The Land of Stories
Page 15
Pinocchio jumped up and down with joy. Geppetto swung his son through the air and held him in his arms. Both the marionette’s and the woodcarver’s dreams had come true, and they lived as happily ever after as two real boys could.
The End
MOTHER GOOSE’S NURSERY RHYMES
LITTLE BO PEEP
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep,
And doesn’t know where to find them;
Leave them alone, and they’ll come home,
Wagging their tails behind them.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
LITTLE JACK HORNER
Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said, “What a good boy am I!”
THE OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread,
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.
RUB-A-DUB-DUB
Hey! rub-a-dub, ho! rub-a-dub, three men in a tub,
And who do you think were there?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker,
And all of them gone to the fair.
THREE BLIND MICE
Three blind mice. Three blind mice.
See how they run. See how they run.
They all ran after the farmer’s wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a sight in your life
As three blind mice?
BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, sir, yes, sir,
Three bags full;
One for the master,
And one for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.
GEORGIE PORGIE
Georgie Porgie, puddin’ and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry;
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.
HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE
Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
PAT-A-CAKE
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake,
Baker’s man!
Bake me a cake,
As fast as you can.
Roll it, and pat it,
And mark it with a B,
Put it in the oven
For baby and me.
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water;
Jack fell down, and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.
When up Jack got and off did trot,
As fast as he could caper,
To old Dame Dob, who patched his nob
With vinegar and brown paper.
JACK BE NIMBLE
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candle-stick.
MOTHER GOOSE’S FAIRY-TALE SURVIVAL GUIDE
BY MOTHER GOOSE
Have you noticed anything funny about your Treasury? Have the pages started glowing at random times and become brighter every day? Is this glowing followed by a strange but inviting humming noise? Did you lean too far into the book and wind up falling into a different dimension? Then you’re in luck, because this survival guide is for you!
When you purchased this book from the store, or checked it out from the library, or “borrowed” it from a friend, you probably weren’t expecting it to transport you into a world where fairy tales are real. Life is full of surprises; sometimes it rains when it’s supposed to be sunny, and sometimes children’s books turn out to be portals into different dimensions. Relax; these things happen.
So if you find yourself in a fairy tale, there’s no reason to panic. The fairy-tale world can be a very dangerous place, but if you follow my instructions carefully, you’ll be back in your own world before you can say “and they all lived happily ever after.” (Trust me, if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s surviving. You’re in good hands.)
RULE #1: DON’T PANIC. LET IT OUT.
Everyone’s first trip is always a little jarring. Don’t let your shock, terror, and confusion build up inside of you; that will only lead to panicking. Treat yourself to a good scream, a nice cry, or a release of bodily fluids. However, make it short. You don’t want to attract any unwanted attention from the shifty creatures in the forest.
RULE #2: DON’T BLAME YOURSELF.
Remember, none of this is your fault. It doesn’t matter how careful or responsible you are—CDT happens to the best of us. (Oh, that stands for Cross-Dimensional Travel—I coined it myself.) Yes, you could have called the police when the book first started glowing. No, you didn’t have to lean so far into the book that you lost your balance and fell inside it. But hey, no one ever got anywhere by playing it safe; just ask the Wright brothers.
RULE #3: ASSESS WHAT KIND OF FAIRY TALE YOU’RE IN.
Take a look around: What do you see? Are you in a colorful garden with pixies and unicorns? Do you see handsome knights riding off into the sunset with beautiful maidens? Great! You’re in a harmless bedtime story. Feel free to look around and take a few pictures.
Are you surrounded by a thick and creepy forest? Are you standing in a large, smoky cave? THEN RUN—you’re in a cautionary tale! Something is about to make a meal or an example out of you! Don’t stop until your surroundings match the description above.
RULE #4: IF IT’S GOT CLAWS, IT DON’T FOLLOW LAWS.
The food chain applies to every animal, even if it talks. Just because something can communicate, that doesn’t make you any less delicious. Never tell a wolf where you’re headed, don’t trespass into the home of bears, and don’t take directions from a fox! You’d think this would be common sense, but after you read the Treasury (especially the rhymes about the idiots I know), you’ll realize common sense isn’t common in the fairy-tale world.
RULE #5: NEVER TRUST OLD PEOPLE.
The fairy-tale world is full of seniors looking for a way to get even with youngsters (present company excluded, of course). Never make a trade with an old geezer; you’ll only end up with a giant beanstalk growing in your backyard. Never accept a gift from an old hag; you’ll get stuck raising a daughter the size of a shot glass.
However, you must never deny them anything! If an old woman knocks on your door in the middle of the night looking for shelter, give her a room with a view! If an old beggar man stops you on the road and asks you for food, cook him a gourmet meal! Whatever you do, DO NOT tick off the elderly, or you may end up cursed as a beast or living as a frog!
RULE #6: AVOID STRANGELY BUILT STRUCTURES.
I don’t care how interesting it looks from afar—if you see something oddly placed or constructed, don’t approach it! It will only lead to trouble.
For example, if you find a tower standing alone in the woods, get out of there—it belongs to a witch! Suppose you come across a bridge over a small stream—better to get your shoes wet than become lunch to the hungry troll living underneath it!
RULE #7: IF SOMETHING SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT IS!
In the fairy-tale
world, coincidences usually come with consequences. If you find yourself in an unfortunate situation and miraculously stumble upon a solution that perfectly suits all your needs, you’re most likely being tricked into an even worse situation!
For example, if you’re lost in a vicious storm and the only shelter in sight is a magnificent castle with large, spacious rooms, chances are there’s a beast waiting for you inside. If you’re starving and wandering aimlessly through the forest, that gingerbread house down the path was probably built to lure poor saps like you. Remember, in the fairy-tale world, traps come in all shapes, sizes, and flavors.
RULE #8: DON’T BE A JERK.
Here’s a good tip! As difficult as it may seem, try to keep a positive attitude during your visit. The fairy-tale world tends to reward the generous and punish the selfish. Be kind and treat everything with respect, and you’ll be amazed at what a difference it makes. Also, lots of fairies and witches like to dress up in disguises, so be careful about whom you upset.
RULE #9: WHEN IN DOUBT, FIND A FAIRY.
If you’re not looking to stay and see the sights, the fastest way to get back home is to find a fairy. Tell it about your treasury, how it glowed, hummed, and transported you into the fairy-tale world, and the fairy should be able to help you out. Most fairies are familiar with CDT and can get you back home.
However, don’t tell them I sent you. I’m not very popular among fairies these days. In fact, it’s better not to mention my name at all. Otherwise, when they send you home, you might end up on a desert island in the Bermuda Triangle—it’s a long story!
Well, I hope this guide has been helpful! A lot of people thought it was silly to write it, but if this book were in my hands, I’d want to be prepared. If you do find yourself in the fairy-tale world, don’t forget to stop by and say hello. I’ll be at a pub in the Charming Kingdom called The Stepmother with an overgrown gander named Lester. Just follow the feathers…
Cheers!
Mother Goose
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ABOUT THE AUTHORS
THE BROTHERS GRIMM
Jacob (1785–1863) and Wilhelm Grimm (1786–1859) were born in Germany in the late eighteenth century. In the early nineteenth century, while attending school at the University of Marburg, they developed a passion for folktales and folktale studies. In 1812, they published their first collection of folktales, Children’s and Household Tales, which was reprinted and revised many times up until 1857. By the time of their deaths, the Brothers Grimm had published more than two hundred fairy tales based on German and Scandinavian mythologies. Their stories have since been translated into more than one hundred languages. To this day, the Brothers Grimm are considered the fathers of fairy tales.
HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN (1805–1875)
Hans Christian Andersen was a Danish novelist, playwright, and poet. He began writing fairy tales in the early eighteenth century and published the first two volumes of his collection in 1835 and continued until 1872. At first, Andersen’s stories were not well received, but by the time of his death he was best known for his fairy tales. To date, his stories have been translated into more than 125 languages, and Andersen has been made a Danish National Treasure.
CHARLES PERRAULT (1628–1703)
Charles Perrault was a French author during the seventeenth century. Although he had many professions in the French government and published many written works, the first about fairy tales was published in 1697 and was titled Tales and Stories of the Past with Morals: Tales of Mother Goose. His fairy tales were very popular in French society and are still known today as he wrote them. Many credit him as the founder of the fairy-tale genre.
JEANNE-MARIE LEPRINCE DE BEAUMONT (1711–1780)
Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont was a French teacher and novelist during the eighteenth century. Sometime after 1746, while working in England as a governess, she wrote the book Beauty and the Beast and Other Classic French Fairy Tales. The publication was such a success that she was able to quit teaching and focus on her writing career. She is one of the only women credited as a fairy-tale founding author and was one of the first authors to write fairy tales designed for children.
CARLO COLLODI (1826–1890)
Carlo Collodi was born in Florence, Italy. Among his many writing credentials, he was a playwright and wrote articles and satirical stories for newspapers. His introduction into fairy tales came in 1875 when he published I racconti delle fate, an Italian translation of Charles Perrault’s work. In 1880 he wrote the work he is most remembered for today, Le avventure di Pinocchio (The Adventures of Pinocchio).
ASBJØRNSEN & MOE
Peter Christen Asbjørnsen (1812–1885) and Jørgen Engebretsen Moe (1813–1882) were Norwegian writers in the nineteenth century. After being friends for over a decade, they published their first collection of Norwegian folktales in 1841. They were inspired greatly by the Brothers Grimm and published more than one hundred fairy tales over the course of their careers.
CHRIS COLFER is an American author born in the twentieth century. He was given his first fairy-tale treasury in 1994 and hasn’t put it down since. Thanks to an overly active imagination and an early introduction to caffeine, he had lots of questions regarding fairy-tale characters. These questions later influenced him to write the Land of Stories series. He’s honored to share the stories of the Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen, Charles Perrault, Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont, Carlo Collodi, and Asbjørnsen & Moe with new readers around the world.
BRANDON DORMAN lives near Wylie, Texas, with his wife and four little ones. As an illustrator, he has created magical pictures for hundreds of book covers and somewhere around twenty-one and a half picture books, two of which he has authored himself, Pirates of the Sea! and Santa’s Stowaway. You can visit Brandon at brandondorman.com.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A big thank-you to Rob Weisbach, Alvina Ling, Alla Plotkin, Melanie Chang, Derek Kroeger, Heather Manzutto, Rachel Karten, Bethany Strout, Nikki Garcia, Sasha Illingworth, Megan Tingley, and Andrew Smith. Special thanks to Will, Ashley, Pam, Hannah, my dad, my grandma, my other friends and family, and to the incredible Brandon Dorman.
CONTENTS
COVER
TITLE PAGE
WELCOME
DEDICATION
INTRODUCTION
CLASSIC FAIRY TALES Cinderella
Hansel and Gretel
Goldilocks and the Three Bears
Jack and the Beanstalk
Little Red Riding Hood
Snow White
The Three Little Pigs
Rumpelstiltskin
The Elves and the Shoemaker
Beauty and the Beast
The Boy Who Cried Wolf
Sleeping Beauty
The Princess and the Pea
Rapunzel
Henny Penny
The Little Mermaid
Three Billy Goats Gruff
The Snow Queen
The Frog Prince
Puss in Boots
Thumbelina
The Gingerbread Man
The Ugly Duckling
Pinocchio
MOTHER GOOSE’S NURSERY RHYMES Little Bo Peep
Little Miss Muffet
Little Jack Horner
The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe
Humpty Dumpty
Rub-a-Dub-Dub
Three Blind Mice
Baa, Baa, Black Sheep
Georgie Porgie
Hey Diddle Diddle
Pat-a-Cake
Jack and Jill
Jack Be Nimble
MOTHER GOOSE’S FAIRY-TALE SURVIVAL GUIDE
> ABOUT THE AUTHORS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
COPYRIGHT
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2016 by Christopher Colfer
Cover and interior art copyright © 2016 by Brandon Dorman
Interior design by Sasha Illingworth
Cover © 2016 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.