Two To Mango

by Jill Marie Landis

“We have to vote on it,” Big Estelle reminded her.

  “Since when?” Kiki grabbed the sides of her head as if it were about to explode.

  “Everyone should have a say.” The minute Em voiced her opinion, Kiki turned on her.

  “Everyone? Lillian barely knew Marilyn when she quit on us. And Flora? How is she supposed to vote?” Kiki indicated Flora with a wave of her hand. The woman was passed out across the trunk of the compact rental car parked beside them. “Trish isn’t here. So this isn’t a quorum.”

  “I say we give her a chance,” Lillian suggested.

  “Okay, then I vote no, no, and no.” Kiki turned to Suzi. “And so do you, right?”

  Suzi started to speak then thought better of it.

  “What about aloha?” Lillian’s voice quivered.

  “What about a-NO-ha.” Kiki started digging in her purse for her keys. “This meeting is over. I’ll let the Defector know she’s still out.”

  Just then the departing wedding party came around the corner. There were a dozen twenty-somethings, talking, singing and some of them weaving as they split up and got into their rental cars. A bridesmaid was complaining about having to be the designated driver as she pushed the car door remote and unlocked the doors. Two of the young couples got in without noticing there was a two-hundred-pound woman in a muumuu draped and drooling on the trunk lid.

  “Big Estelle, wake up Flora before she ends up road kill. Put her in her car to sleep it off.”

  Big Estelle went to rouse Flora before the rental car pulled out. She deposited Flora in her SUV and then joined them again. “I’d better go back inside and get Mother,” she said.

  “I thought she was already in your van.” Em rubbed the crease between her brows and wished she could rewind the day and start over.

  “I left her in the bar.”

  “She’s not in there.”

  “Maybe she fell asleep in the lua,” Suzi suggested.

  “She’s not in the bathroom either,” Em said.

  “Well, she couldn’t have gotten far. She’s on the walker, not her scooter,” Big Estelle looked around the parking lot.

  “That’s a relief,” Lillian said.

  “I’ll go back inside and check, but I don’t know how I could miss her,” Em volunteered. “When you find her, come let me know.”

  Big Estelle, Suzi and Lillian ran off in all directions calling Little Estelle’s name. Kiki fell into step beside Em as they headed back inside.

  “Seriously, did you know about the engagement?” Kiki asked again.

  Em stopped. “I told you. I had no idea.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Right now I’m going to make sure Little Estelle is all right.”

  “Of course she’s all right. She sneaks off all the time. We have a real emergency here. You can’t let Louie marry that woman.”

  Just then Big Estelle raced out of the bar. “Mother’s not inside anywhere!” She started weaving between parking stalls calling, “Mother? Mother!”

  Em turned to Kiki. “Right now Louie’s engagement isn’t as important as finding Little Estelle.”

  Kiki sighed. “So you say. I’ll toss my purse in the car and help look.”

  Em jogged a little ways up and down the highway calling for Little Estelle without any luck. She ran back and found Suzi pulling out of the driveway headed north. The realtor paused and rolled down the window.

  “I’m going to head up to Princeville and look for Little Estelle along the way. Maybe she’s walking home.”

  “You honestly think a ninety-two-year-old on a walker could get more than a couple of house lots away by now?”

  Suzi rolled her eyes. “You never know.”

  “Where are the others?”

  “Big Estelle is looking up and down the beach. Kiki went to search your house. Lillian is sitting in the parking lot sobbing.”

  They could hear David Letterman squawking his head off over at the house.

  “Maybe I should call the police.” Em thought of Mitchell Chambers dead in the taro patch.

  “That’s a good idea.” Suzi drove off.

  Em pulled out her cell phone and started to dial 911. On second thought she dialed Roland and told him Little Estelle had gone missing.

  “Stop laughing,” she had to add. “I’m serious.”

  “Okay.” She heard him sigh. It was a second or two before he asked, “Where was she last seen?”

  “In the bar.”

  “Before she scooted away?”

  “She’s on foot. Using a walker.”

  “You’re kidding me, right?”

  “I wish.”

  “I’ll call it in and swing by on the way home.”

  Em hit the end button on her phone and started up the front steps of the Goddess. Before she reached the lanai, a yellow Jeep pulled in and screeched to a halt.

  “Can you help me, lady?” A male tourist who looked to be in his mid-thirties, about Em’s age, jumped out. He ran around to the passenger side door. Em started down the steps.

  “Get out,” he ordered someone in the Jeep.

  “I can’t get out on my own you nincompoop!”

  When Em recognized Little Estelle’s voice she ran around the car, and sure enough, there was Little Estelle, teetering on the edge of the passenger’s seat.

  “You got yourself in. Get yourself out.” The man didn’t make a move to help her climb out.

  Em noticed that the front two button holes on his aloha shirt looked ragged. The buttons had been ripped off.

  “What’s going on here? What are you doing with her?” Em was afraid to find out.

  “She attacked me.” He kept his distance as he pointed at Little Estelle.

  “So you say.” Little Estelle pursed her lips and shook her head in disgust. “I’m a little old lady. Nobody’s going to ever believe you.”

  Frustrated, the guy ran his fingers through his hair.

  “Look, I’m not lying. I’m here on vacation from Nebraska. I stopped in to have a beer and then walked out of the bar and got into my rental car. I was almost to that beach, that place called Big Lumahai, when she popped up in the back seat, threw her arms around my neck and tried to kiss me. It was gross. I almost went off the road.” He actually shivered.

  “Is someone going to help me down?” Little Estelle was hanging from the handle at the top of the door frame by both hands. Her feet dangled above the ground.

  Em turned to Little Estelle. “Is that true?”

  “Of course not. He begged me to go with him.”

  “She’s lying! I didn’t even know she was in there until she lunged at me. Scared the poop out of me.” He grabbed the front of his shirt. “She tried to tear my shirt off. She could have killed us both!”

  “I wasn’t going to kill you, honey. I was going to show you the time of your life. Bet you never did it with a real show girl before, and now you’ve lost your chance.”

  “This is gross.” His expression was a mixture of sheer horror and panic.

  “Please. Somebody get me down.” Little Estelle was kicking her feet.

  Em grabbed her around the waist and gently lowered her to the ground. The woman weighed little more than a box of Kleenex.

  The man wiped his brow with the back of his arm. “Thanks, lady. Really. I owe you.”

  “I still don’t understand how she got in there. She can barely walk.” Em wondered if she should somehow stall the guy until Roland showed up.

  “Ask her!” Little Estelle’s victim hurried around the front of the Jeep and jumped in.

  Little Estelle clung to the side view mirror for support until Em pried the woman’s hands off the mirror. The tourist revved the engine and peeled out. Em star
ed at the license plate and repeated the number in her head just in case he was lying.

  “Are you all right?” Em helped Little Estelle up the front steps to the Goddess lanai.

  “Of course I’m all right. What a little pantywaist. I don’t know what’s wrong with you kids these days. You’re all so darned serious.”

  “You climbed in there by yourself?”

  “Well, I did have a little help from a couple that was leaving. I told them it was my daughter’s car. They lifted me in.”

  “Where’s your walker?”

  “I ditched it in the parking lot before I snuck into the Jeep.” Little Estelle pointed toward the mock orange hedge. Then she frowned and chewed on her lower lip. “Maybe we’d better not tell my daughter about this.”

  Just then Big Estelle came hurrying around the corner of the building.

  “Mother! Where were you?”

  Little Estelle started singing. “Got my motor runnin’. Lookin’ for adventure . . . or whatever comes my way.”

  “Born to be wild? Really?” Em rolled her eyes.

  “Gotta live it up. I may not have much time left,” Little Estelle laughed.

  “Where was she?” Big Estelle sounded more angry than relieved.

  Behind her wire-framed glasses, Little Estelle’s eyes pleaded for Em not to snitch.

  Em leaned over and whispered, “Do I have your word you won’t pull a stunt like that again? Next time you could end up in jail for tourist abuse.”

  Little Estelle thought for a minute and finally nodded yes.

  “All that matters now is that she’s back,” Em gently prodded her toward Big Estelle. “Hang on to her, and I’ll go get her walker.”

  7

  A Close Encounter

  By the time Roland pulled up followed by two white KPD police cruisers, the Maidens had cleared the parking lot, and all was quiet. Em assured him Little Estelle was no longer missing. Roland sent the cruisers on their way.

  “So what happened?” Roland asked.

  “You really don’t want to know.”

  “You found her in a bush sleeping one off.”

  “No. Nothing like last time,” Em said. “Are you hungry? There might be something left in the kitchen.”

  “Actually, I’m off duty. I’ll take a Longboard.”

  “Sure.” Em walked him into the bar. The place was empty except for Sophie, who was sitting on a barstool, elbow on the bar, her head on her hand. She looked exhausted.

  “You can take off,” Em told her. “I’ll lock up.”

  Sophie looked Roland over. “Detective.”

  “Miss Chin.”

  “Thanks, Em. I think I will,” Sophie said.

  Em had given up trying to smooth things out between them. She walked around the bar, and Roland took over a barstool across from the beer taps. She filled a tall glass with Longboard, a local brew, and set it on the bar.

  “Food?” Em asked.

  “No, thanks. I had a big combo plate at L&L around six. I’m good.” He smiled.

  If she could let her guard down enough she just might find out how good he really was.

  “Are we alone?” He took a sip of beer.

  She glanced over her shoulder. The kitchen was dark. Kimo was gone. She hoped the dim light in the bar hid her blush.

  “We’re alone.”

  “Good. I’ve got some info on the gal in Mitchell’s halau. Shari Kaui, the one who died.”

  “Oh.” She should have known the case was the only thing on his mind. “You still think there’s something suspicious going on?”

  “I can’t shake the feeling. Shari was a promising dancer. Mitchell didn’t make it any secret that she would be the one to advance to kumu status one day. She was already his right hand, responsible for getting them grants and planning fundraisers. Quite the organizer as well as a talented dancer.”

  “So why would someone kill her if she was so vital to the group?”

  “I’m thinking jealousy,” he said.

  “She was killed by someone who was attracted to Mitchell?”

  “More like somebody who wanted Mitchell to elevate them instead. Now Chambers is dead along with Shari, so that kind of blows that theory.”

  “Why kill the kumu if the object was just to get Shari out of the way?”

  “Right. I’ll admit I don’t know much of anything right now.”

  “It’s just a feeling, right?”

  “Yeah, just a feeling. Is Kiki going to enter the competition?”

  Em was still thinking about Shari Kaui but finally nodded.

  “She called in about registration. We’re going into town to fill out the paperwork tomorrow. I volunteered to go along thinking maybe I’ll hear something. I need some things from Costco anyway.”

  “I really appreciate this, Em.”

  “I just hope nothing turns up.”

  “I’m hoping there’s nothing to it. The last thing I want is to put any of you in danger.”

  “Speaking of danger, Uncle Louie is engaged to Marilyn Lockhart.”

  “What’s dangerous about that? A good marriage is a blessing.”

  She thought she must have heard wrong. “What?”

  “A good marriage is a blessing. That’s why I never got married yet. I’m waiting for the right woman to come along.”

  “Oh, really?” Having divorced her cheating ex, Em thought the fire-dancing detective sounded too good to be true.

  “Really. So why aren’t you happy about the engagement?”

  “I’m worried Kiki will do something rash. She’s worried Marilyn is after the Goddess. And then there’s Marilyn herself. She’s been married a whole lot of times, and I have no idea what happened to her previous husbands.” She let the statement hang.

  “What’s a whole lot of times?”

  “Rumor is four or five,” she said.

  “You want me to find out?”

  “Payback is hell,” she laughed. “But would you?”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thanks, Roland.”

  “Just don’t let Kiki pull any crazy stunts,” he warned.

  “With only a couple weeks to prepare, she’s going to be completely focused on the competition number and their costumes for now. I think Marilyn’s pretty safe.”

  “Other than Ms. Lockhart’s track record, how do you feel about the engagement?” He was almost finished with his beer. Em found herself wishing he’d taken more time.

  She sighed. “I want Louie to be happy, of course, but I don’t want anyone taking advantage of him. Do you know how I ended up here?” On a small island like Kauai eventually everyone knew everything.

  “I heard something about the Maidens sending for you.”

  “Kiki sent a letter and a one way ticket. The bar was always running in the red. They were convinced he was losing his mind and wanted me to know. I’m all the family he has.”

  “Now you’ve turned things around.”

  “We’re doing better,” she said.

  “Do you regret the move?”

  “No. But I’m not sure Louie’s really losing it at all. I’m beginning to think Kiki was more worried about him losing the Goddess. Now this thing with Marilyn has her all wound up again.” She picked up his empty glass. “Would you like another?”

  “Nope. Driving. How about you lock up, and I’ll walk you home?”

  He waited while she turned off the lights and closed up and then walked her across the parking lot. The sound of the waves against the shore was intensified in the darkness. On a moonless night the white foam atop the surf was barely visible. A light that beamed out of the beach cottage spilled across the front lanai and over the sand. The palm tr
ees lining the beach swayed in the trades, silent dancers silhouetted against the sky.

  Em started up the steps, paused to say goodnight.

  “Sorry I got you out here on a wild goose chase.”

  “No worries. I’m glad you found your runaway. Thanks for the beer.”

  “Anytime.”

  Standing a step below, he no longer towered over her. She could look directly into his eyes. Dangerous business.

  “You need to be careful,” he said.

  “Careful?”

  “Don’t give yourself away while you’re undercover.”

  “I don’t plan to.”

  “You might not be able to help yourself. You started blushing when I asked if you were alone earlier.”

  Suddenly she was blushing again. Had he just moved closer?

  Em cleared her throat and looked away. When she turned back he was still close.

  “You’re blushing again.” He traced her cheek with his fingertip.

  “You don’t know that. It’s too dark out here to tell.”

  “You’re right. Maybe a closer look.”

  He leaned in and kissed her. His lips were cool. Up close he gave off the scent of coconut shampoo and trouble. His quick move was such a shock to her system that Em had to grab the screen door handle for support.

  Inside, David Letterman let out shrill, earthshattering squawks.

  “Okole maluna!” The bird shouted “Bottoms up!”

  Roland winced.

  “Louie’s been spending too much time with Marilyn, which means Dave hasn’t sampled any new drinks lately. He’s pretty irritable.”

  “This could be parrot abuse,” Roland said.

  “Don’t turn us in to the Humane Society.”

  “Don’t tempt me.”

  She wished she wasn’t so tempted to invite him in. There was no telling what would happen if she let her hormones take over.

  Before she had time to give in his two-way radio went off. The voice on the other end said something about a stolen chicken.

  “Gotta go,” Roland had already cleared the first step. “Big emergency.”

  “A stolen chicken is an emergency?”

  The island was over-run with wild fowl. Cars bumpers sported Take a Chicken to Lunch stickers. Colorful Kauai roosters were printed on T-shirts, coasters, coffee mugs, tote bags, notepaper and every kind of tourist trinket. Traps were sold at the feed stores, and dogs were trained to run them down. Usually no one cared when a wild chicken disappeared.