Killer Secrets

by Sherrie Orvik

  Confusion and uncertainty filled her eyes, and James knew they would have to talk to Dr. Manning. “I’m right here.” He mouthed the words to her and they turned to face the doctor.

  “How do you know—”

  “Do you have an office?” James hated interrupting her, but he wasn’t about to have this conversation in front of the glass entrance, where she could be seen. “Somewhere more private we could go to have this discussion?”

  Dr. Manning looked at him, his forehead wrinkled, his thin lips pressed together into an even thinner line. “Yes. We can go in my office, just down the hall.”

  Their footsteps echoed against the cold, bare walls as they hurried toward the privacy of Dr. Manning’s office. Manning turned his head and threw James a look of concern.

  James had concerns of his own. If this guy was Maggie’s doctor, as he claimed to be, then how did he know about Elyse’s nightmares? And why would it be such a concern that she had stopped coming? She hadn’t seen her mother in years before she got word of her illness. Surely Manning would have known Maggie and Elyse weren’t close.

  They stepped into Dr. Manning’s office, and he closed the door, then turned to James and Elyse. “Alright, would one of you like to tell me what’s going on?”

  “You first.” James set the box on the floor, but kept a close eye on Manning.

  “Elyse was also my patient. She began seeing me shortly after her first visit to her mother. I really can’t say anything else in front of you. It would breach doctor-patient confidentiality, and I can’t do that without her written permission.”

  “I’ll give it,” she said.

  “I really wouldn’t advise that, as your doctor, of course. Our conversations were quite…personal.”

  She answered Manning, but looked at James, never breaking eye contact. “Whatever I told you, he can hear it. I…trust him.”

  James couldn’t let his emotions show. Not here, in front of a stranger, even if he was Elyse’s doctor. He hoped she could see what he felt in his eyes.

  “If that’s your wish.” Dr. Manning nodded, his eyes narrowed at James. He pulled a form from the file cabinet and handed it to Elyse. She set it on the desk and signed it.

  “What do you know about my nightmares?” Her tone was curt, and James felt the corner of his mouth pull up ever so slightly. Her eyes glimmered with that spark that he hadn’t seen in a while.

  “Only that you’d been having them since the—” He paused. “Let’s just say since the incident.” He reached toward her to put his hand on her shoulder.

  She backed up and glared. “You mean since my mother was put away for murdering my family? Or maybe you mean since my foster family beat me?”

  “Well, alright,” he said, his tone obliging. “Your past was difficult for you to discuss before, and I didn’t want to cause any kind of setback.”

  “Look,” she said scowling, “I may not remember everything, but I’m pretty sure I’m not the shrink type. I don’t need to discuss my past to get over it, and I can’t imagine ever wanting to. Exactly how many times did I see you as your patient?”

  James winced at the first part of her comment. Dr. Manning didn’t need to know about her amnesia. At the same time, he couldn’t help but smile. He remembered very well what it was like to be on the receiving end of her sharp tongue. He’d almost missed that side of her. He hadn’t seen it for a while now, and he was happy to see she still had it in her. And happy he wasn’t taking the brunt of it.

  “Just once,” Dr. Manning replied. “But we had several appointments set up. You had agreed to meet with me three days a week. You wanted to resolve the past so you could sleep without the nightmares.”

  “Yeah, well they’re resolved, so take me off your schedule.”

  “I really don’t think that’s a good idea, Elyse. You had a very difficult past, and until you deal with it, you’re going to be plagued by the nightmares. And now you say you have some memory loss?”

  “Look,” she argued, ignoring his question. “I’m not coming here three days a week so you can tell me how I secretly hated my parents or some crap like that. I have nightmares because I found my family murdered. End of story.”

  “So you do still have them?”

  Elyse was handling everything well, but James felt a little like Dr. Manning was beginning to badger her.

  “She said they’re resolved. Now, take Miss Benson off of your schedule like she asked, and we’ll be on our way.”

  “If that’s what my patient wants,” Dr. Manning said, looking at Elyse. He walked behind the desk and pulled out his appointment book.

  “It is.”

  “I’ll cancel your appointments, then. But Elyse,” he grabbed a business card and held it out to her. “If you ever need me, please don’t hesitate to call. I’m only trying to help you. And I really am glad to see you.”

  “Thanks.” James grabbed the card from Dr. Manning and stuck it in his pocket. He could throw it away at home.

  They had been doing just fine without him. James was helping her “deal with her past,” as Dr. Manning had put it. He had been there for every nightmare over the past few weeks, nightmares that were becoming fewer and fewer. She didn’t need some shrink filling her head with nonsense, and James didn’t trust him.

  “I’ll be fine,” Elyse said, stomping out of the office ahead of James.

  He grabbed the box, caught up to her, and put his free arm around her waist. He could feel the tension in her body. He hurried her to the truck and started driving as soon as they were in.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” She looked straight ahead. “Fine.”

  She wasn’t fine and he knew it. Manning had bothered her. The fact that her mother had only kept the single photo bothered her. It bothered him. There had to be a reason she’d kept newspaper articles instead of family pictures, and he was going to find it.

  Chapter 10

  Elyse looked at the clock in the kitchen. Six o’clock. They’d left so early for the hospital, it seemed like it should be much later.

  The drive in the truck hadn’t been a smooth ride, and her side ached. The image of her mother’s empty, sterile room kept running through her mind. And then there was the encounter with Dr. Manning. She had hoped today would bring her answers, or some kind of closure, but it had done the opposite. The questions racing through her mind were relentless.

  James hadn’t said much since they’d been back, except to ask her what she wanted for dinner. Helen had taken Pops to see a movie, so the house was quiet. Only the occasional sound of Oden changing positions on the wood floor broke the silence.

  James made sandwiches and set a plate down in front of her.

  “Thanks.” She picked up half, looked at it, and set it back on the plate. Her stomach was in turmoil, and the thought of eating didn’t help. She pushed the plate away.

  “Come on,” James urged. “They’re not strawberry waffles, but they’re not bad.”

  “I’m sure they’re fine, but I can’t. I don’t think my stomach could handle it right now. If it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll go up to my room. I might just go to bed.”

  He looked at her, his eyes filled with compassion. He had that five-o’clock shadow she loved so much, the one that made him more attractive than usual. He pressed his lips into a smile and nodded.

  “It’s okay. Go get some rest. I’ll come and check on you in a little while.”

  There he went again. Doing things that made her heart skip. Things that made her fall a little more every day. Things she’d miss when she left.

  Oden followed her upstairs and lay on the rug beside the bed. Maybe just a short nap would make her feel better.

  Crack!

  The clap of thunder and flash of lightning woke Elyse from her restless sleep. She reached up and wiped the sweat from her face, then glanced at the clock on the nightstand. 3:00 a.m.

  James was asleep in the chair, his legs thrown over one arm, his head
resting against the side of the wardrobe. She wondered how long he’d sat there before he fell asleep. His face and neck glistened with beads of sweat, and his t-shirt clung to his perfect chest. She imagined pulling it over his head and letting her hands and lips wander his body.

  Her breathing sped, and she tried to slow it, but the summer storm had made the air hot and humid. She needed fresh air. The window beckoned her to open it and let in the breeze that was cooling the air outside. The floor creaked when she stood and she froze. James stirred, but didn’t wake up. She tiptoed to the window and began turning the crank.

  Crack!

  A flash of lightning illuminated the street below, revealing the figure of a man standing across the street.

  Or was it? It had been a long, difficult day. It was hot, and she hadn’t slept well. Maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her.

  Crack!

  Another flash lit up the night sky. She jumped away from the window, her heart violently beating a warning.

  James eyes shot open. He jumped out of the chair and pulled her quaking body away from the window.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I…I needed air…”

  “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  “Across the street…I think I saw…someone.”

  “Stay here. Away from the window,” he commanded. “Oden, come.”

  She listened to the sound of James and Oden running down the stairs and out the front door. She paced the room, thinking of all the things that could happen to them. James wasn’t armed, and he had been sound asleep. Was he alert enough to chase someone? She wasn’t even one hundred percent sure anyone had been out there.

  Her heart beat so hard she thought it might burst through her chest.

  The anxious minutes passed, feeling like hours. She heard the front door close, and footsteps coming up the stairs. Only footsteps. Not the clicking of Oden’s nails.

  What if her attacker had found her? What if he’d found James first? She looked around the room, hoping to find something she could use to defend herself. She stood, frozen, watching the door knob turn. The fear that coursed through her as the door opened was quickly replaced by relief when James walked into the room.

  “Oh, thank God!” She ran to him and threw her arms around his rain-soaked body. He grabbed her wrists and held them in front of him, looking her in the eye. His nostrils flared, his breath labored.

  “Dammit, Elyse, I’ve told you to stay away from the windows! What part of stay away from the windows don’t you understand?”

  Her legs stiffened, adrenaline surged through her and clouded her vision. Her pulse pounded in her ears. The room spun around her and her breathing sped, keeping time with her racing heart.

  “Let me go,” she said through her tight throat.

  He released her arms and she backed away, stopping when she hit the wall.

  He took a step towards her and she pressed back, as if she could become one with the drywall. He stopped and raised his hands in front of him.

  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—”

  “Leave me alone!”

  “I will never hurt you, I promise,” he said, his voice quiet, his expression pained.

  She held his gaze, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “What? No…I know that. It’s me…you’ll get hurt because of—”

  Crack!

  Thunder shook the walls and she reached for him, grasping him as if he was a life preserver and she was drowning.

  His wet clothes clung to every muscle in his body. The smell of him—his cologne, his sweat, his hair—mingled with the smell of electrified rain and made her breath speed. She pressed her cheek into his chest and he pulled her close, his hold firm but gentle. She’d never felt anything this close to euphoria before. She’d remember this. This wasn’t the kind of feeling you could ever forget.

  The sound of his heartbeat raced in her ear, each beat knocking down the wall she’d built around her own heart. His hand slid up her back, awakening every nerve ending before stopping in the nape of her neck. He gently pulled her head back and gazed into her eyes.

  “He’s going to kill you if you don’t let me go,” she whispered through her tears.

  He raised his brow and shook his head slowly. “He’s not. And I can’t.”

  He brushed his lips soft against hers, flooding her with need. Every part of her responded to his kiss—her mouth pressed harder to his and her hands slid under his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against her fingertips.

  He pulled back, holding her gaze as he reached for the bottom of her tank top, his trembling fingers lighting her belly on fire as he took her shirt off.

  She took hold of the bottom of his shirt and slowly pulled it over his head, then pressed her skin against his as he kissed her again. He kissed her neck, and she dropped her head back, yielding to him completely. He kissed her shoulder, soft and slow, and she answered with kisses on his chest.

  His skin was hot against her mouth, and she wanted more of him. She wanted all of him. Until now, she hadn’t realized how much she longed for human touch. And his was ecstasy. She craved him, as if she’d been wandering the desert and he was water. She reached for the top button of his jeans, and he pulled back. “Are you sure?” he whispered.

  She held his gaze and nodded, continuing to unbutton his jeans. He kissed her, this time a little harder, as if he couldn’t breathe and she was his oxygen. Maybe she was. Right now, he was hers.

  He picked her up and laid her on the bed, then lowered himself beside her. Only the two of them existed now, nothing else mattered. She belonged to him, and he was hers.

  Making love with him, and now lying in his arms, was perfect. She didn’t know how long it had been since she’d had physical contact, but she knew nothing could’ve come close to the pure happiness and contentment she felt right now. The thunder and lightning had stopped, leaving only the rhythmic patter of rain against the window. James ran his fingers through her hair while her fingers stroked his chest.

  “No one was out there.”

  She turned her gaze upward to meet his.

  “What?”

  “Outside. There may have been someone there when you looked out, but they were gone by the time Oden and I got there. The wind and rain took away any scent trail Oden could have followed.”

  “Oden…where’s—”

  “Pops was up—Oden’s with him downstairs.”

  “Maybe I didn’t see anything. It was dark, stormy…I can’t be sure of what I saw or didn’t see.”

  “You have to be more careful. If your attacker finds out you’re here, I’ll have no choice but to move you somewhere else. Do you understand? Somewhere else.”

  She nodded. His point was perfectly clear. Somewhere else-without familiarity, without Pops, Oden—without him. But she had to be without him, especially now.

  His life was in danger now, too, and it was her fault. She couldn’t lose him, and she didn’t want to ever be without him. But being without him and knowing he was alive was better than the alternative.

  “I…I think maybe I’ll have one of those sandwiches now,” she said. He propped himself onto one elbow as she stood and pulled his t-shirt over her head.

  “Everything okay?” He asked. She sat on the bed, pulled her pajama shorts on, then kissed him, trying to memorize the feeling of his lips on hers without crying.

  “Everything couldn’t be more perfect,” she finally said. “You should get some sleep.”

  “Yeah. Hurry back?”

  She nodded, then went down to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of milk.

  “Elyse?” Pops shuffled into the kitchen, Oden by his side. “Everything’s clear—you’re safe. Why are you still up?”

  “Yeah, I know…I…couldn’t sleep.”

  He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “Something’s bothering you. What is it?”

  Everything was bothering her. This was bothering her. Him sitting across from her a
t the kitchen table. Her wishing he was her grandfather, that she was part of this family. Making love to James made her wish that even more. But she knew it couldn’t happen. Being here only put all of them at risk. James had been put on leave on account of her. The sooner he found her attacker, the sooner she could leave, he could get his life back, and they’d be safe.

  She smiled at him. “I’m just really going to miss you when I leave.”

  “Leave? Where are you going?”

  “Well, eventually I’ll have to go home.”

  He frowned. “Now wait just a minute, young lady. This is your home. Is James not being a good husband? Because I can talk to him for you if you want me to.”

  She fought the tears that were trying to form in her eyes as her heart broke, again. “Pops, James isn’t…” She couldn’t do it. She smiled and took Pops by the hand. “James is a great husband. Listen, why don’t I walk you back upstairs? Maybe we can both get some sleep.”

  She got Pops back into his room, and then went to her room. James was in the shower down the hall, and she contemplated joining him. That couldn’t happen again, though. She looked at her empty bed, then lay down, softly crying against Oden’s silky fur.

  Oden didn’t move when she let go of him and threw her head back onto her pillow. She closed her eyes, wishing she could see anything besides James, pulling her shirt off…

  * * *

  James stood in the shower, cold water running over his body, trying to get Elyse out of his head, but it wasn’t working. He wrapped a towel around his waist and went down the hall to her room, then reached for the knob, but paused. He wanted to be close to her, but should he? He argued with himself for what seemed like an eternity, then opened her door.

  She lay on her bed, sound asleep, her face the most peaceful he’d seen it since they’d met. Probably best. He closed her door and went back to his room. His entire body ached, wanting to hold her, to taste her lips again, and…

  And nothing. Even if she wasn’t in your custody, she’s still Margaret Benson’s daughter. You can’t cross the line again.

  He closed his eyes, hoping he could fall asleep, but the images of making love with her played over and over in his head.