All We Know Is Falling: Fall With Me: Volume One

by Nicole Thorn

  I looked at her from the bed. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “You didn’t come out. We’ve been waiting for you for a while. Come on,” she waved me out the door.

  As we walked I said, “Who’s we?” After the words got out I saw Hale sitting at one of the bar stools at the counter. He’d been talking to my sister and Brom Bones was on his lap, purring like a motor.

  “You whore,” I crossed my arms and glared at the cat.

  “Well I guess I can’t argue with you on that,” Hale sighed. “I’m a weak man.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I was talking to the cat. But that’s nice to know.”

  “Oh, Lamb, do my past transgressions bother you?”

  Hadley laughed, “She’s just jealous of all the girls you did screw. Fear not, sweetie,” she said to me. “You’ll lose that pesky V-card one day. It might be a hundred years from now, but it’ll happen.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her. “Mom, can you ground her please?” Hadley and I got into a staring contest and she started making rude gestures at me.

  Hale said, “Does your mother ground her own sister often?”

  We all froze. It was too easy to forget this new lie we were supposed to be going with.

  “Only on special occasions, love,” Mom saved us all.

  I locked eyes with Brom Bones and I knew the look he had. I knew what he was going to do. I dropped to the floor a quarter of a second before he went flying through the air. His head hit the wall and the fright sent him running upstairs.

  “Did you see your life flash before your eyes?” Hadley said as her laughing fit started.

  “I told you we shouldn’t have gotten a cat!” I stood up and dusted my dress off.

  “HE WAS CUTE!” Hadley yelled back.

  “You can’t just bring home something because it’s cute,” I argued.

  “You did,” she pointed to Hale and he stared laughing. “So why can’t I?”

  “I didn’t bring Hale home. He just keeps showing up,” I put a hand on my hip.

  Hale stood and walked to me. “And how sad you would be if I stopped showing up.”

  I didn’t respond to that. “When are we leaving?”

  “Now if you’re ready,” he said.

  I told him I needed my purse and he followed me to my room. Hale stood in the hall while I got my bag. When I met up with him he pointed to a picture of my family and said, “Who’s the man?”

  Uh oh. This would be interesting to explain. He seems to have accepted that my Irish mother has a Korean sister, but there wasn’t much I could do with the fact that my dad was African American and so much older than my mom. “He’s my dad.”

  Hale looked at me and I didn’t make him ask more. “He’s not my biological father. But he’s been my dad as long as I can remember.”

  “How long were they together?”

  “A long time.” She met him when he was eighteen and had been together ever since.

  “Wait, your mother had you, then Walter?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How old is he?”

  “Fifteen.”

  He looked confused. “Then at best they’ve been together for about thirteen or fourteen years. Do you not remember when you were four?”

  I shook my head and he eyed me like he knew I was a liar. So I said, “Don’t ask questions please.”

  His face changed. “Oh. I understand.” He held me by the waist and walked us out to the car.

  We went to a restaurant a few miles away for lunch. There was nothing special about the place and I was grateful for that. It wasn’t fancy or too busy. It was normal.

  He sat across from me in the booth and we looked at the menus. The choice was easy and I just went with a burger.

  “Rory,” Hale said, causing me to look up. “You look lovely today. I just wanted to tell you that.”

  “Thank you,” I smiled.

  “Seven.”

  I sighed. “What are you counting? You keep doing that and if I don’t know I’m going to go crazy.”

  He laid his hands on the table. “I suppose given the circumstances of the day, I can tell you. But you’re not allowed to laugh.”

  “I won’t.”

  He was hesitant but he told me. “I’m keeping track of how often I make you smile at me.”

  I hoped the look on my face wasn’t a stupid one, but I was stunned with…something. It had to be the sweetest thing he’s ever done with me. And I really didn’t know what to say to that. But I knew what I wanted to do.

  I got up out of my seat and Hale looked like he thought I was going to leave. But instead I slid into the seat next to him.

  He looked down at me with a soft expression. “Why did you do that?”

  “I wanted to sit next to you.”

  He held his hand out and pretended to take notes. “Responds well to cheesy signs of affection.” I shoved at him and he smiled.

  “Heeeeeeeey, kiddos,” a man said as he approached us. He looked like he was supposed to be our waiter, but if it wasn’t for the name tag that said Keith I wouldn’t have guessed. His brown hair was tied back in a ponytail but the frosted tips were still visible. He had huge muttonchops and the words thickest mustache to go with it. His tongue kept going to it as he licked his upper lip. “Wh-wh-what’ll it be?” he held out an upside down notebook.

  I looked at Hale with wide eyes as I but my lip and tried not to laugh. “Please order for me.”

  He held my face to his chest so Keith wouldn’t see me laugh at him. “Sorry, my girlfriend is very upset. Her turtle just died.”

  “Oh,” Keith said in a shaky voice. “I-I’m so sooory,” he cried. “I love turtles.” I turned in time to see him pull out a flask and take a swig. I put my face back to Hale when the giggles came back.

  “Thank you. Thank you so much, sir.”

  “No-no problem. What c-can I getcha?”

  Hale gave the order and the man started walking away.

  Hale rubbed my back. “It’s okay, my darling. Snappy is in a better place. He’s with Snipper and Tubs.”

  When I pulled back from him my eyes were pouring tears as I laughed so hard I didn’t make noise. I rested my arms and head on the table until I calmed down. Hale was smiling wide but he managed to control his laughter.

  “The mustache…” I breathed while I dried my eyes.

  “Personally I like the ponytail. But maybe I should try the mustache,” he rubbed his face.

  “Oh, no way. You’re too cute for a mustache. It would look awful.”

  Hale caught what I said before even I did. “Cute? Why, Rory Flynn…you’ve mistakenly let me know you find me attractive. And here I was thinking you thought I was a dog. Goodness me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Let’s not play dumb here. You know you’re hot. Why the Hell do you think those girls at school followed you like you were made of chocolate?”

  “Hot,” he grinned. “Now I’m hot?”

  “Jesus…” I shook my head. “You are ridiculous.”

  “No need to be embarrassed. I have no problem admitting to you that I find you to be incredibly attractive. Inhumanly. Divine, really.”

  I scoffed. “There is nothing divine about me.”

  “Wrong again. You are as close to perfection as a human could get. More so. My very heart beats your name and yours alone,” he put his hand on his chest.

  I laughed. “Does that line work on the girls where you’re from?”

  “Wouldn’t know. I’ve never said it before. I don’t typically need to try very hard to get a girl.”

  “Wow. Your past girlfriends sound so lucky.”

  “Never had one,” he said casually.

  My eyebrows knit together. “But you said there were girls. Lots of girls,” I almost cringed at my own words.

  He looked away from me. “You don’t have to be with someone to be…with someone.”

  “Oh.” Why did that make me feel so bad? Icky on the inside. The idea of how many girls he’
s been with left me feeling a little sick.

  “Yeah, I know,” he said. “I don’t feel proud of myself for who I used to be. But at the time I did anything I could to distract myself.”

  I wanted to know what he was distracting himself from. I’ve heard him and Ethan speak vaguely about their past. All I was sure of was that there was pain for both of them. I was just waiting for Hale to trust me enough to tell me about it.

  The food came and we talked while we ate. He decided that we should see a movie before dinner and we were just talking about what we would see.

  “Why should we see something scary?” I asked.

  “Obviously so that you’ll get scared and cuddle up to me.”

  I scoffed. “I don’t scare easy. And even if I was scared, I don’t think I’d grab on to you for comfort.”

  “Only one way to find out.”

  My eyebrow went up. “I don’t think so.”

  “Clearly you know I’m right and just don’t want to be proven wrong.”

  “You think you can trick me into it?”

  “No. I’m just pointing out that I’m right and you’re wrong.”

  “I’m not. And I’ve woken up with you in my bed almost every day this week. Why are you so desperate for me to cuddle up to you?”

  He looked at me like I was crazy. “First, it’s not the same if I’m the one initiating as opposed to you seeking comfort in me. And second, I’d be pleased if you were attached to my hip at all times. You, little Lamb, are the one here holding strongly onto some kind of silly idea of being alone.”

  “It’s not silly. You just don’t understand it.”

  “Then help me to understand it.”

  I responded the only way I could. “Don’t ask questions.”

  He pressed his lips to the side of my head. “Fine. One day I’ll know why. I’m just hoping it’s after you’ve decided that it no longer matters anymore. Maybe on our child’s first birthday.”

  I didn’t get annoyed or angry. I was just sad. Sad about the things I wouldn’t get to do. I could never have a child, knowing it would be mortal. Watching a husband die isn’t anything like watching a child die. Both would kill me in the end. But not quick enough.

  

  After the movie Hale decided to tease me on the car ride back to his house.

  “Ya know what!” I said, hostile. “If a zombie popped out at you then I bet you’d react the same as I did!”

  He laughed at me. “Don’t get me wrong, I love your reaction. You spent most of the movie practically on my lap with your head at my chest.”

  I shook my head. “Men…all of you so scheming.”

  “Can’t say you’re entirely wrong.”

  We pulled up to his house and he shut the truck off. He got out and while I was undoing my seatbelt, he opened my door for me. Normally that would have annoyed me. I don’t like when people do things for me. I always felt guilty.

  Now I just felt nervous. I was meeting strangers and I didn’t do well with people I actually knew. People I didn’t…well I’ll just leave it at, this should be interesting.

  We walked into the house together and Ethan was sitting in the living room with a book in his hands.

  “Ethan,” Hale said.

  The boy looked up and I almost didn’t recognize him. There was color in his face and he didn’t look nearly as sick. And he was smiling.

  He stood and walked over to us. He spoke to me, “Rory,” he nodded. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. You?”

  “Better. I’m clean and trying to stay that way. Really trying.”

  I hugged him. “I’m sure you’ll do amazing, Ethan.”

  “Thank you,” he said when I moved back. “And I’m sorry for what I said to you before. I wasn’t in my right mind.”

  “It’s okay. I knew that at the time. Just be a good boy now, huh?” I patted his arm and he smiled.

  “Sure. I can still have fun without a chemical helper. Thankfully I’m just as good looking as I was before. Let the flood of girls commence.”

  I snorted. “Wow. Good luck to you.”

  “Don’t need it. Like my brother before me, I know how to get the girl.”

  Hale eyed him. “Thanks…maybe if you keep talking you can scare her away from me.”

  I rubbed Hale’s back. “Calm down, sweetie. We’re not actually together.”

  Ethan laughed and went back to the couch and his book. Two other people walked into the room then. A man and a woman I assumed were Mason and Mollie.

  Mason had the strong family resemblance that the boys had. His hair was the same color as Ethan’s but a little longer. It fell in his face a little and he kept pushing it back. His blue eyes matched Ethan’s too. He was shorter than Hale by a few inches but he looked several years older than him, placing him in his mid-twenties.

  His wife, Mollie was much shorter. She was about an inch taller than me and she had long dark brown hair offsetting her emerald colored eyes. She looked of Spanish descent and her skin was milky white. She was stunning to say the least.

  “Hello,” Mason said to me as they approached. “I’m Mason and this is my wife, Mollie.” He shook my hand and Mollie gave me a hug.

  “Thank you so much for your help with Ethan,” she said. “Hale told us how much you did for us. I’m so grateful to you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’m just glad that everything worked out.”

  She looked back to Ethan who was buried in his book. “I think it did.”

  Hale and I helped Mollie with dinner while Ethan and Mason set the table. I wasn’t much of a cook but I could follow instructions just fine. We made dinner without me ruining anything and Hale volunteered to do the dishes. He wouldn’t let me help but I stayed in the kitchen with him while he worked.

  The more the night went on, the more worried I became. They were all so nice and loving. I liked them. But I wasn’t supposed to get attached to mortals. I was in a room full of people I really liked and that would be nothing but dust one day.

  And the thought hurt.

  Thinking about that with Hale hurt most of all. He was my only friend. My best friend and my favorite person. Somehow…it happened when I wasn’t looking. And now I was stuck with the reality of losing him one day. The more time we spent together, the more attached I would get. And when I lose him, whether it be because he leaves for school or one of the million other reasons he could leave, or because of his death, I knew what it would do to me. I was too far gone for it to not shred me from the inside out.

  When I looked at him I saw a ticking clock and all I want to do is rip out the batteries and stop it. I want him to last forever, like I will. And it won’t ever happen.

  “Something wrong?” Hale asked me and I realized I must have been staring.

  “I’m fine,” I lied. I couldn’t tell him that I was shaking internally at the thought of just how human he was. How breakable and easy to lose. Not easy…inevitable.

  “You don’t look fine.”

  I caught him off guard when I wrapped my arms around his neck. I had to get on my tiptoes to reach him. I wanted to forget that I wasn’t human. That I wouldn’t age. I wanted to pretend that I could be normal. That I could get married and have a family. That I wouldn’t spend a lifetime watching myself lose people. I wanted one night of peace from this life. “I’m just really glad we met.” No matter how badly this would end.

  Chapter Thirteen: Hurting As One

  The rest of the weekend passed uneventfully. I spent some time with my mom and sister and fielded more texts from Hale. It was mostly more nonsense. Something funny every once in a while and more about what parts of me he wanted to put his lips on. The boy didn’t know the meaning of ‘just friends’.

  When I got up on Monday I sleepily got ready for school. Hale wasn’t there but he texted me saying he would be soon. When I got out of the shower, he was already in my room.

  “Finally,” he sighed while he ate a Poptart in my bed. “I
thought you’d never come out.’

  I grumbled and went to my closet. I forgot to pick out something new to wear before I showered. So I was still in my jammies.

  I riffled through my clothes and couldn’t find a thing I wanted to put on.

  “I think what you have on is fine,” Hale said as he approached.

  I looked up at him. “Ha…ha…ha…”

  “Alright then,” he handed me his Poptart and started going through my closet, “I’ll find you something to wear.”

  I started eating the Poptart while he pulled out my shortest dresses to pick from.

  “I like you in blue,” he said while he was rejecting a black dress. I almost snickered. I bet he’d just love my wings. Light blue, matching my eyes.

  He settled on a medium blue dress that only dropped to the middle of my thighs. “There you go.”

  I took it from him. “A little skimpy for school. Don’t you think?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t mind getting to look at your legs all day,” he glanced down at me. I was a mess. My hair was up in a messy bun and I was still half asleep. But he was looking at me the same as he did when I was wearing a mini skirt or a dress. Like it was all the same to him and he liked it all.

  “Fine,” I yawned. “You win this round, Harry Potter.”

  When I started walking to the bathroom he said, “That’s racist. And don’t you think if I knew magic I’d be using it on you?”

  “To what?” I stopped at the door.

  “Obviously to make myself irresistible to you. I certainly wouldn’t mind one of these days if you’d just go ahead and shove me down, crawl onto my lap and—”

  I held my hand up, “I get it. And it’s not happening. Ever.” I closed the door most of the way so we could still hear each other. I fixed my hair and put it in a ponytail.

  I walked back out of the bathroom and tossed my old clothes on my bed. When I looked up, Hale was staring at me.

  “What?” I checked myself over. “Is something wrong?”

  “No,” he shook his head. “You just look beautiful. You throw me off on occasion.”

  I blushed against my will. “Thanks. Normally I wear my boots with this dress. But someone stole them.”