My Only

by Sophia Duane

  I wasted no time asking her grandparents if I could take her.

  She worked Sunday night, and I didn’t so I took the opportunity to visit with the Cartwrights. After I’d gathered enough nerve to knock on their door, the rest was easy. I was a very logical person and I assumed her grandparents were, too. Her grandmother was a bit more emotional, but I was sure her grandfather could balance the scales.

  Sitting in the living room, surrounded by al of the things the Cartwrights had col ected over the course of their lives, I felt a sense of calm settle over me. It felt amazing to just be able to talk and not worry about what they were going to think. I had absolute confidence that I’d be al owed to take her to the dance.

  I started off by thanking them for letting me date Olivia and I launched into my campaign. “I know how you feel about her exerting herself too much, and I want to let you know that I feel the same way. That being said, I’d like to take her to the dance next Saturday.”

  “No,” was Mrs. Cartwright’s response.

  Then Mr. Cartwright said, “Now, Maggie, let the boy finish.”

  “It’s being held at the gym, so it won’t be like the concert where we’re out of the city. The hospital is only two blocks away—not that we’l need it.

  But she real y wants to go and she said she didn’t even care if we danced. She just wanted to get dressed up and do something special. I give you my word I won’t let her do anything dangerous.”

  “She’l need to be home by one,” Mr. Cartwright said.

  “Andrew!”

  Both Mr. Cartwright and I looked at Mrs. Cartwright. She looked shocked, which was exactly how I felt. I couldn’t believe that he’d just given in like that. I had thought it would be more difficult.

  I stopped staring at Olivia’s grandmother and flicked my eyes between the husband and wife. There was some kind of silent discussion going on. I thought only twins did that. Obviously, I was wrong.

  Final y, Mrs. Cartwright’s face softened. “Fine. But you’l bring her home by twelve thirty, and you have her cal us by nine to check in.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “And you’l promise that you won’t indulge her in her recklessness. No fast dancing, no parties, nothing that wil stress her heart.”

  “I swear.”

  “She’s our only grandchild, you know.”

  “I know.” As I walked to the door, I said, “Thank you, I promise she’l be fine.” The week seemed to fly by, especial y after I told Olivia I’d gotten her grandparents’ blessing to take her to the dance. I’d never known she was so girly. For the next four days, we spoke of almost nothing else besides dance-appropriate clothing—suits, dresses, skirts and shirt combos, shoes, flowers, and hairdos.

  My first instinct was to zone al of it out. I wasn’t quite sure if I cared what color dress she wore, even if it impacted the color of my tie. Then I realized that regardless of whether I truly did care, Olivia did. And if she cared, I shouldn’t be so blasé about it. I didn’t make any of the decisions. I left that to her since she so obviously wanted to make them, but I wasn’t mental y absent during the discussion and I offered my opinions when she wanted them. Sometimes she didn’t take them—like the case of which color she should wear. I thought lavender, but she decided emerald green.

  Sometimes she went with my choice—like the case of her hair up or down. She wanted to do something that swept her hair up, leaving just little strands hanging down around her neck and shoulders. I wanted her hair down. As soon as I told her it was because I loved running my fingers through it, my choice won out.

  I had to ask Aaron what type of flowers to get her. I didn’t know if the Spring Fling was something you bought corsages for or if that was only for the more formal dances like Homecoming and Prom. Once he said I needed to buy something, I began to ask him other questions. She was wearing a green strappy dress. How would she put a flower on that?

  I ended up going to the florist with him. He was going with Maya Conway. He’d wanted to go out with her for a long time. It was actual y the longest amount of time I’d seen him interested in a girl. It was too bad that he just asked her out a few months before he’d move away for col ege.

  I got Olivia a wrist corsage. I thought it’d be annoying to have that thing strapped to your wrist al night, but Aaron said most girls liked those better anyway. He helped me pick out one that involved white orchids with pale purple in the middle, white beads, and emerald ribbons. It was a bit expensive, but there wasn’t much I spent my money on anyway.

  Plus, I knew Olivia would love it.

  Before we left the shop, my twin turned to me. “I apologized to her, you know.”

  I nodded, but kept my mouth shut. I guessed it made him a little bit better of a person now that he acknowledged what he’d done, but stil , I couldn’t understand why he’d cheat on someone as awesome as Livie.

  When he continued to stare at me, I figured he wanted some kind of verbal sign that I heard him, so I said, “Yeah. She told me. That was cool of you.”

  That was al it took for us to move on.

  I had Aaron take me out driving an hour every day after school. I’d gotten my permit, so I was perfectly legal; I just hadn’t gone to the DMV to take the tests.

  The Saturday of the dance Olivia was busy al day. I didn’t get to see her at al . It seemed pretty sil y to waste an entire day by being apart, but via text messages she assured me that it was important for her to have time to get ready. Despite those texts, I stil thought it was a waste of a day we could’ve spent together. I could watch her get her nails done. It wouldn’t have affected the mystique of Olivia Cartwright in my eyes.

  At five, I headed over to the Cartwrights’. Olivia’s grandfather let me in. Despite him being a driving force in al owing us to go, I was stil intimidated by him. We sat in the living room together, the television on, but muted. I felt uncomfortable in my suit and tie, but hoped Olivia thought I looked nice. The clear clamshel box with the corsage rested on my knees.

  He wasn’t staring at me. In fact, he wasn’t looking at me at al . He was reading a magazine. Mr. Cartwright stood up when we heard, “Okay,” coming from the steps. It was Mrs. Cartwright’s voice. Moving back to the foyer, I looked up and saw her coming down very slowly, wobbling a little.

  Helping Olivia get ready must have been important to get her upstairs.

  Suddenly, I was a bit nervous. Apparently tonight was a big thing and I worried that I wasn’t going to do enough or be enough to ensure Olivia had a good time.

  Just like out of a scene from a movie, as soon as her grandmother moved out of the way, Olivia appeared at the top of the stairs and started walking down. Now I understood what those films were trying to portray. My heart was thumping and my breath was racing. I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. The dress was the perfect dress—long and loosely draping over al the right parts, while a bit snug on al the other right parts.

  I took a step forward and held out my hand. She took it. The feel of her skin sent bolts of energy coursing through me. It felt insane and exciting.

  When our eyes met, she nibbled on her lower lip. “Stop looking at me like that,” she whispered.

  “I can’t.” I could barely say it. I could barely breathe. I wanted to look at her for the rest of my life. Reaching a hand up, I ran just the tips of my fingers through her hair. Most of it was down, but just a few strands were pul ed up away from her face. It was the perfect hair for the perfect dress, worn by the perfect girl.

  “You look handsome,” she said.

  “Thanks. You look fantastic.”

  Now, Olivia blushed. “Thanks.”

  “Here,” I said, holding the box out to her. Remembering what Aaron said, I took out the corsage myself and held the loop open for her. She slid her delicate wrist into it. The look on her face made the price tag of the orchids seem cheap. I would’ve paid double to make her this happy.

  Soon after, her grandmother took control. We were positioned a
t the bottom of the stairs for photos then moved around to the door for more pictures.

  It was warmer than it usual y was in the spring, but I helped Olivia with her shawl.

  As we were leaving, Mr. Cartwright gave me a hard look. “Be careful.”

  It was such a simple, wel -used phrase, but there was a deeper meaning in it.

  Mr. Cartwright wasn’t stupid either. I was sure he knew what kids got up to after dances. Drinking, more dancing . . . sex.

  There was no denying that I wanted to make love with her tonight. She looked beautiful and sexy, but I wanted him to know that I would never do anything to hurt her or jeopardize her health and safety. I loved her.

  “We wil be,” I said as I took her hand.

  Her skin was gorgeous and glowed. I wanted nothing more than to touch her, but it would have to wait. Her grandparents were watching us. She threaded her arm through the crook of mine and we descended the porch steps. As we got to her little Toyota, I led her to the passenger side. Olivia looked up at me, a suspecting little smile dancing upon her lips.

  Plucking the keys from her hand, I bent to unlock the door. I helped her inside, the way gentlemen do in al the movies. When I got in and started the car, Olivia laughed. “Show off.”

  As I pul ed away from the curb, I casual y agreed, “Maybe.”

  It didn’t take long to get to the restaurant. It never took long to get to any place in Lakeside. When we got there, I hurried around to her side and opened her door. Again, she looked impressed with how proper I was being. There was a fine line between being proper and being plain sil y. I wasn’t sure which side I was on. “My dad gave me a bunch of advice before I left the house.” Taking a moment to just look at her, the now-familiar bubbling sensation of excitement in my bel y tugged at me. I didn’t want to move. This was the perfect moment. She was happy. I was thril ed. I knew we had to go to the dance—we were committed now, but I wanted to steal her away from it al and have her for myself.

  With one step, I brought myself close to her, pressing our bodies together as I cupped her face. I kissed her, bringing my hands up, fingers tangling in her hair. Her hands moved to my waist and gently pressed against me. Her lips opened slightly. I ran the tip of my tongue along the top of her bottom lip. It was al that needed to happen to deepen the kiss. Olivia was leaning back against the car. My hands moved down her shoulders and arms until I was holding her body. I loved the curve that flowed between her breasts and her hips. The little dip was fascinating and sexy.

  The whole thing was sexy.

  But I couldn’t do what I wanted to do in broad daylight, outside the little restaurant. I ended the kiss, slowly pul ing back, letting my tongue touch her lip for just a moment before I stood up straight.

  “Wow,” she said, sounding a bit winded. I took her hand. After two steps toward the restaurant, she asked, “Did your dad give you advice on that?”

  I looked down and shook my head. “Nope. No advice needed on that one. That was an Olivia-inspired kiss. If the dance is lame, I’l show you what else you inspire me to do.”

  We enjoyed a nice dinner and when we got to the gym, I realized that the dance wasn’t lame at al . Olivia’s eyes sparkled in the twinkling lights that were supposed to mimic the stars. She was by far the prettiest girl there. The music was the normal dance music—a mixture of slow and fast-tempo modern songs. Some I knew, others I didn’t.

  She didn’t even try to pul me onto the dance floor for the fast songs. We only danced to the slow ones. I wasn’t sure there was anything better in the world than having her in my arms, her head against my chest.

  I saw Aaron and Maya. He gave me a wave, which I returned. To my surprise, I saw Casey at the dance. He was with Clare Matthews. They looked good together. I thought about saying hel o, just to see where we stood as friends, but he never looked at me.

  Knowing I could keep her out until after midnight was awesome. The dance would end at eleven, but at ten I asked if she wanted to leave. Two hours of a high school dance seemed like enough. Olivia agreed.

  The night had cooled off, so I ran the heat in her car on high. Now that we had left the dance, I didn’t know where we should go or what we should do. I drove us around the high school campus and parked near the stadium. Olivia leaned over the center console and kissed me. We didn’t stop kissing until the heat of the car and the heat of our bodies grew to be too much.

  “Come on,” she said as she pul ed the keys from the ignition. She grabbed her shawl, then popped open the door.

  “Livie, it’s kind of cold, and—” Stopping when I realized she couldn’t hear me anyway, I got out, shoving my hands in my pockets and raising my shoulders to brace against the chil in the air. She was digging around in the trunk.

  “My grandpa makes me keep al this stuff in case of emergency,” she said as she straightened. She had a bundle of blankets in her arms. “Can you close that?” She nodded toward the trunk.

  I shut it then asked, “What are you doing?”

  “You’l see,” she said. Without waiting for me, she headed toward the stadium. We stopped at the wire fencing. There was a little spot where the fence had been peeled back. It was just big enough for someone my size to squeeze through, but we’d have to crawl.

  She squatted down, shoved the blankets through, and then got onto her hands and knees. “Liv, your dress!”

  “Hold the fence up so it doesn’t snag.”

  I did as she instructed. I wasn’t sure how I’d explain a ripped dress to her grandparents. She’d pul ed her dress up a bit, so her knees were bare as she slipped through.

  From the other side, she said, “Your turn.”

  “Liv, I don’t know about this. It’s real y—”

  “Yeah, yeah. It’s cold. That’s what the blankets are for. Now get over here, please.” When I was on the other side, I swiped at my knees. The ground wasn’t muddy, so most of the dirt came off my dress pants easily. “What are we doing?” I asked again.

  She took my hand and led me out onto the field. The lights were off, so there wasn’t much to see. I knew the field wel , though, so I could tel we were somewhere along the thirty-yard line when she stopped. We weren’t in the center of the field, more toward the visitor’s side, when she dropped the blankets.

  She looked up at the sky. “It’s so pretty tonight.”

  I didn’t look up. I looked at her. There was nothing more beautiful in the world than her right now. “Liv,” I said as a chil ran through me. If I was getting cold, she must have been, too.

  She spread the blanket on the ground. “Sit.” She said, pointing, so I sat. Draping a blanket over my shoulders then swinging another blanket over hers, Olivia stood right in front of me. I couldn’t help but reach out and touch her legs. She moved closer and sat down on my lap.

  Extending her blanket, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. We were in a cocoon of warmth. Now I thought her plan was bril iant. The blankets and body heat made it feel like we were snug inside one of our bedrooms, but our surroundings were so much more intimate somehow.

  “The dance promised fun under the stars,” she whispered, “so it’s only appropriate that we have some.” I didn’t know if she was talking about having some stars above us or some fun. Either way, she was right. Natural y, the closeness of our bodies drew us together and the light kisses I began with gave way to heavier caresses and touches. Those gave way quickly as wel and soon we were merged together.

  I was total y in the moment. The portion of my mind that normal y would’ve been worried about everything else quieted, and soon I found myself absorbed in the feel and sensation of Olivia.

  I was so captivated by her, that even after we had stil ed and were pressed together, just listening to the sounds of each other’s body, I was unaware of anything outside the little bubble we’d created.

  “Al right, lovebirds, break it up.”

  Neither of us noticed the beam of light that bobbed closer to us until it was too late. My stomach
knotted when I heard the voice.

  Olivia gasped and we both looked up. We weren’t naked, but we did have to adjust our clothing.

  At first, Olivia thought it was funny that a security guard found us. I didn’t think it was, but I wasn’t incredibly remorseful about what we’d been caught doing until the guard mentioned police and trespassing.

  The guard made us stand outside the stadium by Olivia’s car for a half hour before a lone squad car pul ed up. Olivia was tightly wrapped in a blanket. I added the one we’d been sitting on when I noticed how badly she was shivering. Mine was bunched up on the hood of the car. I was too nervous to be cold.

  The cop knew me on sight. Not that I’d ever been in trouble before, but because he was an old friend of my father’s. He studied me for a moment.

  “It’s usual y Aaron we find doing this sort of thing,” he said casual y as he looked me up and down. He probably took note of my disheveled appearance before turning to look at my girlfriend.

  The guard fil ed him in on finding us. It took another forty-five minutes before Officer Davis let us go. Because we were both eighteen and because he knew my father, he didn’t make a big deal about it. He was sure to let us know that if he wanted to, he could arrest us for trespassing.

  He must’ve gotten a kick out of the two of us getting caught like that. I wondered if he’d cal my dad. It didn’t real y matter. I knew my father wouldn’t punish me or anything, but I worried about him cal ing Olivia’s grandparents. They’d be pissed.

  As it turned out, they didn’t need a cal from the cops. When we arrived at her house, it was almost two in the morning. A ful hour and a half past her curfew. Olivia was pale as her grandmother pul ed her into the house, leaving me out on the porch. Mr. Cartwright looked tired as he stood to the side, hand braced against the open door.

  From outside, I couldn’t see what was going on, but I heard Olivia try to explain to her grandma. I looked up at Mr. Cartwright and did my best to sound confident. “I’m sorry, sir, I just—”

  “Goodnight, Adam,” Mrs. Cartwright said from inside the house.