Alien Tango

by Gini Koch

  “As opposed to now,” Christopher said, “where she gives everyone orders and ignores the orders from people she’s supposed to listen to.”

  “You’re not over me not letting you guys die yet, are you?”

  “You really didn’t see me becoming successful, did you?” Brian asked.

  I wanted a subject change, but more I was wondering what Gower and Martini were talking about, because while it wasn’t an animated conversation, it was taking a little long for the “cool down” talk I’d thought Gower was giving him. So I didn’t really think about what came out of my mouth. “Why did we break up?”

  “What, you want me to recite the reasons you gave me in front of your ex-boyfriend? Why don’t we wait so I can tell your current one your reasons, too.” Ah, this sounded more familiar. I really attracted the jealous types. Or else I really found them attractive, because I’d had a few others in between Brian and Martini. Only, as I thought about it, I hadn’t been in love with any of them.

  “Brian, Christopher is not my ‘ex’ anything.” Unless one counted a few minutes of pawing each other like crazed wolverines in an elevator until my sanity came back as being an “item.” And I didn’t, in part because I’d almost lost Martini right then, before I’d even realized I never wanted to lose him. Christopher and I both had the real excuse that the Supreme Fugly was affecting our emotions, his in particular, but that excuse only worked because we’d stopped and Martini had finally realized I didn’t want Christopher over him. I didn’t want anyone over him, but some days he still didn’t believe it.

  This line of thought always did two things—made me feel guilty and incredibly horny at the same time. I wanted to go somewhere, anywhere, and make love to Martini for the next several hours and let everyone else deal with the crap. Only we couldn’t, and I knew it.

  “Then why do you want me to talk about why we broke up?” Brian wasn’t going to let it go, even though we were with Christopher and Michael.

  Interestingly, Michael was the one who answered that question. “Because she doesn’t remember.” Brian started to argue, but Michael shook his head. “Bri, I’ve got more of a chance with her than you do, and she was pretty clear that I have no chance at all. She didn’t recognize you, okay? Accept it. You’re still in love with her, but she moved on, as near as I can tell, about ten years ago.”

  Brian looked at me, and his expression was hurt. “Is he right? You didn’t remember me? You don’t remember why we broke up, or anything else?”

  I sighed. “Brian, I have your picture up, still. It’s one of the few that really matters to me, the one of us dancing at my sweet sixteen.” An oxymoron in and of itself, if you bought the tagline of “never been kissed.” I’d already been kissed a lot by then. “You’ll always be someone very important to me, for a variety of reasons.” I heard Christopher snort and made sure I didn’t look at him—I was certain he knew my full relationship with Brian from that one picture, perhaps more than I did.

  “But, I haven’t spent the last decade wondering where you were, other than the occasional thought that I hoped you were doing well. You’re trying to pick up a relationship over ten years after it ended, and you’re trying to do it without understanding that I spent the time actually living, not staying a static memory.”

  “You don’t know her any more,” Christopher said gently. “You think you do, but you don’t. You’ve both changed in ten years, more than either one of you realize. Even if she weren’t in love with my cousin, you’d have to rebuild, learn if you liked each other as you are now, not however you were a decade ago.”

  Brian nodded slowly. “I guess that makes sense.” He gave me a grin I remembered. “You’re not engaged or married. That gives me a shot.”

  This wasn’t the line of thought I was hoping Brian was going to go for. “Um, I suppose. But, Brian—I’m really happy with Jeff.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe you only think you are.”

  “Brian? Do you perhaps remember any of the posters and books in my room?”

  “Yeah, and sorry. As an independent woman, you know your own mind.” He sounded like he’d memorized this and still found it annoying.

  This rang a bell. “Did I use that as a reason we were breaking up?”

  Brian nodded. “That and I was possessive, jealous, overly protective, somewhat smothering, needy, clingy, and overcommitted to commitment. I was a good kisser and, from your limited experience, good in bed, you did throw me those bones.”

  “Erm . . . ” Wow, he’d just described Martini in, pretty much, a nutshell. Only, fabulous kisser and out of this or any other world in the sex department in my much less limited experience.

  Christopher was laughing, so hard he had to lean on Michael to stay upright. “Glad to see your tastes have changed so much.”

  Surprisingly, this comment didn’t make Brian angry. He grinned at me. “So, I do have a shot. Good to know.”

  Michael patted my shoulder. “I know you think I’m a jerk, but if you want to try someone who isn’t anything like just described, I’m your man.”

  “I’ll keep it mind.” For want of anything better to do, I looked around the corner. The others were long gone. Martini and Gower were still in deep discussion.

  My phone chose this moment to ring again. I wasn’t disappointed. I dug it out and saw the number, however, and my relief quickly faded. “Hi, again, odd stalker person. For the official record, Brian’s not my boyfriend.”

  “You’re both going to die now!” The voice wasn’t muffled any more. It was a woman, and she was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had to hold the phone away from my ear in order to retain hearing. She was so loud the others could hear her easily.

  “Why? He’s not with me. We’re not together. We are not a couple. Can I explain that any other ways you might comprehend?”

  “I can see you, and he’s right next to you, that two-timing bastard!”

  “Yes, we’re walking somewhere together. But that doesn’t mean we’re an item. Why don’t you calm down, and maybe you can explain to Brian why he should be in love with you.”

  “It’s too late for that. You had your chance, but you refused to leave. You want him for yourself? Fine! Prepare to die, you man-eating bitch!”

  CHAPTER 40

  A-C REFLEXES MIGHT MEAN THEY couldn’t drive cars or fly planes safely, but they sure came in handy during a crisis situation. Christopher grabbed me, Michael grabbed Brian, and then we were all running at hyperspeed back the way we’d come. Martini and Gower were also with us.

  The bomb went off as we rounded one of the many corners. Fortunately A-Cs were also much stronger than humans, because the shock waves knocked me down, and I would have gone flying if Christopher hadn’t managed to wrap his arms around me.

  We stopped. “MOVE!” Martini bellowed. I saw a fireball headed toward us. Whoever was “in love” with Brian had some serious skills with explosives.

  We all ran again at hyperspeed. Christopher still had my hand, but Martini was on my other side. He didn’t touch me, not because he was in a snit but because doubling the hyperspeed effect was more than hard on humans.

  I had no idea where we were going, but Michael was in the lead, dragging Brian along, and the rest of us followed them. We weren’t headed back to quarantine, that I was sure of.

  We came to a stop what seemed like far away in the maze of hallways from where we’d been. Brian and I both dropped to our hands and knees and started retching.

  “This sucks worse than being possessed,” Brian gasped out between gags.

  “Better than blowing up,” I managed to reply. I’d kept a hold of my phone somehow. It was still open, and I put it up to my ear. “Are you still on, psycho stalker person?”

  She was. Lucky me. “How did you survive that, you bitch?”

  I hit the speaker option so I could keep on retching while chatting with my favorite unknown loony. “Look, babe, I have no idea who you are or why you think committing felonies
is the way to any man’s heart, let alone Brian’s, but I think I now speak for both of us in saying you are one truly whacked-out piece of work, and when we find you, we’re going to enjoy locking you up somewhere for good.” I was no longer amused, felt anything like pity for her, or considered this the lowest-level threat we had.

  “You’ll both pay for this.” She was crying. “How could you escape the bomb? You’re the devil, aren’t you? That’s why you’ve enticed him all these years!”

  “You religious at all, babe?”

  “Very, and I can spot a she-devil.”

  “Then, let me just say I’m gonna go all kinds of Old Testament on your ass whenever we finally meet up. That is, if you’re not too freaking scared of me to stop trying to blow me up and just settle this like women have through the ages.”

  “How’s that?” She actually sounded interested. I was so good with the psychopaths. What a fab skill.

  “Girl fight. You pick the spot, I’ll be there. Whoever wins gets to keep Brian.”

  She was quiet for a few moments, and I got to my feet with an assist from Martini. Michael helped Brian up as well, while Christopher carefully handed me the phone.

  “Fine,” she said finally. “The Lighthouse.”

  Michael shook his head violently.

  “It’s not close by and not in this building,” Martini whispered in my ear.

  “I was thinking somewhere closer and a whole lot sooner.”

  “I’ll be there, at dawn.”

  “What time, exactly, is dawn around here?”

  “I can’t believe he’s interested in someone so stupid. Dawn will be at five-forty-seven.”

  “Great.” I loathed mornings. “See you at o-dark-thirty. Looking forward to kicking your pseudoreligious ass to Kingdom Come.”

  “Come alone, or I’ll just kill you,” she added.

  “Oh, come on. I thought you’d at least want Brian along so he can see the action.”

  Another significant pause while all the men with me looked at me like I was crazy. “Fine, but only him.”

  “No worries, who else would want to see this?”

  “Tomorrow, dawn, the Lighthouse. You don’t come, I kill you both.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, heard it before. See you then.” We both hung up, and I made sure my phone was really off.

  “Bri, Michael, do you recognize her voice?”

  They both shook their heads. “I think it was disguised, even though she was screaming,” Michael said.

  “The technology for that is pretty easy to come by,” Brian added.

  “Figures. I cannot freaking believe I have to fight this chick at freaking dawn.”

  “I can’t believe you think you’re going to, and alone at that,” Martini snapped.

  “I can’t believe you want me to go with you to watch,” Brian said. “I don’t want you to go, I want a SWAT team to go.”

  “How can she meet you anyway?” Michael asked. “You said everyone’s in lockdown.”

  I couldn’t help it, my eyes rolled. “Freak chick’s not in the building.” They all stared at me. “Dudes, how could she be? She’s not even aware the place is in lockdown, is she? She’s got some sort of visual going on, because she sure as hell knew where we were standing. Unless Turco’s so bad she just rigged every single part of the entire Space Center.”

  “No security is that bad,” Christopher said. “Besides, the entire place didn’t go up, just where we were standing.”

  “How could she do that if she wasn’t in the building?” Martini asked.

  I shrugged. “How would I know? I don’t make these plans up, I just have to foil them.”

  “How did she know you were here in the first place?” Michael asked. “I mean, my own brother showed up and I had no idea he was coming.”

  “You were in quarantine,” Gower reminded him.

  “But . . . that’s a really good question. I mean, she called me after the first bomb went off, the one trying to kill Jeff and his father.” My brain whirred, and my stomach mentioned it was now devoid of anything and food was going to become a necessity very, very soon. “So, how did she know I was here? How, in point of fact, did anyone know I was here, other than Alfred? The only other person who had a chance of knowing I, personally, was coming was Karl Smith, and he was dead before he could mention it to anyone.”

  Something was tickling my brain. I dialed the phone. “James, you guys okay?”

  “Yeah, but we heard a huge explosion. Another attempt on Jeff’s life?”

  “No, mine and Brian’s. Stalker chick has some skills.”

  “Great.”

  “Who does Kevin think is stalking me? Does he have the person in custody?”

  Reader sighed. “Yeah, but I think he’s wrong. It’s an older woman who everyone says sort of mothers Brian. She’s mild-mannered and really doesn’t seem like a lunatic. But she’s the administrative assistant to one of the highest-ranking people here, and we’ve identified her as the one who found your cell phone number.”

  “Has she had access to a phone or a bomb trigger in the last few minutes?”

  “No, she’s been with Tim and Kevin the whole time since Kevin called us when we were at quarantine.”

  I caught Reader up on what had happened, including my upcoming Rage in the Cage. He was quiet for a few moments. “You think she’s protecting someone?”

  “Yes, because she’s not the one who called or the one who tried to turn us into crispy critters. Is she human or A-C?”

  “Human. Why would you even think she could be an A-C?”

  My brain kicked. “Is she pro or con A-Cs?”

  He sighed. “I’ll ask Alfred.” I could hear him talking in the background. “Michael, how many A-Cs work here?”

  “A few hundred.”

  “How many women?”

  “Most, really. Kennedy has the second highest female A-C population after Dulce.”

  “Baby, what are you thinking?” Martini sounded suspicious and worried. He was a lot smarter than the Dazzlers wanted to give him credit for.

  “Brian? Do you think it’s okay to date an A-C?” He was silent and looked embarrassed. “Bri, I don’t care about the answer. I won’t hate you for the answer and neither will anyone else standing here.”

  “I hate him already, so, yeah, won’t change my opinion,” Martini said, almost cheerfully.

  Brian grimaced. “I like all our A-C personnel. They’re good people. But, I just don’t think it’s . . . right . . . to cross-pollinate, if you will.”

  I nodded. “Not a surprise.” After all, the first thing he’d asked when I told him I was dating Martini was if I knew Martini was an alien. “Have you dated any A-C women?”

  “No. I wouldn’t ask someone out I didn’t want to pursue in a meaningful way.”

  “So, you’re the anti-Michael.”

  “Dying with laughter,” Michael said. But he didn’t look all that insulted. He looked as if he knew where I was going.

  Reader came back on. “Alfred says that, as far as he’s ever been able to tell, the admin pool is very positive toward A-Cs. Some of them are jealous of how the women look, but most of them get along so well with the human women that they’re pretty popular.” That made sense to me—I’d wanted to hate them, too, but couldn’t. Because they were so nice. I wanted Claudia and Lorraine to be able to marry Randy and Joe because it would make them so happy.

  “James? Ask her, gently, which A-C woman she’s protecting.”

  I could hear him talking to someone. “She won’t tell me. She’s crying, by the way, so you’re right. Again. Don’t know how you did it without me, either, girlfriend.”

  “I didn’t, that’s why I called you.”

  “Oh, good point. But we’re not closer to who it is.”

  “Or how she knew I was coming.” My brain kicked, hard. “Oh. Duh. James, ask Alfred if his admin is an A-C. And also if she happens to be in the office today.”

  “Oh, God. You re
ally think?” He was talking to someone urgently. “Hell. Yeah, she’s an A-C, and she was here, but she left before we arrived, said she was feeling sick, so before the bomb went off that put us all into lockdown. And our main suspect is looking very guilty when this gal’s name is mentioned, too.”

  “What’s her name and is she scientifically minded?”

  “Already asked. Her name is Serene, and she’s quite good with the sciences. You’ll love this—her specialties are explosives and miniaturization.”

  “I’ll bet she’s good with long-range spying and related talents, too. Why is she working as Alfred’s admin?”

  “She took the position because she said she wanted a break, and Alfred needed the help because his human admin went on maternity leave.”

  “Okay, tell Kevin that the very inaccurately named A-C is our bomb chick, and I’m going to need to get out of the building before dawn.”

  “I don’t want to know, do I, girlfriend?”

  “Probably not. I don’t know how long it’ll take us to get back to you—she tossed a huge fireball bomb at us. It’s really a good thing the place is in lockdown, because she’d have killed someone with that if it weren’t.”

  “I’ll mention it to Alfred and Kevin. Anything else?”

  “Yeah, see if Kevin can trace her phone number.” I gave it to him. “Probably a cell phone, but maybe we can GPS it or something.”

  “Maybe. If she’s got the skills, though, and it looks as if she does, she could make it untraceable.”

  “Figures. Well, try.”

  “Will do. Paul’s okay, right?”

  “And you claim you don’t care. Yes, we’re all fine. Tired, hungry, and nauseated, but that might only be me.”

  “Maybe you’re pregnant.” He snickered.

  “Anything’s possible. But I get the feeling Jeff would know before I did.”

  “Probably. Well, we’ll see you when you get here. Call if you have any more problems I can help with.”

  “Still love you best.”

  “I know, same here. Working on turning straight, I swear.”