Starting from Scratch

by Kate Lloyd

  “Evie, that guest room you’re in has a phone right by the bed.”

  “Okay. I hadn’t noticed.” Were phones in the house becoming second nature to me now? I’d been so dazzled by all the frivolous items in the room I hadn’t spotted it. I knew I was being sucked into the Englisch world. I might as well have been a dust ball being swept by a whisk broom. In the future, could I be satisfied living without its tantalizing amenities?

  The moment Stephen left, I double bolted the kitchen door. Surely I would be safe tonight.

  I mounted the staircase to the second floor still wearing the coat. Standing in the guestroom, I hugged myself. Never had I felt more luxurious fabric. Even the pockets were lined with satin. As I reluctantly removed the garment and hung it up in the closet, I glanced at its label. The cloth was half wool and half alpaca. Ach, I would never be permitted by the Ordnung to own such an extravagant coat.

  Despite my determination to banish Jake from my mind tonight, my thoughts looped back to him. I envisioned his delivering Brandy’s baby and felt admiration for him. He was a capable man when he wanted to be. But the truth was, I had no control over his behavior. What would life be like living with an unstable man, as opposed to a conscientious man who had overcome his demon—alcohol—like Stephen? Who wasn’t Amish.

  Where would I find my answer?

  FORTY-FIVE

  The next morning, crows outside my window woke me. For a moment I didn’t know where I was. Rays of light shone through the flowered curtains, illuminating the room with vibrant hues of plum and cerise. I was tempted to jump up and watch the sunrise, but I enjoyed my snuggly nest too much. I looked forward to having this time to myself.

  My thoughts meandered as they wished. I decided when I finally built my dream house it would have a room with a view the way the home I grew up in did. My view had been of a cornfield and gently rolling hills and farms behind it for as far as the eye could see. But I should be content with my cabin for now.

  Perhaps sleeping in this Englisch bed was akin to sinking into quicksand—soft and cushy but deadly. Never had I experienced such luxury. Would I ever be satisfied again sleeping on a bumpy old single mattress? I pulled the silky sheets up around my face.

  I’d tried several new adventures recently.

  After my one abysmal attempt at driving, would I ever give it another try? The answer was maybe I would. I figured I could handle driving with lessons from a real instructor. When I recalled everything I’d learned since working in the fabric store and then the café, I assured myself I could conquer anything. And I could learn to live without Jake.

  Barking and yapping erupted from the kitchen, followed by the voices of Stephen and Beatrice. I’d meant to be dressed when they arrived, and now I needed to hurry.

  I leaped from the bed. “I’ll be there in a minute,” I yelled down to the kitchen.

  In the bathroom, I washed my face, but before I could get fully dressed, Beatrice knocked at my door. I opened it, and she said, “Yoo-hoo. Sleeping in?”

  “Ach, I neglected to set the alarm clock.” I parted my hair and pulled it back into a bun. “Truth is, that bed is so comfortable I didn’t want to leave it.”

  “Not content with your single bed in the cabin anymore?” Her question startled me.

  “Of course. I’m fine.” But I was already questioning my statement as I envisioned tonight in the cabin.

  Beatrice tilted her head. “I have to wonder about you. You’ve blamed Jake for everything. Is he really the reason you haven’t gotten baptized?”

  “Ach, I don’t know anymore.”

  “When Jake got home last night, he told us all about Brandy’s baby. How exciting is that? She named the little girl after you and Ruth. But mostly after you, Eva, according to Jake. I got the distinct impression he wants a child of his own now.”

  I turned to her to assess her open expression. “But will he marry an Amish or an Englisch woman?”

  “That is yet to be seen.”

  “He didn’t say anything to you?”

  “Maybe his parents will have more influence than you think. I was watching him out the window this morning, and he looked content plowing the field with the mules.”

  “But would he rather have been plowing with motorized machinery?”

  “That I cannot answer.” Beatrice drew up her shoulders. “He let slip he feels inadequate as a farmer compared to his father. Probably because Amos often ridiculed him in the past. But it seems as if Jake wants to stick around and learn.”

  “I almost forgot to ask how Amos is doing.”

  “He’s plopped on the easy chair again. I’m glad I stayed to help Ruth. She really can’t lift him by herself, and despite my extra pounds I’m strong. They could have both fallen.”

  “I don’t understand why someone from the Amish community hasn’t come to her aid, even if Amos has been rude to them in the past. So what? Are we not admonished to love our neighbor?”

  “Good questions for Harvey if he comes into the café today.” She sent me a wry grin. “Have you noticed he’s been hanging around the nursery more than usual?” All the lines in her face curved up. “You know he’s a widower, don’t you? His daughters cook for him and keep house, but his eldest son and his wife also live in the area and are hoping Harvey will remarry. Don’t be surprised if Harvey invites you over for supper in the near future to meet his family. He’s hinted he plans to.”

  “Are you serious? He’s never said a thing.” I caught sight of myself in the mirror and saw a woman wearing an expression of shock, her mouth gaping open.

  Beatrice said, “Why would he if he knows you’re pining over Jake?” She straightened the bed. “I’ve known Harvey for a long time, and he’s a fine man who wouldn’t pressure you if you adored someone else. But he might have become enamored with you in spite of himself. He might think you and Jake make an unlikely couple and will give up on each other.”

  Astonished as I was, I spent a moment contemplating Harvey. He was a fine man and well established in the community. If I married a bishop, surely others would respect me, and gossip would be laid aside. Maybe. I supposed rumors would continue to circulate one way or another.

  If and when Harvey came in today, I might accept his invitation should he ask me. Or maybe Beatrice had her facts all mixed up.

  I was glad Stephen wasn’t there when we went downstairs for breakfast.

  Later, as I prepared soup in the café, a tentative rapping on the back door snagged my attention. With all the crazy circumstances of the last week gyrating through my brain, I hesitated.

  “Who is it?” I spoke through the door.

  “Olivia.”

  Deplorable scenarios came to mind, but when I opened the door, I found her dressed Amish, a kapp covering her head. “What happened?” floundered out of my mouth.

  “I moved home, to my real home with my parents. Thankfully, they forgave me and let me come in as long as I don’t do anything idiotic again.” She draped her arms around my neck and said, “Ach, irresponsible is the only word for the way I’ve been acting.”

  I pulled her into the kitchen and repeated my question. “What happened?”

  “Other than scraping my landlady’s fender in the supermarket parking lot on the way home?”

  “Ach, you didn’t.” My desire to drive a car again evaporated like dew under the blazing sun.

  “The car was nothing compared to what Butch did to me.” She blotted her eyes with the corner of her apron. “When I got home last night, he was gone.”

  “You mean just not home yet?”

  “Nee. All his belongings were gone too. He’d scribbled out a note saying he wasn’t coming back. No forwarding address. He left me with the rent, that dirty rat.”

  “I’m so sorry. At least your parents let you come home. And I’m delighted to have you back, my dear cousin and best friend. I thought I’d lost you forever.” Now I was the woman with tears seeping out of her eyes.

  “But ju
st look at me. I’m a freak. Thank goodness the beautician left enough bangs to part them in the middle, but they won’t stay in place unless I plaster them with hair gel and use bobby pins. I might have to hide out at home for six months.” Her eyes were pink and swollen. “Can you ever forgive me, Evie? I’m so sorry for the mean-spirited things I said to you. And I was leading you into temptation. Ach, I’ve been such a fool.”

  “In a few weeks it won’t seem so bad. You still know how to cook like a master chef.”

  “Here’s something I didn’t tell you,” she said. “You may have heard that someone was vandalizing the nursery a while back. Last week, Butch admitted to doing it because he thought Glenn Yoder was coming on to me, when in fact he never did, not once. Glenn and I are like siblings.”

  “What gives?” Sadie said as she entered the back door. “Is that you, Olivia?”

  “Well, of course it is.” I knew Sadie wasn’t fooled, and I didn’t appreciate her making fun of Olivia. Then it occurred to me Sadie thought Olivia was coming in here to work this morning.

  Olivia must have picked up the same vibes. “Don’t you two worry about my trying to steal either of your jobs. I’m officially grounded, except my parents let me come today to apologize to Evie in person.”

  “But you can still cook better than I do,” Sadie said.

  Olivia fiddled with miscreant bangs slipping out beneath her kapp. “I heard your baking is excellent.”

  “It is,” I said. “As long as Sadie wishes to bake, we’ll buy her pastries.”

  Sadie’s gaze slid away from mine. “If I didn’t have to bake so many whoopie pies, it wouldn’t break my heart one bit. I’ve been seeing someone…”

  Olivia giggled, sounding like the girl I’d once known. “You have a suitor?”

  “I’d rather not say. But I’m staying up later these days.”

  “To meet someone?” Olivia’s eyes brightened, and her voice rose an octave. “Anyone I know?”

  Although I was dying to hear Sadie’s answers, I stepped in to interfere. “Now, Olivia, you know better than to pry.”

  “I know better than to do a lot of things, but it doesn’t seem to stop me. Ach, I still acted like a blockhead.” She looked to me, her face turning solemn. “Are you getting baptized soon?”

  “Maybe.”

  “You and I can take the classes together and get baptized at the same time.”

  “That would be fun if it works out.” We clasped each other for a quick embrace, and then she was gone. I never did ask how she’d arrived, but I decided it was best I didn’t know.

  FORTY-SIX

  The next morning, Harvey was one of our first patrons. “Eva, may I have a word with you?”

  “Of course. What can I do for you?” I assumed he’d heard about last night’s altercation and about my sleeping in the Yoders’ house.

  “I have a busy day ahead,” he told me, “but I wanted to get in here early to ask you to come over for supper this evening to meet my family.”

  “Are you sure? Couldn’t we speak here?”

  “Nee. My dochders wish to meet you.” He patted his beard the way Dat did when he was pondering a weighty subject. The two men must be near the same age.

  “Ach, have you told them about me?” I served him coffee. “Or have they heard the rumors and want to check me out for themselves?”

  “Nothing like that. I mentioned I’ve been coming in here…”

  I couldn’t face more disapproval. He must have recognized hesitance in my demeanor.

  “Please. They begged me to bring you home.” He sipped a mouthful. “So I suggested tonight. If you’re free.”

  “I have no other plans. In fact, I was hoping you’d come in so I could talk to you about baptism classes.”

  His smile lines deepened. “That’s wunderbaar news. Do you wish to become baptized in this district or your parents’? Although their bishop has been ailing with gout.”

  “What do you think? I now live in this district, but would it be awkward for me to get baptized in one of your church services?”

  He settled himself at a nearby table and beckoned me to sit across from him. “To answer your question, not at all. But if you prefer that one of the other ministers baptizes you, I can arrange that. I only want what’s best for you.”

  I was touched by his kindness and consideration.

  “Give it some thought during the course of the day,” he said.

  “You said I’d have to wait—”

  “Or show me that you truly want to join the church with all your heart. Getting baptized is like marriage. It’s a lifetime commitment. Are you ready to pledge yourself to obey the teachings of the Bible and the Ordnung?”

  “Yah.” I would erase the Yoders’ guest room and the extravagant coat from my memory. I was done dabbling with the Englisch world. Ach, I was done with nonsense about driving a car and reading Englisch books that lured me to another continent.

  He leaned closer to me, and I felt the force of his gaze. “I’ll come by at six o’clock and pick you up. We can discuss it more on the way to my home.” He looked right into my eyes as if trying to read my thoughts. Or connect with me? Maybe he’d always gazed at me with intensity, but I hadn’t noticed earlier. Maybe I’d been intimidated or been glancing away because I thought he was judging me.

  “Oh.”

  “Eva, you seem reluctant to join us for supper.”

  “It’s just… You caught me off guard.”

  “Tell you what. I’ll come earlier. If you’ve changed your mind, we’ll discuss your baptism. In any case, please don’t go to any trouble. Our suppers are casual. My dochders will be wearing their everyday clothes. Come just as you’re dressed today.”

  I stuck out one foot, and he smiled down at my Nikes.

  “Those shoes are fine. Well, not for your baptism. But as I said, suppers are casual in our home. We usually kick off our shoes when we enter the house.”

  I saw my reflection in his spectacles and wondered how he viewed me. I hoped as another daughter and not a convenient surrogate mother to his children? Ach, he couldn’t harbor ardor in his heart, making him wish to kiss me with that huge beard. I could barely see his lips. But if Jake got baptized and we married, he’d be required to wear a beard too. For the rest of his life.

  Harvey glanced up at the wall clock above the cash register and got to his feet. Our few Englisch customers watched him, and yet none dared bring out a camera. The man commanded respect.

  “See you, Eva.” He replaced his black hat and pushed in his chair.

  “All right.”

  Minutes later, as Beatrice and I stood behind the counter, her face beamed as she arranged muffins on a plate and set it on a tray for Sadie to deliver to a table. I tapped my elbow against hers. “Did you put that supper invitation into Harvey’s head?”

  “I can’t insert a random idea into a man’s brain that isn’t already percolating. He brought up the subject. And apparently you didn’t discourage him.”

  My mind filled with apprehension. “How many children does he have again?”

  “One married son with young children of his own, who lives in a small house near Harvey. Two of his four daughters are in rumspringa and of marrying age, and two are still in school and in need of a woman’s guidance. A ready-made family.”

  Reality struck. “What have I gone and done? I don’t want to marry him and be a grandma yet or raise another woman’s children.”

  “Sounds fun to me.” Beatrice cut a dill pickle in half and laid it on a plate as a garnish.

  I lowered my volume. “But I want to have my own children.”

  “I never could. Not for lack of trying.” For the first time I saw Beatrice blush, but I pretended not to notice. “Maybe Harvey’s girls don’t want their father to be lonely. Or they simply want to meet you. At least be courteous enough to go.”

  That afternoon, a lanky Englisch man strode into the café asking for me. “If you’re Eva Lapp, I’ve b
rought someone to see you,” he said as I strolled out to greet him.

  I couldn’t imagine who he was. I scanned the room and asked, “Where?”

  “Out in the parking lot in my car.”

  After all the uncertainty in my life over the last couple of weeks, I wondered if I should summon Stephen or someone else to accompany me. I held my ground and asked, “Who are you?”

  “Jeff Mallory. Brandy’s oldest brother.”

  “Ach, is there something wrong with Brandy?”

  “Nope, but she insisted I drive by here on the way out of town to say goodbye. And show you her newborn.”

  “Really? Oh, yes! I’d love to see her baby.”

  Following Jeff, I traipsed across the parking lot to his sedan. Its engine was running. Brandy lowered her window for a minute and waved. “Hey, Eva! Come and meet little Eva.”

  In a car seat in the back slept a precious baby swaddled in pink blankets. I rounded the car and got in the backseat to get a closer view.

  “Ach, she’s perfectly beautiful.” Taking in her angelic features, I inhaled the sweet, unique fragrance only a baby could produce and yearned for one of my own. “But shouldn’t you two still be in the hospital?”

  “The doctor says I must have gotten my dates mixed up because your namesake appears to have arrived exactly on time. I never was good at math or watching the calendar.”

  “That’s a lame excuse for getting pregnant,” Jeff said. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you the facts of life?”

  I ignored the siblings’ squabble. “You’re so beautiful,” I told my namesake. “I’ve never had a baby named after me. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am.” My hands naturally reached out to straighten her knit hat and fluff the blankets around her neck. More than anything, I wanted to rock my own baby in my arms. “I’d better not wake her up,” I said with hesitancy, because I was dying to. “She looks so peaceful.”