The Unforgiven Sin

by R. Twine

  Escorted by the stares of those present, we went out of the hall. Leaning against the wall, I waited for Bruce to start the conversation. He was standing opposite me, and I could hear him breathing unevenly. ‘‘He’s so close to me!’’ I thought. We stood looking at each other, and our eyes spoke volumes. Then he took my hands in his and whispered, ‘I’d like us to meet again, Miriam, if you don’t mind. I like you very much but I’m not one to foist myself on others, so if you don’t feel like dating me – just tell me.’

  ‘I’d like that too, Bruce. For starters, let’s exchange our phone numbers…’

  ‘You’re an extraordinarily beautiful girl; it’s simply impossible not to notice you. You’re so different from the others…’ he said, tenderly squeezing my fingers.

  I listened to Bruce without interrupting him because I liked what he was saying. His eyes wandered over my face and then descended upon my breasts that were rather big for my age. Bruce leaned over my neck, and whispered, ‘You smell so damn good…it’s so hard to tear away from you!’

  Our eyes met, and this time he was looking at me quite differently. Bruce pressed his body against mine, and I felt him shuddering.

  ‘Bruce…’ I said under my breath – and his lips covered mine at that very moment. My head went dizzy, I felt like I was about to fall down.

  ‘Miriam!’ Elian’s voice brought me back to reality. She was staring at us, eyes wide-open.

  ‘It’s time for us to go,’ I whispered in a hoarse voice.

  Bruce buried his fingers in his hair and said, ‘See you soon.’

  On my way home I was thinking about this handsome guy. Bruce occupied my thoughts completely.

  ****

  The New Year holidays went quickly by, but there wasn’t a single telephone call from Bruce. I told everything to Natalie, and asked if she had seen him at school. Nat put me off with platitudes. ‘Forget it, Miriam. Bruce is not worth worrying about. If he needed you, he would call you. Or, at least, he might have asked me.’

  ‘Yes, you’re right,’ I agreed, and made up my mind not to talk about him anymore.

  I saw that Natalie avoided giving direct answers; she clearly didn’t like my enquiries. Our relationship chilled for the first time in many years. After that party she changed, and tried to avoid seeing me. I was very upset: she and Elian were the only friends I had.

  ‘Miriam, I know it’s not my business, but I’d like to ask you if you’re dating Bruce,’ Elian asked me one day.

  ‘No, I’m not. We haven’t seen each other since that Christmas party; I haven’t heard from him since then,’ I replied, sadness in my voice.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said with a sigh. ‘I thought something serious was starting between you and him, but he turned out to be just like the rest of the boys – they are prone to forget you after the first date. It’s just that I saw you were sad, that’s why I was asking you.’

  ‘It must’ve been just a passing attraction, that’s all. Maybe these things happen quite often, but, to tell you frankly, I feel offended that he never called me. I thought he really liked me.’

  ‘Heartthrobs pass very quickly, Miriam. Many people date for months but then act as if they don’t know each other; it all looks rather like a show-case love. Their feelings are kind of superficial and phony.’

  ‘Yes, you’re right,’ I agreed.

  ‘I’ve got a suspicion that nobody will ever fall in love with me because guys don’t even look at me… And I often blush for no reason at all. I feel some invisible tongs squeezing my body so hard that I can hardly breathe. But this is the least of my worries now. It’s better to be alone, because loneliness doesn’t bring disappointment. Don’t love anybody if nobody loves you,’ said Elian.

  ‘You are very shy. Try to become more confident,’ I said, trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible. I longed to get back home; my spirits were down. I felt I was in need of being alone with my thoughts.

  My heart and my soul ached. I took the photo album; looking at me out of its pages were my happy parents. I was caressing carefully their faces on glossy paper. Unforgettable moments began waking up in my memory; those were the moments we had spent together. I put the emerald ring on my finger and started looking at the jewel, trying to find consolation. The green rays it emanated lit up my face, and the pain lying heavily on my heart began to ease off gradually.

  ‘Mommy, I’m so lonely without you. It was only with you that I could share what is gnawing at my heart. It was so early that you left me alone in this world. Maybe, it’s my teenage phase and physiological changes that I’m suffering from,’ I said quietly.

  There was one more reason for me to feel pain in my heart: Natalie was drifting away from me. She’d changed so much…

  Suddenly I heard a noise behind my back. It was the little angel hovering in the air. He was fanning me with his wings while pointing at the door. When we went down to the hall he returned to the picture on the wall. Once again, I heard the voice calling me. I hastily put on my coat, and quietly went out into the street.

  Mom’s tender voice called me again, and I went deep into the garden. Myriads of stars were sparkling high above, and I had a feeling that the darkness of the night was beckoning me.

  ‘Miriam…’ I heard a voice close by.

  I turned round and saw my Mom standing in the light of the full moon.

  ‘How do you do, my dear daughter? At long last, the time has come for us to meet again,’ she said, smiling. ‘I’m so glad to see you! I never stopped thinking about you. I know how lonely you are, I know that you need help, and I’ll try to do all my best to help you.’

  ‘Mom, I miss you so much!’

  ‘We miss you, too, my darling. There’ve been a lot of changes in your life since we had to go. Unfortunately, not all of them were changes for the better, but bad things do happen, too. There’s no remedy for it. Sometimes people have to face the most difficult situations in order to fulfill their mission on Earth. There are no easy ways. Often, evil looks like good, while good looks like evil. The time’s coming when it’ll be impossible to tell one from the other. You’ll have to encounter lies, pain and treachery, and it is only through this that you’ll finally find out the truth! My dear daughter, man will come to understand his predestination only when he overcomes his hardships.’

  ‘Mommy, why do I have to face these hardships alone?’ I asked.

  ‘You are not alone, Miriam,’ my mother replied, and stretched out her hand to me. ‘Let’s go.’

  There was a sudden change around me: night turned into day, while the moon and the stars disappeared.

  ‘Where are we?’

  ‘In a parallel world, to which souls descend from the skies,’ my mother explained.

  I saw my father coming towards us with a red rose in his hand.

  ‘Dear daughter, I’m very happy to see you,’ he said, giving me the flower.

  I heard a noise behind me. I felt the touch of the wind. I spun around, and saw a giant eagle with a big beak; he folded his enormous wings and looked at us with his black eyes.

  ‘This is Cliff. He’s my eagle. He’s going to carry us to high mountains,’ said a little old woman who sat on top of the bird.

  Her unkempt gray hair fluttered in the wind. She was old, but her fine features still remained as a reminder of her faraway youth.

  We clambered up the giant eagle on his wing which he lowered to the ground to help us. And in a moment the bird was winging its way through the air.

  ‘Where are we flying?’ I asked my mother. ‘And who is this woman?’

  ‘This woman is one of your great-great grandmothers. She knows a lot of secrets. In our family there were only a few women who were initiated in the secrets.’

  The eagle was climbing through the snow-white clouds until he reached the top of a mountain.

  ‘We’ve reached our destination,’ said the old woman. ‘They are expecting us.’

  ‘Dad, aren’t you going with us
?’ I asked.

  ‘No, I’m not allowed to. I’ll wait for you here.’

  The apex was covered with snow, and the sky seemed to be hanging right above our heads. We walked in the direction of a giant cave.

  ‘You are welcome; please, come in,’ said the old woman, pointing her walking stick at the entrance.

  I could see the fire burning inside the cave, its red flames illuminating the dark space. As I approached the fire, I saw women standing around it; they turned their faces towards us.

  ‘The women present here are your relatives by blood. Some of them – and you, too – carry the spirit of the woman who became the foremother of Humanity,’ the old woman said. ‘Eve’s soul would often leave its abode and return to Earth to fulfill the role she had been destined for. My dear child, this incarnation of Eve’s soul in your body is going to be the last one. Therefore there’s a very important life path lying ahead of you.’ And, to make her point, the old lady struck the ground with her staff.

  So I found myself among all these women; they were of a different age, dressed in different clothes. Undoubtedly, they were going to forewarn me of the dangers that lay ahead.

  ‘What can I do for you?’ I asked.

  ‘Not for us, Miriam, but for the generations to come,’ said the oldest of them, sitting on a big throne. Her beautiful old face was kind, and she was emanating a wave of tenderness. ‘According to predictions, our family ends with you, and this means that when your soul leaves Earth, original sin will leave along with it forever. Incarnations will become fewer in number, making way for a foundation of a new civilization. But there’s one very important aspect you must always be mindful of: if Satanail takes possession of your flesh and blood he will undoubtedly use them to create “new people” in his image and likeness. The Kingdom of Darkness will take possession of the Earth, and it will become an obstacle on the way towards the new civilization the Creator is grooming you for.’

  ‘Should this happen, the entire planet will be engulfed with wars which will take innumerable lives,’ said another woman, standing on the right hand side of the oldest one. ‘The cross-breed of human’s immortal soul and Satanail’s seed will breed monsters mankind will never be able to get rid of...’

  ‘And if your baby gets a dominant gene of destruction from Satanail, it will start influencing people in such a way that they will begin turning into real monsters…’ added still another woman, clad in black clothes.

  ‘These creatures turned into monsters will start proliferating all over cosmic space, generating ruin and destruction… The entire Universe will be in for endless wars,’ said the old woman with a walking stick in her hands.

  ‘But how can I possibly become pregnant from Satanail?’ I asked, bewildered. ‘Rubbish! It’s impossible!’

  ‘That’s why we are here: to warn you of the danger. You have to practice discrimination in your relationships. Never forget that evil may pose in the guise of good! Miriam, we hope this will never happen,’ an old woman in a white gown said quietly.

  Silence fell. There was only the whispering of the fire.

  ‘But how on earth can he do it?’

  ‘He always has a lot of methods at his disposal… You have to be careful, Miriam,’ reiterated the old lady with a walking stick. ‘Satanail and his demons are watching you almost all the time.’

  ‘You must not have children from him, and in order not to let this happen under any circumstances, you have to be responsible in your future choices. Satanail is capable of acquiring any human form and acting through it; he will not leave you alone until he gets what he wants,’ said a tall and beautiful woman who had been silent until that moment.

  ‘You have to know what your predestination is! It’s about the offspring you’re going to leave after you’re gone. It’s about the people who will be much stronger,’ took up a woman in black dress. ‘People who will be capable of conquering evil. If the gene of godliness happens to prevail in a human being, there’ll be no more wars on the Earth; there’ll be no more incarnations. New people will become capable of living forever!’

  ‘There are people, Miriam, who are strong in character; they are capable of opposing evil! These are powerful geniuses. They exist to free mankind of dependence, so that man can acquire his long-awaited freedom from the King of Darkness. If everything goes as planned from above, such strong personalities will survive, and the sway Satanail holds over human beings will be eliminated forever. Satanail must be toppled by man himself – that’s when The Day of Judgement will come! This will become the End of Times and the beginning of another epoch! Heavenly life is going to set in on Earth; the strong will lay the foundation for a new civilization which will reunite with its Creator. This civilization is going to be the last one on Earth, and it will be truly happy!’ said the woman, getting up from her throne. She came up to me and looked with her sharp green eyes right into my soul.

  ‘But the offspring to whom you will give birth after you have descended upon the Earth, shall have to gradually leave this world,’ said the old woman with a staff, breaking the silence. ‘Your coming is destined to turn back the course of history in order to correct all previous mistakes.’

  ‘Millions of years will pass before the planet leaves its orbit to be destroyed by outer space. And those people who will have remained on it by then will be transferred to angelic abodes,’ explained the old lady with a staff.

  ‘But in order for this to happen you have to be very careful. You must be aware of the fact that Satanail is the most cunning creature in the entire Universe!’ said the woman who looked the youngest among those present. ‘He’s capable of resorting to numerous tricks to mislead you. Always try to avoid underhand tricks; inexplicable passion, craving and appetence may turn out to be a trap. Don’t forget it!’

  ‘He didn’t look to me as cruel an angel as you described him,’ I observed.

  ‘From the very beginning, when people first appeared on Earth, he was fuelling their anger and hostility. This went on from civilization to civilization, generating ever bigger evil. By doing so, he cherished the goal of making humans kill as many of their own kind as possible. The King of Darkness found great pleasure in watching people slaughter each other in endless hostilities because this phenomenon was non-existent either in Heaven or in his demonic kingdom. He realized that human creatures were very strong, hence Satanail’s desire to dominate people; he wants to obtain from man his immortal soul and strength in order to be able to wield them totally on his own. It is for this very purpose that he wants to create a new civilization by infesting people – through his seed – with his spirit of destruction which will generate still bigger evil…’ She fixed me with her sharp eyes. ‘Satanail is capable of changing man and transforming him the way he wants to see him: that is to say cruel and immortal, just like he is himself…’ The woman in black clothes fell silent.

  ‘I know you’re worried that your friend Natalie is drifting away from you, aren’t you?’ my mother asked.

  ‘She’s the only living soul I can be sincere with, and it’s a great pity that a wall of misunderstanding appeared between us,’ I sighed.

  ‘Look!’ The old lady threw her walking stick into the fire, and in a moment I saw images changing one another.

  I saw Natalie’s birth - under the auspices of a giant angel who stood close by, his palm on her forehead. I saw Natalie moving with her parents into a small house standing not far away from ours. I saw Natalie, age eight, whispering in my ear, “You’re like a sister to me, Miriam. I’ll never leave you alone. I’ll always protect you, just like an older sister should.” I remembered that moment very well. Natalie loved and protected me as best she could without even suspecting that her coming to Earth was linked to my birth. It wasn’t a mere coincidence that we had met each other.

  The fire danced; its red tongues of flame close to me. I was part of the circle of women who sang and danced in a ring, hand in hand. My Mom and the old lady disappeared somewhere, le
aving me alone in the middle of this strange ring. Suddenly the women’s eyes turned into black holes, making their faces look frightening. They were shouting out incoherent words with ever increasing loudness. The echo of the violent dance and weird voices reverberated throughout the entire cave, shaking its stone walls. The women were becoming increasingly ugly. They laughed loudly, reaching out for me with their bony hands. Surrounded by their ring, I couldn’t get through them. I covered my face with my palms and screamed, panic-stricken.

  The mysterious women vanished into thin air, and I was left alone at last. The rose my father had given me was lying under my feet. I took it up and ran towards the exit. Suddenly a dull sound shook the cave. I looked up and saw black shadows hovering over me. They were circling right above my head, grabbing me by my hair and arms. A heartrending scream came from behind, and all of a sudden the entire cave flared up with a bright light. But in a moment everything was gone.

  Outside the cave I saw my father who was standing all alone. The expression on his face stunned me; it was contorted with fear. He waved to me, and vanished into thin air. The eagle was waiting for me where he had been before, and soon we were flying through the clouds. Cold wind was piercing my body, but I was happy to be going back home. The magic bird touched the ground. I jumped off it, and in a moment the eagle took off and flew away, casting its shadow upon the giant round moon.

  Chapter 17

  ‘I’d like to give you my apologies, Miriam,’ said Natalie, with a guilty look on her face. ‘I’m very sorry, but it’s my fault that Bruce didn’t call you…’

  And she began telling me how it all happened. She went into such minute and picturesque details, describing the episode that I was able to see it quite vividly, as if I had seen it with my own eyes.

  ‘Natalie someone’s come to visit you,’ Lynn called to Natalie; she was Nat’s mother.