Rae of Sunshine

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “That’s hard.” He reached up and grasped one of the curls blowing in my face.

  “W-what?” I suddenly couldn’t think, not with him standing so close. It was like my brain had lost all sense of function.

  He chuckled, seeming to know what he’d done to me. “It’s hard having no one to talk to.”

  “You speak from experience.” It wasn’t a question. I’d caught the meaning in his words.

  He nodded, tucking the curl he’d been playing with behind my ear. “I do.”

  “You have secrets,” I stated, my eyes flicking up to his.

  He nodded and leaned forward. I stopped breathing as his lips brushed my ear. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

  Before I could react he was gone, striding across campus.

  twelve

  I regretted making the suggestion to take Cade’s picture. This gave me free reign to stare at him and oh Lord my stomach was doing somersaults. After a few pictures he’d stripped off his shirt—despite the fact that it was fifty degrees and windy—and revealed his lickable abs. Yes, lickable, because I was standing here looking through the lens of the camera thinking about how I wanted to run my tongue over all the dents and curves of his stomach.

  I needed to get a grip and tell my hormones to calm the fuck down.

  Cade had closed his eyes, lying in the grass as multi-colored leaves swirled around him. It made for an amazing picture, but I was still tempted to tell him to put his shirt on. But then he’d know it was bothering me and I couldn’t have that. I guess I’d just have to tolerate it. As if it was such a hardship to look at his chest.

  “How’s the picture taking going?” He asked, cracking one eye open.

  I jumped at the sound of his voice. It had been quiet between us for a while and he’d scared me.

  “Good,” I said. It seemed to be the only word my mouth could formulate at the moment.

  “Can I see?” He asked, sitting up and sweeping his hair away from his face—but not before I snapped another photo.

  I sat down beside him and he scooted over so there was no distance between our bodies.

  His scent was magnetic and I found myself leaning even closer.

  My hands shook slightly as I held the camera where he could see. His lips quirked and I knew he noticed.

  “These are good,” he commented, as I scrolled through the different photos.

  I snorted. “Did you think they’d be bad?”

  He chuckled. “If you’re implying that I might’ve doubted your abilities, that’s a no. I knew you’d be good. I wasn’t sure I’d be the best subject.”

  “Why? You’re hot.”

  Oh. My. God. Crap on a cracker I said that out loud. No, no, no. I wanted to take it back. Why didn’t life come with a rewind button?

  My cheeks turned an unflattering shade of red and I wanted to crawl away, find the nearest hole, and die in it.

  “You think I’m hot?” He grinned, his smile stretching his whole face.

  I set the camera in my lap and buried my face in my hands. “You know you’re hot,” I finally mumbled.

  “I very much like the fact that you think I’m hot.” I looked up to find him nodding with a cocky smile.

  “Can we stop talking about this?” I pleaded.

  “Why? I think my hotness is an interesting topic. Don’t you?” He winked.

  I grabbed his shirt and threw it at him. I stood up, gathered my stuff, and tried to get away from him as quickly as possible. I had to get away before I said something even more embarrassing that I couldn’t take back.

  “Rae! Where are you going? Rae!” He called after me.

  I heard his feet thumping against the ground as he ran to catch up with me.

  “I’m sorry,” he grasped my wrist, and no doubt felt my pulse jump. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” He released his hold on me and shoved his fingers through his hair, almost like he was frustrated. “Sometimes I forget how sensitive you are. I was only joking around with you.”

  Shit, now I felt like crap. Rachael would have never overreacted like this.

  I hung my head in shame. “No, don’t apologize. You’re right, you were only joking and I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” I let out a pent up breath and admitted, “Sometimes I forget.”

  “Forget what?” He tilted his head, his brows furrowing together.

  “How to be normal,” I mumbled. I wished I could be a normal girl—like Rachael again. I wanted nothing more than to joke and laugh with Cade and not be so…so sensitive, like he said. But I couldn’t help myself. It was an automatic reaction and it made me angry with myself.

  He chuckled and the sound was rich, warm and husky. “Rae,” he smoothed his fingers down my cheek and my eyes fluttered closed, “there’s no such thing as normal.” My eyes opened when his thumb circled over my bottom lip. He made that simple touch feel like so much more and I had to suppress the urge to moan. “Come with me,” he nodded his head in the other direction. “I want to show you something.”

  I opened my mouth, unsure of what to say.

  “Please, don’t say no,” he pleaded.

  The smart thing to do would have been to refuse him and go back to my dorm. But I hadn’t done the smart thing from the moment I set foot on campus, so why change now?

  “Okay,” I nodded.

  He grinned boyishly and I couldn’t help smiling in return.

  I followed him across campus and the amount of times he was stopped by someone wanting to talk to him was insane. I was starting to understand why he normally stayed hidden. And I knew Cade well enough to tell from his body language that he didn’t like the attention. Yeah, Cade could be arrogant at times and cocky, but what guy couldn’t? Most of the time he was rather shy. I found it endearing.

  “Finally,” Cade breathed, when we reached a set of doors.

  “Where are we going?” I hissed, looking over my shoulder. “I get the impression that we’re not supposed to be here.”

  He chuckled. “Relax, I’ve got a key.” He pulled a key out of his pocket and held it up for my inspection.

  “For some reason that isn’t providing me comfort right now.”

  “Oh, Rae,” he shook his head, his hair falling forward to hide his eyes, “you need to get out more.”

  It was true, so I didn’t argue with him.

  He twisted the key in the lock and reached inside, turning on a light switch.

  I stepped inside and looked around. Tile floor. Tile walls. And lockers. Lots and lots of lockers.

  “Why are we in the locker room?” I asked as he closed the door.

  “This isn’t what I wanted to show you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he nodded for me to follow him. “This is just a shortcut.”

  “A shortcut?”

  “Shortcut. Pitstop. Does it matter?” He quirked a brow and stopped beside a basket. He picked up a football from inside and cradled it in his arm.

  “Are we playing football?” I asked, following him once more.

  He tossed the ball in the air and caught it. “I suppose, if catch was considered football.”

  “Catch? Trying to make it easy on me?” I laughed, as he unlocked another set of doors. This time we stepped into what appeared to be a tunnel. I could feel the cool evening breeze flowing around us and see the stadium ahead. A rush flitted through my body. If this was even an ounce of the high Cade felt before a game… wow.

  “Aw, Sunshine, I’d never make it easy for you. Then you might win and my pride can’t handle that,” he winked, bumping my shoulder playfully with his.

  Feeling mischievous I reached up and snatched the ball from his hands and started running.

  “Cade,” I called over my shoulder with a laugh, “I always win.”

  Our laughter echoed in the tunnel and then I was on the field, still running.

  A scream tore out of my throat as Cade caught me around the waist and started spinning me through the air. “Cade!” />
  We came crashing to the ground in a tangle of limbs.

  He rolled so he took the brunt of the fall, but he was quick to roll again and pin me to the ground.

  His hair hung in his eyes and we both breathed heavily.

  The air crackled between us with electricity.

  He reached down, smoothing the hair off my forehead. My breath faltered as his hand then trailed down over my lips.

  Things were changing between us.

  That much was obvious, and I was too weak to fight it anymore.

  The distance between us began to close, becoming smaller and smaller. My heart beat like a drum, my blood roaring through my veins.

  This was it.

  He was going to kiss me.

  And this moment, it was going to change everything.

  My eyes closed and I waited, feeling his lips so close to mine. It was an effort to stay still. I knew the smart thing to do would be to move, to stop this, but I couldn’t.

  I was helpless when it came to Cade. I’d been running and running, and he’d finally caught me. Literally and figuratively.

  But then, his weight was gone from my body and he stood above me, holding out a hand for me.

  The electricity was gone too, carried away by the wind.

  I was stunned. I’d thought…

  What I thought didn’t matter.

  I didn’t accept his hand as I stood.

  “Rae,” he started, reaching for me.

  I took several steps back. “I’m okay,” I forced a smile. I wasn’t sure whether I meant I was okay from the fall or okay because he didn’t kiss me. I guessed it didn’t matter. Honestly, I couldn’t blame him for not kissing me. I was constantly sending him mixed signals. I was surprised he wasn’t suffering from whiplash.

  Besides, a kiss between us still wouldn’t change anything. We couldn’t be together. He’d done the right thing.

  I took a deep breath, sorting through my feelings and storing them away once more in carefully labeled boxes.

  Putting on a playful smile, I pointed at the ball. “So, are we going to play or what?”

  He tossed the ball from hand to hand. He seemed to be contemplating something, but finally threw it towards me. “Yeah, let’s see what you’ve got, Sunshine.”

  I rolled my eyes and caught the ball. “What would you call me if my name was Mary?” I asked rhetorically.

  He chuckled. “Gary?”

  I threw the ball at him, aiming for his head, but he caught it. “That wasn’t nice,” he wagged his finger like he was scolding a child. “A Rae of Sunshine isn’t supposed to be so naughty.”

  “I never said I was a Rae of Sunshine. You’re the one that made it up,” I countered.

  He chuckled, furthering the distance between us. “Good point. Are you ready?” He asked, lifting the ball.

  “Yeah,” I answered, holding up my hands.

  He launched the ball at me and I caught it, but the force sent me falling to the ground while the football lodged itself in my stomach. I choked on air.

  “Rae?!” He ran towards me and fell to his knees beside me. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think I threw it that hard.”

  When I managed to get enough air into my lungs, I said, “Do you enjoy knocking me down?”

  He laughed at that while looking me over for injuries. “You do seem to fall a lot around me.”

  “Fall?” I raised a brow, my hand cradling my stomach where I knew I’d end up with a massive bruise. “Falling would mean that I’m just a klutz and trip over things.”

  He chuckled and started lifting my shirt.

  “Hey,” I swatted his hands away, “stop that!”

  “What?” He looked at me with innocent blue eyes. “I was just looking you over.”

  “Well, can you not?” I grasped the end of my shirt tightly in my fists.

  “I’ve seen you in a bra before, what’s the big deal?” He shrugged. “Besides, I wasn’t going to take it off. I was only lifting it,” he defended. Suddenly, his eyes widened with understanding. “Is this about the scar?”

  “No,” I lied, looking away from his eyes that always saw too much.

  “I’ve already seen the scar, Rae. It’s not that bad.”

  “Not that bad?” I repeated. The scar on my abdomen was large, raised, jagged, and a disgusting shade of pink. There was nothing not that bad about it.

  Cade sighed and his eyes darkened. “Everyone has scars. Everyone. Sometimes, you can’t see them and those can be the worst.”

  I closed my eyes and breathed out. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” I apologized. “The scar is…it’s a touchy subject for me.”

  Cade looked at me and his lips twisted—almost like he wanted to laugh at me. “Most subjects are touchy for you.”

  It was true.

  Since our game of catch had turned into a failed kiss, and now this, I thought it might be best if we headed back to the dorms. “I think we should head back.” I pointed towards the entrance we’d come through.

  “No way,” he shook his head. “It’s just starting to get dark.”

  “That’s precisely why we should go back.” I sat up, picking grass off my jeans.

  He shook his head. “There’s something else I want you to see. Please, stay with me a little longer?”

  If this ‘something else’ turned out like everything else had in the past twenty minutes then I was sure it would end in disaster. But I agreed anyway. “Okay.”

  He grinned like a little boy, his eyes lighting up, and my heart soared. I made him smile like that—and that smile of his always made my heart speed up.

  “Come on,” he helped me up and didn’t let go of my hand as he guided me to the center of the field. He sat down and then stretched out on his back, so I did the same. Our hands stayed connected, making my body warm. “Do you feel it?” He whispered. “The energy? Even when there’s not a crowd here I still get a buzz in my veins.”

  “Yeah, I feel it,” I whispered back. A few minutes passed. “Why are we laying here?” I mean, this was nice and all, but I didn’t understand why he’d begged me to stay for this.

  He chuckled and turned his head so that his breath tickled my skin. Even in the dimming light I could still see his eyes sparkling. “You don’t have a patient bone in your body, do you?”

  “No,” I laughed, smiling at him.

  “Coach gave me a key to the stadium so I could practice whenever I want,” Cade explained even though I hadn’t asked him about that. “I don’t think I’ve actually come in here once to practice on my own,” he chuckled. “Instead, I come here when I need to think. I need to think a lot,” he muttered the last part under his breath. “I especially like to come here at night, when I can look up at the stars. It makes me feel like a kid again, camping in the backyard. It reminds me of a time when things were simple and there wasn’t this…this…pressure. When everyone was happy.”

  “Who’s everyone?” I whispered, rolling onto my side to face him.

  “My dad. My mom. My whole family,” he answered after a moment. His face darkened and an immeasurable sadness reflected in his eyes. Something bad happened to Cade, I could feel it. You didn’t get that kind of look in your eyes because your ice cream fell on the ground. No, Cade had suffered some sort of tragedy and that made me wonder if maybe he would understand what I’d been through—but I wasn’t willing to risk telling him the truth.

  I saw that he didn’t want to elaborate, and since he hadn’t pushed me to reveal my secrets I would respect his boundaries.

  “I like it out here,” I said instead, changing the subject.

  He chuckled. “You do?”

  “Mhmm,” I hummed. “I can see why you come here to think.”

  I shivered from the cold and he murmured, “Come here,” as he pulled me into his arms. I laid my head on his chest, cradled below his neck. It didn’t feel stiff or awkward being in his arms. It felt right. More right than anything ever had before and that scared me. I didn�
��t try to move though.

  He rubbed a hand up and down my arm, trying to create friction.

  It didn’t take long for the whole sky to grow dark and for the stars to twinkle above us.

  If I was honest with myself, I didn’t care about the stars or the moon or any of that.

  I was here for one reason and one reason only—because Cade asked me to stay.

  thirteen

  “What the hell is going on here?” A gruff voice invaded my sleep.

  I blinked my eyes open and the world came into focus—and the world, was not my dorm room like it should’ve been.

  Instead, I was curled against Cade asleep on the football field.

  And the man looming above us had to be the coach.

  I looked beyond him and sighed in relief when I saw that it was only him. I’d been afraid the whole team might be looming behind him.

  Cade sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Hey, coach.”

  “Don’t ‘hey, coach’ me, Montgomery,” he scolded. “What the hell do you think you’re doing out here? And with a girlfriend no less?” The man plucked a toothpick from between his teeth.

  “Sorry, coach,” Cade shrugged, seeming unaffected at being caught, “we were looking at the stars and fell asleep.”

  “Well how romantic,” the coach droned. “That key is for practice use only. Not wooing this little lady here.” He waved a hand in my direction.

  “It won’t happen again, coach,” Cade chuckled. I thought he should be more worried about us being caught, but he was completely at ease. I felt like running away.

  “Like I believe that one, Montgomery.” The coach turned to walk away. “Walk that one back to her dorm and get ready for practice.”

  “Yes, sir,” Cade called.

  “Oh my God,” I clutched at my shirt, because I needed something to hold on to, “I can’t believe that just happened.”

  Cade chuckled. “It’s okay. Coach was cool.”

  “Cool? Cool? He did not seem cool with this to me,” I babbled, pushing my sleep mused hair off my forehead.

  “Trust me, he was fine, and he didn’t really care. Coach likes to act tough but he’s really a softy.” Cade stood and stretched his arms above his head.