Wings and Beyond

by Joy Redmond

  When all the children were in bed for the night, and Abbie had her last feeding and diaper change, Mandy headed into the living room where she found Billy sitting on the couch, popping a top on a beer can.

  She stood in front of him. “Now we can finish the conversation until you get too drunk to comprehend. As for castrating you, let’s look at it from my point of view. I’d rather have my nuts cut off than have my heart cut out. You do that on a daily basis. You’ve called me unspeakable names, accused me of unspeakable things and you do it in front of my children. They’ve heard you call me a whore, a tramp, a worthless bitch, and that’s just—”

  “I do not!” Billy yelled. “You get your head full of shit and try to make me think I’m a monster.” A dribble of beer slid down one corner of his mouth.

  “That’s another thing. You deny being the monster that you are when you’ve had a few too many. When I was in school, a couple meant two. So when you say you’ve only had a couple beers, you need to say a couple dozen, because you don’t stop until you’re crazy-ass drunk. As for your vodka stash, I find it everywhere you hide it in the house, and Tony finds the bottles you think you hide in the garage. You’re always drunk, then you start with the verbal abuse. And how about the days and nights when you get a call to come in to work and you’re too drunk to go? You expect me to make the living, and you live rent-free since we don’t have a house payment, which means you’re also living off my parents. Would a real man do that? You castrated yourself.” It felt good to let it out and she was on a roll.

  “You’re crazy as hell! Just shut up and leave me alone,” Billy said as he popped a top on another beer.

  “It’s just a matter of time, Billy. There’s only so much that I’m going to take.”

  “More threats?”

  “No. Promises!”

  When Abbie was six weeks old, Mandy took her to see Dr. Morgan for her checkup.

  “She’s a healthy baby and a little beauty,” Dr. Morgan said as he handed her to Mandy. “So how are things going? I miss you not working at the clinic, and I really hated to hear another girl was hired for full-time, and Nancy is taking turns with weekends and holidays with her.”

  “That was a big shock and letdown for me. But with my school, pregnancy and now an infant, I understand. The clinic has to have workers they can depend on. I need work but with an infant I’m not sure what I can find.”

  Dr. Morgan put his arms around Mandy and said, “How would you like to do insurance claims for me? So many of my patients are on Public Assistance and the claims pile up to the point that my insurance lady can’t keep up. It’s simple work. Just type the form, taking all the info from the papers the patients fill out for themselves and for their children. You can do the work at home. Do you have a typewriter?”

  “Yes. I have an old Underwood. It needs a new ribbon, but I can get one. Oh, my God. You have no idea what this means to me. I really need the money. And being able to work from home is more than I could have ever dreamed of. Thank you so much!” Mandy beamed at him.

  “I’ll pay you two-fifty an hour, but there’s only about twenty hours of work per week, and you’ll be taking a load off me and my insurance clerk. So, pick up a stack of papers and insurance forms on your way out, type them up and I’ll expect them back at the end of the week.”

  “You’re always my saving grace when I have no idea how I’m going to make a living.” She hugged him, and again, he held on so tightly and so long that Mandy pushed away. The tingle she felt when she was in his arms was a bit alarming.

  As tempting as he is and as much as he and you’d like to take things to another level, if you did, you’d be exactly what Billy has accused you of, she thought, and her face turned red. I’d do it if he wasn’t a married man. I might as well become what I’ve been labeled.

  For the next year, Mandy worked from home and tried to keep the bills paid.

  Billy missed work more than ever, and his small paycheck bought booze, with only a few dollars left over. Mandy fell into a state of depression and despair.

  It was mid-July, and Mandy got a letter from Don. He and Anne and their two children were coming for a visit. Mandy snapped out of her depression and she cleaned the house, baked cakes and pies, and planned a menu for their three day visit. She sang as she worked and Abbie sang with her.

  Mandy was up early on the day that Don and his family were to arrive, her happiness unbridled as she got Abbie dressed. She dressed Abbie in a pink sundress, and tied her double ponytails with pink ribbons. Abbie was a beautiful little girl, and the sunshine of Mandy’s days.

  Kati and Tony headed outside and Mandy told them to stay close to the house and when they saw a car pull into the driveway they were to come home.

  Billy was gone and Mandy had no idea where he was, but just as her intuitions told her about Jack, the same intuitions told her that Billy had another woman. She hoped he’d stay gone until Don and his family had gone on their way.

  At 2 pm, Mandy was in the kitchen feeding Abbie her afternoon snack when she heard a light tapping on the front door. She picked up Abbie. “Doesn’t he know how to ring a doorbell?” she said, and laughed as she headed out of the kitchen. Just as she was about to round the corner and go into the foyer, she heard the front door open and close. She slowly put Abbie on the floor. Who is coming into the house? Chill bumps rose on her arms. Don wouldn’t just open the door and come in. Kati and Tony always came through the back door.

  Then she heard, “Punkin. Are you home?” Her heart stopped.

  “Daddy!” She ran and Daddy scooped her into his strong arms. “Daddy! Daddy!” she continued to cry as she hugged his neck, wondering if he were real. She caught the blended scent of cigarettes and Old Spice. There was no hint of whiskey.

  Daddy lowered her to the floor then said, “Who is this little darling?” as he picked up the baby.

  “That’s Abbie, my third baby. She just had her first birthday last week.” She watched as Daddy hugged Abbie to his chest and she saw his eyes tear. Then she heard the back door slam. “Here comes Kati and Tony,” she said, just as they ran into the foyer.

  The kids stopped and stared at the strange man.

  “Kati. Tony. This is Pappaw Randall. Mama’s real daddy.”

  Daddy stooped and wrapped his arms around both children and hugged them to his chest. “My. What a lucky Pappaw I am.” His face beamed as he held them close to him and he looked at Mandy with so much love, she thought she would melt right there on the spot.

  Mandy heard Daddy’s voice break and knew he was holding back tears. Kati and Tony hugged him and Kati said, “I’ve always wanted to see my pappaw. Mama has told me all about you.”

  “Me too,” Tony said. “Mama said you were the funniest person on earth.”

  Mandy stood back and watched Kati and Tony interact with Daddy for a few minutes. Then she said, “Come on in to the living room and have a seat, Daddy. Can I get you something to drink?”

  Daddy sat down on the couch, pulled Kati and Tony onto each of his legs, then he reached for Abbie, who had toddled up to him. “Pappaw’s three babies,” he said, and Mandy saw a tear roll down his face. Daddy just held the children for a few minutes, as if he wasn’t able to speak. Then he said, “I don’t need anything to drink, Punkin. Your ole daddy finally gave up the booze. Do you believe that?”

  “No, I sure don’t. I guess I believe in miracles again. I never thought I’d see the day when you would hold my children, and I sure didn’t think I’d see the day when you gave up the whiskey.”

  Mandy glanced up and saw a car pull up the driveway. “Daddy. Get ready for another surprise. Don, Anne, and two more of your grandchildren are here.”

  “What?” Daddy stood up so fast, Kati and Tony almost fell to the floor as Tony reached for Abbie. “I believe in miracles now!” Daddy headed across the floor, opened the door and was walking across the porch when Don and his family got out of the car and walked toward the porch.

  �
�Son!” Daddy said, and held out his arms.

  Don stumbled back a few steps and grabbed the wrought iron post. He blinked and managed to utter, “Daddy?” He seemed to be in shock and doubted his own eyes.

  “It’s your good for nothin' daddy, son.” Daddy ran to Don, hugged him and both of their bodies trembled.

  Mandy stood back, holding Abbie, and whispered to Kati and Tony, “Stay back until the reunion is over.”

  She fought tears as she saw Danny and Darla walk up on the porch, and Daddy stooped down, grabbed the children in both arms and said, “Are you my two grandbabies?” They just nodded, yes.

  “Daddy, this is my wife, Anne. The two kids are Danny and Darla.”

  Daddy hugged them all. He wiped his eyes as he turned toward Mandy. “I never thought I’d live long enough to see this day. If Lee and his family shows up, well, I might have to give my soul to Jesus!” he said with a deep chuckle.

  Mandy hugged Don, Anne, and the children. “It’s so good to see all of you. Come on in.” She didn’t feel as if she could keep her heart from jumping out of her body as everybody came into the house. She tucked her head and closed her eyes, Thank you, dear God, for this day and this reunion, she silently prayed.

  Everybody seemed to be talking at once and Mandy’s mind was bouncing as if it were a ping-pong ball. Daddy was asking about Lee and Mandy managed to say, “I hear from Lee from time to time. He was in Vietnam for two years, he pulled two terms. When he came back to the states, he went back to Dahlonega, Georgia. The last time I talked to him, he said he was going to be transferred to another post soon, but he wasn’t sure where.”

  Daddy said, “I hear from him from time to time. He hasn’t forgotten his no-good daddy either.”

  Mandy started when the phone rang. She handed Abbie to Anne, and hurried into the kitchen. Billy if you’re drunk, you better just stay where you are. She picked up the receiver. “Hello,” she said in a hateful tone.

  “Sis? How ya doin'?”

  Mandy clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming Lee’s name. She pulled the long phone cord around the corner and opened the door to the basement and stood on the second step.

  “Lee, where are you?” she whispered.

  “Well, Sis, I just arrived at Fort Campbell. That’s where I’ll be stationed for a couple years. I—”

  Mandy squeezed the stair railing, sure she was going to tumble down the steps. “Fort Campbell is only a two hour drive from me, er—”

  Lee laughed. “I know, Sis. We can see each other every weekend. I have your address.”

  “Lee, is there any way you can drive up to Bon Harbor right now? You won’t believe this, but Daddy and Don are here, and—”

  Lee interrupted. “Hold them there! I’ll have to make the trip up and back before midnight, but I’m on my way. Don’t mention it. I want it to be a surprise.” Lee hung up before Mandy could say anything else.

  Mandy held on to the railing, willing herself to stay with reality, though it was too overwhelming. Nikko, stay with me. Don’t let my mind fly off to Beyond. Or wherever I go. Keep me grounded. She took deep breaths, then went back to join her family.

  She sat and listened to the delightful chatter and laughter that was swelling her heart to overflow with happiness, and the anticipation of Lee coming was causing her to come and go. Stay with it, she cautioned herself over and over. Don’t fly off.

  Finally, Mandy saw a white GTO pull up in front of the house. “Daddy, go open the front door. Then give your soul to Jesus!”

  Daddy headed across the floor and Don followed him. Mandy was a few steps behind them. Just as they reached the foyer, the chandelier began to shake, and the dangling teardrop shapes rubbed together, and it made the sound of wind chimes.

  Mandy smiled as she watched all heads turn— and all eyes looked up at the chandelier.

  Mama and Evan are here, Nikko whispered.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Mandy was almost in a stupor as she watched her daddy, two brothers, niece and nephews, all hugging, laughing and talking, and it was as if they had never been apart, and as if the children had known each other for all their lives. She scanned their faces and realized it was the first time she, her three brothers and daddy had been together at the same time in twenty years. Her smile lit up her face as she gazed at them, and like the story of the Grinch, her heart grew three sizes at that moment.

  Mandy glanced at the clock. “Oh, my, it’s six o’clock. I need to get in the kitchen. I completely lost track of time. I’m not sure what I’ve got, but—”

  Before she could finish her sentence, Billy walked into the living room. “Well, are we having a party? I couldn’t find a place to park.” He smiled.

  “Billy, this is my family.” She made the introductions, and Billy shook hands with the adults and hugged the children. “Welcome to our home. I think I heard Mandy say something about eating. How about I go pick up some pizzas?”

  Mandy blew a sigh of relief. She was terrified when Billy had walked in. She figured he was drunk and he’d show his ass and embarrass her to tears. She could smell booze on his breath but he was being nice. Where the hell did you get enough money to buy pizzas for all this bunch? she wondered. “That sounds good to me. Is that agreeable with the rest of you?”

  Everybody agreed that pizza would be perfect. Especially the children. Mandy called in the order, and Billy went after it. When he arrived with six large pizzas, Mandy spread a blanket on the living room floor and the children sat in a circle and ate. The adults sat around the table. Abbie sat in her highchair, and Pappaw fed her.

  It just doesn’t get any better than this, Nikko. Doesn’t this remind you of the Christmas when Daddy brought us three back from Indianapolis, and we were with Mammaw and Pappaw Randall? We sat with all our cousins on a pallet in the living room and ate Christmas dinner. Then we said goodbye to Daddy. Again. Keep me together when I have to tell him bye this time.

  By ten-thirty, Lee had to say his goodbyes. “I hate to leave, but I’ve got to report to duty in the morning. Sis, we’ll be back in a week or so. Don, it’s good to see ya, Bro. I hope we see each other again soon. Daddy,” Lee’s voice broke. He hugged Daddy and continued like the strong soldier he was. “I’ll be up to see you as soon as possible.” Hugs were exchanged again, and Lee shooed his family out the door, and didn’t look back.

  Mandy stood at the door and watched them drive away. She thought she’d choke on the knot in her throat, but she stood strong and didn’t break down.

  The rest of the family stood at the front living room window, waved and watched Lee drive away. “Godspeed, Lee,” Mandy whispered, and she believed her voice would be carried on the wind and find its way into Lee’s heart.

  Abbie toddled up to Pappaw and pulled on his leg. He scooped her into his arms. “You remind me so much of my little Punkin.” He kissed her cheek, then just held her close to his chest. Abbie lay her head on his shoulder and within a minute, she was sound asleep.

  Asleep on your shoulder, just like your little Punkin, so many years ago, Nikko whispered in Mandy’s head.

  “Daddy, how long can you stay?” Mandy asked, longing in her voice.

  “I was going to stay a couple days, but you don’t have room for all of us. I can go over and stay with Carl and Lou.”

  “Oh, no, you won’t. Don and Anne can have mine and Billy’s bed. We’ll take Kati’s bed. You can sleep in Tony’s bed, and I’ll fix pallets right here in the middle of the living room for the four cousins. Abbie will be in her crib, but if she wakes up, I’ll hear her and I’ll come get her.”

  Anne said, “No, you won’t. If she cries, I’ll get her. I miss not having a baby. It’s been ten years since I’ve had to get up with a little one.” Anne seemed to beam with the thought of holding a little one again, and Mandy couldn’t tell her no.

  Daddy said, “I’ll sleep right here on the couch and watch over my four oldest grandchildren. I won’t have it any other way. I w
asn’t much of a daddy, but I’d like to be a good granddaddy. You just drag out blankets and pillows and we’ll camp out right here!” Daddy seemed to be glowing.

  Mandy made two pallets. Kati and Darla were on the one closest to Pappaw, and Tony and Danny pulled theirs across the room, as if they didn’t want to catch cooties from the silly girls. Mandy kissed all the kids, then she hugged and kissed Daddy. “Watch over them. And don’t be telling them ghost stories and scaring them to death like you use to when—” She tucked her chin and didn’t finish.

  “Like I use to when I was a daddy. Before I tucked tail and took off and left my four oldest children and their mother to fend for themselves. I can’t make up for the years that I wasn’t around, but I’d like to make the best of the years ahead.” Daddy lowered his head, and Mandy knew it was remorse seeping from his very core.

  “Tell us ghost stories, Pappaw!” Tony said.

  “Yeah, Pappaw,” the other three said in unison.

  Mandy laughed. “Go on and tell them. Then get ready for four kids to pile on top of you for the rest of the night.”

  “Fine with me,” Daddy said. “Now get on your pallets and I’ll start the stories. If you get scared, just jump on me and I’ll protect you from the ghosts.” The children laughed, then tucked a pillow under their heads. “Once there was a man called Bloody Bones—”

  Mandy walked down the hallway. I knew he was going to start with Bloody Bones. That’s the best one, she thought as she headed to the bathroom. She readied herself for bed, tiptoed into her bedroom, kissed Abbie, and suppressed a giggle when she heard Don snoring. God, if I drop dead this very night. I’ll die the happiest woman in the world. Thank you!

  For the next two days, Mandy felt as if she were walking on a cloud. Billy was sober and he played a great host. Danny was four years older than Tony, but they got along famously. They took turns riding the bicycle, and the nextdoor neighbor boy let them takes turns riding his motor scooter. Kati and Darla dragged out clothes, jewelry, and makeup from Mandy’s closet, drawers and bathroom. They played dress-up and pranced through the house as if they were models on a catwalk.