Confusing Hearts (Westin Pack Book 4)

by Julie Trettel

  “Oh my gosh, that is heavy,” I commented.

  “I can handle the weight okay, it’s the size that always gets me,” she admitted. “It’s just easier with an extra set of hands. Thank you, dear.” She kicked the oven door shut with her foot as we lifted. Pots covered the stove top, so I wasn’t sure where to go. “Right over there. We’ll just set it down on the counter here,” she advised. “Perfect,” she said, clapping her hands in delight once the enormous pan was safely on the counter.

  “It smells wonderful. What is that?” I asked.

  “Oh, nothing fancy. It’s hams.”

  “Hams? As in plural?” I questioned.

  She removed the aluminum foil cover to reveal six large hams. They were sitting in some sort of orange colored liquid I couldn’t quite place.

  “Orange juice,” she whispered. “Old family secret. Always cook your hams with an inch of OJ. It keeps them moist and the flavor blends amazingly with smoked hams.”

  I looked around the kitchen in awe of the amount of food I saw. “I thought it was just immediate family at your infamous Tuesday night Westin family dinners?”

  She grinned. “Oh, it is, dear.”

  “Six hams? Isn’t that a bit much?”

  “My little family has grown quickly. There are thirteen of us now and if you weren’t aware, wolves like to eat, especially their meat.”

  I laughed. “I did know that. I just didn’t realize what that would look like for so many.”

  “Oh, this is nothing. Wait till you see a pack meeting meal.”

  “I can’t wait,” I told her, genuinely.

  “Well, if you guys stick around through the weekend, we have a pack run on Saturday,” she confessed.

  “What exactly happens at a pack run?” I asked.

  Mary excitedly motioned for me to sit down. “We hold pack runs once a month. Not all packs do them that frequently. The entire pack joins. We have a huge fellowship meal at the pack house. Just before sunset, as the moon is beginning to rise, Kyle will call the pack together, just out back here. He’ll say a few words, and everyone shifts, then runs toward the woods. For the first few minutes we’re all running as one, then large groups will break off together, and eventually some will separate out and run as couples or even solo on occasion. I really don’t know how to explain it, there’s just something so magical about pack runs.”

  She spoke with a dreamy voice like she was remembering some romantic pack runs of her past. I couldn’t even imagine what a sight that would be—so many wolves all changing and running together.

  “How many wolves are there in Westin Pack?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know for certain, but more than five hundred, probably less than a thousand, though I could be wrong on that. Only the Alpha knows for certain.”

  “I guess I’d stick out pretty bad in a setting like that. Probably best not to rub it in so soon,” I admitted.

  “I’m assuming your fur is solid black.”

  I nodded.

  “And you’re probably as big as an average wolf, maybe a little leaner.” It wasn’t really a question, but I nodded again anyway. “Chase’s wolf is solid black you know.”

  “Yes, I’ve seen it many times.”

  “I was certain you had. Westin has many solid black wolves. You wouldn’t look quite so out of place as you imagine. Maybe if you were a jaguar with defined spots or a tiger, who is much larger and has different coloring, but a black panther isn’t going to stand out among us as much as you think. If you were a rabbit or a fox, I might worry about you getting eaten, but I am certain you’ll be able to hold your own. Plus, Chase would never let anything happen to you. He would never leave your side on the run.”

  I shuddered at her words about being eaten. As a large animal of prey, I knew it was a natural instinct, but I could never stomach raw meat like that. On the rare occasion I had given wholly into my panther, she couldn’t go through with it either. Fortunately, it was an acceptable custom for my kind to deliver prey to the King, and so that is what I would do with kills. I didn’t know if that would be acceptable in the pack, though.

  “Um, do you kill and eat small prey often? Do you have hunts? They’re like your runs, only for food,” I tried to explain.

  “No, dear, we don’t. There are some who enjoy eating off the trails. No one will think anything of it if you’d prefer that.” I must have made a face, because she laughed. “I know that face well. Elise could never stomach a kill either.”

  “I’ve not had a choice really,” I confessed. “But we thankfully have the option to eat or present it to the King. Daddy always got my kills on a hunt.”

  “There are some wolves that still believe a hunt is a rite of passage and they take their children out almost as soon as they’ve shifted for the first time. Others find the practice archaic and unnecessary, much like other shifters find our challenges. Now, have Kyle and Chase properly explained the challenges to you?”

  “Yes ma’am. We’ve had several meetings and sparring sessions. I’m well equipped to hold my own in a battle.”

  “Wonderful. You don’t know how relieved I am to hear it,” Mary admitted.

  With my new upgraded hearing I heard the front door open. I didn’t have to hear the sound of voices though, because Chase’s scent hit me like a ton of bricks. I gasped, a little taken aback, and sniffed the air around me.

  Mary watched me closely. “Are you okay?”

  I shrugged. “Weird stuff has been happening since the bond,” I confessed, knowing I was blushing just mentioning the bond to Chase’s mom.

  “How so?”

  I sighed. I really needed someone to talk to. “I’m not talking about the bonding symptoms. Those are normal-ish. It’s the other stuff. Panthers don’t have super smelling and hearing like wolves, but mine have improved tenfold since we completed our mating. I can hear almost as good as a wolf, and just now when the door opened, I smelled Chase, like smelled him as clearly as if he were right here next to me.”

  Mary considered my words. “Hearing and smell are extremely important to wolves. It sounds as if, along with the bond symptoms, you’re also acquiring our greatest assets, too. Has Chase been experiencing the same?”

  I shrugged. “We haven’t really talked about it.”

  “Well then, what would be the most important attributes of a panther?”

  I thought for a moment. “Speed and agility, I suppose. Night vision, maybe.”

  She nodded. “That sounds reasonable. Let’s go test this theory.”

  Mary was up and walking out of the room, heading for the front door before I realized what was happening. I jumped up and ran after her.

  “Oh, look, it’s the majority of my babies here early. This never happens,” she accused.

  Liam looked sheepish. “Something smells really good, Mom.” He leaned down and kissed his mother’s cheek.

  “Don’t you try to butter me up now. Your father’s in with Kyle. Go get them. We have a slight change in plans for Tuesday night dinner. How about a little activity first?” She looked back over her shoulder at me and grinned conspiratorially.

  Without question Lily went to get Kyle and Jason. Maddie walked upstairs where the kids were playing.

  “I’ll call Elise and Patrick if you’d like,” Kelsey offered.

  “Tell them to stay put, we’re heading their way,” Mary said.

  She directed everyone into vehicles and took the lead in the first car herself. Chase and I had been told to ride with her and Jason. I sat in the back seat next to my mate, looking awkwardly out the window as we drove over to Patrick and Elise’s house.

  “You okay?” Chase whispered.

  I nodded without looking his way.

  “Jenna, what’s wrong?”

  I looked over at him finally and smiled. “Nothing, but I think you’re about to be tested. Sorry.”

  “Tested for what?” he asked.

  “Speed,” his mother interrupted. />
  “What’s all this about Mary?” Jason asked, so she relayed the information I had told her. He seemed to take it in stride and nodded his approval with obvious interest.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Chase asked me.

  I shrugged. “I wasn’t sure at first. It was kind of a slow process, not one defining moment. Okay, so the smell thing a few minutes ago took me back a little, but my hearing has been steadily improving. I knew from hanging out at the doghouse what my hearing limitations were around wolves. After we mated it seemed to improve some. At first, I thought I was just used to it and it wasn’t really any different, but then little things started happening that I really took notice of, like walking around campus last week with everyone whispering and talking about us.”

  “Shit, I never wanted you to hear all that,” Chase said.

  “Language, Chase,” his mother said sternly.

  “Sorry, Mom.”

  “Coming here, it was kind of obvious. I think all the new sounds made it a little clearer,” I confessed.

  “So why is my speed being tested?” Chase asked.

  “If Jenna is experiencing heightened attributes of wolves, your mother wants to see if the same is happening for you. Panthers are well known for their speed and agility,” his father said.

  “Do we have to do this in front of the entire family?” Chase asked.

  “Son, there’s nothing to be worried about. Your siblings have always been supportive of you,” Mary told him, but he didn’t respond, just turned and looked at his window.

  “Hey, what’s wrong? If you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. We were just curious,” I told him.

  Chase nodded. “You might as well know. My wolf isn’t as fast as my siblings. Even as a little boy, long before my wolf surfaced, I was just never fast. I was big and tough, just slow. So yeah, speed tests aren’t exactly my idea of family fun time. And with a name like Chase, everyone always expected me to be fast. It’s just not me. Plus, I run every single day both in my fur and my skin. You know that, Jenna. Don’t you think I would have noticed if something was changing?”

  “No,” I told him. “You run to a steady cadence. I’ve never seen you just let go and run, so I’m not sure you would have noticed.”

  He sighed and looked sad. I didn’t have to hear him say the words to understand he had been bullied as a kid for not being the fastest. I was certain being an Alpha’s kid didn’t help any, either.

  We arrived at Elise’s and they came outside as everyone got out, standing around waiting for instructions. Zander and Oscar were already wandering off to play in the field.

  “Okay Mom, we’re all here. Now what’s going on?” Kyle asked.

  “You don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to,” I said to Chase, all eyes turned our way.

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I do,” he finally said, quickly stripping off his clothes and shifting. His massive wolf rubbed up against me, letting me know it was okay. He always took my breath away, such a magnificent animal.

  “Jenna, I know panthers are short burst sprinters, whereas we are more distance runners. What do you think your short burst speed is?” Mary asked.

  “Panther animals can hit up to fifty miles per hour, but shifters are much faster. The fastest I’ve been clocked is zero to seventy-two in ten seconds.”

  Patrick whistled. “Girl, that is fast.”

  I shrugged. “I can’t sustain anywhere near that speed.”

  “Okay. Elise, mark off the half mile and one mile marks, take Liam and Maddie with you for that,” Mary instructed. Jason sat back, looking amused with his mate. I had a feeling that when Mary Westin set her mind to something, an act of God himself wouldn’t stop her. “Kelsey since you hold the record for the fastest known wolf, I’d like you to race him first.”

  Kelsey gave Kyle a helpless look. He smiled and walked over, putting his arm around his mate and nodding at her.

  “I’m sorry, Mary, I can’t. You’re going to have to use Kyle instead,” Kelsey said.

  The look on Mary’s face confirmed she was not a woman used to being told no.

  “Mom, listen to her. She can’t,” Kyle said, exaggerating the word “can’t.”

  I quickly looked back at Kelsey, wondering if they were trying to say what I thought they were saying. There was only one reason a female shifter wouldn’t, or rather couldn’t, shift.

  Kyle leaned over and kissed Kelsey’s cheek before rubbing her stomach. “Mom, she can’t shift . . .” he said, trying to make his point, confirming my suspicions.

  Mary gasped. “You mean?”

  They were both nodding confirmation.

  “We were going to tell you all tonight at the family dinner,” Kelsey said, happy tears in her eyes as everyone started hugging her and giving their congratulations. Chase howled and Liam, Maddie, and Elise came running back to hear the good news.

  Maddie started crying. “Stupid pregnancy hormones,” she said, wiping tears from her face.

  I wasn’t sure how far along Maddie was, but she was definitely showing. It was crazy. I could see a shift in the size of her belly just since the week before. I didn’t have enough experience with pregnancies to even guess when she might be due, but I loved the idea that both she and Kelsey were pregnant at the same time.

  Elise walked up next to me and put an arm around my shoulder. “Planning on joining them anytime soon?”

  “Oh God no!” I said, a little too quickly. I was still in college. Chase and I had just mated, we needed time together. I wasn’t ready to have a baby or even think about it. The horror at the thought must have shown on my face.

  Elise laughed. “Same! Lily’s not even mated yet, and with her massive crush on Cole Anderson, her true mate could probably walk up and slap her, and she’d be too blinded in lust to notice.”

  Lily snorted, hearing her, but didn’t argue it. “You guys will just have to wait for me then, so our babies will one day have cousins close in age to play with too,” she said.

  I shrugged. “Oscar and Zander seem close despite the age gap. Our kids will be fine . . . someday,” I added, reinforcing that someday would not be anytime soon.

  Elise squeezed my shoulder. “Just wait. The pressure hasn’t begun yet, but it will. Mom loves the idea of a house full of grandpups.”

  “Or cubs?” I asked.

  “You see our Oscar out there?” She pointed to him. I nodded. “Half pup, half cub. You really think any one of us love that boy any less because of it?” I shook my head as my eyes started burning while fighting back tears. The thought of my kids being loved as much as I’d witnessed these people love Oscar was too much. “Someday . . .” Elise said, causing me to laugh instead of cry.

  As the excitement of Kelsey’s news began to die down, Mary got back to the issue at hand.

  “Okay, well, Kyle we’ll use you then instead,” Mary finally said. “Now, get on with it, dinner’s getting cold.”

  Kyle stripped and shifted. I averted my eyes. I knew nudity was not a big deal for shifters, but my family was just more private about it. I think felines in general were more prude when it came to such things. And while Mary’s earlier description of a pack run had intrigued me, it wasn’t until that moment that it dawned on me the sheer number of naked people that would entail if they were all to shift at once.

  I looked back up to find everyone staring at me. I forgot, that I would need to shift in front of everyone else, too. I felt awkward and exposed. I turned my back to them and started to remove my shirt. A growl sounded just behind me. I looked over my shoulder just in time to see Elise roll her eyes and start to walk away. All other backs were towards me as my wolf stood watch, giving me the privacy he must have known I needed.

  I made quick work of my clothes and shifted to stand in my place beside Chase’s magnificent wolf. My panther rubbed up against him and purred.

  Mary turned back around at my sounds and froze. She clapped her hands together and
smiled. “Jenna, dear, your panther is as gorgeous as you.” I nodded my large head in acknowledgement. “Okay, Chase, take Jenna to the lineup. The rest of you, back in place,” she instructed.

  I followed Chase to where Kyle’s wolf stood. I hadn’t looked at him earlier and was surprised to find a very large brown wolf. For some reason it seemed odd to me. Chase’s was black, so I guess I had assumed all Westin pack wolves were black. I mean, I knew wolves came in a variety of colors, I just assumed those in a pack had similar colorings, or maybe that was just because of all the purity crap my daddy had engrained in us growing up. Coloring was so important to him that it had never once dawned on me that wolves, in the same family, especially, wouldn’t all look similar.

  Mary instructed us to line up. It was half a mile to Elise and we were told to run as fast as we could to that line, one at a time for accurate timing. Kyle took off first. He was fast, but I knew he was nowhere near as fast as I was.

  Next, Mary signaled me to go. With a quick burst of adrenalin, I took off. I loved the feel of the wind running over my short fur. I pushed ahead as fast as my legs would allow and didn’t even begin to slow until I flew by Elise. Stopping took almost another half mile, and I could see Patrick just up ahead.

  As I turned to head back, Chase blew past me. I couldn’t believe it. He was so fast he was practically a blur. He finally slowed around Patrick and headed back. I could see shock in his big brown eyes. The others were talking animatedly when we returned to the starting line, confirming my suspicions. Chase had gotten faster.

  “Well, wow, that was really fast, Chase,” Lily said excitedly. “I’ve never seen a wolf that fast. Should he run the full five miles? I bet he’s faster than Kelsey even.”

  “Maybe,” Jason said. “Remember, if he’s truly getting his speed from his bond to Jenna, panthers are short distance runners.”

  I nodded my agreement.

  “But if she merely enhanced him, and wolves are distance runners, it’s possible he’ll see an improvement there, too,” Mary argued.