, and at first thought she was seeing an illusion, but she sucked in a deep breath, then cried, “Daddy! Daddy!” as she grabbed him around the neck.

  Daddy hugged her tiny body to his and she felt his arms tremble. “Carl called and told me about the wedding. I wanted to surprise you. I did, huh?”

  Mandy felt faint, but managed to say, “You sure did.” Then she threw her arms around Daddy’s neck again. “Oh, Daddy. I’ve missed you so much. It’s been eight years since I’ve seen you. You’re still one handsome devil.”

  She felt another pair of arms slip around her waist. “How about me, Sis?”

  Mandy cried, “Lee!” She grabbed him around the neck and hugged with all her might. When she finally turned him loose, she took a step back and said, “You’re one handsome devil, too. I don’t think I would have recognized you if I’d seen you on the street. Gosh, you’ve grown so tall. You’re taller than Daddy.”

  “Yep, he’s gonna be an Amazon, just like your grandma Winston. But look at you, you tiny mite. You’re the spitting imagine of your beautiful mama.”

  Mandy watched Daddy’s eyes become teary, but she knew he’d never let them escape and roll down his face.

  Mandy teetered. Shit fire! Snap out of it. You think Daddy and Lee are hugging you and talking to you. Get a grip. Come back to earth. She still felt the powerful arms around her and her nostrils caught the blend of Old Spice, cigarettes, and whiskey. A scent from yesteryear.

  Mandy reached up and patted Daddy’s face. “You’re real. You really are here. I—”

  “Are you going to introduce your husband?” Jack said in a hateful tone.

  Reality hit Mandy full force and she cringed inside. “Oh. Daddy, Lee, this is Jack. Jack, this is my real daddy and my brother, Lee.”

  Iris walked up to Mandy. “We’re going on to the house. We need to be there when everybody comes for the reception. I’ve told the Walkers how to get there.” Iris glanced to her right. “Hello, Mr. Randall. Lee, it’s good to see you.” Iris’s voice was cold as ice water.

  When Iris went out the door, Mandy saw Daddy’s eyes were hard as steel as he stepped up with his face inches from Jack’s face. “You better be good to my little girl, or you’ll answer to me!” His voice was cold and hard.

  “And me,” Lee boldly said.

  Jack didn’t say a word. He merely stuck his hands in his pant pockets and jingled change.

  “Daddy, how long are you and Lee going to be in Kentucky? I’ll be back from Nashville by Sunday afternoon. Will you be at Uncle Carl’s? We’ll come by and spend some time with you. It’s been so damn long.” That’s right, Jack. I said damn. Do you want to say something about it in front of Daddy and Lee? Nikko said.

  “I’m sorry, Punkin, but me and Lee have to take off for Indianapolis. We don’t have time to come to the reception either. Ellie is expecting another baby at any minute. I’ve got to get back before she goes into labor. But we’ll be back to see you soon. I promise.”

  Mandy’s heart dropped and a shroud of darkness fell around her. Yeah, just like all the other times that you promised to come. “I understand, Daddy. It’s so good to see you. And so good to see you, Lee. When you have a chance to visit me, you can get my new address from Uncle Carl.” She threw her arms around Daddy’s neck, never wanting to turn him loose. Then she hugged Lee, her heart breaking. All I do is say goodbye to the people I really love.

  Daddy scooped Mandy into his powerful arms. “I love ya, Punkin. Love you with all my heart, even if I haven’t always shown it.”

  “I love you with all my heart, Daddy. I always have. I always will.”

  Daddy stood her on the floor and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

  Lee hugged her. “I love you, Sis. I’ll be back to see you. I’ve got my driver’s license and I’ll steal Daddy’s car if he doesn’t come back. He hates Kentucky, and it’s hard for him to make the trip.”

  Mandy wiped her eyes. “Okay. Just go on before I breakdown. I’ll turn my head. I can’t stand to watch you walk away. Just go!” she said as she buried her face in her hands.

  She willed herself to fly away.

  The next thing she remembered was going upstairs to her bedroom. She took off her wedding gown, spread it across her bed, and then changed into jeans, a sweater, and loafers. She slung her shoulder strap purse over her shoulder and looked around.

  “Spirit. Spirits. Whoever you are, how many you are, please stay with me. Don’t stay behind in this room. I need you.”

  As her eyes took one last sweep of the room, she heard soft chimes.

  “You hear me. Good. Now stay with me,” she whispered.

  The desk lamp flickered off and on.

  Mandy smiled, “Come on, Nikko. You stay with me too,” she said as she closed the door, then hurried downstairs.

  Chapter Twenty

  It had been two months since the wedding, and Mandy had an appointment with an obstetrician, Dr. Harold who confirmed her pregnancy. After she left the doctor’s office, she drove out to Cross Pointe, wondering how Iris and Otis would react to the news. It hadn’t been a pleasant two months in the tiny metal shanty, and Jack went crazy wanting her all hours and expected her to be ready and willing. She wasn’t ready or willing for his rutting and grunting on her, and several times she wanted nothing better than to make a gelding out of him.

  It was a little past noon when she pulled into the driveway. Just as she stepped out of the car, Iris opened the back door and called out sweetly, “Come on in, honey. I was just thinking about you. Your father and I were going to come visit you tomorrow.”

  Mandy took a deep breath and hurried inside. She walked into the living room. “Is Dad here? I have some news to share.” Her heart was shaking but she needed to get this done and over with.

  Otis came out of the kitchen, wiping his mouth on a napkin. “Well, look who’s here. We were just talking about you. We were wondering when you’d take the time to come see us.” His eyes lit up when he saw her, and Mandy was surprised at the depth of emotion in them.

  “I’ve talked to Mother on the phone every day. I’ve had a lot to do and I haven’t had time to c
ome for a visit.”

  Iris bristled, “Yes, I call, and Pearl seems to be in a snit because she has to go out to your trailer and tell you to come to the phone. I wish you had your own phone. I really don’t like that woman!”

  “We can’t afford a phone, Mother. Just don’t pay any attention to her. And before you ask why I’m here on a school day, I had a doctor’s appointment.”

  Iris gasped. “What’s wrong, honey? Do you have a fever?” she asked as she felt Mandy’s forehead.

  “No, I don’t have a fever. Could we all have a seat?” Mandy was nervous and her heart did a little dance in her chest. She gazed at the two people who had adopted her, and even though they’d had their fair share of fights and tempers, she knew they’d always been there for her.

  Iris and Otis sat down on the couch and Mandy sat between them. She took a few deep breaths, then blurted, “You’re going to be grandparents.” She held her breath.

  Iris grabbed Mandy around the shoulders and hugged tightly. “Oh, my goodness! I sure wasn’t expecting this so soon, but I’m overjoyed. Otis, can you believe that we’re going to get a grandbaby?”

  Mandy turned to Otis beside her and saw raw emotion as tears sprung, and he looked at Iris. “We never thought we’d ever be parents. Then God blessed us with Amanda. Now God is blessing us with a grandchild. I think it’s the best news I’ve heard since, well, since we learned that there was a little girl who needed us for her parents.” He wiped his eyes.

  Iris’s eyes widened. “But what about school? You can’t graduate if you’re pregnant. Oh, my!”

  “I think I can hide my pregnancy and continue school. You might need to make me some skirts a little larger and I’ll pull a long sweater over my stomach. People will just think that I’m getting fat.”

  “I can do that,” Iris said, and her fears seemed to subside.

  “Before I leave, I’d like to visit my bedroom. That room holds a lot of good memories for me. I’ll be back down in a minute.”