I knock on his door and jump into his arms when he opens it, hugging him tight. “Hey, beautiful. I guess you liked your door.”
“I love my door! I want to kiss you so bad right now.”
“I’m never going to say no to a kiss from you, so by all means, use my lips.”
I smile before leaning up to kiss him. We start out slow, like always, but this time it’s not enough for me. I need more. I need him. I’m still scared and unsure, but I want to celebrate with Zane in the best way possible. And that means taking a leap of faith, one I didn’t think I was brave enough for. But if these last few months have taught me anything, it’s that I’m stronger and braver than I ever imagined I could be. It’s time to just go for what I want, so I break the kiss and say it.
“I haven’t seen your bedroom yet.”
He swallows hard. “You want to see my bedroom.”
“Kind of.”
“I’m a little confused here. You gotta help me out—tell me what you’re thinking.”
Go big or go home, right? “I’m thinking that I want you to take me to your bed and make me come hard all night.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, Zane, I’m sure. Are you going to let me have your cock or not?”
“You don’t have to ask, baby. It’s been yours, and yours alone, for seven years.”
I reach down and grab it, stroking him through his basketball shorts as he growls at me. “I just can’t decide if I want to suck it first or cover it with my pussy right away.”
That snaps the control he was holding onto. He bends down and throws me over his shoulder, carrying me into the bedroom. I’m dropped onto the middle of the bed where I bounce a little. “69, Q. We’re going to 69. After I make you scream against my cock, I’m going to put it in your wet pussy and fuck you so hard this bed will probably break.”
Fucking hell! This is why I can’t hold out any longer. His mouth is a lethal weapon and I want to be taken down hard. I move onto my knees and pull my dress off. He watches me with hungry eyes as he pulls his shorts off.
That’s all he had on. No shirt, no underwear. Hot damn. I’m the one with hungry eyes now as I take in his beautiful, inked body. I’ve seen it a million times, but the view never gets old. All that ink, along with his cut muscles and big cock, are almost enough to make me come right then and there.
“I like your bra and panties, Q, but they need to come off.”
“It sounds like you’re asking for permission. Or is it a show you want?”
He doesn’t say anything, just takes his cock in hand and starts stroking it as he walks to the edge of the bed. That’s enough of an answer for me. I slide my bra straps down before undoing the front clasp. I lean back on my arms and let the bra fall down my arms, before cupping my breasts and playing with my nipples. He’s pumping a little harder now. I lick my lips, which brings a string of curses from his mouth.
I stand on the bed and hook my thumbs in the sides of my lace boy shorts. I slowly move then over my hips, inch by inch. When they’re just above my mound, I shove my hand in the front and start circling my clit. He lowers his eyes and I see him watching. I know I don’t have much time before he loses all control and takes over, but I drag it out a little longer before finally using both hands to push the panties all the way down my legs. I kick them off seconds before he’s on the bed.
He slides between my legs and pulls me down onto his face. I lean forward and take his cock into my mouth. We’re both licking and sucking, and damn!—if f I haven’t missed this. His teeth get involved when I suck him as far in as possible, and I’m actively fucking his face now. He slides two fingers into me and he gets what he wants. I’m screaming around his cock as I come so hard, I almost black out.
As soon as I start to come down, he rolls us over and flips me around. He slams into me as he bites my neck and whispers in my ear. “Yeah, baby, that’s it. Soak my cock.”
“Oh God, Z.” I want to say more, but I can’t. The bed’s shaking and I really think we may break it as he pounds into me. I build again fast, but this time I’m screaming his name out loudly as I come a second time.
“Fuck, Q, fuucckk!” he yells as he comes. He collapses on top of me, and I pull him close. “That was…I don’t even know. My God. It’s so good with you, baby. So good.”
He lifts his head up and kisses me sweetly. “The bed didn’t break. We may have to try again.”
“Just give me a few minutes,” he laughs. He moves off of me and pulls me onto his chest. “I love you so much.”
“Thanks for celebrating with me.” I still can’t say the words back yet. It’s too soon.
“The celebration’s not over. I picked up some stuff to make you dinner and went to Drago Sisters, which Maggie recommended, to get some cupcakes since I didn’t have time to make them myself.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I mean, I didn’t expect to be in bed with you tonight, but I was definitely hoping you’d let me help you celebrate.”
“I’d apologize for messing with your plans, but I’m not sorry we ended up here. I don’t think you are either.”
“Definitely not sorry about ending up in bed with you, Q. I am sorry that I neglected these in my haste to get inside of you, though.” He leans down and takes one nipple in his mouth, while caressing the other one with his hand.
“I’m never letting you out of bed if you don’t stop,” I tell him as I arch up into his mouth and hand.
He moves away from me, which I wasn’t expecting. “Then I have to stop. I want to cook for you and give you a little romance before I make love to you again.”
“I don’t really need romance, you know.” Although, I kind of do.
“Whether you need it or not, you definitely deserve it. And I’m going to give it to you. Now, you can wait in here or hang out with me while I cook.”
“I think I might just lie here. I’m crashing a little after all the excitement of the day, coupled with those two awesome orgasms.”
“Take a nap, then. I’ll get you up when everything’s ready.”
Zane kisses me on the forehead before getting out of bed. He puts his shorts back on, then stops at the door to turn back to me. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Quinn. I don’t think I told you that earlier, but I am.”
“Thanks. That means a lot.” I roll over and fall asleep, thinking about how happy I am.
* * *
Zane
I can’t believe Quinn is in my bed. I thought this would be harder. It should’ve been harder. I mean, what I did, despite my reasons, was seriously fucked up. But I have my girl back now, and I won’t screw things up again.
I get dinner made and the candles are lit when Quinn walks into the living room wearing one of my t-shirts. “Hey. How was your nap? Did my beautiful girlfriend get enough sleep?”
“My nap was good, but Zane, I’m not your girlfriend.”
What? “But we…I thought…”
“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression about what happened earlier. I like that we’re becoming friends again, but I can’t let you all the way back in. At least not yet. I just don’t trust you. I wish I could, but I’m not there yet.”
I knew it was too easy. “What’s the plan, then? We’re just fuck buddies?”
“That or just friends. It’s up to you. This is where I am right now. I won’t feel bad about it. You tore us apart and it’s not going to be easy to put us back together. I honestly don’t know if that’s even possible, really. I want to be with you, but right now it can only be about hanging out, and sex, if you want that. Nothing official and no titles.”
“I don’t seem to have a choice about this.”
“I didn’t have a choice when you left me.”
“So this is my punishment?”
“No. It’s just all I can offer you right now. Which means, I am giving you a choice.”
I can tell that she’s serious as a heart attack, and I should be saying
yes. I didn’t expect to get to make love to her while winning her back, so this is a good thing. I know it in my head, but unfortunately my heart is in the driver’s seat right now, and it’s not going for it. At all.
“Thanks for the choice. I’m afraid I have to decline. You’re welcome to take your portion of dinner with you, but I’d like you to leave now, please.”
Her eyes widen and her mouth drops open. “Seriously?”
“Yep.”
She turns and storms back into the bedroom, slamming the door. When she walks out a few minutes later, she’s dressed in her clothes. “Keep your food. I’ll find my own,” she says as she walks past me and out the door.
I sink onto the couch with my head in my hands. I’m back to square one, or actually, maybe further behind than when I got here. I just couldn’t do it. We never had that kind of relationship, and I wouldn’t settle for it now. I need to talk to someone, so I take out my phone and dial Scott’s number.
“Hey man, how’d dinner go?”
“It didn’t.”
“Really? You decorated her door, right? I thought she’d love that.”
“Oh, she did. She showed me just how much.”
“She showed you?” I stay silent and he gets it. “Oh, damn man, why are you calling me if the two of you ended up in bed?”
“I thought we were back together after that, but she told me we’re not. I kicked her out.”
“Hold up. You fucked her and then kicked her out?” There’s a commotion on his side of the line, and I hear him telling someone to calm down. I know it’s Yasmin, I better put my deadbolt and chain on the door tonight. I have a feeling she might come after me. “Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“She said it could only be about sex. She doesn’t want to be my girlfriend. I want more. I want all of her. I can’t just have sex with her. I can’t.”
“Hold on a sec. I need to explain to Yas because she wants to kick your ass right now.”
I wait while he covers his phone and talks to his wife. She’s super close to Quinn, and I know she hasn’t forgiven me for leaving her. I’m lucky Scott’s talking to me, but he knows me well enough to know that I meant it when I told him I love her and know how badly I fucked up. That’s why he agreed to help me.
“Okay. Yas says that while your intentions seem honorable, you probably gutted Quinn. Again. We both agree that you should just take what you can get for now. She’ll come around if she sees that you’re willing to go along with her terms.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right.” And I do. If that’s all she can give me, then that’s what I’ll take. It’s way better than nothing, although I think it’s totally going to fuck with my head and heart. I deserve it, though, and we both know it.
“Go beg, dude. We’ve all done it and it was way worth it in the end.”
“Alright. I’m going. Thanks to both of you.”
I decide that my best course of action is to stay as I am, in just my boxer briefs. I walk next door and knock on her door. She opens the door after a couple of minutes of making me sweat. “What do you want, Zane?”
“I heard there was an opening available for a sex slave. I was hoping to apply.”
“What changed your mind? You just kicked me out less than ten minutes ago.”
“Honestly?” She raises an eyebrow and nods. “I called Scott. He and Yasmin told me I should take whatever you’re willing to offer me, and I realized they’re right. So whatever you want me for is what I’ll be for you.”
“Let’s go have that dinner you cooked for me. Then I’m going to climb onto that big cock of yours and ride it until I pass out.”
Damn. Why did I think this was a bad idea again? I get some meals, friendship, and a ton of sex with the woman I love. I can definitely work with this for now. “Yes, please,” I tell her as I pick her up and carry her next door. We do exactly what she wanted. All night.
Chapter 4
Quinn
Everything has been going so well for Zane and me these past weeks. I think he finally realizes that I’m not trying to punish him with keeping my distance emotionally. I just need time to trust him again. He can’t say anything to make me feel better. I have to see it daily. And I am.
I got the keys for my future shop this morning and asked him to meet me there. I have something to ask him, something I’d like him to do for me. I’m pretty sure he’ll say yes, but I have a back-up plan just in case. My new space is in a group of shops next to the indie bookstore downtown, The Writer’s Block. The owners, Scott and Drew, are really nice. They made a point to introduce themselves when I was checking out the space¸ and their store is really cool, too. They even have a small barn in there.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t hear Zane pull up until a shadow falls over my driver side window. I look up and smile at him as he opens my door. “Hi Q. You were thinking hard in there.”
“Yeah. I have something to ask you, but just in case you say no, I was working out my Plan B.”
“There’s nothing I can think of you asking me that I’d say no to. You should know that by now.”
“I-I’m trying to know that.”
He nods. “I know. I’ll take that for now. What did you want to ask?”
“Let’s go inside first.”
I lead him into my space. It’s not huge, but it’s a nice size for my first shop. Although it’s empty, I can see in my mind where everything should go. I’ve started ordering some cool racks and stuff already. I can’t wait for it to come together. That’s what I need Zane for.
“Q? Quinn? You look nervous. Do you need money? Is that it? It’s yours if you do.”
“What? No. I don’t need money. Especially when you’re not really working.”
“The shop’s doing great. Even with me not there. My regulars all said they’d wait as long as it takes, and Chad’s been bringing in new business. Plus, the Griffin clients have been paying me very well for their tattoos. No worrying about me.”
“That’s really good to hear. I’ve been feeling guilty.”
“Don’t. Now talk to me, babe.”
“Would you do my walls? I want them to look like big, old-school tattoos are all over them.”
“Fuck yeah.”
“That was easy.”
“I told you I can’t say no to you. It’s physically impossible. Do you need a logo, too?”
He did say no to me, though. When it mattered most to me. I turn my head so he can’t see it on my face, but I’m too late. Zane sees and he knows. He pulls me into his arms and kisses the top of my head. We just stay there for a few minutes, holding onto each other.
“I’m trying. I am. I just keep remembering.” I take a deep breath. “A logo would be great.”
“I know. I’m going to keep doing everything I can to prove to you that I’ll never leave you again.”
“I think I’m ready to hear about what happened. Can you come over when I get back from L.A. on Thursday?” I’m going to buy fabric. They have an outpost of Mood there, and I can’t wait to get started.
“Of course. Anything you want.”
“Anything?” I bite my lip and watch his eyes go dark.
“Here?”
I nod. “Not in front of the windows, but the back room…I mean, if you want.”
In less than a second, his mouth’s on mine and we’re moving backward. I push his shirt up as we go through the door, and he’s got my halter undone already. We break the kiss to look around. There’s a low counter along one wall; Zane smiles when he sees it.
I spin away from him and put my hands on the counter, because I know what he wants. What we both want. The top of my dress is around my waist. He steps behind me and makes quick work of my red lace bra. I reach back and unbutton his jeans as he plays with my breasts, running his thumbs over the edges of the flowers covering them. The flowers he put there. When his jeans are loose enough, I shove my hands into his jeans and push them down along with his
briefs.
“Do you remember when I gave you these lotus blossoms, Q?” he asks as he circles my nipples lightly before pinching them.
“Yes,” I manage to breathe out on a moan. “I remember after, too. When you wrapped them so carefully and then fucked me so hard while I was bent over your table.”
“I’m going to fuck you hard right now, too, babe. Really hard. Can you take it?”
“You know I can,” I tell him as I wrap my hands around his cock.
He slides his hands down and grabs the bottom of my dress, pulling it up to my waist. Then he puts his hands inside my thong and starts rubbing. “I do know. You’re ready for me already, and I’ve barely touched you.”
“I’m always ready when you’re in the room,” I get out as he rips my thong off.
“I know that, too. Now hold on.”
I let go of him and put my hands in front of me to grab onto the counter. He teases me a little, running his cock over my ass, and the down further, before entering me in one hard thrust. I arch my back, but don’t loosen my hold on the counter. I know better. It’s only going to get rougher, and I’m going to love every damn minute of it.
“Oh yeah. That’s it, babe. You like it, I can feel how much. I can barely stay in you, you’re so wet for my cock.”
“Yes. Come first, I need to feel you lose control. Please, Zane.”
He grabs my hips harder and works us both into a frenzy as he slams into me, over and over again. When he comes, it’s hard and loud. The sounds that come out of him are animal-like and it pushes me over the edge right after him. We both sink to the floor, panting, as he pulls me onto his lap.
“Fuck, Q. Seven years later and you still make me so crazy that I can’t see straight.”
“Same here, Z. Same here.” It’s all I can say as I try to catch my breath and not pass out. I’m not going to be able to ever enter this room without thinking about what we just did and how amazing it was.
* * *
Zane
Quinn’s getting back from L.A. today, but we have to postpone our talk. Tonight is poker night at Owen’s and girls’ night at Sean and Erika’s house. We’ve both been told that we can’t miss either one, even if they have to drag us. It’s only been two days that we’ve been apart, but I wanted my girl. And I wanted to talk to her. It’s important that she knows what went on in Chicago, especially since Whitney won’t stop calling and texting.
Designing the Love Page 3