The Land of Stories

by Chris Colfer

  “Or maybe she sat on it too long,” a pig said with laughter.

  Finally, the Ugly Duckling couldn’t bear the mistreatment any longer, and he left the farm. He found a pond a little ways down the road and met a family of geese living there.

  “Would you mind having another bird around?” the Ugly Duckling asked.

  “As long as you can fend for yourself,” said the gander in charge. “No one is going to chew your food for you here.”

  The Ugly Duckling had gotten enough practice fending for himself on the farm, so he didn’t think it would be a problem. The geese weren’t affectionate toward him, but they never harassed him either, so the Ugly Duckling was quite content living with them.

  However, living outside the safety of the farm had dangers that the Ugly Duckling had never expected.

  Hunters came to the lake and frightened the geese into the air. The geese tried to fly away, but they were shot down. Since his wings hadn’t grown in yet, the Ugly Duckling stayed on the ground and hid in the grass until the hunters left.

  The Ugly Duckling was forced to venture out into the world and find a new home. He passed a pleasant little cottage in the woods that belonged to an old woman. She was sitting in a rocking chair on her porch when he waddled by, and she invited him in.

  “Poor little birdie, you must be lost,” she said. “Please come inside and let me take care of you.”

  The old woman fed him lots of seeds and turned a wooden box into a nice bed for him. She was a kind person, but the Ugly Duckling wasn’t her only pet. The old woman also had a fluffy house cat with a big appetite.

  Every day, the cat would stare at the Ugly Duckling and lick the corners of its mouth. Its claws would go in and out as it watched him waddle around the house. It made the Ugly Duckling nervous, and he worried the cat would attack him if he stayed too long. Finally, he couldn’t take the anxiety anymore and left the cottage to find a new place to live.

  The Ugly Duckling came across a flock of swans resting in a stream. He thought they were the most majestic creatures he had ever seen and was envious of their white feathers and long, slender necks. He quickly waddled toward the swans to ask if he could live with them, but they stretched their long wings and flew away before he got a chance.

  The swans flew south because, like all the birds except the Ugly Duckling, they knew winter was around the corner. Soon the land was covered in snow and blasted by freezing winds. All the ponds and the lakes froze over, and the Ugly Duckling had nowhere to go.

  A farmer found him shivering in the cold and took pity on the poor bird. He wrapped him up in a cloth and took him home.

  “Poor little fellow, let’s take you someplace warm,” he said.

  The farmer’s house was lovely and a warm escape from the cold. He and his wife were kind to the Ugly Duckling, and they had no other pets he needed to worry about. However, they had two very rambunctious children, who became his biggest concern.

  The children treated the Ugly Duckling like a toy. They threw him around, pulled his feathers, and dressed him up in clothes meant for a doll. The abuse became so bad that the Ugly Duckling thought he was better off living in the cold, so he left the farmer’s house.

  The Ugly Duckling traveled to a frozen lake and spent the rest of the winter alone in a small cave beside it. It was a disheartening time for him. After all his travels, he still didn’t have a home or a family. He had turned into “a lone duck,” and in the bird world, it didn’t get any worse.

  Eventually, spring came and melted the ice covering the lake. The Ugly Duckling had grown so much inside the cave that he could barely crawl out of it. He floated around the lake and stretched his wings, when suddenly he heard a voice call to him.

  “Oh, hello there!” it said. “You must be looking for us!”

  The Ugly Duckling turned toward the voice and saw that the flock of swans had returned for spring.

  “Come join us over here,” a swan said.

  “You want me to join you?” the Ugly Duckling asked.

  “Of course we do,” the swan said. “After all, you’re one of us.”

  The Ugly Duckling looked into the water and was shocked to see the reflection staring back at him. He had feathers as white as snow and a long, curvy neck—he had grown into a beautiful swan!

  “I’ve been so ugly my whole life,” he said. “How is this possible?”

  “We all have an awkward phase when we’re young,” the swan said. “But without it, we’d never grow our wings.”

  The swan formerly known as the Ugly Duckling lived with the other swans for the rest of his life. At the end of every year, when his family flew south for the winter, he made a point to fly over his old farm so all the animals could see him. The Ugly Duckling they had mistreated was soaring at heights they could never reach.

  The End

  PINOCCHIO

  ADAPTED FROM CARLO COLLODI

  Once upon a time, there lived a kind man named Geppetto. He was a very talented woodcarver and spent his whole life making wonderful wooden creations. Unfortunately, he never had time to start a family. With no wife or children to call his own, the poor man became very lonely and sad. To fill the emptiness in his heart, he built a marionette the size of a child and treated it like a son.

  “I’ll call him Pinocchio,” Geppetto said.

  The wooden boy gave Geppetto more joy than anything else in the world. In the morning he’d sit the marionette at the table and talk to him as he ate his breakfast. In the afternoon, he’d take Pinocchio on his errands throughout town. At night, Geppetto tucked him into a bed of his own and read him stories. He put so much love and care into the marionette that one day, it magically came to life!

  Geppetto watched in amazement as the wooden boy stood up by himself and smiled at him. He thought he was imagining it until the marionette spoke.

  “Hello,” Pinocchio said. “Who are you?”

  “I’m your father,” Geppetto said.

  “And who am I?” he asked.

  “You’re my son, Pinocchio!” Geppetto said. “And a miracle you are!”

  Like all parents, now that his child walked and talked, Geppetto found raising him much more difficult. One afternoon Pinocchio spent too long playing outside and came home covered in termites. Geppetto carefully removed the bugs from his son’s body one by one and sanded over the bite marks. On another day, Pinocchio took a nap on the stove and awoke to find that his feet had been burned off. Geppetto carved him a new pair of shoes and warned him about the dangers of fire.

  Having a hollow head, Pinocchio had a lot to learn. He asked his father hundreds of questions every day and loved learning about the world they lived in. There was only one question Geppetto didn’t have an answer to.

  “Papa, am I a real boy?” Pinocchio asked.

  “Well, not exactly,” Geppetto said.

  “Will I ever be a real boy?” the marionette asked.

  Geppetto was stumped because Pinocchio was the only living marionette. He had never heard of something nonhuman becoming human before; the chances looked slim. However, Geppetto didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

  “Maybe one day,” he said. “Perhaps if you go to school and get a good education, you’ll become a real boy. Here, take this money and buy schoolbooks. You can start school tomorrow.”

  Pinocchio happily collected five coins from his father and went into town to purchase his schoolbooks. However, along the way the money in his hands caught the attention of a wicked cat and fox. The animals were crooks and thought Pinocchio would be an easy target.

  “Good afternoon, my boy,” said the fox. “May I ask where you’re going with those coins?”

  “I’m off to the store to buy schoolbooks,” Pinocchio said. “I’m going to school to get an education so I can become a real boy!”

  “Schoolbooks?” the cat hissed. “Any real boy knows school isn’t a good investment these days. If I were you, I’d take it to the field of Miracles! If you plant your
coins in the ground, a money tree will grow with hundreds of coins.”

  “Oh my,” Pinocchio said. “Geppetto would be so proud of me if I returned home with hundreds of coins! How do I get to the field of Miracles?”

  “Just take this path into the woods and stop at the field,” the fox said. “You’ll recognize it from all the money trees growing there.”

  The wooden boy giddily changed directions and headed to the field of Miracles the cat and fox spoke of. Little did he know, the animals were following in the trees beside the path. Pinocchio walked and walked but never found a field. Eventually, the sun set and the forest became so dark he could barely see the path in front of him.

  “Surely I would have found the field of Miracles by now,” he said.

  Suddenly, the cat and fox jumped out from the trees and stole the coins from Pinocchio. Pinocchio had walked right into a trap.

  “Now let’s hang him from a tree,” the fox said. “By the time someone finds him, he’ll be dead and we’ll be far away.”

  They tied a rope around Pinocchio’s waist and hoisted him high into the tree branches. The cat and fox counted the coins and howled with laughter at their successful scheme. They left the wooden boy all alone in the woods.

  “Help!” Pinocchio shouted. “Someone please help me!”

  Yelling for help seemed to be of no use. He was so far into the woods, he didn’t think anyone would hear him. Luckily for Pinocchio, a beautiful fairy living nearby in the woods heard his cries and came to his aid. A dozen bluebirds carried her above the trees and set her down gently at the base of the tree Pinocchio hung from.

  “Poor little marionette,” the fairy said. “How did you get up there?”

  Pinocchio was too embarrassed to tell the fairy what had happened, so he made up a story instead.

  “I climbed the tree to save a baby bird from falling out of its nest,” he said. “But I slipped and got tangled up in this rope.”

  To his surprise, Pinocchio’s nose grew twice in size. It was an odd thing to watch but an even odder thing to experience.

  “Are you telling me a lie?” the fairy asked and put her hands on her hips.

  “No, that’s the honest truth!” Pinocchio said.

  Once again, his nose grew—this time a whole foot longer than it was before.

  “What’s happening to me?” Pinocchio asked.

  “You’ve been blessed with an honest heart, which means your nose grows every time you lie,” the fairy said. “I’ll give you one last chance to tell me the truth. Otherwise I’ll return home and leave you here.”

  Pinocchio told the fairy how Geppetto had given him five gold coins to buy schoolbooks, but he had been tricked into the woods by a cat and fox who told him about a field of Miracles. Then he told her how the animals had hung him up in the tree and left him there.

  “I’ll help you down, but only if you promise to tell your father the truth when you get home,” the fairy said. “And you must go to school tomorrow like he wished.”

  “I promise!” Pinocchio said.

  The fairy knew he was telling the truth because his nose stayed the same size. She waved her wand, and a flock of woodpeckers flew in from all corners of the forest. They chiseled Pinocchio’s nose back to normal and pecked at the rope until it broke and Pinocchio fell to the ground.

  “Thank you so much,” Pinocchio said to the fairy.

  The wooden boy ran down the path toward town and didn’t stop until he was home. Once he was back in Geppetto’s workshop, he burst into tears and told his father everything that had happened to him.

  “There, there, Pinocchio,” Geppetto said. “Part of being a real boy is making mistakes. I’ll give you five more coins, and you can buy schoolbooks tomorrow.”

  The next day the woodcarver placed five gold coins in the wooden boy’s hands and sent him on his way. Along the way, a large coach pulled up on the side of the road and blocked him from going any farther. The coach was filled with dozens of rowdy little boys Pinocchio’s size.

  “Care to join?” the coachman asked.

  “Where are you going?” Pinocchio asked.

  “Catchfools Island,” the coachman replied. “Every little boy’s paradise! I’m only charging five coins a head for transportation.”

  “I’m sorry, mister,” Pinocchio said. “But I’m on my way to the store to buy schoolbooks so I can become a real boy.”

  “But you can’t become a real boy unless you know how to have fun like a real boy,” the coachman said.

  Pinocchio didn’t need to hear any more. He handed the coachman his gold coins and joined the other boys in the back. They were a loud and rambunctious group. They wrestled, pushed each other around, and pulled one another’s hair as the coach traveled away from town.

  It took all day for the coach to reach the shore, and then it boarded a large boat. The boat sailed across the ocean for two days and arrived at Catchfools Island. The island was nothing like Pinocchio had expected. Little boys ran amok everywhere he looked, smashing things with clubs and hammers. They kicked puppies, tied cats’ tails together, and caught butterflies only to rip their wings off.

  “If this is real fun, I don’t want any part of it,” Pinocchio said.

  “Hey, look at him!” said a boy who pointed at Pinocchio. “He’s made of wood! Let’s tear him apart and make a campfire out of him!”

  The unruly boys chased Pinocchio all over the island. Thanks to his wooden legs, he was able to outrun them and hide from them on the beach.

  “I should have obeyed my father and the fairy,” Pinocchio said to himself. “If I had just gone to the store instead of boarding the coach I wouldn’t be in this mess. Now I’ll never be a real boy!”

  Thankfully, the fairy he had met in the woods had worried that the marionette would get into more trouble, so she had kept an eye on him. A dozen seagulls carried her across the ocean and set her down next to Pinocchio on the beach.

  “In a jam again, I see,” she said.

  “Oh, fairy, please help me off this island,” Pinocchio said.

  “How did you end up in a place like this?” she asked.

  Once again, Pinocchio was too ashamed to tell the fairy the truth, so he made up another story.

  “I was kidnapped by thieves and brought here!” he said.

  Just as before, Pinocchio’s nose grew twice in size.

  “Now, now, lying doesn’t get you anywhere,” the fairy said and shook her finger at him. “I’m happy to help you one last time, but only if you tell me the truth.”

  Pinocchio told the fairy how he had crossed paths with the coach taking the boys to Catchfools Island on his way to the store. He told her he had thought if he had the real fun the coachman described, it would bring him closer to becoming a real boy.

  “Being a real boy isn’t always about having fun; sometimes it’s about making good choices,” the fairy said. “If you promise to go to school like your father wants, I’ll take you home.”

  “I promise!” Pinocchio said.

  The fairy knew he was telling the truth because his nose didn’t grow anymore. She waved her wand, and a swarm of beetles crawled up from the sand and chewed his nose down to its normal size. They took him by the arms and flew him across the ocean and dropped him off at the door of Geppetto’s workshop.

  Pinocchio ran through the door, but Geppetto was nowhere to be found. He looked through the town but still couldn’t find his father anywhere. Finally, he went to the house of the old woman who lived next door and asked her if she had seen Geppetto.

  “Oh, you poor dear, you haven’t heard the news?” the woman asked.

  The wooden boy shook his hollow head.

  “Geppetto heard you went to Catchfools Island, so he borrowed a boat and went looking for you at sea,” the neighbor said. “But his boat was swallowed whole by a terrible whale.”

  “Oh no!” Pinocchio said. “I must find and rescue him, just like the fairy rescued me!”

  He didn�
��t want to break the promise he had made to the fairy, but he would have done anything to save his father. Pinocchio returned to the shore and dived into the water. He floated well above the waves, which helped him swim. Pinocchio swam and swam, but he didn’t find the whale anywhere—it found him.

  The whale swallowed Pinocchio in one bite, and he slid down its throat and into its stomach. It was very dark and cold inside the whale. Pinocchio couldn’t see anything, and he doubted his father had survived. Then, just as he lost all hope, something tapped his shoulder and he heard a familiar voice.

  “Pinocchio, what are you doing here?” said Geppetto.

  “Papa, you’re alive!” Pinocchio said and threw his arms around him.

  “It’s good to see you, my son, but you shouldn’t have come here!” Geppetto said. “Now we’ll both become a meal for the whale.”

  The whale suddenly started to cough. Pinocchio had filled his throat with splinters and it irritated the whale greatly. In one strong heave, the whale coughed up the woodcarver and the marionette and spit them back into the ocean. Had Pinocchio not been there, Geppetto would have drowned, but the woodcarver used his son as a raft and swam back to shore.

  By the time they got back to the workshop, they were both exhausted and soaking wet, and they smelled terribly of fish. To their surprise, the fairy was waiting for them inside.

  “I’m so sorry I broke your promise!” Pinocchio told the fairy. “I wanted to go to school and become a real boy, but being a real boy was pointless if I didn’t have a real father to come home to.”

  Geppetto and the fairy were very touched by his son’s words.

  “That’s exactly why I’ve come, Pinocchio,” the fairy said. “You may have a hollow head, but you have a heart of gold. Like I said, part of being a real boy is making good choices, and choosing to save your father was a very brave one. It would be my honor to turn you into a real boy.”

  The fairy waved her wand, and Pinocchio’s wooden body turned into flesh. He was a real boy!