Chasing Logan

by Tracy Lorraine

  He’s stood in front of another door that I didn’t see when I came in with a spotlight shining down on him a little like when he’s on stage. His light brown hair looks more blonde under the light. It’s been played with and teased into a perfect mess by his hairdresser. He’s wearing his usual attire, only today he’s wearing a green checked shirt that makes his eyes pop.

  His utter perfection freezes me to the spot. I stand staring at him with my mouth open. I’m sure I look real special!

  “I wanted to apologise,” he says after what feels like forever and he takes a step towards me.

  “So you should, do you know how much stress you caused around here?”

  “I don’t care about them lot. I’m talking to you.” He puts emphasis on the you.

  “Yeah, well,” I stutter not really sure what to say to that.

  “I wasn’t running from you, it was just bad timing. Although that probably shouldn’t have happened.”

  “Okay, so what are you saying exactly?”

  I watch as his hands come up and run through that perfectly styled hair. He looks up to the sky as if he’s hoping the answer will come to him.

  After a few seconds he answers. “I don’t know. I was going to say that we can’t do this, that it was a mistake and that I’m sorry,” he starts but pauses giving me a chance to jump in.

  “You were going to say? So what do you want to say now then?”

  “I don’t want to say anything,” he states before walking towards me and crushing his lips against mine. He moves with such force that I don’t have a choice but to step backwards until my back hits the wall with a thud.

  My shock renders me motionless for a couple of seconds but the feel of his tongue running along my lips brings me back to reality and I open up for him without any hesitation.

  He kisses me with hunger and passion like he did before and I can’t get enough of it. I completely lose myself to him and the feel of his solid body pressed up against mine. My hands find their way up and under his shirt and t-shirt before I slide them underneath the waistband of his boxer briefs so I can grab on to his arse and pull him tighter to me.

  All of a sudden he’s gone and his hands slam down against the wall on either side of my head. “Shit, fuck, shit,” he mutters before turning and stepping back from me, making no effort to hide when he starts rearranging his clothing in an attempt to hide his erection.

  “Come on, we’ve got to go.”

  It’s not until he says that I realise the support act are on their last song. Fuck, he’s right.

  I take a couple of seconds in an attempt to right myself before we both head out through the separate doors we entered through.

  As I pass his dressing room door on my way to the stage, it opens and he steps out, followed by Victoria and a couple of minions. He steps right up next to me and whispers, “This isn’t over.”

  I’m not sure if it’s a warning or a promise with the way he says it. Not that it matters because a sizzle of excitement rushes through me and threatens my softening dick to pop back up just before I step out on stage in front of thousands.

  “Where the fuck have you been?” Bella asks in a panic when I come to a stop next to her. She take one look at me and states, “don’t answer that, it’s kind of obvious,” before she reaches up and attempts to sort my hair out. “I thought he had a girlfriend, Cole. What the fuck are you doing?”

  She’s right. I’ve been cheated on in the past and I’ve always sworn I would never do that to anyone. Shit.

  I don’t get to put any more thought into it because a minion starts waving at us to get us on to the stage.

  Five

  “That was fucking insane,” Bella says excitedly bouncing off the stage. “Please tell me you’re coming out to celebrate with us tonight.”

  “I…uh.”

  “Cole, for fuck sake, you’re swerving out on your best friend celebrating that awesome show to go to him? This isn’t you, Cole, you’d never go after someone that’s taken, and by a woman no less. Not to mention his usual dickhead attitude. What. The. Fuck?” she asks with her eyebrows raised and her hands on her hips. She’s suddenly much less excited and much more pissed off.

  “I just need to talk to him, get the truth. And he’s not like that when he’s with me,” I say trying to justify myself because deep down I know she’s right.

  “Then you’ll come and have a drink with your best friend?” she asks with a pout.

  “Yes, fine,” I concede.

  Once we’re back in our hotel room I let Bella use the bathroom first because she is desperate to get down to the bar to carry on the party atmosphere that has been buzzing around us all night.

  While she sorts herself out, I lay back on my bed and try to figure out what I want to say to Chase but I can’t get my thoughts together because all I can see are his eyes every time he made eye contact with me during the show tonight. It was like he was purposely seeking me out to remind me of what he said before going on stage. Like I needed reminding. The only thing now though, Bella has grounded me a little and reminded me that if I do this I’m going to hate myself. I need to find out about this Mia person and if she is his girlfriend.

  Bella emerges a while later dressed in her usual leggings and loose top with her hair piled on top of her head. She stops in her tracks before she gets to the door. “Make sure you stand up for what you believe in, Cole. Just because he’s a sex God rock star it doesn’t mean you get to throw your morals out of the window. I’ll see you downstairs in a bit. Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” I agree but I’m not sure if I really mean it.

  I make quick use of the bathroom then head up to Chase’s room. Unlike the other times I’ve been to his room, it’s him who actually answers the door. He’s still dressed in the clothes he was performing in and the edges of his hair are still damp with his sweat. To put it bluntly he looks fucking hot.

  Suddenly I’m pulled inside by my arm and I slam up against his chest. I can’t help the grunt that comes out of me when we make contact.

  “I didn’t think that concert was ever gonna end, all I could think about was kissing you again.”

  I stare up at him. Chase, currently one of the biggest stars in the UK and who just did a sell out concert in a massive arena, spent the whole time thinking about kissing me. Is this for fucking real? I swear I must be dreaming.

  I don’t get to respond because he does what he says he’s been waiting for and crashes his lips against mine. His hands instantly find the hem of my t-shirt and before I know what’s happening he’s gripped the bottom and has it off me and in a heap on the floor.

  “Fuck,” Chase groans as his hands roam all over my chest and back, and his lips return to mine.

  The earlier conversation I had with Bella has completely gone from my head. It’s been replaced by my attempt to memorise the feeling of Chase’s lips on mine and his hands on my body. I’m too consumed with lust for this incredible man to think about anything else.

  My hands follow suit and slip his shirt over his broad shoulders before lifting his t-shirt off of him. I reluctantly pull my lips from his to allow the fabric to pass between us.

  A little disappointment hits me when he doesn’t immediately put his lips back on mine, but I soon get over it because they go to my neck instead which causes goose bumps to prick over my skin.

  “I need to shower,” he says between kisses. “Come with me?”

  “Uh huh,” I mumble and I immediately feel his fingers skim the skin just above the waistband to my boxers as he fumbles to find the button on my jeans. When he does, he pops it open and wastes no time in shoving them down my legs.

  His mouth takes mine again as he places his hands on my hips and starts directing me backwards, I presume towards his bathroom. I lose my footing as my jeans are around my ankles and we both go down.

  It’s only when we hit the floor that Chase moves his lips from mine and thank fuck he does because he’s laughing. Properly laughing a
t our clumsiness and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. He has perfectly straight white teeth that are framed by his lush full pink lips. The dimples are so deep that I think I could probably climb in.

  I join in with his laughter. It feels so good to let loose and to know that he is doing it with me. He has been so miserable since this tour started, that knowing I’m bringing him joy makes me feel like a king.

  It only lasts a couple of seconds because he is soon up and pulling me with him. He gives me a chance to remove my shoes, socks and jeans while he undoes his jeans and comes to stand behind me. Then we’re on the move again except this time he is stood at my back with his arms around me while discovering every inch of my skin. I hate that I can’t do the same or even see him. Feeling his hardness against my arse as we walk though is a positive.

  “Fuck, I need you, Chase.”

  “Fuck, me too.” Shit, did I say that out loud? “You’ve been driving me crazy since that first rehearsal session months ago, I can’t get you out of my fucking head.”

  “Same,” I admit, “but I didn’t know you’re gay.”

  “No one does,” he replies, but doesn’t say anymore and I get distracted by him walking over to the massive walk in shower and turning it on to ask him what I want after that comment.

  He turns back to me, pulls his phone from his pocket and places it on the counter before dropping his jeans. The sight takes my breath away. His white boxer briefs are pretty small and they leave little to the imagination. My mouth waters at the sight.

  Chase shoves his hands into the waistband and I’m just about to watch intently as he pushes them down his legs when his phone lighting up catches my eye.

  When I look closer the name on the screen brings reality crashing down. It’s literally like a cold bucket of water has been thrown over me.

  Mia: I can’t sleep x

  After staring at it for a few seconds I start to back away from Chase. The reality of the situation I’m currently in, hitting me full force.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, his eyebrows drawing together in concern.

  “I shouldn’t be doing this. I can’t do this.”

  “Why, you were fine seconds ago. You were more than fine about it actually,” he says coming towards me but I take another step back.

  “You’ve got a girlfriend. I won’t be that man. I will not go into this knowing you’re taken, and by a woman, who doesn’t even know your gay.” I actually laugh at how unbelievable it all sounds.

  Chase, the rock star, is secretly gay and has an affair with his dancer. I can just see it as the headline in some trashy magazine now. I’ll be the home wrecker in the situation and never get work again. I can see the whole thing playing out in my head and it’s not pretty.

  “What? I haven’t got a girlfriend,” he says looking perplexed. Nice try!

  “Don’t lie to me. Mia,” I say pointing towards his phone, “your girlfriend, can’t sleep and needs you to keep her entertained.

  “What? Mia’s not my girlfriend.”

  “No then who is she?”

  “Not my girlfriend that’s for damn sure.”

  “Yeah, so you said. If she’s not your girlfriend then who is she?”

  “No one. Come on, let’s carry on where we left off,” he says holding his hand out for me. The room is starting to get hazy with the steam coming from the shower. I so badly want to continue but I can’t, not if I think he’s with someone. If he wasn’t hiding something then he’d just tell me who she is, right?

  “Tell me who Mia is.”

  “Cole.” Fuck the way my name sounds rolling off his tongue nearly breaks me. “Just get in the fucking shower.”

  “I won’t be lied to, Chase. I won’t.” And with that said I turn on my heels, grab my clothes from the living room floor and get the fuck out of his room as fast as I can. I’m not quite fast enough though, I hear his reaction to the situation loud and clear.

  “ARGH, FUCK SAKE!” he hollers before I hear a loud crash followed by another roar.

  Clutching my clothes and shoes to my chest I race down the stairs and towards my room. I’ve almost managed it without getting caught until I turn the last corner and I come up against Chantelle and Jess looking their usual barely clad selves.

  “Evening, Cole. Well I guess that explains why both you and Connor haven’t been down for drinks yet,” Chantelle says with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

  “WHAT! No, no, no,” I repeat trying to plead my innocence.

  “Well you’ve been with someone obviously,” Jess says gesturing to my mostly naked state. “And Connor is the only other gay guy on this tour as far as we know.”

  “I haven’t been with Connor. I haven’t been with anyone, just forget you’ve seen me.” I know it’s a long shot that these two gossip hungry women will believe anything I have to say right now but it’s worth a shot I guess.

  “Not gonna happen.”

  No, I didn’t think so. Deciding against standing here in just my boxers trying to plead my case I barge past them and towards my room.

  “Nice arse,” they shout out in unison but I ignore them in favour of locking myself away. I know it’s unlikely after how I just left but if Chase comes after me and they’re still stood out there this whole situation could go from bad to worse.

  Once I’m in I throw my clothes on top of my suitcase. The sight of Chase’s notebook, that I still haven’t returned, poking out makes me cringe. I nearly did it, I was nearly the other man. A wave of anger rushes through me. I grab the notebook and do what I’ve been dying to do since I picked it up. I open it. Then my heart drops.

  Good luck on tour superstar,

  Loads of love

  Mia

  xxx

  I knew he was fucking lying. There are even pink love hearts floating around the message on the first page.

  I throw it back into my case and storm into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me in anger. I need to get his smell off of me, lying fucker.

  “YOU FUCKED CONNOR!” gets shouted across the bathroom as the door slams back against the wall and Bella comes storming in.

  Bella’s seen me naked loads of times so I’m not bothered about her appearance while I’m in the shower, what seriously pisses me off though is that she actually feels the need to accuse me of that.

  “Sure, come in why don’t you,” I say sarcastically.

  “You fucked Connor?” she repeats like I didn’t hear her the first time.

  “Seriously, B? You’re really asking me that?”

  “Well that’s what everyone is saying downstairs. Apparently Chantelle and Jess caught you at it.”

  “What? Seriously!”

  “Yes, and although it doesn’t sound like something you’d do, I mean he is way too gay for your taste, but you’ve been acting all kinds of crazy since this thing with Chase kicked off so…I don’t know!”

  “Chinese fucking whispers,” I mutter as I grab a towel and wrap it around my waist. I follow Bella out of the bathroom and tell her what actually happened.

  “So they just seen you in the corridor in your boxers and made the rest up?”

  “Yeah, pretty much. I can’t believe you thought I could have slept with Connor!”

  “Well, everyone was saying it and then Connor appeared and he didn’t correct everyone. He didn’t agree with it but he definitely didn’t do anything to make it seem like it wasn’t true.

  Once I’m dressed I explain what happened with Chase. I can tell Bella’s disappointed in me because I let things go so far with him but I think she understands.

  “I can’t believe he would do that to his girlfriend. I didn’t see him as the cheating kind.”

  “Well, it’s not like they wear a sign around their necks is it!”

  Six

  “Here’s lover boy,” gets shouted over at me the next morning when I come down for breakfast.

  When I look up to see what stupid fucker shouted it, I’ve had lessons in how to th
row down now after all, my eyes lock with a pair of green ones I was not expecting to see. I watch as they widen in sheer panic as what was just shouted filters into his brain. I can only presume he must think they’re talking about him and me.

  I hate myself for it because it makes me as bad as Connor last night but I don’t say anything. I just let them all continue to gossip. If Chase could see past his panic that his secret could be out then he’d realise no one is asking him about it so it clearly doesn’t involve him.

  I step forward to find a table for Bella and myself to sit at when someone hollers, “hey, Connor, it’s your boyfriend.”

  Chase’s eyes once again snap to mine but this time instead of panic I see something else.

  Disappointment?

  Jealousy?

  Anger?

  I have no idea, I don’t know him well enough.

  “Are you okay?” Bella asks looking concerned after we’ve ordered. “You look tired.”

  “I am.” Even I could see that my usually bright blue eyes were looking a little dull this morning. “Every time I shut my eyes all I could see was him,” I say quietly.

  I glance up and notice that Chase is leaving. Loads of people still seem to be gossiping and looking my way, while Connor is intently staring down at his plate. Probably wise because I am so not in the mood to look at his face. Or Chase’s really for that matter. They’re both as bad as each other.

  Fucking liars.

  “Did you see the state of his knuckles?” Bella asks after she watches them leave.

  “No,” I mutter in response not really wanting to continue to discuss this any more.

  “Even from here I could see they were in a right state. You must have seriously affected him last night.”

  “Hmmm…” I try really hard not to think about that for the rest of the day.

  I try my best to keep myself to myself for the next couple of days in the hope the gossip slows down. I tried to defend myself to a few people but I couldn’t lie and I couldn’t exactly tell the truth either. The fact I was caught half naked clutching my clothes in the hotel corridor makes me look a little guilty. And although Connor is also keeping quiet, he also isn’t denying it either, bloody attention seeker. He loves being the centre of everyone’s gossip.