Good Vibration

by S M Mala

‘Heartbreak but I live,’ she shrugged. ‘All my daughters happy. Then boy daughter say he getting married to his boy. I not know what to do. I see it on soap on telly they very accepting but now, I have to tell family and that bad.’

  ‘Your boy daughter is happy and he’s in love. You’re a wonderful person to be able to see past that and he’s still your son, no matter what,’ she said, knowing she was thinking about Finlay’s comments. ‘It’s what’s inside that counts, nothing else.’

  ‘What wrong with you!’ barked the woman. ‘Why you be nice? You think voucher buy me over? You still promoted Scottish giant over me!’

  ‘Lovely to be back,’ Sylvie smiled and went round to see the others before walking up the stairs.

  She hadn’t seen Finlay’s car and hoped he wasn’t in. As soon as she got to the office, it was empty and she let out a sigh of relief, before groaning as Stephen rushed towards her.

  ‘Happy New Year!’ he said brightly, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek.

  ‘Thanks! And Happy New Year to you!’

  ‘How was the holiday?’

  ‘Good. I came in a few times, made sure everything was okay. I better go and check the paperwork. I’m going to be mainly working from home over the next week or so.’

  ‘Well I’m sure Finlay will be able to cover for you,’ he replied, smiling brightly. ‘How can you work with someone when you know they don’t like you?’

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘He told me he didn’t really like you and I know you don’t like him. Must be pretty hard? You can always get him and me to swap offices, if you’d prefer. But then Piers should be coming back soon and-.’

  ‘I really need to press on.’

  Sylvie opened her door and went to her desk before sitting down, feeling upset it seemed to be common knowledge that Finlay wasn’t really fond of her. She waved to Gillian and Elizbieta then smiled at Della who was on the phone. Her heart was beginning to sink seeing she’d been used by him but it was only herself who was blinded to it all.

  To Finlay.

  ‘Work sweet work,’ she mumbled then started to go through the outstanding orders and any complaints that had come in, before finalising the attendance sheets for the year and sorting out the new ones.

  Head down she startled herself when she looked up and saw Finlay sitting at his desk. Her heart skipped a massive beat before sinking back into a dark hole of unsuitability.

  ‘I didn’t hear you come in,’ she said and realised the radio was on quite loud, so she turned it down.

  As she looked at him, he didn’t look up and she wondered if she should say something then decided not to. She felt an awful pain of despair and realised she was still acting and feeling like a stupid teenager.

  A very hurt one.

  ‘I’m really sorry about the texts and picture messages,’ he said quietly. She didn’t look up. ‘I was drunk.’

  ‘It’s fine. I think even in your drunken state you are right about the whole thing. We should stop it. It was fun while it lasted but we’re not a good match in many ways and I need someone more suitable to my background, isn’t that it?’

  Her head was still down as she spoke, counting the sick days the company had taken for the end of the year and feeling ill in her own gut.

  ‘As long as we can keep on friendly terms, is that okay?’

  ‘I think you said enough for me to know that’s going to be a little hard but I’ll try. You can always talk to me if you need a shoulder,’ she replied, looking up and smiling at him, putting her best happy face forward, masking her sadness as she’d become accustomed to do for years and more recently with him.

  He stared blankly at her before typing something on his laptop.

  ‘I won’t be in much over the next week because my mother’s on holiday and Daisy doesn’t return to school until Tuesday. Obviously, contact me if there’s anything urgent,’ Sylvie said, realising the best thing was to talk about work. ‘We didn’t do as well as I hoped for Christmas but we did well enough. We’ll shift some more items. I’m looking at the amount of stock we’re ordering and what’s selling.’

  ‘I can do that for you. That’s what I’m here for.’

  ‘I thought you were here to jeopardize the company and close it down in twelve months?’ she laughed only to be met with one of his posh icy stares. ‘We need to tell the others that Piers isn’t coming back for a few months and that’s why you’re here.’

  ‘I’ll tell them now.’

  Finlay stood up abruptly and marched out, asking everyone to go to their office as Sylvie sat at her desk watching them all walk in.

  ‘Quickly, I’d like to tell you Piers won’t be coming back for a while so I’m here until we can decide what’s best for the company,’ Finlay announced.

  ‘What do you mean he’s not coming back?’ asked Stephen, looking as confused as the others. ‘It’s his company.’

  ‘His share of the company belongs to ‘Chambers Caplin’ the other share belongs to Sylvie Mather.’

  ‘What?’ Sylvie said, trying not to choke.

  ‘You own part of the company?’ said Pria looking shocked. ‘Why didn’t you say?’

  ‘I only found out a few months ago so you don’t really need Piers here as the other boss is around.’

  She didn’t know how to reply as they were all looking at her with a mix of confusion and disbelief.

  ‘I’m not rich,’ sniffed Sylvie. ‘And I didn’t say, as it really makes no difference.’

  ‘How long you been part owner?’ asked Samina with a stern expression.

  ‘About… I don’t know… two years give or take,’ she replied and realised Finlay was now going to play nasty.

  ‘I think we should be honest and open about it all. If you have any questions then please feel free to speak to me or Sylvie at any time,’ he said with a bright smile as she suddenly yearned for him to be nice to her.

  Then she realised he was in the wrong and it was she who should be grimacing at him.

  ‘And another thing,’ she said, seeing Wanda walk into the room then wondering where Toby was. ‘I want this to stay open and they want it to close. That’s the difference in the ‘bosses’.’ Sylvie looked at their stunned faces. ‘Any questions?’

  ‘Sylvie, why didn’t you tell us your part owner, it’s like you didn’t trust us, innit,’ said Pria, stepping forward looking a little disgruntled.

  ‘I trust nearly all of you, implicitly. It makes no difference. Nothing has changed. Have you noticed any changes?’

  ‘No but we should have been told. We’re a team, innit,’ persisted Pria.

  ‘I know but I thought it wasn’t worth you guys finding out. Piers is the majority owner. I’ve just got a little bit.’

  ‘Forty per cent,’ perked up Finlay as he smiled. ‘So she’s got quite a major share. Sylvie wants to keep this place going for a long time and well…’ He glanced away. ‘Based on the figures I’ve just seen you’re a long way from reaching the promised targets.’

  ‘But we will achieve them,’ she said, irritated by his comment and standing up. ‘I intend to motivate and make it happen. And if Finlay tries to be negative just tell him… tell him… to fuck right off!’

  ‘Oh!’ said Samina, looking at her then at Finlay, who was starting to get angry.

  She heard the others mumble in the background.

  ‘Not that, exactly, but tell him to stop spoiling it for us. He has another job, the rest of us don’t and so we have to make it last as long as it can, with or without his help!’

  She sat back down and gulped hard.

  ‘I think we better go,’ Gillian said, nodding her head. ‘I’m sure everything will be fine.’

  ‘Better be!’ Finlay said sharply before sitting back down as they glared at each other before hearing the door close.

  ‘What was that about?’ she hissed. ‘You had no right to tell them.’

  ‘I have every right! They need to know,’ he said with his usual piss
ed off expression. ‘And it’s so professional to advise them to tell me to ‘fuck off’! Which business school was that from?’

  ‘Leave me alone.’

  ‘Oh believe me I intend to.’

  ‘Good!’ she said, then got up seeing he jumped as she stepped closer to his desk. ‘Give me back the key card to the room.’

  Holding out her hand she noticed he didn’t move for a moment and then turned to look at her.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Just do it.’

  ‘I’ll hand it back when I’m good and ready, not before. And for your information, my company owns sixty per cent of that room so you should be handing it back to me.’

  He smiled.

  Not a nice one but his superior one.

  She turned and noticed the coffee hut was coming so grabbed her bag and walked out to get something to drink, just so she wouldn’t have to speak to him. Sylvie stood there shaking her head, knowing that even her being away from the place for most of the week was going to cause problems.

  ‘Marianne, could you find Krystof and come to the meeting room now,’ she said and then asked Gillian to join them when she got to the offices.

  Finlay was looking at her as she went to the end meeting office and waited for them to come in. As they sat she saw Finlay looking over as well as Stephen.

  ‘I won’t be around much until 8th January but in the mean time I need you guys to keep a close eye on what’s going on. Don’t let Finlay tell you what to do, he’s not here to help.’

  ‘But he seems so nice,’ said Marianne as Gillian and Krystof nodded.

  ‘He wants to shut this place and he’ll try and do it. He’ll play nice and you’ll fall for his bullshit only to realise he still thinks you’re scum, believe me.’ She noticed Gillian give her a funny look. ‘Piers will be coming back, I don’t know when but I think this place has got potential and I want to make it work. I will make it work!’

  ‘I think you’ve had a dose of ‘Braveheart’ over Christmas,’ laughed Marianne as Sylvie smiled.

  ‘Just makes sure everything runs smoothly. Gillian, please check the edited packages or get Toby to email them over to me. I don’t want Finlay making any decisions and all three of you, keep an eye on Stephen. He’s not a team player.’

  ‘You only notice now?’ said Krystof, shaking his head from side to side.

  ‘I have fifty one weeks to make this work and I will make it work, with or without help.’

  ‘Unless they decide to shut us down?’ Marianne added gravely.

  ‘Just let them fucking well try!’

  Finlay wasn’t an idiot, he knew everyone was being polite but not once had they gone into the office to ask for any help, which they had done before Christmas.

  He’d spent a week watching them work hard. In all this time he’d had hardly any contact with Sylvie and he hated to admit it, but he was missing her more than he anticipated. The confusion about what he said and how he acted towards her only made him realise he’d used her as a punch bag.

  Mistreating her the same way his wife had mistreated him.

  He wanted to call her, wanted to see her but he was so scared he’d ruined it and then he’d read the text messages he sent again, realising he was upset that night because he’d upset her. But to top it all, the pictures of him kissing some young women would only hurt her even more.

  Sitting at his desk, he recalled all the things he’d said to her. Then when he got some sort of reaction, as he did after lunch in New Year’s Eve, he hit out.

  Now he was just angry with himself.

  Samina popped her head around the door startling himself out of his mood.

  ‘Tea?’ she said.

  ‘No thank you.’

  ‘Samosa?’

  ‘Not today.’

  ‘Hot sex?’

  ‘Maybe later.’

  ‘Finlay you thin and pale. You need to eat. What wrong with you? Since we come back you miserable and it make us miserable.’

  ‘I’m not miserable, I’m busy,’ he replied sharply and realised his tone surprised Samina. ‘I’m sorry, I’ve got a lot on and I’m not sleeping.’

  ‘Why no sleep? I have good strong tablets. They say illegal but I say legal if I can sleep when plane from Heathrow come over house.’ Samina sat at Sylvie’s desk. ‘Boss woman upset you?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘She do something because I can tell you very angry with each other,’ she sniffed trying to open Sylvie’s locked drawers. ‘She like you.’

  ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘Oh she like you and you like her but you have problem and so does Sylvie.’ She stood up. ‘I bring samosa and tea.’

  ‘What problem has she got? Actually don’t answer that, she has loads of problems,’ he fumed.

  ‘I know,’ she said, shaking her head from side to side. ‘I know a lot about sex and I see.’

  ‘What?’ Finlay could feel his cheeks getting red.

  ‘You not happy in marriage. I not ask, not my place but I can tell. Even though four husbands dead, I know unhappy face.’

  ‘I’m not unhappy,’ he said, opening his email.

  ‘Finlay, why when you look at Sylvie you look like she bad smell and then sometimes you look like you can smell flower? I not understand. I see her face look shock, she get so sad. What you do to upset her? Make her feel not good enough?’

  ‘No I don’t,’ he said, glancing away then gulping hard and realising he was being that obvious. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘You not hide feelings. Show in your face. Sylvie opposite. She can hide. Like she put up wall except when you upset her. She not want to show when she hurt but sometime, as you see with her chocolate, she not so good at keeping it up.’

  ‘I’m really busy.’

  ‘I be honest. I know weeks ago you must be friends as I could smell her on you and you on her. You both smile that day, look happy. Now you both look angry and sad.’ Samina let out a little sigh before walking out of the office. ‘And Christmas Party you look happy and she… she look busy.’

  Closing his eyes for a moment, he remembered the morning they made love after the party and how it was warm and wonderful. He felt so happy being with her.

  Then the last time they were together, he felt duty bound to tell her the truth, to make sure she knew it wasn’t going to last. Finlay realised he said that as there was the minute hope he’d resolve things with Juliette but now that seemed so far off.

  He noticed the time and realised Sylvie would be coming into work any minute as he tried to deflect from the feeling of anticipation crawling in his gut on seeing her again. Then he heard her laugh and noticed she was coming into sight, eating a samosa and walking straight into the office.

  It was like an enormous shock when he looked at her.

  Finlay was overwhelmed from how he was feeling and frowned at his laptop knowing he was confused about too many things.

  ‘Good morning,’ she said brightly, her head covered in a large hat.

  ‘Good morning Sylvie,’ he replied and watched her take her covers off to reveal the small lady dressed in black who he wanted to touch, hold and kiss. ‘God it’s cold outside!’ She checked the heaters. ‘These aren’t on? Aren’t you freezing?’

  ‘Didn’t notice,’ he replied, examining her from the back and wondering if she was still as warm and soft as before. ‘How’s Daisy?’

  ‘Back to school, thank god,’ she said smiling before taking her laptop, plugging it in and sitting at her desk. ‘I have to get a temp in. Have you seen the orders since-.’

  ‘Do what you have to do,’ he said dismissively and watched Sylvie smile before nodding as she looked at her laptop.

  Finlay stared at her.

  He knew she was aware he was looking but realised she didn’t want to look at him.

  ‘I might be moving to work in the head office,’ he said and noticed she nodded. ‘I think it’s better considering what’s going on here.’

 
‘Sure,’ she said smiling, putting on her glasses and concentrating hard. ‘More productive for you and probably you need to be closer to your associates.’

  ‘Less than a fortnight ago we were fucking like rabbits and it’s as if we don’t know each other all because you got the arse over a few honest things I said,’ Finlay blurted out, unable to hold it in as he knew he was getting angry. ‘And you didn’t bother to call or email me to see if I was alright after New Year. Then last week, it’s as if December didn’t happen. I don’t understand.’

  Sylvie sat there for a moment and she was going through something in her head.

  ‘What do you want from me?’ she asked quietly.

  ‘I want to talk to you, I want to fuck you, I don’t know. You just turned cold. I’m telling you the truth.’

  ‘You told me not to read anything into what we were doing and said you’d never ever tell me you love me, someone like me, with that look of pure disgust which you have on your face right now. The one which sort of says to me, you’d have to be mad to think I deserve you because I’m not good enough. I never said I wanted anything but you presumed I did and, to cover your tracks, being dismissive makes you feel less guilty and me more used. So yes, let’s go to the bedroom and fuck if that’s what you want.’

  Finlay noticed something in her face, a little give away which he interpreted for the same hard pain he was currently feeling in his gut.

  ‘You know you’ve never asked me out to dinner or for a drink,’ she continued. ‘We sat down for lunch twice and that was for business. There’s always a rush to get to the room and have sex before we say goodbye. Maybe you should keep the key card and I’ll find some good high class escorts to facilitate.’

  ‘That’s what you think? I’m using you for a fuck?’

  ‘Aren’t you? I need someone from my own background, my own age don’t I? Even now you say you’re not sure if you miss me or the fucking. How does that make me feel? And then you come to meet my daughter for lunch, all the time knowing that you’ve slept with me, and…’ He could see she was starting to get upset as Sylvie gulped frantically. ‘How do you think I felt seeing my child smile at the first man who I have slept with since her father? It just shows how little you really know, understand or care for me. I was flattered by your attention but it comes with a horrible aftertaste which I don’t like.’