Volume 6 - The Wavering of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  “I can’t do it,”

  Nakagawa’s voice suddenly went soft,

  “Right now, I don’t think I’m capable of seeing her. If I saw Nagato-san’s face, I would faint at once. Actually, I have seen her from afar recently. That time, it was just outside the supermarket by the station… though it was at night, I still recognized her back, I was instantly frozen, and I stood there until the supermarket was closing. If I were to meet her directly… the consequences would be unimaginable!”

  Oh boy, Nakagawa has been completely infected by the love virus. He even set out his plans for the next ten years, such was an indication of how serious his illness was. While there exists a cure, it’ll only be available after he has been awestruck by meeting the alien directly, and then having her reject him and run away.

  Besides, he has already gone to great lengths to call a person he barely knew just to bemoan his agony. Even more terrifying, it was impossible to predict what he’s going to say next. I already have to put up with Haruhi, and now Nagato has brought me another annoying person to deal with.

  Sigh I deliberately sighed loudly so that Nakagawa could hear,

  “Well, basically I understand already. Just repeat what you want me to say to Nagato.”

  “Thank you, Kyon,”

  Nakagawa sounded really grateful,

  “We’ll definitely invite you to our wedding. I’ll have to ask you to write a speech for us then, you’ll be the first to give the speech. I’ll never forget you for my whole life. If you ever feel like making a name with me, I’ll make sure there’ll always be a place in my company for you.”

  “No thanks, just hurry up already!”

  I listened to Nakagawa’s anxiously irritating voice while placing the receiver on my shoulder as I grabbed a blank piece of paper.

  After noon the next day, I quietly climbed up the slope towards North High. As the altitude slowly rises, the white vapour coming out of my breath became more visible. As to why I was walking to school during winter vacation, it was because the SOS Brigade was holding its regular meeting today.

  Today was also the day on which we would do some spring cleaning of the club room. Asahina-san would occasionally sweep the floor, but as with the second law of thermodynamics, in which the total entropy of any isolated thermodynamic system tends to increase over time, this rule also applies to our club room. (The concept of entropy originated from the German physicist Rudolph Clausius in 1862 to define the dispersal or degradation of usable energy (often incorrectly explained as “disorder”) in a system. In a theoretical reversible process this amount would remain the same, though in any real process this amount increases (irreversible). For example, if no one had offered to help clean a lazy person’s room, the room could only get messier — it’ll never be tidied up all by its own.) All sorts of junk were gradually brought into the club room to create a kind of orderly chaos, and the culprit responsible for all this mess was none other than Haruhi, who would grab anything she fancies. Not to mention Koizumi bringing in one board game after another, Nagato bringing in more and more thick books and reading them at the speed of a flying arrow, as well as Asahina-san, every day trying to brew the perfect tea… In other words, everyone besides me was guilty. It’ll become chaotic if we continue to leave it like this, so I suggested it’s time to bring the stuff back to each of their homes, with the exception of Asahina-san’s cosplay wardrobe staying at least.

  “Man, what a pain,”

  I just couldn’t walk at a relaxed pace because of an extra piece of note paper in my jacket pocket.

  That note contained a word-by-word dictation of Nakagawa’s declaration of love for Nagato. It was so retarded that I had to restrain myself from throwing the pencil away many times when writing it down. The only people I could think of who could say such embarrassing stuff without any shame would be some professional conmen; besides that, I can’t think of anyone else. “Wait ten years for me”? Give me a break already!

  Walking into the mountain breeze, I arrived at the familiar school complex.

  Arriving at the club room complex, I was still an hour early for the meeting.

  This was not because I was afraid of the rule that whoever comes last has to treat everyone, that rule only applies for activities outdoors.

  On the phone last night, Nakagawa said before going,

  “Don’t just copy it down and then give it to her, you’ll just be a substitute author then. Who knows, maybe she wouldn’t read it. You have to recite the whole thing to her in person, using the same passionate tone that I just used…”

  That was the most ridiculous request I’ve ever heard. I have no reason, nor am I so simple, to be jerked around by that idiot. Yet after sincerely pleading with me, coupled with the fact that I’m generally a nice person, I just couldn’t find a way to refuse him. Therefore, I desperately need to find a situation where no one else was around besides Nagato. If I went an hour early, the other members wouldn’t have arrived yet, except for the familiar, ever reliable and ever present alien-created Living Humanoid Interface, Nagato Yuki.

  After formally knocking the door and hearing a silent reply, I opened the door.

  “Hi there!”

  I wonder if I sounded too unnatural? My mind urged me to rephrase that sentence,

  “Hey, Nagato. I knew you’d be in here.”

  Inside the club room, filled with the chill of winter, Nagato looked like a life-sized doll which one would not detect any warmth from, sitting quietly on her seat and reading some thick hardback book about some sort of disease.

  “…”

  The poker face looked at me without any expression. Looking as though she was going to touch her forehead, she lifted her arm, but then lowered it again.

  That movement looked as if she was about to push up her glasses, but Nagato doesn’t wear glasses now. It was I who said she looked better without glasses, and it was she who decided to leave it like that. So what was that action for? Has the habit from six months ago come back?

  “The others haven’t arrived yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  Nagato answered concisely and returned her gaze back to the page packed with so many words that there were almost no spaces between them. Was she the sort that would feel a sense of great loss if she wasn’t doing anything?

  I walked stiffly towards the window and saw the central courtyard below, which was visible from there. As today was a holiday, the school was nearly empty. Some of the more cold-resistant members of the various sports clubs can be heard chanting from afar through the window glass.

  I stood facing Nagato. It was the usual Nagato, her skin white as ever, and her face blank as ever.

  Now that I think about it, we haven’t had a four-eyed girl for quite some time. Who knows if Haruhi would grab another four-eyed girl just to do a corporate reshuffle?

  I thought of such useless stuff while taking out the well-folded notebook paper out from my pocket,

  “Nagato, there’s something I need to say to you,”

  “What is it?”

  Nagato flicked a page with her finger tips, I took a deep breath and said,

  “Some lame bozo says he fancies you, I’ve decided to help him all the way and help him declare his confession. Well? You want to hear?”

  According to my plan, the moment Nagato says “no” right there, I would proceed to tear up the paper to shreds. But Nagato just looked at me without saying anything. To me her icy-cold looking eyes suddenly looked as warm as if they had melted into water, was it because my opening line was so impressive?

  “…”

  Nagato shut her lips tight and stared at me like a surgeon examining a patient,

  “Is that so?”

  She slowly uttered those three words above, while still looking at me without blinking. As she seems to be waiting for me to continue, I had no choice but to unfold the paper and began to recite Nakagawa’s confession,

  “Oh my Great Goddess Nagato, as Your most fai
thful follower, I am distressed that I can only express my adoration of you this way. May the Goddess please forgive my insolence. In fact, from the moment I laid my eyes on Your Holiness…”

  Nagato kept looking at me while silently listening. Yet I was the one who was feeling more and more uncomfortable. As I was reading Nakagawa’s stupefying confession, the whole thing just felt more and more stupid. Just what on earth was I doing? Was I nuts!?

  Nakagawa’s story ended at the time when he has bought a huge house in the suburbs and is living an idyllic life with two kids and a white dog. As I was reading this diary of the future, I noticed Nagato was still staring silently at me. I suddenly had a feeling I was doing something extremely stupid.

  Why did I agree to do this!?

  I stopped reciting. If I were to continue reading this piece of lunacy, even I’ll go insane. It’s unlikely I’ll ever become close friends with Nakagawa, since I’d never hang out with someone who could come up with such cheesy lines. Now I knew why we barely knew each other back in junior high. After falling in love at first sight, his feeling incubated for nearly half a year before he suddenly asked me to be his messenger, and his message has to be a totally ridiculous love confession. Sigh, he was beyond help.

  “Forget it. Anyway, that’s about the gist of it. I’m sure you more or less get it?”

  Nagato simply said,

  “Understood.”

  She then nodded.

  She does?

  I looked at Nagato, and Nagato looked back at me.

  Time passes by quietly as though the words of silence grew wings and flew around us…

  “…”

  Nagato slightly tilted her neck, but apart from that she didn’t do anything else, but continued to stare at me. Um… now what? I should be talking, right?

  As I was running through my vocabulary on what to say…

  “I have received the message that you have relayed to me.”

  Her gaze never moved away,

  “But, I cannot comply with his request.”

  She said in her usual calm manner,

  “I cannot guarantee that my self-control mechanism can continue to remain stable for the next ten years.”

  After finishing, she shut her lips tight again. She never once changed her expression or moved her eyes away from me.

  “No…”

  The first to budge was me, I pretended to shake my head just so I could look away from those dark eyes of hers which looked as though they were about to suck me in,

  “You’re right. Ten years is just too long.”

  Though the confession’s problem didn’t just lie with a waiting time that was too long, I still breathed a sigh of relief. As to where this relief came from, to put it simply, I just didn’t want to see Nagato getting close with Nakagawa or some other jerk like him. I don’t deny that I still have some impression of that other Nagato in my mind when Haruhi had disappeared. Nakagawa wasn’t too bad, he can even be classified as a nice guy, but I just can’t get rid of the image of that Nagato looking distressed as she softly pulled my sleeve.

  “I’m sorry, Nagato,”

  I crumpled the piece of paper into a lump,

  “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have dictated this thing word-for-word, and I should’ve turned down Nakagawa’s request on the phone. Please forget what just happened. I’ll have a word with that idiot. Don’t worry though, I don’t think he’s the sort that would become a stalker.”

  But, if Asahina-san were to suddenly have a boyfriend, I’d probably stalk him all day…

  Huh? So that’s why, that’s how it is.

  Now I knew what this uncomfortable feeling in my heart was.

  Whether it was Asahina-san or Nagato, I just can’t stand any guy getting between them and me! It was that simple. That was why I felt so relieved, I guess I’m an easy-to-understand guy.

  What about Haruhi, you say? Ah, if it’s that girl, then I’m not worried at all. Haruhi would usually ignore any guy that dares to pursue her. Should the skies one day fall and Haruhi actually begins to go out with someone, then she wouldn’t be busy looking for aliens or time travelers. That should be a good news for the Earth, and I’m sure Koizumi would be delighted at the decrease in workload.

  After that, the turbulent and surreal part of my life would come to an end. Maybe that day would really arrive, but I was sure it wasn’t now.

  I opened the club room window. The incoming wintry breeze, which was so chilly that it could cut a wound in the finger, clashed with the warm indoor air, which was warmed by our body temperatures. I thrust my arm out and threw the lump of paper I had in my hand as far as I could.

  The lump of paper slowly floated along the wind and landed silently on the large grassy knoll adjacent to the corridor linking the main school complex and the club room complex. I guess it’ll soon be blown into a water duct by the complex building, and then decompose along with the fallen leaves and return to nature…

  But I guessed wrong!

  “Oh shit!”

  There was a person walking on that very corridor that suddenly changed direction and headed for the grassy knoll. That girl turned and glared at me as though I’ve just thrown a cigarette butt, and proceeded to pick up the lump of paper that I just threw.

  “Hey! Don’t pick that up! And don’t read it either!”

  Ignoring my futile protests, she picked up the garbage that no one asked her to, she then opened up the crumpled paper and began to read it silently.

  “…”

  Nagato continued to look silently at me.

  Let us take some time to consider the following questions:

  Q1. What was written on that piece of paper?

  A1. A confession of love for Nagato.

  Q2. Whose handwriting was on the paper?

  A2. My handwriting.

  Q3. What would a stranger think if he had read this?

  A3. He’ll probably misunderstand.

  Q4. Then, what would Haruhi be thinking if she had read it?

  A4. I don’t even want to know.

  And so, Haruhi read the piece of paper thoroughly for some minutes, and then lifted her head up and looked sharply at me, while revealing an evil smile that looked sinister, seemingly up to something.

  …As expected, today was definitely not a good day!

  Ten seconds later, she had already entered the club room in the most ferocious speed possible and was grabbing me by the collar,

  “JUST WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!? Are you an idiot!? I’m gonna have to throw you out of the window just to knock some sense into you!”

  She yelled while carrying a smile, only that her smile looked a bit stiff. If the strength that she used to drag me towards the window were converted into energy, it would be enough to supply a day’s worth of indoor heating. Not even my frantic attempt at explaining could reduce the intensity of this strength,

  “No, wait, I can explain! I was helping this old classmate of mine called Nakagawa…”

  “What!? Are you trying to shove all this to someone else!? It’s your handwriting, isn’t it?”

  Haruhi said menacingly while she dragged me back, she then stared at me with her large bell-like eyes from a distance of just ten centimeters.

  “You gotta let me go first, I can’t say anything properly if you pull me around like that,”

  As I was tugging and pulling with Haruhi, a fourth person had arrived at the wrong moment.

  “WAH!?”

  Asahina-san’s eyes were as big as a tray as she stood outside the door. She elegantly covered her mouth and said,

  “…Um… are you in the middle of something? I wonder if I should come back later…”

  While we were in the middle of something, but it was nothing serious. Besides there’s nothing fun about twisting and pulling with Haruhi, it would be a different story if it were with Asahina-san though… Anyway, please do come in. From the past to the present, I have never once denied Asahina-san the right to enter, nor
do I intend to.

  Furthermore, Nagato’s sitting here in the club room as though nothing’s happening, so there’s no reason why Asahina-san couldn’t come in. If she could help me get out of this mess, she was all the more welcome.

  As I was smiling at Asahina-san while tussling with Haruhi at the same time…

  “Oh my,”

  The last member had arrived, sticking his head from behind Asahina-san,

  “I wonder if I arrived too early?”

  The fellow revealed a cheerful smile and swept aside his hair parting,

  “Asahina-san, it would seem we have arrived at an unsuitable time. Perhaps we should return later until they settle some domestic affair. I’ll pay for your coffee at the vending machine as well.”

  Hold it, Koizumi. If you were treating our wrestling around as some typical domestic squabble between a married couple, then I suggest you go have your eyesight examined. Oh, and don’t try to use this as an opportunity to abduct Asahina-san. Asahina-san, this is really nothing, so there’s no need for you to worry and nod your head and agree with him.

  Currently Haruhi was clutching my shirt tightly with all the strength she could muster, while I grabbed on Haruhi’s wrists. At this rate I’m going to suffer from ligament pains, I quickly decided to call for reinforcements,

  “Hey! Koizumi! Where do you think you’re going? Come and help me!”

  “Hmm, now whose side should I stand on?”

  Koizumi decided to play dumb, while Asahina-san stood stiffly and blinking non-stop like a terrified little rabbit. She didn’t even notice Koizumi casually placing his hand on her shoulder as he attempted to play the knight in shining armour saving the damsel in distress.

  What was Nagato doing then? I took a glance and noticed Nagato was doing what I thought she would do, she hardly looked concerned and continued to read her book. Oh come on, it was all because of you that I’m now in such big trouble, why can’t you at least say something?