Alien Tango

by Gini Koch

I managed a chuckle. “He’s a man. They don’t like to accept help unless they have to.”

  “Am I going to be sleeping with an entire galactic consciousness?” Reader asked me. “Because if so, I think Paul and I are going to need a bigger bed.”

  “No. We will not intrude. We know how important you are to . . . us?”

  “To Paul, and you’re now a part of Paul, so that’s right.” I looked at Reader. “They’re going to be confused for a while, I think. Just remember that they’re really trying to adapt and not cause problems.”

  He managed a grin. “I’ll do my best.”

  Gower gave a shuddering sigh. “What’s going on, Jamie?” It was his voice again.

  “I think we’re all making plans to never come to Florida again,” Reader said. “But otherwise, you’re the new and improved model, and supposedly things will be normal in a while. Oh, and let the entity help you, okay? By the way, girlfriend, we need to give that a name. Calling it ‘the entity’ is starting to make me expect something to burst out of Paul’s chest at any minute.”

  “Makes sense. What name?”

  Gower sat up and kind of twitched. “Oh, this is really odd. Okay, the entity says that it likes the name Kitty.”

  Reader and I both burst into laughter. “That would be interesting,” Reader said with a wicked grin. “But if we’re going to do a threesome, I’d rather have the original model.”

  “So not amused over here,” Martini said.

  Gower twitched again. “I hope this gets smoother. I feel like I have palsy. I explained that we’d like a name that isn’t a duplicate of anyone else’s, so that the entity is acknowledged in its own right.” Mr. Diplomacy in action. I knew I’d been right about where the entity needed to go.

  “What about Bob?”

  “Are you kidding? I’m not sharing mind space with ‘Bob.’ ” Gower chuckled. “The entity says it’s not wild about Bob, either. No offense meant to the many great Bobs who have come before and will come after intended.” It was learning humor already. This was a good sign.

  “You want a boy name, a girl name, or a nongender-specific name?”

  Gower seemed to be thinking, or having a conversation in his head. He twitched a little, but it was getting more controlled. “Nongender-specific.”

  “Okay, I’ll think about that while I check out the astronauts.”

  “They don’t need checking out,” Martini snapped.

  “Oh, Jeff, you know what I mean.” I got up and went over to Brian and knelt next to him and Claudia. “Hey, big guy, come on, it’s okay.”

  Brian clutched my hand. “This sucks.”

  “Yeah, it does. Look at it this way—you won’t have to live with it every day like Paul will.”

  Brian shook his head. “I won’t be able to ever forget this.”

  “Yeah, I know you’re good with the remembering. That’s okay. It shouldn’t be forgotten. But, you’ll be okay in a little bit. Besides, this is nothing compared to doing hill charges in the monsoons.”

  “Or stair drills during sandstorms.” He managed a smile. “It was good preparation for my career.”

  “Mine too, at least my second one.” Brian looked ready to sit up, and Claudia and I both helped him; he kept hold of my hand. Claudia stroked his head, and Brian leaned back against her. I could see Randy out of the corner of my eye, and he looked no more pleased than Martini did out of the other corner.

  “I think it’s passing,” he said finally.

  “Great, let’s get you standing up, then.”

  I started to get to my feet when Martini’s arm went around my waist, and he picked me up, conveniently pulling my hand out of Brian’s. “I’ll help him; you’re still recovering, too.”

  Martini put his hand down to Brian, who took it somewhat reluctantly. Martini moved Brian to his feet rather more quickly than I thought was probably nice or good for Brian under the circumstances.

  But Brian just grinned. “Thanks. Still not as bad as reentry.” He turned around to help Claudia up, but Randy was already there and pointedly did this himself. Brian looked at me. “I see I’m popular.”

  “With the ladies.” Martini shot me a look that said any more jokes like that wouldn’t be taken well. “I’m going to check on Daniel now,” I said quickly.

  Joe looked far less jealous of Lorraine’s holding Chee. This was possibly because Chee was wearing a wedding ring. Lorraine had him sitting up by the time I got to them. “Daniel’s going to be okay,” she said as she stroked his head.

  Like Brian, Chee was leaning back against her. Unlike Brian, he seemed more concerned with everyone else than enjoying his backrest. “How are you? Are the others doing all right?”

  “I’m fine, Paul and Brian seem like they’ll be okay. I haven’t checked Michael out yet.” I glanced over. He was still in a ball with Alfred rocking him as though he were a small child. “Not so good over there.”

  Chee nodded. “I’m not surprised.”

  “Why so?”

  He gave me a weak smile and dropped his voice. “He’s the loneliest.”

  “Not Brian?”

  Chee shook his head. “You’re here. Even though you’re in a relationship with someone else, you two go way back, and you obviously care about him, even if you’re not going to become his wife tomorrow. Brian has been so focused on you, or finding someone to equal you, that he’s had a lot of long-term relationships. He also has strong friendships, here and in his personal life. Michael . . . not so much.”

  “The player stands alone.”

  “Right.”

  “You’ve worked with them a long time?”

  Chee grinned. “And I have doctoral degrees in psychology and human behavior as well as astrophysics.” I thought I detected some drool running down Lorraine’s chin. Dazzlers loved brains and brain potential; they weren’t so much into looks, though if they could get both, it wasn’t considered a bad deal. The younger generation of Dazzlers pretty much only wanted to marry human men, under the notion that they were smarter than A-C males. I didn’t agree, but I also felt interspecies mating was something we needed, regardless of the fact I was with Martini, so I didn’t put much effort into arguing for A-C male mental gifts.

  “What does your wife do?” I figured I needed to give Lorraine, and possibly Claudia, a gentle reminder that this one was unavailable.

  “She’s a rocket scientist. She helped design the Valiant.” He sounded extremely proud.

  “She sounds great,” Lorraine said, with only a trace of envy.

  “Maybe you’ll meet her; she’s here somewhere I’m sure.” Chee sounded normal again.

  “Jeff, can you help Daniel up?”

  He lifted me up first. “Sure, baby. What’s your plan for bachelor number three?” he asked as he reached his hand down to Chee. Martini was a lot gentler this time. Joe helped Lorraine up and pulled her next to him. I got the impression he’d picked up the drool moment.

  I sighed. “I need to help your father.”

  “Why you?”

  “Because Paul needs to concentrate on adjusting to the soon-to-be-renamed entity, and the next closest relative isn’t helping.”

  “Christopher could give it a try.”

  “He could, and so could you, but familial rivalries do not a comfort situation make.” I looked up at him. “Trust me, I’m not going to let him one-up you, at least not with me.”

  Martini sighed. “Okay, go for it.”

  “I don’t need any help from any of you,” Michael said, between sobs.

  Alfred gave me a long-suffering look. “Good luck.”

  CHAPTER 38

  I KNELT DOWN NEXT TO Michael and Alfred. “Yeah, I know, tough guy. You’re good all on your own, right?”

  “Get away from me,” he snarled. At least he tried to snarl. But he was still crying and it didn’t come off as intimidating.

  I stroked his head. He tried to bat my hand away, but Alfred grabbed it. “Michael, you’re not too old to be t
urned over my knee.” He shook his head. “He’s normally not this unpleasant.”

  “Oh, that’s open to debate. Plus, he normally hasn’t faced his own loneliness and had it thrown back at him a thousandfold.”

  Michael managed a baleful look in my direction. “Who says I’m lonely?”

  “Uh, everyone. And your reactions confirm it.” I settled down next to them. “So, any good nongender-specific names you two can come up with?”

  “This is supposed to help him?” Alfred asked. He shot Martini a look. “Son, you might want to lend a hand.”

  Martini shook his head. “Kitty’s got it handled. Don’t you, baby?”

  “In my own way. So, Michael, any name suggestions?”

  “For what?” He still seemed angry but he was crying a bit less.

  “For the soon-to-be-renamed entity that’s now residing within your brother. I suggested Bob, but it was turned down.”

  “Why is it in Paul?” I heard some resentment. What a surprise.

  “Because he can handle it. And you can’t.”

  “Thanks, I feel a lot better.” He gave me another nasty look. “I think I may take back the dinner invitation.”

  I laughed, I couldn’t help it. “Michael, you crack me up, you really do.” I leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear. “You’re extremely handsome, but so is every A-C male. You’re not more attractive to me than Jeff, Christopher, Paul, or James. Christopher and I have an understanding, and the understanding is that I’m Jeff’s. But if something happened to Jeff, after a long period of mourning, I might be able to face it with my favorite snarkmeister. If James and your brother ever seriously consider going bi, then Jeff might need to worry. Otherwise . . . not so much.”

  Michael shifted so he could glare at me more easily. Maybe glaring was just an A-C specialty and Christopher was their gold medalist. “What does Jeff have that I don’t?”

  “Wow, do we have the time? Charm, charisma, killer smile, the greatest body on the planet. Not to mention power and authority, which, as any girl can tell you, are always turn ons. And other qualities best not discussed in front of his father.”

  “Oh, no, go ahead,” Alfred said. “Make me proud.”

  “He’s really so much like you. No one told me.”

  “They were probably worried I’d steal you away,” he said with a grin.

  Martini cleared his throat. “Dad? You’re heading into therapy territory.”

  “Always with you it’s the trauma.” Alfred gave me a wink. “You seem to handle his histrionics well.”

  “He’s worth it.” I looked back to Michael. “You, so far, are not. Now, get it together and sit up like a big boy, or at least toss some names out.”

  Michael glared at me again, but he stretched out and put his hands behind his head. “Paula.”

  “Nongender-specific, weren’t you paying attention?”

  He managed a smile. “Just seemed like a good choice.”

  “Bob was better.”

  He snorted. “Hardly. How about Leslie?”

  “Hate it,” Gower called.

  We went through a few more, none making any headway in our finding a name, but all getting Michael back to normal. Within a few minutes he was sitting up.

  Christopher wandered over. “What about location or something instead of a regular name?”

  “Location like what?” Gower asked. “By the way, you want to get off the floor so Uncle Alfred can get up, too?” he asked Michael as he walked over to us.

  “I suppose,” Michael said reluctantly. Gower reached his hand down. Michael took it slowly. Gower hauled him to his feet. “Thanks.”

  “Any time, little brother. You want up, Kitty?”

  “Oh, my job, thanks,” Martini said, as he picked me up and kept his arm around me.

  Alfred rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the helping hand, son.”

  Michael reached his hand down. “Let me.” He helped Alfred up and then hugged the older man. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

  Alfred patted his back. “That’s what family’s for.”

  “Think of a name,” I said to everyone. “Christopher, any ideas?”

  “Dakota?”

  “You said you never went to the movies.”

  “But he reads the trades,” Reader said with a snicker.

  “It’s a collective consciousness from across two solar systems, not a bear,” Gower added, sounding peeved.

  The rest of the gang got into it. I kept on trying to come up with something that didn’t sound silly, having already tossed out Bob. Part of me wanted to suggest the name Terry, but I didn’t think Christopher or Martini would be able to deal with it. I leaned my head against Martini’s shoulder and let my mind wander.

  What had I seen while I was asleep? Alpha Centauri and Earth, though I had no idea which of the many planets cruising around the double stars was the A-C home world. What did the entity have that made it unique? In a way, it belonged to both Alpha Centauri and Earth. Just like the A-Cs. The A-Cs of Earth.

  “Um . . . what about . . . ACE?”

  “As in of spades?” Christopher asked, sounding unimpressed.

  “No, as in Alpha Centauri and Earth. All capital letters, sort of thing, A-C-E.”

  “That’ll sound like he’s got a great pilot in there,” Joe said, sounding uncertain.

  “Or a card sharp,” Reader added.

  “A tennis pro,” Randy suggested.

  “There aren’t a lot of negatives associated with it,” I reminded them. “Most people would take being called the ace as a compliment.”

  “You just like it because you thought it up,” Christopher said. This was true, but I still thought it was good.

  “We like it,” the voice that wasn’t quite Gower’s said.

  Gower twitched and nodded. “I’m fine with ACE.”

  Reader’s phone rang. “Hello. Uh-huh. Yeah, we’ve solved the astronaut problem. No, nothing on the other two. Oh, yeah? Great, we’ll be there shortly.” He hung up. “Glad we have that whole naming issue taken care of, because that was Kevin. He thinks he’s found Kitty’s stalker.”

  CHAPTER 39

  WE FILED OUT, astronauts in tow. Martini sent Christopher, Reader, and Gower to verify if the dead cleaning woman’s body was still in the computer room. It was, which was something of a relief.

  We wandered more halls and walked through areas that, if we weren’t in the middle of all the life and world threatening situations, would have been fascinating. I could hear Chee pointing out some things to Lorraine and Claudia, both of whom were flanking him, with their guys hanging on tight. It occurred to me that bringing the girls here was like taking them to their version of Disneyland and Chippendale’s combined.

  Jerry was still riding herd on Turco, assisted by Gower, Reader, and Alfred, all of whom were discussing how they were looking forward to ensuring Turco never did security at so much as a Taco Bell. I’d almost have felt sorry for him, but he was still busy insinuating that the A-Cs were responsible for all the world’s problems, up to and including global warming.

  Christopher and Michael were behind us, but close enough to hear our conversation easily. Martini had a firm hold on my hand, in part because Brian was walking next to me. “So, you really think someone’s out to get you because of me?” Brian asked, sounding a little weirded out and a lot flattered.

  “I know, hard to believe, isn’t it?” Martini snapped.

  I squeezed his hand. “Jeff, stop. Yeah, Bri, I really do think we’ve got someone who loves you just a little too much.”

  He sighed. “I hope whoever it is doesn’t have a gun.”

  “Yeah, me too.” We had no idea if Kevin had the suspected stalker in custody or if he had merely narrowed the potential suspects down to one.

  “So, what’re your parents up to?”

  Wow. I had no idea of how to answer that—on the one hand, everyone I hung with on a daily basis knew exactly who and what my parents were and did.
But Brian fell into the gray area of someone who might be safe to tell but also might not be. I went for the classic. “They’re great. Mom was thrilled to hear we’d run into each other.”

  “Really? That’s so nice. Your parents were always the best.”

  “Yeah,” Christopher said from behind us. “They like me a lot, too.” Martini was starting to growl under his breath. “Jeff . . . not as much.”

  I didn’t have to look behind me to know Christopher was grinning and having some fun at his cousin’s expense. Brian, of course, had no knowledge of their relationship, or mine with Christopher. “Oh, did you date Kitty, too?” Brian asked, innocently as far as I could tell.

  Martini was walking faster, and I could feel anger radiating off of him. Gower, or ACE, more likely, must have felt it, too, because he fell back. “Jeff, we need to chat, just for a second.”

  Martini didn’t want to, I knew. “Jeff, I’ll just wait a couple of feet away, okay?” He let my hand go, so I took that for a yes. The other three went with me, and we waited at a corner. Chee was still leading the others off; we were going to lose them in a second or two. “Michael, you know how to get to Mission Control, right?”

  “Gosh, I hope so. I only work here.”

  “Sarcasm is such an ugly trait in an A-C.”

  “You seem enamored of it.” Michael jerked his head toward Martini.

  “He makes it look good.”

  Brian cleared his throat. “I know how to get there, too, Kitty.”

  Now I felt bad. Oh, well, story of my life, chronic foot-in-mouth disease. Martini assured me there was no cure but claimed to find it an endearing trait. “Sorry, Bri. I’m just having a hard time thinking of you as an astronaut.”

  “What did you think I was going to become?” he asked, sounding somewhat huffy.

  I didn’t have the heart to tell him I hadn’t given his career choices a lot of thought once we’d graduated from high school. “I don’t know. Maybe a lawyer.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know why. I could see you in marketing—you were always creative.”

  “No I wasn’t. I was good at bullshit. It’s considered a great gift in marketing. But I wasn’t an artist or a writer, Bri. I was a marketing manager. It means I told some people what to do and took orders from other people.”