Blue

by Danielle Steel

  But six weeks later, Graham had been moved to Chicago, to do whatever he wanted there. One of the young reporting priests had already left the church because of it, and the other was contemplating leaving but hadn’t decided yet. But he had told Jane Sanders when she interviewed him that he was totally disillusioned about the church, and was almost certain he would leave. He had wanted to be a priest all his life growing up, and he no longer did. He said his grandmother was heartbroken over it and so disappointed. She was from the old country, and two of her own sons had become priests.

  Reading Detective Sanders’s report to the grand jury, it was amazing how many lives had been touched by the perfidies of Ted Graham. He had injured children, possibly irreparably, physically damaged the ones he’d sodomized at such a young age, devastated parents, torn apart families, disillusioned his peers and shaken their faith, and put his superiors in danger when they tried to protect him and would now answer for it. A young monsignor had spoken to him before he was transferred to Chicago, and asked him if the allegations and suspicions were true, and Father Teddy had denied it and given a lengthy but credible explanation about why people were jealous of him, and he had portrayed himself as the victim, when the reverse was true. The monsignor he had lied to was now in serious trouble over the transfer to Chicago. He had been naïve. But his superiors had known what they were doing when they hushed up the problem and tried to solve it geographically, and foisted him off on other innocents. It was a tragedy for all concerned, even Ted Graham himself, although he denied that, too, and said he was a martyr for the church.

  The grand jury deliberated on the case and voted to indict Father Teddy. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that he was guilty, as much as the church was for concealing what it knew of his crimes.

  Days after the grand jury voted to indict, Father Ted Graham was extradited to New York to be arraigned. The Chicago courts were going to arraign him later. He flew in from Chicago with two deputy sheriffs, and walked into the NY Supreme Court with his attorney and two priests accompanying him, and entered a plea of not guilty on eleven counts of sexual abuse of minors, including sodomy, oral sex, and abuse of trust. He was smiling as he entered the courtroom, and respectful as he addressed the judge. He was remanded into custody, with bail set at one million dollars, and then he was led away in handcuffs by two sheriff’s deputies, while speaking pleasantly to them. He looked completely unconcerned and neither guilty nor frightened. Ginny hadn’t gone to the arraignment, but Andrew did, and watched the proceedings carefully to report them to her later. She was disgusted when she heard of Ted’s performance in the courtroom. He was playing the role of great guy and Christian martyr to the end.

  “What happens now?” she asked Andrew when he called her. “He sits in jail until the trial?”

  “Not likely,” Andrew answered cynically. “The church will post bail quietly in a day or two, when it won’t attract too much attention. His attorney asked for him to be released on his own recognizance, saying he’s not a flight risk, but the judge denied it. They’ll have to pay a hundred thousand dollars to spring him, and post bond for the rest. The church is good for it, so they’ll get him out. And eventually, they’ll have to do it all over again in Chicago, when he’s charged there.” It had been an extraordinary series of events: Blue had had the courage to speak up, she had believed him, they had gone to the proper authorities, and Andrew had taken their case. And it was by no means over yet. In the months ahead, there would be further investigation, careful preparation of the case, and the trial in about a year, unless Graham pled guilty before that and spared the state the expense of trying him. And after that, he’d have to face trial in Illinois on the charges there. But there was no doubt he would go to prison, where Blue, Ginny, and Andrew knew he belonged.

  With everything going on related to the case, Ginny never managed to organize a vacation for herself and Blue, but they went to the beach for the day on Long Island, and went to another concert in the park. And Andrew took them to Blue’s first Broadway musical. They saw Phantom of the Opera, and he loved it. And they went sailing again on Labor Day weekend.

  As things began to calm down slowly, Blue started school the week after Labor Day, at LaGuardia Arts. Ginny took him to the first day, as she’d promised, and walked him to the entrance on Amsterdam Avenue, but she didn’t go in with him. He was on his own now, a high school freshman, hopefully to start a career in music. It reminded her of Chris’s first day at nursery school, and she cried all the way home on the subway. She thought about calling Andrew, but didn’t want to be maudlin, and she knew he was busy. But Blue had become a strong bond between them.

  It was a strange feeling going back to the apartment after she dropped Blue off. Becky called her that morning for the first time in weeks, and Ginny told her that Blue had just started school that day.

  “I can’t believe you did that for him,” Becky said, sounding admiring this time, and less critical than usual. Her own kids had returned to school the week before, and she said it was nice to have time to herself again. It had been a long summer, with the kids home for three months and her father dying. Ginny mentioned the arraignment to her, too, and the fact that there were now seventeen known victims of the errant priest, including Blue. Becky listened in shock. “It’s hard to believe a priest would do something like that, although I’ve read about it. Do you suppose he’ll plead guilty?” She suddenly sounded more interested in the case, although she hadn’t believed Blue or her sister before. But because others had accused him, too, it now seemed credible to her. Not even she could believe seventeen boys, including some grown men who had been his early victims, were lying. They talked for a few minutes, and then they both had things to do.

  Kevin Callaghan called Ginny that week, too. He had read about the priest being charged with sexual crimes in New York and suspected it was Ginny’s case that she had called him for advice about months before.

  “Is that the guy?” He was curious about it, and he hadn’t talked to her for a while.

  “Yes, it is. There are sixteen more victims, and there will probably be more before it’s over.”

  “How’s your boy doing?” He admired her for championing Blue’s cause and for believing him when no one else had.

  “Amazingly well,” she said proudly about Blue. He was a source of constant joy to her. She told Kevin about his starting a special high school for musical arts. He was going to have his first recital in December. She was glad that he would have a year of peace before Father Teddy went to trial. He needed the time for healing.

  “And what about you? When are you going on the road again?” Kevin asked her.

  “October,” she answered, feeling guilty. “I’m waiting for my next assignment.” He thought she was remarkable for that, too, and he was sorry that she didn’t have more time in her life for old friends, relationships, or romance, but he didn’t see how she could with everything she was doing, and now Blue and the trial. Her plate was very full. She promised she’d call him before she left again.

  The rest of September sped by peacefully, while Blue settled into school, and Ginny took care of their errands, kept up with State Department reports, and waited to hear about her next assignment, which she was expecting any day. And they managed to have Andrew for dinner again, and Blue told him all about school and showed him his assignments, which impressed Andrew. Blue was composing music, and was thrilled with his new school. It was easy to see that he was thriving.

  Andrew and Ginny sat and talked after dinner, when Blue went to his room to watch TV there. They had hardly had time to talk recently. Andrew said he was swamped with new cases. And he told her that there was going to be an important meeting at the archdiocese in October, to discuss a possible settlement for Blue that would avoid a civil suit. And if there was a settlement in the civil suit, Ted Graham would plead guilty to criminal charges. The monsignors, bishops, and archbishops were beginning to understand that there was no way out in the Ted
Graham case, and they wanted to get a sense from Andrew about how much he had in mind. They hadn’t agreed to anything yet, but it was the first sign of movement from the church, and they wanted to put it behind them. And they had all the other victims to negotiate with now, too.

  “I think you should be there,” Andrew said quietly as Ginny looked at him with panic in her eyes.

  “I can’t…I’m leaving before that. I don’t know where yet, but I agreed to go on October first. How can I be at the meeting?”

  “I don’t know. And if you can’t, you can’t.” He looked disappointed but understanding. “It would be much more effective if you could speak on his behalf. And your testimony will carry more weight than a parent’s would, because you came into his life recently and can still be somewhat objective. If you can’t be there, I’ll handle it, but if there’s any chance you can, I think you should.” He had never pressed her before, and what he said was important to her, but she couldn’t delay her departure date again. She had an obligation to SOS, too.

  That night she lay in bed feeling sick, thinking about the hearing that Andrew wanted her to attend in October. She just didn’t see how she could do it.

  Two days later, Ellen called and told her that SOS/HR had her assignment. They were sending her to a different part of India than they had suggested to her before. It would be a little bit more rugged. She’d be working in a large refugee camp in Tamil Nadu, in southeast India. And they wanted her to leave in ten days, at the beginning of October, just as she had promised in September.

  She thought about it incessantly for three days, torturing herself about it, and she finally went to the office to talk to Ellen in person. There was always something now, and all of it associated with Blue, but she loved having him in her life. She didn’t know what to do, but she didn’t feel she could leave before the meeting at the archdiocese in October. She didn’t want to hurt Blue’s case against Father Teddy, and Andrew thought it would if she was away. She had called to discuss it with him again, and he’d been candid with her. He said he needed her there, if she could do it.

  She sat down across from Ellen with a sigh.

  “You look harried,” Ellen said to her, handing her the packet of information she needed to read before her assignment.

  “It’s incredible how stressful it can be to be at home. It’s a lot simpler just worrying about dysentery and snipers.”

  Ellen laughed at what she said. Sometimes she felt that way, too. She had been a field-worker for years like Ginny and still missed it. But she’d had some health issues, from years of getting diseases on her assignments and poor medical care, and had finally decided it was time to work in the office, not the field. She felt that Ginny was still years away from making that decision.

  “Excited to be leaving again?” she asked her with a warm smile, and Ginny almost burst into tears. She wasn’t excited, she was wracked with indecision. But in her heart of hearts, she knew she had no choice. She needed to stay with Blue. He would never have said it to her, but she knew how much it would mean to him, and maybe it was a sacrifice she had to make.

  “I don’t even know how to say this to you, Ellen, but I think I have to stay home till the end of the year. I don’t want to screw up my job, and I love what I do, but I’ve become the guardian of a fourteen-year-old boy. We’re involved in a lawsuit, and there are criminal proceedings where he’s a victim. He just started a new school. And I think I need to stick around.” She looked unhappy as she said it.

  Ellen looked shocked. She could see how torn Ginny was, and she was one of their best workers—they didn’t want to lose her from the field. It would be an enormous loss to them. “I’m so sorry, Ginny. Is there anything I can do?” She was a compassionate woman, and would like to help if she could.

  “Yes, baby-sit him while I go.” She hadn’t been home for this long for three and a half years, and at times it felt strange. But leaving Blue for three months and coming back after Christmas would have been infinitely worse.

  “Do you think you’ll give up fieldwork?” Ellen asked her, looking worried.

  “I hope not. I honestly don’t know. I have to see how it goes—everything is still so new. And I’m trying to get adjusted to having a teenage boy.”

  “Are you planning to adopt him?” It was a reasonable question, given what she’d said.

  “I don’t know,” Ginny said thoughtfully. “I’m already becoming his legal guardian, and I’m not sure we need more. But the one thing he doesn’t need, and that I don’t want to do to him right now, is me leaving for three months when so much is happening in our lives.” And getting herself killed on an assignment would be disastrous for him. She had thought of that, too, although she didn’t say it to Ellen. She wasn’t ready to quit SOS/HR, she just wanted time off while she tried to figure it all out, and she was sure that by the end of the year she would. “Can you put me on leave until the end of the year?” Ginny asked her, looking anxious.

  “I can,” Ellen said fairly, “if you really think that’s what you have to do.” Ellen gazed at her with unhappy eyes, afraid that she’d never go back. Ginny was afraid of that, too. She thanked her for her understanding, signed a form for the leave of absence, and left the information packet for India on Ellen’s desk. Then she went home to wait for Blue to come home from school. She sat in her living room feeling like someone had died. She didn’t feel liberated or relieved to be staying home. All she felt was that she had done the right thing, for Blue. She wasn’t at all sure if it was right for her, and she knew she’d miss the work she’d been doing until now.

  The phone rang while she was sitting there thinking about it. It was Andrew, and he picked up on the tone of her voice immediately. “You don’t sound like a happy camper,” Andrew said to her. “Is something wrong?”

  “I’m not sure,” she said honestly. She didn’t feel great about it, even if it was the correct thing to do. “I just extended my leave of absence until the end of the year. I didn’t feel right leaving Blue. But I’m not ready to give up human rights work, either. I already miss it. All I do is go to the grocery store, and play cards with Blue. I need more in my life than that,” she said miserably. “And I also didn’t want to be gone for your meeting with the archdiocese next month.” She wanted to be in two places at once and knew she couldn’t.

  “Why don’t you go easy on yourself for a while? Maybe it’ll do you good to stay home for a few months. All the sorrows of the world and broken people will still be out there in January, and then you can go back. Maybe you can do shorter assignments or troubleshoot for them, instead of going for three months at a time.” It wasn’t a bad idea, and she hadn’t thought of troubleshooting before. It cheered her up as he went on. “I know Blue will be happy, and so am I,” he said, sounding elated. “How about having dinner with me next week to celebrate your being here?” It was sweet of him to ask, although it seemed a little strange to her. She liked and admired him, but he was Blue’s lawyer, not her friend. And she was sure he felt that way, too.

  “To talk about the case?” she asked him.

  “No,” he said calmly and clearly, with a smile she couldn’t see. “Because I like you. I think you’re a fantastic person, and I just remembered I’m not a priest anymore. Is that okay with you?”

  She thought about it for a long moment, and then nodded, smiling, too. “Yes, it is.”

  “I have good news for you, too. They had an opening in the family court calendar next week. They’re doing the guardianship hearing. I’ll need you and Blue for that, and Charlene if she’s willing.” It was fantastic news.

  “Why don’t we schedule our dinner after that, so we’ll have something to celebrate?”

  “With Blue?”

  “No, just the two of us,” he said firmly.

  And when she told Blue that night that she was staying till January, and would be home for Christmas, he gave a scream you could have heard all the way to Central Park. Her decision to stay with him and
not go to India for three months had now been met with warm approval by her fans, and she was pleased. Suddenly her decision to stay home made sense, which felt good to her. She knew it was what she was meant to do.

  The guardianship hearing was as easy as Andrew had said it would be. The judge was sympathetic to Blue and knew about the impending criminal case. He was deeply respectful of Ginny’s human rights work, and everything she had done for Blue. And Charlene showed up. It was the first time she and Blue had seen each other in a year, and it was bittersweet when she saw him. But she hadn’t been there for him, and Ginny was, despite her traveling for work. She had already changed his life immeasurably, and the judge had no problem awarding her guardianship. Andrew and Ginny took Blue to lunch afterward, but Charlene said she had things to do and scurried away as soon as they left the courtroom.

  So Ginny was officially Blue’s legal guardian. It was a big step for both of them, and a commitment to each other. If she had gone to India, she wouldn’t have been there for the hearing, so her instinct to stay had been the right one. There was a kind of magic to it, the things that had happened, the people who had come into her life, the school he was going to, Ted Graham being brought to trial. The hand of destiny had touched them all, and all because of Blue.

  Chapter 18

  The meeting at the archdiocese in October was frustrating and confusing. She went with Andrew, and he lost his temper several times. He and Monsignor Cavaretti locked horns repeatedly, veiled threats were tossed around like tennis balls, and some of them were not so veiled. There were six monsignors in the room this time, and a bishop at one point, and Andrew was alternately diplomatic and returned their threats in kind. The monsignors present flip-flopped between hinting at a settlement, and saying it was out of the question—mostly to check Andrew’s reaction, Ginny suspected. Andrew knew they were testing the waters, to see what he wanted for his client, but they were impossible to deal with. And in spite of the fact that seventeen men and boys had given the police statements about Father Teddy’s sexual abuse when they were minors in vivid terms, the priests were still implying that he was innocent and the boys were lying.