Even If You Don't

by Kimberly Blake

  “Okay, and second?”

  He rubs his hand over his face and scratches the scruff he has acquired. He looks stressed out and all I want to do is make him feel better. Instead, I sit quietly and wait for him to answer my question.

  “So when I was doing the interview and they asked if I was open to finding love, I said yes. And I was talking about you. I did the interview right before the barbecue at Dan’s. I said I was finally ready and that’s when I took a chance. At least I was going to. I had planned to talk to you that night but Parker, that asshole, came in and you got all googly eyed over him and it pissed me off. Then when we went to eat at the sport’s bar, you went crazy on me during the ride home so I changed tactics.”

  “But I don’t get it. You weren’t nice to me and you had never shown any interest in me up to that point.”

  “That’s a lie. You know that’s a lie. I asked you out the first day I met you and about a hundred times since. You blew me off. Every damn time.”

  “I thought you were messing me with. I didn’t think you were serious.” It’s hard to wrap my mind around all of this. Yet, what he says is true. He did ask me out. I just never thought he actually meant it.

  “Of course I was serious, Macy. I wish you would have seen that.”

  “Well, maybe I would have if you had been nicer.” I toss back.

  “I’m sorry for that. You kept blowing me off and I thought maybe you’d eventually come around. I started to like annoying you because you’re so cute when you’re flustered. I thought at some point you’d say yes to me but you didn’t. Not until Mexico.”

  “Yeah, I came around because you were finally yourself. You were kind and caring towards me as a friend and I appreciated that. Then you pissed me off when you called off our truce. You revert to your asshole ways when things don’t go your way.”

  “I’m not doing that now. I’m trying to fix this. Don’t you see that.” And I do see that. I just don’t know what to make of it.

  I don’t answer immediately. I don’t know what to say. So we just stare at each other. His eyes are pleading with me and I want to give in so badly.

  “I see that you’re making an effort. And of course, I believe you about the media release.”

  “Then let’s start over.”

  “Okay, but answer this for me. Has anything changed? Would we be able to be together publicly?”

  He hesitates and that’s all that it takes for me to decide it’s not going to work. I get up from the table because I’m definitely leaving now. He grabs my wrist and stops me. His hand slides from my wrist to my hand.

  “Can you give me a week?”

  “What is going to change in a week?” This conversation has taken all of the energy and patience that I have. I’m so over it.

  “I promise it will be worth the wait. Please, just one week.”

  “Okay, one week. After that, though, I’m through. I’m sorry but I just can’t keep doing this.”

  “I understand. But there is something you should know before you go. I love you and I’m going to keep loving you, even if you don’t.” He smiles as he releases my hand.

  I walk out of the restaurant trying to wrap my mind around everything that he just said. The brain tumor theory I have is seeming like a possibility now more than ever. He needs time but he loves me? What difference does a week make? I’m so conflicted right now that I don’t know what to do. I’m ecstatic that he expressed his feelings for me and I’m also kind of happy to know that he’s had a thing for me all along. However, the fact that he’s being so shady about what he’s doing this week is making me nervous and to be honest, a little frustrated. I head back to my apartment so I can finish my work for the day. I soon find out that I’m totally useless so I decide to go into work early tomorrow to make up for the time lost.

  I pour myself a glass of wine and decide that today is a day-drinking kind of day. Bonnie is sleeping on top of my bookshelf and I find myself missing Clyde, even though he scratched the shit out of me last time. I won’t forget that anytime soon. Maybe Bonnie is so lethargic because she misses Clyde too. Or maybe it’s because she’s a cat and cats are lazy. Though I have discovered that cats do indeed make a lot of noise, mainly in the form of knocking things over.

  Charlotte doesn’t have to work today so after I drunkenly call her she makes her way over to my house.

  She doesn’t knock when she arrives, she just comes straight in.

  “Macy, get off the kitchen floor.”

  “But the tile feels so good. Do you want to join me?”

  “No, Mace.” She sighs loudly and then she actually does join me on the floor. She crosses her long legs Indian style. I wonder if that’s an offensive term to Native Americans? Should it be Native American style? I’ll have to ask my step-dad about that. He’s like 1/16th Cherokee. Which, come on, doesn’t really count. But he brags about that shit whenever he has a chance.

  Thinking about Indians makes me think about Indian reservations which then leads me to think about casinos. Casinos have free drinks.

  “Hey Char, do you want to go to the casino?”

  “I’m gonna have to pass on that one, Mace.” She laughs lightly. “You are so random.”

  “So Eric loves me. He said he loves me even if I don’t love him. He’s still an asshole so I don’t know if I love him but apparently, he loves me anyways.”

  “Well, that’s bullshit. I mean, not the asshole part because that’s been clear since day one but you definitely have feelings for the guy or you wouldn’t be in your current state.”

  “I’m in Texas, what other state would I be in?”

  Char shakes her head, “Mace, that’s not what I meant.”

  “Well, I didn’t cry,” I say defensively even though I bawled like a baby.

  She raises her eyebrow at me. “Your mascara tells a different story.”

  “Oh, that… that’s because I ran out of wine. Did you happen to bring a bottle?”

  “Nope, sorry to disappoint. How about I make you some coffee and something to eat so we can sober you up?” She’s already in caretaker mode with is her default setting.

  “Mmmm, food.”

  “I’ll take that as a yes. Do you want me to order a pizza?”

  “Mmmm, pizza.”

  And with that, she goes to work making coffee and ordering the pizza. Somehow she gets me into a sitting position but I’m not quite clear on how that happened. She mumbled something about me being dead weight.

  Once the pizza arrives she sets it between us and we eat on my kitchen floor. Bonnie comes to check out what’s going on but she’s soon disinterested and walks away to take a nap, I assume.

  “Well, it looks like I can’t skip my workout now. This pizza is totally worth it, though.” She moans as she says this.

  “Char, you do not have to work out because you ate pizza. I’m pretty positive there isn’t an ounce of body fat on you.”

  “That’s because I work out. Plus you’re wrong, I’m getting cellulite on my thighs and it’s driving me nuts.”

  I roll my eyes at her. I’m pretty sure I’ve had cellulite on my thighs since I was 14. Char is skinny as a rail, me on the other hand… let’s just say I’ve got curves. They’re probably all from pizza. But, I blame it on the fact that I’m so short. If I was taller then all my fat would spread out. It sounds logical to me but I’ve voiced that theory before and no one follows my train of thought. That tends to happen to me a lot.

  I decide that I’m done drinking for the day. Mostly because I ran out of things to drink but also because I already have a headache. I take a couple of ibuprofen and down a glass of water. I’ve finally managed to get off the floor. That, in and of itself, is an accomplishment because after the pizza I am a little too stuffed. I just want to lie down and not move for twenty-four hours.

  Char twists her golden hair into a bun on top of her head and starts cleaning my kitchen. I’ve said it before but it bears mentioning again, she really i
s the best friend in the world.

  “Char, leave that alone. I’ll get it later. You don’t have to go all Monica Geller on me.”

  She smiles at the comparison. “I can’t help it. My brain is just wired this way. I’ll just clean off the island and that’s it. I promise.” She’s totally lying.

  I sit down on the couch and turn on an episode of Friends because it’s fresh on my mind.

  The next thing I know, I wake up to a loud crash.

  “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.”

  “Char, what happened?” I round the corner and see that she’s holding her foot and hopping up and down.

  She takes a deep breath. “Macy, I need you to take me to the hospital.” She says this calmly but obviously something is very wrong.

  I’m just standing there staring at her when she snaps her fingers at me. “Mace! I think my foot is broken. You need to take me to the hospital now… please.”

  “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” I echo her earlier statement. I also add a couple of other profanities for good measure.

  There’s no way I can get Char to the car by myself. Our height difference poses a problem because I can’t support her and I definitely can’t carry her. So I call my brother. I know she’s going to be pissed but I’m definitely not calling Eric. Griff is out of town for work and Parker’s team started football practice so he’s busy too. I don’t have any other viable options so I’ll just settle for her being mad for a while.

  I sit on the floor with her and hold her hand as we wait. I’ve never broken a bone before but I can imagine that it hurts really bad. It makes me cringe to even think about it so I’m trying really hard not to think about it. When I told her I called Dan, she started giving me the silent treatment like we’re children. So we sit on the floor of my kitchen in silence until there is a knock at my door.

  I hop up and answer it. Dan comes in and heads straight for Charlotte.

  “How the hell did you break your foot?”

  “Nice to see you too.” You can hear the contempt in her voice. At first, she avoided Dan because she felt somehow responsible for his breakup. But recently she’s been avoiding him because she’s mad at him. She won’t tell me why she’s mad. She just said that he’s an asshole. So naturally, I can relate because I’ve been dealing with one of those too.

  Their bickering isn’t going to help any so I go ahead and answer his question. “She was cleaning my kitchen and when she went to put away a cast iron skillet she dropped it on her foot.” I cringe as I say it because it just sounds so painful.

  Dan’s face contorts too. “Why was she cleaning your kitchen?”

  I feel like I have to defend myself. “I didn’t ask her to. You know how she is. She goes nuts if there is a mess and my kitchen was definitely a mess.”

  Char starts waving her hand in the air. “Yoohoo, guys, I’m right here and I’d really like to go get my foot looked at.”

  Dan turns to her and lifts her off the ground. Rather than supporting her as she walks, he just carries her. It’s kind of adorable if you can ignore the daggers she is shooting at him.

  I don’t know why I never thought of it before but Char and Dan would be the perfect couple. I guess since I’ve always been against messing with people’s business I don’t think of things like this that should be so obvious to me. I can be dense sometimes, it’s a sad but true fact. But since I have been messing in people’s business lately I’ve been seeing stuff that I want to fix about their lives. Like this. I mean, they’re already best friends. Well, he’s her second best friend but that counts for something. They’re very compatible and talk for hours by themselves. Sometimes when we’re at a party, you can just find them off in their own little world together. Lord knows what they’re talking about that keeps Char so interested because I can’t listen to Dan talk for more than 10 minutes before I zone out. I mean, he’s my brother and I love him but the man is the worst conversationalist. They look really cute together too. I know that’s not a sign that they should be together but they really do look nice as a pair. He’s taller than her which is a plus. She’s like really tall. I know that almost everyone is tall compared to me but she actually is tall. Their babies would be an adorable mixture of their perfect faces. And then I’d have more nieces and nephews to steal! It’s a win-win for everybody really.

  Since apparently, I’m now a busybody, I start scheming on how I’m going to get them together. This should be fun. And with Char’s broken foot she won’t really be able to stop me.

  Once we’re at the hospital we don’t have to wait too long before the doctor takes Char back. He obviously knows her from the familiar way they talk to each other. This is the hospital she works at so that’s no surprise. He’s attractive too which I’m sure helps when you’re sick or hurt and he’s your doctor. I wonder why Char has that rule against dating people she works with. If my coworkers looked like him, I’d definitely go to the office more often. Dan doesn’t look too keen on the good doctor, probably because Doc is hot and Dan is jealous. It’s written so clearly across his face. I mentally kick myself for not noticing this sooner because I could have enacted a plan way back when. I wonder why they haven’t figured this out themselves.

  We end up waiting for two hours. Dan paces the waiting room half the time and the other half he’s fidgeting in his seat. I want to tell him to chill out because it’s just a broken foot but I’m a little worried about her too so I don’t say anything.

  Char comes out in a wheelchair being pushed by a nurse. The doctor is right beside her and he reminds her to take her medicine and get plenty of rest. Then he winks at her. She blushes and I swear Dan looks like he’s about to have a coronary. I try my best not to laugh at his miserable face.

  “Hey, guys. Sorry, it took so long. Once I got back there, I had to wait a while because there was a more emergent case. But, it turns out that it’s not broken. It is fractured in a couple of places though so I have to wear this boot for a while.” Her smile is wide and her eyes are sparkling.

  Dan runs outside to bring the car around. I walk beside Char as the nurse pushes her.

  “Why are you so smiley? You have a fractured foot.” I ask her because she looks so damn happy and content. I would not be so cheerful if I was the one with a hurt foot.

  The nurse responds for her. “They went ahead and gave her a pain pill since she had to wait so long and it looks like it kicked in.”

  Char just smiles at me in response so I pat her on the head like a kid since I’m pretty sure I’m the one that will be taking care of her later. Which I’m fine with because she takes care of me all the time. Like today, which is indirectly the reason she hurt her foot. So yeah, I’ll definitely take care of her without complaint.

  We load into Dan’s car and he heads back to my place. Char is nice to him the whole way, which I believe is a direct result of the pain pills since she was mad at him a few hours ago.

  Once we get to the apartment and get her settled on the couch, I assume he’ll just leave but he plops down beside her and gets comfy. By the end of the night, they’re both asleep on the couch. It doesn’t look all that comfortable and I totally would have given her my bed but I don’t want to wake her when she’s so peaceful.

  Chapter 11

  My work day is so long the following day. Mainly because I went in early but also because I’m distracted and it’s hard to get my work done. I also have like a million meetings. I swear some of the meetings were about scheduling more meetings.

  On my way home I get stuck in traffic which delays my trip back to my apartment. Char should still be there since she has a few days off work. Dan left this morning before I went to work. I heard the front door slam and when I went into the living room to find out what was going on, Charlotte was just sitting on the couch looking angry so I didn’t pry.

  Once I finally get home, I see Char sitting on the couch petting Bonnie and munching on chips. I drop my purse and laptop bag on the counter as I walk into the
living room and sit down beside her. I steal the bag of chips. Bonnie jumps up and runs away. My own cat doesn’t like me but she sits in Char’s lap all day. Trader.

  “How was your day?”

  “It was okay. I basically just sat right here and binge watched Grey’s Anatomy. How was work?”

  “Boring, we just had meetings all day. That’s basically going to be my whole week. Are you staying here again tonight? I’ll be working from home tomorrow so I can hang out with you and watch some Grey’s while I pretend to work.”

  “Sounds good to me. But could you do me a huge favor? When you’re out picking up dinner because I know you’re not cooking, can you stop at my apartment and grab me some clothes and toiletries?”

  “Of course. Also, you’re totally right about the food; I’m definitely not cooking. Do you want Chinese food from that place in front of your complex?”

  “Yes, definitely.”

  “Sounds good. You place the order and I’ll get changed before I head over there.”

  Once I’m at her apartment, I start packing a small bag with some extra clothes. Her apartment is so clean. When I open the door, my senses are assaulted by lemon pledge. This is something I can actually smell because it’s so strong. After I’m done there, I stop by the restaurant and pick up the order. I’m tempted to eat my meal in the car as I drive back but that would be pretty messy and probably dangerous so I just grab an egg roll and snack on it.

  My phone starts ringing and I see my brother’s face pop up on the screen so I put my headphones in and answer it.

  “What’s up, loser?”

  “Hey, Mace. How’s Char doing today?” He sounds concerned.

  “I don’t know, maybe you should ask her yourself,” I answer him.

  “Come on, Mace. She doesn’t want to talk to me. Why do you sound like you have your mouth full?”

  “Because I’m eating. You disturbed my delicious dinner.”

  “Is she still at your place?”