Always a Bridesmaid

by Lizzie Shane

  She didn’t need insta-chemistry to fall in love. It would grow as she got to know him.

  But the chemistry hadn’t gotten better. And the sex continued to be lackluster at best. Perfect-on-Paper Parker was not so perfect in bed. Foreplay and reciprocation seemed to be concepts he hadn’t quite grasped and when she tried to gently hint that she might like certain things he would get so upset that he hadn’t ‘satisfied’ her that he’d leave the bedroom—but she told herself it was early in their relationship. They were still learning one another. Maybe he would get better.

  Relationships were about compromise. Which, lately, meant Parvati compromising on her need for orgasms.

  “There’s more to life than sparks,” Tori said. “I lucked out and got both, but if he’s a good man who cares about you and you care about him…” She trailed off with a shrug.

  “I’m keeping you from lasagna night.” Parv stood. “And I should get going. I’m going to be late to meet Parker.”

  Another Friday night of pizza, watching some awful horror movie he’d picked out, and bad sex to look forward to. Well. She’d said she wanted to be in a relationship.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Her cell phone rang too early Saturday morning for it to be good news.

  Parvati rolled over, ignoring Parker’s sleepy groaning attempt to drag her back to the center of the mattress and leaned over her nightstandless side of the bed to grab her phone off the floor. Katie’s face lit up the screen.

  Six seventeen in the morning. Parv’s heart rate kicked up and she was fully awake as she swiped her thumb. “Katie? Are you okay?”

  “Aunt Parv?” Katie’s voice wavered wetly. “I screwed up.”

  Parv’s feet hit the floor and she grabbed her clothes, carrying them with her to the bathroom so she could dress while she talked. “Where are you? What happened?”

  She kicked the door shut and elbowed on the light in the bathroom, dumping her stuff on the counter and fishing through the pile to find her underwear.

  “I’m at Lolly’s.” She sniffled. “Oh God, Parv, I screwed up so big.”

  Cousin Lolly’s. Not at home with her fiancé. Had they called off the wedding? They were getting married in a week. “Did something happen with Jonah?”

  “I don’t know!” Then the tears obscured what Katie was saying and all Parv could make out was drunk dial and mistake.

  “It’s okay, hon. Take a deep breath.”

  Katie did, miraculously managing to bring herself under control enough to explain. “My friends wanted to throw me a bachelorette party on my last weekend of singledom, but none of us have fake IDs so Lolly offered to host us and I thought how much trouble can we get into at Lolly’s apartment?”

  Famous last words. Parv ignored her cousin’s contributing to the delinquency of minors and focused on the immediate issue. “So you were drinking,” she prompted.

  “God, Parv, I’ve never been so drunk. I’ve never really been a party girl and they kept giving me these fruity shots and I thought what’s the harm, right? But then there were these guys…”

  “Strippers?”

  “I don’t know. I was so hammered I can’t even really remember. I think they were just friends of Lolly’s. I remember that guy from her band being there, but most of it’s a blur.”

  “Okay. So there were guys…”

  Katie took a deep breath and dropped the next words hard, like a boulder of guilt landing in the middle of the conversation. “I kissed one.”

  “Is that it?”

  “Isn’t that enough?” Katie screeched. “I’m getting married in a week and I kissed another man last night. A man whose name I don’t even remember.”

  “Would it be better if you remembered his name?” She couldn’t help being relieved. She was standing half-dressed in Parker’s bathroom, getting ready to ride to the rescue, and the crisis was a kiss.

  “I betrayed my fiancé. And when I woke up, my phone showed that I called him last night. What if I told him? What if he called off the wedding?”

  “One—you didn’t betray him. You kissed another guy at your bachelorette party. I know it feels like a huge deal because you’ve never kissed anyone but Jonah in your entire life, but you obviously regret it and I’m pretty sure you’re never going to do anything like that ever again because of the way you feel right now, so I don’t think the betrayal thing is really an issue. And two—don’t borrow trouble. Maybe you drunk dialed him last night, but I sincerely doubt you could have said anything to make Jonah call off the wedding. He’s crazy about you. And even if you did, I’m betting you can fix it. You just have to call him and figure out what you said.”

  “What if he won’t talk to me?”

  “What if a meteor hits the earth tomorrow and we all go the way of the dinosaurs? Don’t worry about what ifs. Call him. Find out what you’re dealing with.” Parv caught sight of herself in the mirror and grimaced at the dark circles under her eyes. “Normally I would recommend waiting until a civilized hour to call, but since you’re just going to freak out until you talk to him, call now. Rip the band-aid off. And tell him you love him. That usually helps.”

  “What if this is a sign?”

  “A sign of something other than you had too much to drink?”

  “It’s like all those wedding movies. 27 Dresses, Bride Wars, The Wedding Ringer, The Wedding Date, Something Borrowed, Wedding Crashers, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Made of Honor—the girl is always marrying the wrong guy. They’re so in love with love or so convinced that their life needs to follow a certain path with a certain kind of guy that they never even stop to check to see if they’re marrying the right guy.”

  “Of course not. Otherwise there wouldn’t be any drama. Those aren’t real life.”

  “But what if I’m doing that? What if Jonah is the wrong guy and I just want to get married so badly I’m ignoring all the signs?”

  Parvati knew irrational panic when she heard it. “Do you want to break up with him?”

  “Of course not! I can’t imagine my life without him in it.”

  That didn’t sound like the wrong guy to Parv. “Are you more excited about the wedding or about being married to him?”

  “Being married to him—but it’s a close call, Aunt Parv. I really want the wedding. Is that wrong? I want it to be pretty and perfect. I want it to be the best day of my life.”

  “Wanting your wedding to be perfect doesn’t mean you picked the wrong guy. It just means you’re your mother’s daughter. Is he your best friend?”

  “Of course.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “More than anything in the world.”

  “Then maybe the only sign we have here is that you’ve been watching too many wedding movies. Step away from the drama and call your fiancé. Everything’s going to be great.” And, unlike when she’d used those words for Common Grounds, she really believed them.

  Katie sniffled. “Thank you, Aunt Parv. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  It wasn’t until Parv had gotten off the phone with a much calmer Katie that she realized she’d just talked her niece back into marrying Jonah.

  That would have been the perfect time to ask Katie if she was sure. To remind her that she was young and she had time and maybe she wasn’t ready to spend the rest of her life with one guy if she was still getting drunk and kissing other guys…but she just hadn’t been able to do it.

  Katie loved Jonah. It was there in her voice every time she talked about him and Parv genuinely believed they would work it out—whatever came at them, those two would be able to face it together. She’d worried that Katie was cutting herself off from experiences by being with Jonah, but the truth was they were lucky. They’d found that love early.

  Parv crept back to the bedroom, climbing back into bed beside Parker. He stirred, reaching out an arm to drag her against him. “What was that?” he mumbled sleepily.

  “Katie kissed some guy at her bachelorette party last
night and was freaking out. She needed someone to talk her down.”

  Parker’s shoulder stiffened beneath her cheek. “Is the wedding off?”

  “I hope not. She’s talking to Jonah now. I’m sure they’ll work it out.”

  “But she cheated.” Parker slid his arm out from under her, shifting away.

  “She got drunk and kissed a stranger at a bachelorette party with all her friends egging her on. It’s not really the same.”

  A snort. “I doubt Jonah will see it that way.”

  The condemnation in his voice made Parv’s hackles rise. No one was allowed to judge her family. “She’s a kid who made a mistake and kissed a guy. She already knows it was a mistake. Sometimes people need to make mistakes in order to learn never to make them again. As mistakes go, this one was pretty minor.”

  He shifted away from her, putting more distance between them in the bed. “So if you cheat on me, it’s just a learning experience?”

  Parvati fought to keep her temper in check. This was a trigger for him. She needed to be sensitive to that. But it was starting to make her crazy. The jealousy. The insecurity. How it never let up. “I’m not going to cheat on you, Parker. That isn’t who I am.”

  “I wish I could trust that, but you took her side.”

  “She’s my niece. I love her and I support her. That doesn’t mean I’m going to cheat on you. What have I ever done to make you think you can’t trust me?”

  “Nothing,” he snapped, sarcasm eating away at the words like acid. “You would never do anything. You’re always right. You’re always perfect.”

  “Parker—”

  But he was already turning on his side, giving her his back. Shutting her out.

  Her punishment for disagreeing with him.

  “Parker.”

  Nothing.

  She could have stayed. A good girlfriend probably would have stayed. Maybe if she’d loved him, she would have stayed. But she didn’t want to watch him sleep the sleep of the righteously indignant, waiting for him to wake up and pretend nothing had happened. She didn’t want to lie awake for hours stewing and there was no way she’d get back to sleep now—she was normally up at this hour for the bakery anyway and she was too irritated to sleep.

  She got out of bed and put on the rest of her clothes, gathering up her things. She said his name softly, but he ignored her, pretending to be asleep, pretending he was a grown man and not a toddler throwing a tantrum.

  She could have stayed. Maybe she should have stayed. But she went home instead. And Parker never said a word.

  * * * * *

  Max hated the nights Parvati spent at Parker’s and he was man enough to admit it. Jealousy had dug its ugly claws into his gut and it twisted them every time he thought about Parv, naked and soft and smiling in the arms of another man. He was hyperaware of her absence—so he noticed the second the security system beeped with the opening of the front door, too early on Saturday morning.

  “Hey.” He padded barefoot out of the kitchen, carrying the orange juice he’d just poured for himself. “You’re back early.”

  She grimaced, dropping her overnight bag on the floor in the foyer as she kicked off her sparkly flip flops. “Katie called at the crack of dawn with a crisis and I couldn’t get back to sleep so I figured I might as well make the drive before the traffic got too bad. I’ve got Sidney’s shower at Elena’s place in Malibu later and I didn’t want to be too crunched for time.”

  “Is Katie okay?”

  She looked at him like he’d just earned sainthood. “Thank you for asking that. She’s fine. She got drunk and kissed someone else at her bachelorette party and then drunk dialed Jonah and when she woke up this morning she was in a regret spiral.”

  “Which you pulled her out of like the brilliant aunt you are?”

  “I did.” She padded past him toward the kitchen and he fell in beside her.

  “I don’t think of Katie as old enough to drink.”

  “Legally, she isn’t. Lolly decided to contribute to the delinquency of some minors in the name of bachelorette tradition.”

  Max leaned his hip against the counter, watching her move around his kitchen. Their kitchen, really. She was more comfortable around his appliances than he was. “If Sidney does a Brides Gone Wild at her bachelorette party, I don’t want to know about it.”

  “I think it’s going to be pretty tame, but I don’t think it’s going to be my call.”

  “Do I detect a note of bitterness?”

  Parv grimaced behind her juice. “I’m being edged out of bachelorette party planning by Sidney’s MMP friends. And yes, I’m annoyed.” She took a long drink, then set down her glass and began pulling ingredients out of the fridge for something that was bound to be delicious. “I never thought of myself as the kind of girl who wanted to be involved in every little detail of wedding planning, but then Sidney moved without me and bought her dress without me and Tori and Elena planned the bridal shower without me and now Caitlyn’s planning the bachelorette party without me and the only thing every part of this wedding seems to have in common is that it’s happening without me—which is fine, it isn’t my wedding, but I always figured when Sidney got married I’d be the one she relied on.”

  He leaned against the counter, letting her vent, watching her hands as she beat flour into some eggy mixture.

  “I had an anxiety dream the other night,” she went on. “I arrived at the wedding wearing the wrong color dress, because I’d had to get it myself because Sidney didn’t have time to shop with me, and I’d missed the rehearsal and didn’t know where to stand or when to walk and Sidney kept looking at me like she was so disappointed in me because I was ruining her wedding.”

  “That isn’t going to happen.”

  “I know. But it felt real.” She released a sad huff of breath. “It felt really real.”

  “Have you talked to her?” Max asked, eager to fix the problem.

  “I haven’t seen her in weeks. But I’ll see her this afternoon. It’s her bridal shower. She has to show up.”

  “So you’ll talk to her. And everything will be fine. You’ll see. She took those best friends forever pacts you two made in fourth grade very seriously.”

  Parv smiled—and Max took that smile as a personal victory. She’d been tense ever since she arrived home and he’d needed that smile almost as much as she had. She may not be his, but when she smiled at him like that he could almost forget the other guy.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Parvati arrived in Malibu early, but neither Tori’s nor Sidney’s car was parked out front of the address her GPS had led her to, so she circled the block, finding a lookout point about a mile up the road to pull off and wait, deciding she’d rather hide out in her car for fifteen minutes than go inside and mingle with women she barely knew.

  She’d been thinking about Parker all day, hating the way she’d left things with him—and hating the way she’d just left. Now that it wasn’t six-thirty in the morning and she wasn’t glaring at the wall of his back, she wished she’d made a different choice.

  She pulled out her cell phone and dialed his number, staring out over the ocean. The phone rang until she was convinced it was going to go to voicemail, but then there was a muted click and a lingering pause before Parker sullenly muttered, “Hey.”

  “Hey. I was hoping we could talk.”

  He began speaking almost before she finished her sentence. “I knew this was coming. I knew you were going to do this.”

  Apparently she was the only one who’d gotten over her earlier irritation. “Look, I’m sorry about this morning—”

  “I should have known better. I don’t know why I thought you were different. Women say they want nice guys, but what they really want are men they can walk all over until someone more exciting comes along.” Spite saturated the words. “You think I don’t know that you were just using me until you worked up the courage to make a play for Max?”

  Where the hell was this coming
from? “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re the one who called to break up with me.”

  “I didn’t call to break up with you. I called to patch things up.”

  “You said we needed to talk.”

  “And we do. I didn’t like how we left things this morning.”

  “Then you shouldn’t have left.”

  “And maybe you shouldn’t have tried to freeze me out,” she snapped.

  She didn’t know how he looked during the long pause on the other end of the line, but she had a feeling it was pretty damn sullen. Perfect-on-Paper Parker never reacted well when she called him on his shit.

  She’d been determined to make it work, but was it supposed to be this much work? And was she supposed to be the only one putting in any effort? She was always the one who commuted—which she hadn’t minded because his work hours were longer and she didn’t really want him in Max’s house, but he never even offered to put in the hours in the car to get to her. He always picked the movie when they watched one together, because the one time she’d tried to show him one of her favorites he’d spent the entire time bitching about how dumb it was until she couldn’t even enjoy it. He picked the restaurant and she went along. He picked everything and she made it work, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to anymore.

  He wasn’t just selfish in bed; he was selfish everywhere else too. She wanted balance. She wanted a partner.

  She wanted to break up with him.

  He still hadn’t spoken, pouting on the other end of the line.

  Parv let the words pushing against her tongue come out, “Maybe we should take a break.”

  “I thought you weren’t calling to break up.”

  “I wasn’t, but maybe I should have been. Maybe we’ve both been trying to force something that was never there.”