Two To Mango

by Jill Marie Landis

  “They all look great,” Suzi assured her. “All those green felt leaves flapping on that aqua material. Genius.”

  “You think?”

  Suzi nodded. “Well, I’ve never seen anything like them before.”

  Kiki sighed. “Mahalo for that.”

  The waitress arrived to take her order. Kiki glanced at the clock.

  “I don’t have time for a drink right now,” Kiki decided. “Sorry.” She turned to Suzi. “Time to face the music.”

  She and Suzi walked together through the lobby past booth after booth of craft fair vendors. Across the open lobby, she saw the Maidens all lined up waiting outside the door of the huge hotel ballroom. They were all wearing their matching pareau for rehearsal as she instructed. Lillian’s face mirrored sheer terror. Even Little Estelle had a somber expression.

  Kiki walked up to Lillian and reached into her purse.

  “I forgot to give you this double sided tape. Use this, and you can stop holding your pareau up like a soggy bath towel.”

  “Will it work?” Lillian eyed the tape doubtfully.

  “It works for JLo, and she’s got chichi’s.” Flora was smiling like a cat in an empty bird’s nest.

  Kiki leaned toward Trish. “What’s with Flora? I asked all of you to keep her from drinking until rehearsal’s over.”

  “She’s just happy because her crocheted toilet paper covers are selling like crazy at her friend’s crap fair booth,” Trish said.

  “So are Tiko’s smoothies,” Kiki added. “I noticed she has a line a mile long. I can’t even think about having another one.”

  Just then Sophie and Pat came rushing over with Wally in tow. When the Maidens crowded around, Pat shushed them and made them line up single file again.

  “Why aren’t you ladies in your gowns for dress rehearsal?” Wally looked askance at their sarongs.

  “No one wears their costumes until the competition performance,” Kiki informed him. “We get points for those too.”

  “Well, I can’t wait to see how they look.”

  “Where’s Em? She said she’d be here.” Trish looked around the fair. “Didn’t she come with you, Wally?”

  “She dropped us off and went to park the car,” Sophie said. “She’ll be here in a minute.”

  Little Estelle piped up. “She should have valeted.”

  23

  Rehearsal Before the Last Rehearsal

  I should have valet parked.

  Em jogged up the hotel driveway. They left the North Shore late because she had to show Louie how to make the new smoothies. For a man who could concoct countless cocktails without looking more than once at a recipe book, he was hopeless at opening a simple smoothie package and adding the right amount of water.

  Sophie was right; they needed a part-time bartender.

  Em entered the lobby. The signs on the walls were confusing. She asked a bell hop which way to the ballroom, and she headed in the direction in which he’d pointed and turned down a long carpeted hallway. Within a few yards she heard voices raised in anger and thought she recognized Jackie Loo Tong. No way could she pass up the opportunity to eavesdrop on a kumu throw down.

  She turned to face the twin elevators on the wall beside her and pretended to be waiting for one to open.

  “You t’ink you can steal my haumana and get away with it?”

  Em realized Kawika Palikekua was the one shouting at Jackie Loo Tong.

  “They aren’t your students,” Jackie fired back. “They were Mitchell’s, and he’s gone. They can go anywhere they want, and if they want to come to me, then I’ll take ’em.”

  “Don’t piss me off,” Kawika warned. “You don’t want to go there.”

  Jackie shot back, “You don’t scare me, brah. Pretty soon I’ll have all of Mitchell’s students. You’ll see.”

  “You can’t handle a big halau.”

  “You’re not going to be around dat long anyway. Mark my words,” Jackie warned.

  “Go to hell, Jackie.”

  “Oh, aloha, Kawika. See you there. You’ll get there first.”

  Em peered around the corner of the elevator alcove. Sure enough, there was Jackie Loo Tong looking smug as he watched Kawika walk into Island Fantasy Bar. Jackie started toward the elevators with his head down in concentration. Em slipped down the hall and didn’t breathe until she heard the elevator bell ping.

  “Don’t piss me off.” Or what? Kawika sounded dead serious when he warned Jackie not to push him.

  “Soon I’ll have all of Mitchell’s students. You’re not going to be around dat long anyway.” Another warning from Jackie. Anxious to report in to Roland, she realized she was already late for the stage rehearsal, and she’d promised Sophie and Kiki she would be there so she put off calling him.

  As Em walked into the craft fair and passed the first booth, she noticed Tiko had a long double line at her smoothie table.

  “Hi, Tiko.” Em walked to the front of the line.

  “Tell the Maidens good luck from me,” Tiko said.

  “Where are they?”

  Tiko pointed over her head. “Lined up for the rehearsal. By the ballroom doors.”

  Em hurried over. The Hula Maidens were so nervous they were not even harping at each other as they stared wide-eyed at the craft vendors. They barely acknowledged Em when she gave each of them a hug. Danny Cook’s trio had just arrived, and Kiki tore into them for being late though rehearsals were running behind schedule.

  Drumless, Pat Boggs marched up and down the line of Maidens like General Patton.

  “Okay you pussy toads, this is it. This here is almost the real deal. This here is the rehearsal before the rehearsal before the show. I’ve sneaked a peek at the competition, and there’s little childrens who dance better than you all, but if you put your feeble minds to it, you just might not fall over and embarrass yourselves.”

  “She’s right.” Little Estelle rolled along on Pat’s heels. “Get it together. Keep it together. Get it together. Keep it together.”

  Pat suddenly stopped and almost fell over the Gad-About. She leaned over until she was nose to nose with Little Estelle.

  “Grannie, my question is what part of ‘I am in charge here’ don’t you understand?”

  Little Estelle shot back, “I told you more than once I am not your grannie. If any of my offspring ever gave birth to something like you, I’d have made them leave you on a rock in the desert. You act like you were raised by a pack of wild dogs.”

  “Gators. It was a bunch o’ gators.”

  One of the double doors to the ballroom opened, and a regal looking Hawaiian woman wearing a floor length vintage muumuu and close to ten strands of rare shell lei crafted on the forbidden island of Ni’ihau stepped out to greet them.

  She waited until Pat fell silent, and all the Maidens, including Kiki, were waiting for her to speak. First she glanced down at the clipboard in her hands then slowly stared at each of the terrified, speechless haole women in their pareau.

  “I am Auntie Gloria. Are you the Hula Maidens?”

  “We are,” Kiki said.

  She looked them up and down. “Are you here to rehearse or are you ready for an afternoon by the pool?”

  “Rehearse,” Sophie told her.

  “Then you’re up next. Follow me, ladies.”

  Auntie Gloria led them into a ballroom filled with a sea of empty folding chairs. A papier-mâché rock waterfall filled the far corner from floor to ceiling. Dusty plastic ferns stuck out of its fake lava crevices. The huge empty stage had ten times the room the Maidens were used to at the Goddess. On the opposite wall a scaffold with risers held the sound technicians behind a light and sound control board. Behind them was a bank of windows that overlooked the hotel entrance with its circular
drive.

  The sky was picture perfect blue. Tall coco palms swayed on the gentle trades.

  As the Maidens listened first to Kiki and then to Pat give them last minute instructions on entering and exiting the stage, Em realized this was serious big time hula. Big time. She was as nervous for the Maidens as they were.

  She sat down in the first row and watched Pat pace in front of the stage. Sophie lined the women up, short dancers in front, taller dancers in back. She made certain Suzi was in the center front as the petite realtor had a better memory than the others.

  “Okay, hit it Danny,” Sophie called out.

  The Tiki Tones started playing the original song written by Kiki’s neighbor. Em didn’t understand the Hawaiian words, but as she watched the Maidens dance, their motions explained the lyrics. The women bowed as low as they could, miming the planting of taro in the muddy fields. They pulled hard to imitate pulling the taro roots out when they matured. They waded through mud, paused to wipe their brows as they toiled beneath the hot sun. They sashayed back and forth carrying heavy bags on their back and then proceeded to pound the taro into poi.

  Lillian fell out of step and threw off the entire back line.

  Sophie yelled, “Cut!” The band stopped.

  “I’ll do better!” Lillian cried. “Don’t throw me out of the show.”

  “Move over beside Flora.” Sophie pointed out Lillian’s new position. When she was inebriated, Flora was steady as a rock and never missed a step . . . until she passed out.

  The adjustment helped, but the group still looked stiff and scared.

  “Aka’aka,” Sophie pointed to her face, reminding them to smile.

  Half of them attempted a smile but wound up grimacing.

  The rest of the rehearsal went on without a hitch. When it was over, Auntie Gloria escorted them out without a word. Once they were in the craft fair area again, Tiko came running over.

  “Ladies, I have complimentary smoothies for you. Please stop by the booth. They’re my bestselling chocolate chip and Kauai coffee bean combos,” she said.

  Kiki made a prune face. “Sorry, but I don’t think I can stomach one.”

  “Oh, please. I’d like to make up for what happened last time,” Tiko urged.

  “Has Marilyn been anywhere near the booth?” Kiki asked.

  Tiko’s smile faded. “No. Not at all. I promise.”

  “Where is Marilyn?” Kiki asked Em.

  “I have no idea. Hopefully she won’t stop by and see Louie at the bar to ‘help’ him out while Sophie and I are both here.”

  “I hope you have a business left when you get home. I wouldn’t put it past her to steal the day’s take.”

  They all walked over to Tiko’s table where the line was fifteen people deep. Her cousin Charlotte was chatting and taking orders. Tiko had some all lidded and ready for the Maidens.

  “We really wish you’d join our group, Tiko,” Kiki pressed.

  “I’ll think about it,” Tiko promised. “Maybe. In a couple of months.”

  “Really! That would be so great.” Kiki was ecstatic.

  “No smoothie for you Kiki?” Tiko watched Charlotte pour soy milk into the blender.

  “Sorry, but there’s a seat in the bar with my name on it. I heard some of the musicians will be there jamming after rehearsals.” Kiki told them all goodbye and walked away.

  Em watched her head toward Island Fantasy. The other Maidens finished off their smoothies in record time and then fled to the bar after Kiki. Em walked out of the craft fair with Sophie.

  “Look over there,” she said, trying to be discrete as she nodded toward one of the wide pillars in the center of the room. “See the woman in the huge black hat and sunglasses?”

  “Is that who I think it is?”

  “Marilyn.”

  “Still spying for Jackie?” Sophie rolled her eyes.

  “Looks like it. I hope that’s all she’s doing here. At least she’s not at the Goddess with Louie.” Em tried not to stare at Marilyn. “So, how do you think rehearsal went?” she asked Sophie.

  Sophie, who had dyed her spikes neon lavender for the occasion, was clicking her tongue stud against her teeth. She stopped long enough to smile at a handsome local who sauntered by carrying a guitar case toward the bar.

  “Honestly, they were so scared they looked like a bunch of zombies who just learned to walk.”

  “Maybe you should let them drink before the show,” Em suggested.

  “Great. Drunken dancing zombies. You think?”

  “Sounds like a good name for one of Louie’s concoctions.” Em sighed. “I hope I didn’t make a mistake talking them into this.”

  Sophie eyed her carefully. “You know, I still can’t figure out why you wanted them in this competition so bad. It’s no day at the beach.”

  “So I see now. This is serious stuff. I just thought it would be great if they made a better showing than last time.”

  Em almost admitted Roland had wanted someone here with eyes and ears on Mitchell’s halau. But Sophie had stepped up and taken on the Maidens at the last minute, and she had enough on her plate without having to worry about a potential murderer in their midst.

  “I’ll just be glad when it’s over,” Sophie said.

  “Me too. Believe me.”

  “How about we join the girls at the bar? I’ll buy us both a Lava Flow.”

  “I’ve never seen you drink.” Em was shocked. She had never asked why because she figured it was none of her business. What she did know of Sophie’s past wasn’t pretty.

  “I’ve never needed one so bad. I just never drink at work.”

  “You go ahead. I need to make a couple of phone calls. Besides, I’m full of smoothie right now,” Em said.

  24

  Em Reports In

  With everyone occupied in the bar, Em went outside to the pool area. The Island Holiday Hotel was on the beach between the Wailua River and Hanamaulu, surrounded by what used to be cane fields but were now fields of waving weeds. Every so often a field mysteriously caught fire but no one seemed too concerned.

  There was an artificial grotto with a wall of water thundering down, three pools, a swim up bar, a restaurant on the beach, and the required sixty foot coconut palms swaying in the trade winds. Cue the tourists, Em thought as she gazed around.

  She pulled out her phone, called Louie.

  “Are you doing all right?”

  “Sure. I’ve been running this place since before you were born. I haven’t left the top off the blender once. The smoothies are a hit by the way, but I’ve been adding a shot of rum to them, though. Otherwise they’re kinda bland.”

  “You’re not putting rum in kids’ orders, are you?”

  “What?” he yelled.

  The place had to be crowded. She could barely hear him over the background noise. Glancing over her shoulder she checked to see if anyone was near. The last thing they needed was the liquor commissioner coming down on them.

  She cupped the cell phone. “You’re not putting rum in kids’ drinks, are you?”

  “Just a minute.” He called out, “Lady, get those naked kids off the windowsill. We don’t allow diving into the parking lot puddles.” There was another pause. “What did you say, Em?”

  “Stop putting rum in the smoothies.”

  “That’s no fun.”

  “I mean it. Stop. Sophie will be on her way in a few minutes.”

  “How is it going there?”

  “Fine. Rehearsal went fine.”

  “Good. Tell the gals hello from me. And Marilyn sends her love,” he added.

  Yeah right. “Was she there?” Em thought she had stopped by to see him before coming to the festival.

  “No, she couldn’t mak
e it. It’s just me and Kimo. Hey, did you hear Buzzy’s thinking of getting married?”

  “What?”

  “Buzzy’s thinking about getting married,” he yelled over the noise. “He was just talking about an underwater ceremony. His fiancée must be a diver.”

  Em hung up and walked into the grotto as she hit Roland’s number. Cooling mist sprayed off the waterfall. She stood at the end of the walk inside the fake cave where she could see the ocean a short distance away.

  “Em.” He answered on the first ring.

  “Hi. I’m at the hotel.”

  “What’s up?” His voice seemed to surround her.

  “Where are you? I’m hearing an echo.”

  “Turn around.”

  She turned. He was three feet behind her with his phone to his ear.

  “What are you doing here?” She shut off her cell.

  “I thought I’d stop to see how it’s going. I’m also checking out the space in the ballroom. When I dance for the closing ceremonies I don’t want the ballroom to go up in flames.”

  “Good idea.”

  “So what’s up?”

  “For one thing, a guy named Buzzy might be engaged to a dolphin.” She tried not to smile.

  “Buzzy the hippie handyman on the North Shore?”

  She nodded.

  “It’ll never last.”

  Em laughed. “Nothing gets to you, does it?”

  “I’ve seen too much to let a guy marrying a dolphin get to me. Gotta hang loose, as we say. So, you were calling about what?”

  She glanced around to make certain no one was nearby. She hoped the sound of the waterfall would muffle her words then she said, “Let’s walk on the beach.”

  They walked past the beach bar and grill where a couple of locals greeted Roland with waves and smiles. Then they crossed a grassy lawn area to the sandy beach. The trades were blowing across the water. In the distance she saw an inter-island jet bank and begin a landing at Lihue airport. Across the water to the southeast, too far to be seen, was the island of Oahu with its crowded freeways and tourist mecca of Waikiki.