Defiled

by A. M. Rivera

  Niko breaks off the kiss and with one of his very rare smiles as he starts removing my sweater, and says “I like taking off all of these layers of clothes you wear. I feel like I am opening a present. Next, he unzips my dress but doesn’t remove it yet. Dropping to his knees in front of me, he removes my heels one at a time placing a kiss on each foot as he does so. His hands wander up my legs followed by kisses. I put my hand on his bent head and seeing him like this causes my stupid foolish heart to flip over. I run my fingers thru his short hair and he wraps his arms around me as if he adores me. As he raises up he pulls my dress off and I am in a slip a bra and panties.

  Walking me to the bed he says “I have a surprise to show you.” And he goes into the magic drawer and pulls out a remote. After a click or two a panel is opened on the opposite wall displaying a flat screen TV, Blu-ray player, a camera and other equipment.

  That just killed the mood! “You are recording us?” I say in such a panic it is almost a screech. He shakes his head “No. God No.” Relief washes over me.

  “Well not yet anyway. Though that may be something we try in the future for fun.” He says. Joking I hope. “After you ended up in my office the other night looking for a television, I just wanted to show you we have TV in our room.” And he turns on a movie playing softly. He reaches out for my hand and leads me to sit on the bed and prop up against the headboard to watch the movie.

  My mind is running over and over his words. “Our room” and “in the future.” This is our last night. I go home tomorrow. I just can’t ignore those things he said. Is he keeping me? Do we have a future? My mind won’t stop analyzing his words.

  He is propped next to me and engrossed in watching TV. Unaffected by our kissing moments ago when I was halfway to an orgasm. Bipolar. Hot and Cold.

  I try to pay attention to the movie and zone out, when his hands seek me out again to start caressing and then he begins kissing again.

  Grabbing the remote, he turns off the TV and closes the unit. When he stretches over me to return the remote to the drawer, he takes a few condoms out and tosses them onto the pillow.

  “We have had way too much unprotected sex in the last few days. I never ever do that! Ever. I can’t remember when if I ever had sex without a condom but something happens to me with you. It is innate. I want my seed in you. I want to haul you off to my cave and give you my babies. This is a first for me.” He explains. “I just hope my being careless doesn’t have any consequences in the future. Can you imagine the honorable Judge Whitman being Dedooshka to my son?” He says.

  I can only smile faintly at that.

  He lowers his face to mine, but before he actually begins kissing me, we lock gazes for a minute or maybe longer. I am feeling all of his words. I am picturing myself being the mother of his beautiful son. I want the picture he painted. I want it. Even if it means ruining my perfect life I want him to ruin me.

  “Moya Lyobov.” He groans into my mouth as he is giving me orgasmic kisses and taking everything I have to give. His hands are caressing my breasts. There is none of the fury or roughness as there were in other times, but this way is no less intense. Once again, he makes me feel cherished, he makes me feel loved. When he lowers his mouth to the very heart of me, it is gentle and tender, not frenzied and all consuming. My orgasm is so intense it brings tears with it and I am overwhelmed.

  Rising, up and kissing his way back to my mouth, he kisses my tears before putting on the condom and placing himself at my entrance.

  “I own this.” He says and I see he is caught up in the emotion just like I am.

  “You own me Nikolai.” I say as he enters me with a growl.

  His strokes are long and slow. We are not animals this time. We are lovers. Because I know he likes it, I say his name over and over thru my second orgasm and my third. After he comes, we stay connected longer than we ever have before and I begin to worry about the condom when he finally leaves my body and goes into the bathroom.

  Returning, he says “your turn” and heads out of the room. I go to the bathroom and take care of My needs including washing my face make up free and brushing my teeth,

  When I reenter the bedroom Nikolai is propped up in bed again and drinking a bottle of water instead of his usual liquor. He motions to a bottle he has bought for me also, so I return to my side of the bed and open the bottle to drink. “You are only drinking water tonight?” I ask. He is turned facing me and giving me little kisses. Before I know it, I am completely laying down again. “I want to be completely sober tonight. I want to be present and feel every bit of you. Every sight, every sound, every scent, every touch. Your skin feels amazing kotyonok. I love your smell. I would never tire of you. Of this.” He says as he is absently caressing and kissing me. As if he is saying it out loud to himself.

  “Nikolai, why can’t we…” I begin. And he cuts me off before I can finish.

  “This is it Lauren. This last night together. This is all we have. All we can ever have. This is all we can ever be. It’s just sex.” He says firmly. “You’ll feel differently once you are away from here, once you are back in your own world.”

  I nod my agreement because if I speak I will end up crying.

  Nikolai begins making love to me in every way possible for the rest of the night. Always gentle And patiently making me come over and over again. Never losing his control or being rough. Only one time during the night did he hold me by my throat and I loved it. I came harder than any other time. In between lovemaking, there are short capnaps and pillow talk. Each time I thought we were done for the night, it would build into full blown sex again. I even initiated it a couple of times, once by taking him in my mouth while he was dozing off. Nikolai has amazing stamina. I know no one else could ever compare. I think daylight is just beginning when I finally fall asleep to Nikolai holding me in his arms and kissing my face and my hair speaking soft beautiful words of love to me. I want to learn the Russian language. So beautiful…

  Twenty

  When I awake, I am not surprised I find myself alone in bed, but I am surprised that judging the light thru the window it is very late morning if not noon.

  I shower and dress and head downstairs. No one is around until I find Yelena in the kitchen, busy, as always. She stops and pours coffee for me and speaking in Russian and pantomime, she begins offering breakfast. I wave her off showing her the apple I grabbed from the bowl of fruit and she accepts that. I drink most of the cup of coffee, but take my apple with me in search of Niko.

  I enter without a knock and find him in a full suit looking smart and gorgeous sitting behind his desk with Vlad in one of the chairs facing him. The TV is on with some kind of stock market business show playing.

  They both look up at me and I apologize. “I am sorry. I should have knocked.”

  Smiling his dazzling white smile that changes his entire face Nikolai says “Good Morning. You’re not interrupting anything.” I beam. Until he finishes with “I am sure you are anxious to go home. Your father did very well this morning and my associate is in the air already. Vlad here will drive you home now if you have your things ready.” I feel like I have been gut punched. I try hard to put on my mask and hide it, but I can’t. “Nikolai, can I have a word with you in private please.” I ask and hear the pathetic tremble in my voice. He nods to Vlad who jumps up and leaves the room, avoiding my eyes as he walks past me and closes the door behind him. “Nikolai…” I begin and he cuts me off.

  “Don’t do this Lauren. Just go home. You are safe now. Go home.” He orders.

  “I don’t want to go... last night….” I begin again only to be cut off again.

  “What do you think Lauren? How do you see this as being something? Do you think we will have Sunday dinners with the good judge? Maybe backyard barbeques? Do you see yourself as a gangster’s girlfriend? Or no maybe you want to be a mob wife? That work for you? This is nothing Lauren. I’ve told you. We are nothing. Last night was sex. Last night was me using you. Using your body. Nothi
ng more. So go.”

  And I do. Promising myself I won’t break down or let a single tear fall until I am away from here and no one can see my devastation. I can’t waste my breath begging him to keep me because I know he won’t. I go upstairs to pack my things and I am back at the foyer ready to leave within minutes. Vlad is waiting for me there and takes my bag. With a last look towards the open office door, I am stupidly hoping Nicolai will stop me or at least come to say goodbye, but he doesn’t so I walk out the door and into the car. Out of Nikolai’s life forever.

  End of Part One.

  Read the conclusion to Nikolai and Lauren’s story coming later in 2014.

  Authors Note

  Thank you for reading Nikolai and Laurens story. I hope you enjoyed this simple story of a very complicated love. Please follow up and read the conclusion coming soon. If you enjoyed this story, leave a review and be sure to friend me on Facebook. Your input means a lot to me.

  Thanks again!