Good Vibration

by S M Mala

  ‘Did you hear about what his wife did in front of his eyes!’ hissed Toby. ‘He filmed it!

  ‘You didn’t?’ Sylvie said, feeling shocked on hearing the information. ‘Can I see?’

  ‘No!’ Finlay snapped back as she wanted to laugh at his peeved off expression. ‘It’s to use against her.’

  ‘You better download it,’ said Toby, turning to see Daisy walking back. ‘And there she is, the most beautiful girl in the world, second to your mother.’

  ‘Sweet,’ mumbled Finlay and flashed Sylvie a little grin.

  ‘Mummy is the most beautiful,’ Daisy grinned then Sylvie realised she was turning her attention to Finlay who suddenly sat up in anticipation. ‘Are you very important?’

  ‘Not really,’ he shrugged and pulled a face. ‘I do a job, nothing special.’

  ‘Toby says you run a big company and make important decisions,’ she persisted. ‘And you travel the world. So why are you in London?’

  ‘I’ve been told to look at the company they work at.’

  ‘You know Daisy, where your mummy and I work that specialises in ladies underwear,’ added Toby as she turned to see Finlay pull a face.

  ‘I’m too young to wear a bra,’ giggled Daisy, putting her hand over her mouth. ‘Do you like ladies underwear?’

  ‘I certainly do,’ Finlay sighed as Toby had a fixed smile.

  Sylvie knew if Daisy had asked Toby he would have just gone red.

  ‘I suppose, Finlay, your businesses in the other parts of the world are more exciting,’ the little girl continued.

  Finlay smiled at her for a moment then slumped a little in his chair.

  ‘It’s exciting sometimes but you know what I like the best? Coming home to London,’ he sighed. ‘Seeing my friends and family.’

  ‘But you have a beautiful French wife,’ Daisy persisted and Sylvie was starting to freeze wondering what the child would say next. ‘Toby said you had a very big wedding in France. I’d love to go to a big wedding one day and to France. The girls in school, who used to be nice to me, their parents take them there.’ Her little face looked sad for a moment. ‘They say it’s really nice.’

  ‘Why aren’t they nice to you now?’ he asked, sitting forward and Sylvie noticed he touched her daughter’s hair. ‘Did you quarrel?’

  ‘They don’t think we’re good enough since we moved home and I don’t get invited out with them.’ Daisy gulped for a second. ‘And like mummy said, their WMC’s which she calls WC’s because they’re full of-.’

  ‘No!’ Sylvie said, holding her hand out to stop her child from saying it out loud as Finlay turned with a wry grin and shook his head.

  ‘I was only going to say ‘poo’!’ her child retorted and Sylvie let out a sigh of relief.

  ‘If they don’t like you for who you are, then they’re not worth it,’ said Toby gently. ‘You don’t need them.’

  ‘I know and one of them, Eliza, well her boyfriend asked me out and I said to him I wouldn’t go out with him because he was still with her. And he said we wouldn’t tell her!’ laughed out Daisy.

  ‘What a horrible little boy,’ Toby said, shaking his head. ‘If you’re with someone, you stay faithful to them. Tell him to take a hike!’

  ‘That’s true,’ Daisy said agreeing as Finlay quickly looked at Sylvie then back to her daughter.

  ‘And what would you look for in a suitable boyfriend or husband?’ Finlay asked, while sipping his glass of red wine. ‘Tall, dark and handsome?’

  ‘Oh no!’ the little girl laughed. ‘Daddy was tall and he made mummy look tiny. That’s funny! And he had brown hair and he was very good looking. Everyone used to say so.’

  ‘Do you remember anything about your daddy?’ Finlay asked gently as Sylvie examined her daughter’s innocent expression.

  ‘I remember a lot and we have DVDs of him so I never forget,’ she said and Sylvie knew Daisy was starting to get upset as did Finlay, who grabbed Daisy’s hand tightly.

  ‘I lost my dad when I was a bit younger than you. You never forget Daisy. They live on in your heart and head and in you. If your daddy was alive he’d be very proud of you.’

  ‘That’s what mummy and grandma say and Nalini, they say that and that makes me happy,’ she said smiling.

  ‘So what are you looking for in a husband?’ added Toby sitting back with a flirtatious grin. ‘Would I fit the bill?’

  ‘Someone like my daddy,’ she said and Sylvie noticed Finlay flicked a glance in her direction. ‘Kind and funny plus he mustn’t die and leave me like daddy did to mummy. That would be too sad.

  The table fell silent for a moment.

  Sylvie blinked back the pin prick of tears hitting her eyes and Toby gently touched her hand.

  ‘That won’t happen to you Daisy boo,’ she said, clearing her throat. ‘It was sad it happened to me and daddy but at least we had a long time together and with you. That’s the most important thing.’

  ‘I know,’ Daisy sighed and Finlay leaned closer and put an arm around her. ‘But I do miss my daddy especially when we go on holiday and at Christmas.’

  Then the little girl burst into tears.

  Large ice creams and some more wine later, they all walked down the road together. Toby was strolling in front with Daisy, who was now laughing. Sylvie put that down to the sugar rushing through her child’s blood stream.

  ‘I didn’t mean to upset her,’ Finlay whispered, bending down. ‘She’s a lovely little girl.’

  ‘She took ages to get over his death and then was scared I was going to leave her. I couldn’t leave her for six months then I had to when the job came up. Daisy needed to be less scared but it was a major readjustment and sometimes, just sometimes, it comes back. You didn’t upset her Fin.’ Sylvie glanced up at him as he half smiled. ‘But you surprised me by turning up. As you pointed out, this isn’t going anywhere, me and you.’

  As she said it, she felt sick but put on her mask of happiness.

  ‘We can still be friends, regardless, can’t we?’

  ‘Once we stop what we’re doing, then give it a few months, and we can be friends.’ She smiled, not wanting it to happen but knowing with his current dilemma, it was on the cards. ‘Why did you film them going at it?’

  ‘Don’t know,’ he shrugged, pushing his hand through his hair. ‘The first thing I thought is I needed proof.’

  ‘And it didn’t turn you on seeing your wife being poked by another man?’ He grimaced and that was answer enough. ‘What’s really upsetting you?’

  ‘She told him he was her best lover ever,’ he said quietly and Sylvie tried not to smile. ‘And that she loved him.’

  Just then she turned to see he was gravely upset as she gently squeezed his arm through his coat.

  ‘People say that sometimes in the heat of the moment,’ she replied sympathetically.

  ‘I definitely won’t say that to you Sylvie, so you don’t need to worry there. You’re more unsuitable for me than he is for her and I’m not that stupid to fall for someone like you.’

  A quick glance at his face and she remembered that look of disgust she’d been met with when they first met and the comment stabbed hard at her. She didn’t know what to say, seeing Toby and Daisy laughing. It shocked her as she hoped he was going to say it sometime. Sylvie realised she’d misread every single message he’d given her.

  He wasn’t saying it to protect her.

  He was just being brutally honest.

  He would be stupid to fall for someone like her, someone not so perfect.

  ‘Sometimes your honesty is like a fresh breath of winter air, chilling and very cold,’ she said, biting back her hurt. ‘And even if I want to ever say that, I’ll know never to waste my breath.’

  Her chest felt tight at what she’d said and Finlay glanced down with his icy stare.

  ‘Just because your wife’s cutting you up, don’t make it too bloody obvious how disgusting you find me. It’s just nasty and hurtful. If that’s the fact, then I
really would prefer it if you piss off!’ she said, realising her ice mask had slipped as Sylvie marched towards the others. ‘Hey, we have to go. Say goodbye and thank Toby and his brother for joining us.’

  ‘Sylvie,’ she heard Finlay say. ‘That’s not what I meant.’

  ‘Hurry, hurry, it’s New Year’s Eve,’ she said, ignoring him. ‘Thank you Toby.’ Sylvie gave him a big hug as did Daisy, who also stepped towards Finlay.

  He bent down and cuddled her as Sylvie looked away and smiled at Toby.

  ‘What are your plans?’ Toby asked cheerfully. ‘I’m taking out my old brother to pull some classy chicks.’

  ‘Well I hope you have a successful evening,’ she replied and grabbed her daughter’s hand. ‘Happy New Year!’

  Sylvie walked away and didn’t bother to turn to look at Finlay.

  He still had a way of cutting through her and each time it wounded deeper.

  This time he’d gone straight to the heart.

  Thirty eight

  It was like a dull bell banging from side to side in his head. He couldn’t remember much other than at midnight he kissed Toby. There was a lot of kissing and touching going on but it was a blur.

  He’d got out of bed after one, only woken by the smell of food but soon retched in the toilet before taking time to slowly shower and change. Finlay was at his mother’s house and in his old room, which didn’t resemble anything he remembered. Beautifully decorated and stylish, it was opposite to how he had it when he returned from University.

  Lying face down, he needed some painkillers but was too knackered to move. Then he heard the door opening and Alice popped her head around with a sympathetic grin.

  ‘You’re alive too,’ she whispered. ‘The amount of racket you made coming in I’m surprised you didn’t wake the whole street.’

  ‘Can I just die in peace, mother?’

  ‘You’re coming down at two thirty as we have guests, okay. I’ll bring in some tablets just to help the pain.’ Finlay closed his eyes and heard his mother’s laugh. ‘You remind me when I used to come into your room after you and your friends used to raid the whiskey.’

  He closed his eyes and then heard his phone beep.

  Reaching out he looked at it and it was from Sylvie.

  ‘Thank you. Happy New Year to you. Please just leave me alone from now on, okay. I think you made your point and I get it. The pictures just confirmed it.’

  Finlay sat up and then squinted as he saw the texts he’d sent. Quite a few to his friends but there were many to Sylvie.

  He read them.

  ‘I’m only telling it like it is so you needn’t have walked off into a huff about it.’

  ‘I find it confusing that someone who wants nothing then simply expects something!’

  ‘We need each other right now but let’s be honest, there’s no future in it. You’re too old and if I was to be with someone long term it wouldn’t be you.’

  ‘Oh Jesus!’ he said, re reading his last message before going through the rest.

  ‘You know what? Let’s pull the plug now as it’s obvious you’re reading too much into it whereas I’m just having fun.’

  There was then a gap of two hours.

  ‘You should go and find a man suitable to your age and background who’ll make you happy.’

  ‘Fuck,’ Finlay groaned when he could barely remember sending the last text.

  Then he read on.

  ‘Too many women so little time!’

  Then he remembered she mentioned pictures and looked at what he sent. His heart sunk as there were two of him kissing different women. It looked awful. Even he felt sick on seeing them.

  ‘No!’ he said, putting his head in his hands and realising she was never going to speak to him again.

  Then he clicked open the last text he sent.

  ‘Sylvie, I need you.’

  That’s when he realised the last message was nearer to the truth as he started to remember, in between the mouthfuls of women, he was thinking about Sylvie and her face when he mentioned he would never tell her he loved her.

  Finlay noticed the sadness in her expression then the annoyance. He didn’t mean it as a put down but, in hindsight, he was being pretty dismissive and the truth of it, he wanted to hurt her like his wife had just done to him. Finlay knew she liked him, a lot as he did her.

  He got up and walked barefoot down to the kitchen, where his mother was busy fussing over the food while Piers sat at the breakfast bar watching his wife flap. Then he saw Toby sitting at the dining room table, as if stunned. Finlay went to the cupboard and got some painkillers before putting them in his mouth and going to the sink, running the tap and drinking from there.

  ‘Why can’t the pair of you use glasses, like normal people!’ his mother hissed as he realised she was stressed.

  Finlay glanced over at Toby, who managed to blink and nod before going back into his statue like position.

  ‘Good night?’ Piers asked quietly as Finlay then focussed on the table, realising it was set for lots of people. ‘Yes, we have a few guests arriving soon.’

  ‘I’m going home,’ Finlay said hoarsely.

  ‘You’re staying here!’ his mother replied sharply. ‘They’re your family and haven’t seen you in years. Make an effort. I’ve told them Juliette’s mother is ill and that’s why she’s not here.’ Alice turned with her hands on her hips. ‘I want all three of you to look respectable. You have an hour to pull yourselves together, or else?’

  ‘Or else what?’ groaned Toby, placing his head on the table.

  ‘You don’t want to know,’ shrugged Piers as Finlay dreaded the rest of the day.

  The family and friends traipsed in and slowly, he started to revive, but was torn on whether to call Sylvie to apologise. She hadn’t sent another text and as the day went on, he felt guiltier than he thought humanely possible.

  ‘Finlay Chambers!’ he heard someone shout out and it was his late father’s sister, Rosalind Chambers, in her late seventies but incredibly sprightly.

  She was petite with bobbed grey hair and sparkling blue eyes, a little plump but dressed in hippy chic outfits. Rosalind could only be described as someone who wanted to grow old disgracefully. And that’s what she did. She’d spent the last year in Morocco, hanging out, so his mother said.

  ‘Where’s the French tart?’ she said loud enough for the other family guests to turn away. ‘I hear that slut of a mother of hers has contracted hepatitis c from all that screwing around. No one really knows who Juliette’s father really is. I thought it was Piers at one point.’

  ‘Rosalind!’ Alice said, walking towards her. ‘Keep your voice down!’

  ‘That’s the real reason you don’t like that Le Font girl because your husband did the nasty with her mother.’

  ‘Really?’ Finlay said, glancing over at the slim line Piers sipping on a small glass of red. ‘Marianne slept with Piers?’

  ‘He was a looker when he was young, I can tell you. Still is,’ Rosalind said and flashed him a glance as Finlay noticed his mother was trying to hold in her annoyance. ‘A bit of a wild boy!’

  ‘Rosalind will you just behave today?’ hissed Alice before walking off.

  Rosalind waited for a moment then burst out laughing.

  ‘Your mother is so easy to wind up. Your father and I had the most fun trying to rile her. I think you inherited her stuffed shirt attitude,’ she smiled and gently reached up to touch his face. ‘But you are a handsome man, Finlay Chambers. Give me a kiss!’ He bent down and did as he was told. ‘If you weren’t my nephew I’d give you a run for your money!’

  Rosalind laughed out loudly and it was infectious. Then Finlay thought of Sylvie’s laugh and his heart sank.

  ‘Oh god! What’s wrong with you? You look like a little lost puppy?’ she said, dragging him away from prying eyes and ears. ‘I know about your wife and that baby nonsense! Surely she knows who the father is.’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ he
replied, feeling uncomfortable.

  ‘I’m the only sane woman in this family,’ she said seriously, even though he thought the opposite. ‘Your mother is incensed by it all and the only thing any of us ever agreed on was that you were too good for her but you couldn’t see it. Blinded by her beauty and alleged good breeding!’ Rosalind guffawed for a moment. ‘Thing is, you are more of a catch than her.’

  ‘That’s not true Aunt Rosalind. She’s a wonderful woman and-.’

  ‘Don’t bloody well call me aunt, how many times have I told you!’ she scorned playfully. ‘I’m seventy seven years old. I think that’s a magical age. Nearly forty years older than you. I know a wonderful woman when I see one and she certainly isn’t, believe me Finlay. The problem is, how long will it take for you to see it?’

  The last thing Sylvie wanted to do was to see or speak to Finlay. After she read the texts and looked at the pictures, knowing he was drunk, Sylvie thought he was an arse.

  A very cruel and hurtful arse.

  After all the feelings she realised were bubbling away inside her about him, she figured it was like flogging a dead horse.

  The dead horse being his heart and his comments about her unsuitability and age just made her want to cry but she shrugged it off, after sobbing for thirty minutes remembering the photos he’d sent tonguing young women, as best a woman of forty eight could and concentrated on her current dilemma.

  Child care.

  Her mother had flown out to Guyana on New Year’s Day so Sylvie was juggling Daisy with fit club so any spare time to left was to go into ‘Good Vibration’. She decided to work from home as much as possible until Daisy went back to school on 8th and her mother returned on 10th.

  It would also be a good excuse to avoid Finlay.

  As she walked in, the place was pretty noisy.

  ‘You decide to work?’ Samina said, rushing towards her, grabbing her tightly, giving her a big kiss. ‘Happy New Year! You get man?’

  ‘No man this year, maybe next,’ she laughed out brightly, knowing she’d been chewed and spat out by one person in particular. ‘Did you have a good time?’