Starting from Scratch

by Kate Lloyd

  I told Sadie and Beatrice the good news about Ralph.

  An hour later a late-teen Englisch girl strolled into the café carrying a job application. She found me and said, “Are you Eva Lapp? Stephen Troyer sent me to speak to you.”

  She placed the application in my hands. As I scanned it, I pondered how much handwriting said about a person. Hers was precisely neat, and her cursive letters were even. Annie Romano wore a dress made from a small floral-patterned fabric, making me think she was Mennonite. But she had no head covering and an Italian last name. I assumed she attended Stephen’s church, which could be liberal as far as dress. According to her application, she’d worked at three fast-food places in the past. At the bottom, Stephen had written, You have my approval to hire Annie if you like her.

  “When can you start?” I asked, thinking how much I wanted to zip out the door and check on the barn’s demise. And to see if Jake was still there. I hated that I cared so much, but I couldn’t shake my curiosity.

  “Anytime.” Annie’s short, curly brown hair framed her face. “I’d be thrilled to spend the day in such a cool café.” She surveyed the case full of food and then watched the koi swimming in graceful arcs in the pond for a moment.

  I folded the application. “How about today? Right now.”

  “Yes, okay. The place I worked at closed last week, so I’m free as a bird.”

  Ten years my junior, she looked free as a bird in her flowered dress and her rosy, blemish-free cheeks.

  I introduced Annie to Beatrice and Sadie. Beatrice’s grin stretched wide, and she whispered. “Good for you, Annie.”

  “You two know each other?”

  “Remember I told you about the young woman from my church?” Beatrice’s smile was wry. “Is there a problem?”

  “Not at all. Just caught me off guard.”

  I gave Annie a tour of our kitchen and then showed her where we stored the folded white aprons. She tied one on and got busy clearing tables and washing dishes as if it were second nature to her.

  “I dare not leave the active café until three,” I told Beatrice.

  “Go ahead.” Beatrice practically shooed me out the door. “We are more than capable of serving our customers. Stephen is coming any minute to take the extra soup across the street. Plus, I made several dozen extra sandwiches.”

  As if on cue, Stephen appeared at our back door looking disheveled, soot smudging his cheeks and clothes and mud caking his boots.

  “I figured I’d better not come in the café’s front door looking like this.” He used a paper towel to wipe his face. “No use getting myself too cleaned up since I’m going back into the mess. Wayne told you Ralph Hastings may have escaped that fire in the barn, right?”

  We all nodded, but his glance seemed to slide past mine, making me wonder if he regretted his ardent profession of affection. No, when Beatrice inserted a ladle and set a lid on the metal vat of soup, I saw he was watching me with the same expression he’d had earlier. But he said nothing. With Beatrice close at hand, we’d have to wait to continue our discussion.

  Stephen lifted the heavy vat from the stove top and stepped toward the back door.

  “Wait a minute,” Beatrice said. “I also made a tray of ham-and-cheese sandwiches. Why doesn’t Eva carry them?”

  “That would be great.” I tried to tame the anticipation in my voice.

  Beatrice led me back to the refrigerator to retrieve a tray mountained with sandwiches sliced diagonally and covered with plastic wrap. She dipped her chin. “Sorry, Eva. I should have asked your permission first to make sure it was okay. But when I saw Stephen earlier, he said making sandwiches was a good idea since we had plenty of bread, cheese, and ham.”

  “Of course it’s okay.” I lifted the heavy tray. “I wish I’d thought of it first.”

  THIRTY-FIVE

  When Stephen and I crossed the road, I caught sight of the demolished barn. My heart sank in on itself, as if I were attending a funeral. A mammoth yellow backhoe belching diesel exhaust pushed debris into heaps off to the side. Another filled a truck with blackened scraps of timber and roofing. Dozens of men, some wearing straw hats, others baseball caps and dressed Englisch, helped in the cleanup. But no Jake. He must have gone home to check on his parents and their farm.

  I followed Stephen to the tables set up for food. He placed the soup vat on several newspapers to keep the metal from melting the plastic tablecloth. I set our sandwiches down next to fruit, breads, and deviled eggs. Another table housed coffee, juice, and water.

  “I’m going to stay here,” Stephen said. “I put Mark in charge of the nursery this afternoon.” Stephen strode over to speak to Harvey and two other older men, who all seemed to be coordinating the effort.

  As I scanned the crowd for Jake, an aged Amish woman said, “You’re Eva Lapp. I’m Hannah. My husband and I own this farm.” Her hair was as snowy white as her kapp. I steeled myself as I waited for her to unleash her indignation, but instead she shook my hand.

  “Hannah, I feel terrible if in any way I caused this catastrophe.”

  “It doesn’t sound as though you did. And even if you had, we wouldn’t hold it against you. In the end, Gott will do the judging, yah?” She put out Styrofoam bowls and plastic spoons to use for the soup and a pot of beef stew sitting on a trivet.

  “Yah, but—”

  “We’re grateful to you for saving our horses and Daisy, our one remaining cow.” Her gaze lifted to the blue sky. “And we’re grateful for this beautiful sunny day. The mud may dry and grow firm by tomorrow. Bishop Harvey thinks the barn’s floor is gut enough to keep and so does the fire chief. A gift from Gott as we just replaced it six years ago. Or was it seven? When you get to my age, the years all blend together.” Her weary face divulged no animosity. “And we’re grateful for the mostly volunteer fire department, brave Englisch and Amish men who risked their lives. The Lord blessed us with no injuries.”

  I wondered how I’d react if I were in her shoes.

  “Last fire we lost our calves and two horses,” she said. “It was a bitter disappointment for my husband. But he’d already decided he wanted out of the dairy business.”

  “You never found out how the fire started?”

  “No matter. We asked the police to give up their search for the arsonist.”

  Jake sauntered over to us. “Hannah.”

  “You two know each other?” I asked.

  “Yah.” Hannah put out more paper napkins. “Jake came to us after the first fire to offer assistance as needed. He was of most help rebuilding that old barn better than it had been for years. We’d let the farm decline and were thinking about replacing the leaking roof. Fortunately, we waited.”

  “It’s gut to see you again, Hannah.” Jake wore a tool belt and a baseball cap with Phillies written on it.

  “You too. We’ve missed seeing you.”

  In other words, Jake had made peace with the Schmuckers while I’d held on to the past.

  After Hannah returned to help with the food tables, Jake spoke to me. “Could you come home with me later?” He gave me a slow smile.

  Several heads turned.

  “Shush,” I said. “Keep your voice down if you speak to me in public.”

  “But Dat keeps asking for you. I promise I’ll take you home when you want to go. And no more ice cream runs.”

  “Won’t Brandy mind?”

  “No worries there.” He took my hand right out in public, in front of all those people, but I pulled it away.

  “Sometimes I say and do the stupidest things.” Jake repositioned his baseball cap. “Although I’m afraid the father of her child will track her down. Or maybe he’s glad to be rid of her. My mamm says she can stay with us, but I told her I’d have to make sure you don’t mind.”

  “Why would I mind?” No need for him to answer. I’d been judgmental, what I’d accused others of. “Your mamm is generous to offer her a safe haven.”

  “Well?” Jake said. “May I take
you to visit my dat later? I parked the car a block away.” He tilted his head. “I’ll come by and walk you to it.”

  “Keeping up this charade is ridiculous. Everyone knows about your borrowed car and that you and I have spent time alone together.”

  “In that case, I’ll drive by to fetch you.”

  The backhoes quieted, and the drivers jumped out. Dozens of men set down shovels and rakes, removed their gloves, and spoke as brothers. The tide of workers formed two lines at the food tables. I moved to help the women serve them.

  As Mamm and I poured coffee into Styrofoam cups and offered bottled water donated by a local grocery store, the men mounded their plates with food, accepted bowls of soup and stew, and then plopped down on benches, fold-up chairs, or the ground—upon grassy spots not water soaked.

  Stephen waited in the line farthest away from me, making me wonder if he now regretted saying he was falling in love with me after seeing me with Jake.

  Bishop Harvey came through the line last.

  As the men polished off pies, cookies, and cakes, I thought of Olivia’s marvelous desserts and missed my friend. I followed the women into the house to help clean. The sink was chock-full of crusty pots and pans, which I scrubbed as another woman about my age dried. The air was melodious with female chatter and merriment. Even Hannah engaged in cheerful conversation, saying she was grateful their barn had been built so far away from the house. Twice their home had gone unscathed.

  She meandered around the kitchen and made sure everyone had been introduced. “Thank you very much,” she told each individual. I wondered if all these women were aware of my connection with the fire. If so, they kept poker faces and treated me warmly. “Hope ta see ya at church on Sunday,” one said to me as she prepared to leave.

  “We’ll be holding it in my house,” another chimed in.

  “I might keep attending in my parents’ district,” I said. Thankfully, neither woman asked if I was baptized yet. I needed to make new friends. I thought of Olivia once more, and a river of sadness sluiced through my chest. I might never see my cousin—my only confidant—again. I silently prayed for her safety, that the man she loved would treat her like the splendid young woman she was. But I knew men could be fickle. I wondered if they’d gotten married, but maybe he’d taken advantage of her innocence. Or had that time long ago passed by?

  After four hours, we were again serving the hardworking men a light supper. They scarfed up the sandwiches Beatrice had assembled, and canned fruit and applesauce, followed by cookies and fruit-filled tarts.

  The uniformed fire chief cruised by the barn for another inspection. After meticulous scrutiny, he pronounced the barn’s floor still sound enough to build on. Finding all in order, he moseyed over to the food tables, chomped into a sandwich, and then chatted with the men, comparing various barn fires over the years.

  As the azure-blue sky faded, Mamm and Dat gathered with their neighbors to board a hired passenger van. I ran over to say goodbye.

  When I returned to Hannah’s kitchen ten minutes later, most of the women had gone home to look after their children and prepare more food for the next day.

  Our soup vat sat empty—a good sign. Beatrice would be pleased. I told Hannah I’d take it to the café to be cleaned. I needed to make a sweep through the café anyway to make sure all was prepared for the morning.

  I tried to leave unobserved, but to no avail. News of the barn fire had traveled across the county and brought motorists and buggies to this seldom-used road. My arms wrapped around the vat, I initiated my crossing, but a car stopped in my path. I tried to walk behind it, but it backed up, and then rolled forward again. I was about to ask one of the men for assistance, when Olivia popped her head up. “Yoo-hoo!” She giggled like a teenager through the opened window.

  Attempting to see who sat behind the steering wheel, I lowered my head. But the man angled his face away from me and raced away until the the car was out of sight.

  THIRTY-SIX

  Psst. Evie.” I recognized Jake’s voice as I returned to the cabin after scrubbing out the soup vat in the café’s kitchen.

  Jake hustled around me to the front door and blocked my way. “Hey, did you forget about me?”

  As if I could. “I don’t want to be seen leaving with an Englisch man, not after meeting those nice women at Hannah’s. And Bishop Harvey’s still here. Surely he’d see.” Not to mention Stephen. Ach, he and I could never be wed. Although I was yet to be baptized so I wouldn’t be shunned from the church…

  “I could offer Harvey a ride home,” Jake said.

  “Please don’t.”

  “Why not? Today I didn’t see his buggy—an easy one to recognize. Someone must have dropped him off this morning.” Jake took my fingertips and guided me toward the road. “Come on. My parents will be so disappointed if you don’t come. I promised to bring you.”

  “Why did you do that without my agreeing first?” I withdrew my hand.

  With audacity, he strode over to the barn. I followed, but I stopped short of joining him when he found Harvey. The two men chatted in what seemed to be an amicable conversation, and then they strode toward me. Harvey raised a hand to greet me—the opposite of what I’d expected.

  “I thank you for the ride, Jake, but don’t take this as an indication I approve of your driving a car,” Harvey said.

  “Yah, I understand. Denki for coming to see Dat first. Unless you’d rather go straight home?”

  “Nee, I look forward to seeing your parents. I should have visited Amos days ago.”

  Minutes later, Jake had us in the sedan and was chauffeuring us to his family home. I insisted on sitting in the backseat, behind Harvey. Harvey removed his black hat and placed it on his lap.

  “A visit from you will bless my parents greatly.” Jake turned on the headlights. “I have to warn you not to expect too much from my dat. Sometimes he falls asleep even when someone’s speaking to him.”

  “I won’t take it personally.” Harvey chortled. “Many a man has nodded off during one of my sermons.”

  I held in my laughter, but Jake guffawed. “They were probably just overly tired.”

  Harvey cleared his throat. “Speaking of church, I’m concerned that you two aren’t yet baptized. How about you, Eva?”

  I squirmed as he tried to peer over his shoulder at me. “I’m waiting…” Jake must have turned up the heat because I was sweltering.

  “To see if Jake wants to marry you?”

  Humiliated, I felt as if my mouth were clogged with oatmeal.

  “Eva, if he doesn’t join the church, then you’d leave your family and community and live in the Englisch world with him?”

  “I might.” There, I’d stated the truth.

  “You might leave us? If you had children, how would you want them raised? Without your parents and community close by?”

  Jake fingered the steering wheel, making me think he was as nervous as I was.

  “Jake, are you planning to marry Eva?”

  “Yah.” Jake stared straight ahead, searching for traffic or maybe to avoid Harvey’s intense eyes. “If she’ll have me.”

  I sat forward, scooted to the middle of the seat, and spoke in his ear. “But you said you might marry Brandy.”

  “I told you. I didn’t mean it.”

  Harvey’s words turned harsh. “You’d joke about the holy sacrament of marriage, Jake?”

  “You see, my friend’s little schweschder is pregnant.” Jake swerved to pass a slow-moving buggy. “I’m not the father, but I told Evie if she wouldn’t marry me, then I’d marry the girl to give her child a father. I admit I said it out of spite, because Evie’s the only girl I’ve ever loved. I only brought Brandy to Lancaster County to protect her from her abusive boyfriend.”

  “Shouldn’t the girl go back home?” Harvey said.

  “Her parents kicked her out. And her boyfriend wants her to have an abortion even at this late date. She’s due to give birth in a couple of months.”<
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  “Ach, the world is a grievous place.” Harvey slouched. “Jake, what’s stopping you from joining the church and courting Eva properly? Your Englisch haircut and fancy clothes?”

  Jake tossed his baseball cap into the backseat.

  “This your car?” Harvey swiveled in his seat to face Jake.

  “No.” Jake stared out the windshield at an oncoming buggy. “I borrowed it so I could come see my dat in a hurry. I have to return it.”

  “But you did own a car at one time, did you not? The lad who bought it drove into a telephone pole and died, yah?”

  After a moment of silence, a tear rolled down Jake’s cheek. I’d never seen him cry. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. “If only I hadn’t sold him that car, Lester would still be alive.”

  “Maybe. Only Gott knows the future. Lester might have bought a different vehicle and done the exact same thing.” Harvey’s voice was somber, as if recalling the funeral. “If you feel you sinned, repent and attempt to sin no more. Our Lord is quick to forgive.”

  The car was a tomb of silence for several minutes. I knew we were all sinners. I needed to forgive Jake and all others who might have hurt me through their gossip. Ignoring them hadn’t healed my pain or resentment.

  “Okay, yah. I want to be baptized and marry Evie.” Jake slowed as we neared his parents’ farm.

  “Not so quick,” Harvey said. “I caution you not to take the baptism classes until you’ve given it careful thought. This last week back with your parents, I’ve noticed a new stability in you, but you must prove it’s permanent before I or any minister baptizes you.”

  He craned his neck to speak to me, but I moved closer to the window. “Same goes for you, Eva. You seem insecure. As if what others think of you is all-important.”

  He had me pegged. I sank into my seat and wished I could vanish into the upholstery.

  “But marrying Jake won’t fix anything unless your faith in Gott matures. His opinion is the most important.”

  Jake stopped the car and turned off the engine, but he didn’t remove the key. “So if I’m stable and Evie’s faith matures, we can be baptized?”