Looks Unimportant...Sense of Humour Essential

by Evie Evans

  “No,” she agreed sympathetically. She could understand what he was saying from her experience in London. “This will be an official letter from your solicitor though. I’ll warn them a notice from the council will follow if they don’t comply. We’ll explain you’re not trying to force them to get rid of the parrot,” Mr Lewis pulled a face indicating that’s just what he’d like his neighbours to do, “just to take measures to lower the noise level. In a lot of cases this is enough to make people see sense. And if not a letter from the council usually does.”

  She was glad to see Mr Lewis brightened a little at this.

  *

  Two days later it was time to meet Simon for their third date at the bakery. Their third date! Lucy couldn’t believe she’d gotten this far. At the beginning it had all seemed so hopeless with the unsuitable men that had replied to her profile, the terrible date with Mr Brooke, the terrible date with Tony and the narrow escape from perverts in between. Now she was getting ready for her third date with someone! And he was a normal human being.

  As part of a plan Lucy had put on a pretty blouse for this date, hoping if she looked a little more feminine it might help matters. She wasn’t used to this dating malarkey let alone using warfare tactics but she knew this date was critical. If it went well there may be lip-lockage and she could try asking him to accompany her to the wedding. If it didn’t go well it could be complete disaster and she’d be going to the wedding on her own. Then it really would be war.

  Things got off to a good start. Simon was sitting closer to her this time in their booth. She smiled and leaned in, hanging off his every word as if he was the only person in the room. She’d seen girls at parties do that and it seemed to work for them. It was looking good because he was staring at her mouth as if he was thinking about kissing her.

  Lucy’s heart started thumping as he moved closer. Was this it? He may not be the handsomest man she’d ever seen but he was here and he was interested in her. There hadn’t been too much of that lately.

  He put his arm along the back of the booth. A frisson of excitement passed through her, he was definitely making a move. Lucy saw a smile playing on his lips and shyly responded. A booth in a bakery wasn’t the best place for a public display of affection but at that moment she didn’t care. His face came closer, it looked like he was going to kiss her.

  A frantic buzzing suddenly went off making them both freeze.

  “My mobile,” he admitted and pulled it out of his pocket. “Sorry I’ll turn it off.” As he did so a server came to ask if they wanted refills. Embarrassed, Lucy agreed only to regret it after as they had to wait for him to return with her coffee. Had their moment passed?

  Eventually, with drink refreshed, Simon edged nearer again and his arm snaked round her. Lucy moved in closer, hardly able to breathe at the thought of what might happen next. He was gently pulling her towards him. His lips touched hers. Lucy automatically closed her eyes and went with it, hoping it wasn’t going to go too far in the middle of a cafe. She was just relaxing into it thinking how wonderful things were working out when a female voice interrupted them.

  “Mr Townsend, Mr Townsend. Adrian!

  Simon pulled away and Lucy saw a middle aged woman standing anxiously in front of them. Instead of telling her she’d gotten the wrong person Simon snapped back at her.

  “Julie. What are you doing here! Have you followed me?”

  “You wrote it on your calendar. It’s an emergency,” she told him, practically wringing her hands. “I tried to ring you. Head office are on their way.”

  “What? What are you talking about?” Simon asked, sitting up and removing his arm from around Lucy’s shoulders, a bit roughly for her liking.

  “The big cheese is on his way down, his secretary just called. He’s on his way with the area manager. They want to do an inventory.”

  “Shit! Those phones out back…” Lucy didn’t hear the rest because Simon was already heading for the door by this point.

  Julie paused by the table. “I’m sorry Mrs Townsend to have interrupted you.”

  Mrs Townsend?

  12 Unexpected outing

  “I’m not Mrs Townsend…” Lucy told her, causing Julie to look really embarrassed.

  “Sorry,” the woman cried and ran out to join her boss.

  Lucy sat there a little while trying to take in what had just happened. Maybe Mr Brooke was right, perhaps she was naïve. She’d certainly been pretty gullible to be taken in by this guy’s story. It didn’t bode well for her lawyering ability that she could be duped so easily.

  She’d been counting on Simon to be her date for the wedding. That was all over now. More than that, she’d even started to think something might work out between them, more than just a date, something longer term. Pity he turned out to be a complete liar. Could have been worse, she reminded herself as she walked slowly back to the office, at least she only got as far as kissing the rat.

  That was definitely the end of the online dating, she was giving up on the whole thing now. With less than two weeks to go to the wedding there was no way she’d ever get a date in time anyway. All this effort, the trauma and crappy dates she’d put herself through, and it had all been for nothing. No amount of chocolate cake was going to smooth that over.

  A case in court had Katherine rushing in and out of the office so Lucy was left alone with her thoughts. She threw herself into preparing her paperwork for Winston’s hearing at the end of the week. She’d seen cases dismissed in court because the lawyer didn’t present the right papers and that wasn’t going to happen to her.

  Despite telling herself she wasn’t going to lose any sleep over a lying creep like Simon she didn’t sleep well that night. Perhaps it was just the men in London. Both Simon, or whatever his name was, and Mr Brooke had this terrible attitude to women. It was like they thought women were just there to be used by them. Maybe she needed to get out of this city.

  It was difficult concentrating in the office the next day. Not only was her mind still reeling but people kept rushing up and down the corridors. It was the day of the opera event and the office was in turmoil arranging to entertain their elite. Lucy had to work hard to focus on her work but she did because it was the best way to take her mind off things.

  She was going home to visit her dad that weekend but even that treat couldn’t lift her out of the doldrums. Watching the senior partners running around barking orders gave her some amusement but it was a long, drawn out day and once the clock hit five-thirty she gratefully started packing up to go home. She was just filing away some papers when her phone rang. Hoping it wasn’t going to be a long and involved conversation she picked up.

  “It’s Katherine.”

  “Hi, how–“

  “Sorry, I’m in a rush. My case is running over. I’ve asked for a continuation but the judge won’t do it. Can you believe it, quarter to six and he wants to finish it today? We could be here all night! Anyway, I’m not going to make it to this opera thing with Mr Brooke. A car’s meant to be picking me up at the office at 7pm. There’s no way I’m going to make it. You’ll have to go.”

  Lucy’s head snapped back with a jolt. “What? No I can’t.”

  “You’ll have to. They’ll be hell to pay if one of us doesn’t and I’m stuck in court.”

  Lucy wondered if Katherine had bribed the judge to do this. “Don’t you dare do this to me!” she practically shouted at her, not caring that Katherine was a partner. “I don’t have a dress or anything. I’ll never get home and back in time to change,” she pointed out looking at the clock, “not that I have anything suitable to wear anyway. I can’t go dressed as I am. Besides I don’t want to go!”

  “My dress is in my office, I was going to change there before the car picked me up. Why don’t you try it?”

  “We’re not the same size!” wailed Lucy. Katherine was taller than her and skinnier.

  “Give it a try, otherwise, I don’t know, just go as you are. I’ve got to get back, go
od luck.”

  Lucy put the phone down in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. She couldn’t cope with spending an evening with Mr Brooke after the terrible week she was having. She dialled Mr Knowles number but it rang and rang. She fished out his mobile phone details and dialled that. Surely he would see reason?

  “Hello?” he finally answered.

  “Hi, it’s Lucy,” she cut in barely waiting for him to finish. “Katherine just rang, she’s held up in court, she’s not going to make it tonight–”

  “Oh hell, that’s all I need, one more thing to go wrong. We really need someone who’s been working with him there…”

  Lucy held her breath, please don’t let him say what I think he’s about to say.

  “…I suppose you’ll have to come along Lucy.”

  “Mr Knowles, I don’t have a dress or anything, I don’t think I will be suitable.” They were the strongest words she could use before it became a career limiting move.

  “Well, you’ll have to do. See you there.” With that ringing endorsement he hung up.

  Lucy contemplated for a few minutes what the consequences of her not turning up would be then started walking to Katherine’s office. Not going really wasn’t an option.

  The dress bag was draped over a chair. In the ladies bathroom she had trouble squeezing the dress over her hips. She and Katherine were definitely not the same size. She got it up as far as her waist and tried to ease it over her chest. Being strapless meant it didn’t matter she wasn’t as tall as Katherine but on the other hand there wasn’t anything to support her substantial bosom. She squeezed herself into it but only just. There was a lot of flesh on show, more than she’d ever shown before. It was a bit ‘Nell Gwyn’ her dad would have said. The dress was so tight she had to wiggle rather than walk in it but if she didn’t make any sudden movements she might be okay. Not the most comfortable thing she’d ever worn but it was better than turning up in an office suit.

  She combed through her bob and applied a bit of eyeliner and lipstick. That was all she carried with her. Her court shoes had to go back on. Not very glamorous but Katherine’s were a size and a half too big. What about a bag? She couldn’t take her briefcase. A quick scout round Katherine’s office didn’t reveal any cute little clutch, not even a hulking great Kelly bag. Who knows what she planned on taking? It would have to be nothing then. She folded up a couple of banknotes and shoved them under her foot in her shoe then took her flat key off her keyring and put it in her other shoe. It wouldn’t be very comfortable but that seemed to be a theme for the evening.

  Scented hand wipes doubled for perfume. Freshening herself with these she realised she was done. There was nothing more she could do. The other women there would probably have had the works – fancy updo, full makeup, jewellery, but she didn’t think the result was that bad. She just had to focus on keeping her bosom inside the dress, or at least not taking someone’s eye out.

  After warning reception the car for Katherine was now picking her up instead she had a few minutes to wait. Butterflies were forming in her stomach, how would the evening go? Would she get through it without arguing with Mr Brooke? She was worried she’d struggle to find things to talk about with him. With any luck he’d spend the evening chatting up the waitresses.

  In no time at all reception rang through, the car was here. Her departure unfortunately co-incided with hometime for a few people so the ride down in the elevator was a little uncomfortable, her attire drawing a lot of unwanted attention. She started to feel a little naked with the low-cut dress and no bag to hold onto for security. Scrambling quickly for the car outside she opened the backdoor and, forgetting about the dress, bent over to climb in.

  “Wow!” came a voice from inside.

  Looking up she saw she’d just given Leander Brooke a full view of her cleavage. Blushing she quickly climbed in and sat down.

  “Jackpot,” he said as she made sure the dress was in place. The car moved off.

  She looked at him, mortified.

  “I thought Katherine was coming?”

  “She got held up on a court case. I’m a last minute replacement.”

  “What a replacement!” he commented looking at her cleavage. Just the reason why she never wore this kind of outfit usually. She hated it when men talked to her breasts.

  “I’m up here,” she told him.

  “Sorry,” he apologised tearing his eyes away. “I was just a bit distracted.”

  The dress was a mistake, she should’ve worn the suit. It was probably too late to go back now. She looked out the back window to see how far they’d come.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Just trying to see if it’s too late to go back.”

  “Look, I’m sorry. But if you will wear a dress like that…”

  “It’s not my dress, its Katherine’s. I didn’t have time to go home and get something of mine.” Pretty lucky too as her outfit for the wedding was the best she could do and she didn’t want to risk spoiling that before the big day. “That’s why it doesn’t fit properly,” she explained pulling the top of it up, not realising this only made her bosom jiggle around more, drawing further attention to it.

  He grabbed her arm. “I don’t think you should do that, you’re making it worse.”

  Lucy began to feel like she could cry. “I’ve got my suit back at the office. I could go back and put that on?”

  “The dress is fine. When the lights go down no one will see anyway.”

  The thought of sitting alone in the dark with a wolf like Leander Brooke made her feel nervous, Lucy could see now why Katherine’s husband had been worried. She gave him an uneasy smile.

  She was surprised when she got out of the car that some of the opera goers were more casually dressed. Perhaps she would have gotten away with her suit after all instead of this stupid dress? Their progress to the box was delayed as Mr Brooke stopped to greet people, many of them women Lucy wasn’t surprised to note. She wondered if she’d have to interview any of these for an alibi for him if the case carried on. The women all seemed to eye her and her cleavage quite coldly.

  It was a relief when they reached the law firm’s box and there were a few faces she recognised. Not to speak to naturally, they were all partners or senior partners, way above her, but they took Mr Brooke off her hands for a while. Dress was a lot more formal here but at least champagne was being served. Despite not being much of a drinker, she’d never felt more in need of a drink in her life. Before she knew it she was on her second glass.

  The inside of the opera house was opulent and elaborate. Looking down Lucy could see the orchestra pit and the rich red velvet curtains. Looking up was amazing gilt arches, bright golden lights and the ornate ceiling. Apart from the electric lights, it hardly looked as if it had changed from Victorian times.

  “Do you like the opera?” A voice beside her asked. It was Mr Brooke, back again.

  “I don’t know, I’ve never been before,” she told him honestly.

  He leaned in a bit closer than she would have liked and whispered conspiratorially: “You haven’t missed much.”

  “Why did you come then?”

  “There are some people I’m hoping to do business with here.”

  Looking at him in his tuxedo with his hair swept back Lucy was suddenly reminded a little of James Bond. It was the rugged good looks and air of suave confidence about him. She sat back to put a little more distance between the two of them.

  Instead of going to find his business contacts Mr Brooke settled back in his seat as well. “What do you do then?” he asked. “When you’re not at work. You don’t have time to meet men you told me. You can’t be working all the time.”

  Good question, she thought. Without a good answer. “Umm.” A waiter was hovering so she got a refill as she thought how to reply, this was going to be a long evening.

  “What are you up to this weekend for example?” he persisted.

  “This weekend? I’m going home, back
to my dad’s I mean.”

  The waiter came buzzing round with food this time but Lucy decided she couldn’t fit that and herself into the dress.

  “You’re not on a diet?” Mr Brooke queried as she politely refused the plates offered.

  “Yes, a stay in this dress diet.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I don’t know, I think that could be very entertaining. I’m hoping you’ll fall out of it at least once tonight.” He gave her a smile and she was again conscious of how close he was. She leaned back a little further. The waiter left but seemed to give her a leer as he went. What was it about some men and cleavage?

  “So is it a family reunion this weekend?”

  “There’s just me and my dad now. My mum died a long time ago and I don’t have any brothers or sisters.”

  Mr Brooke looked a little more serious. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. My mum died when I was ten so I don’t really remember much about it. It was a good childhood anyway, my dad and I are really close. I guess we had to be with it only being the two of us.”

  “You don’t have any other family?”

  Lucy took another swig of wine not realising the effect it was having on her empty stomach. “Yes, my Uncle Frank, my dad’s brother. He’s great. I have an aunt and an uncle from my mum’s side as well and some cousins.” She hesitated studying her wine glass. “We’re not close.”

  “They don’t live very near?”

  “Oh yes.”

  Mr Brooke was waiting for an explanation. “We just never got on that well with them, Dad and me. I think they tried to interfere after mum died but dad didn’t agree with them.”

  “Well I can’t exactly claim to have the world’s greatest family either,” he sympathised.

  “But you’ve got Sebastian. That must be a great consolation.”