Looks Unimportant...Sense of Humour Essential

by Evie Evans

  “We’re just looking today. You see, it’s not so frightening in here.”

  It took a few minutes for them to pass through the security check.

  “On the day of the court case we’ll wait out here until our case is called,” Lucy explained. “Then we’ll go into the court room together.” Lucy showed her into the court room and found seats for them at the back. A case was being heard.

  “We’ll sit over there,” Lucy whispered, pointing to the plaintiffs table, “and your ex-husband will be over there. Hopefully he’ll bring Winston with him.”

  “It’ll be good to see him again, it seems like ages. Will I have to go into a box or something to give evidence?”

  “No, you’ll sit next to me and the judge will ask you questions from there. It’s not as formal as a criminal court.” She was glad Mrs Williams’ case was being heard in one of the modern courthouses, not one of the Victorian style ones that still operated. The old ones had great architecture and history but they were a bit intimidating.

  “Okay. I’m still not looking forward to it but it doesn’t look as bad as I thought.”

  “Good.”

  They sat and listened to a few minutes more so Mrs Williams could get an idea of how the court worked before Lucy escorted her out again.

  “Now let’s go find a café and we’ll go over what I want you to say and what your husband might retaliate with.”

  She led a slightly calmer Mrs Williams away.

  *

  Over the next couple of days Lucy tried a number of things to cheer herself up but her gloominess wouldn’t abate. It was only once the online dating had fallen flat that she realised how much she’d been pinning on it. None of her usual pick me ups worked, chocolate cake, cupcakes, even cream puffs, couldn’t lift her mood. That was when she realised just how much she was dreading the wedding.

  Just when she thought she’d reached her lowest ebb, something happened. She finally got a message from Simon. It arrived one morning out of the blue. Simon! Perhaps her dream of a wedding date wasn’t over quite yet. Ignoring the phone ringing, Lucy quickly opened it, excited at the thought of what it might say but a little scared too. He apologised for not getting in touch sooner but work had been really busy. Hmm, he’d said that last time. Would she like to meet again tomorrow for coffee, same place and time?

  He didn’t have a fantastic excuse for not being in touch; if she hadn’t prompted him she doubted she would have heard from him again. He wasn’t exactly keen. He wasn’t giving her much notice either. Ordinarily she would have told him where to get off. But she was technically desperate. She agreed to meet him.

  Lucy had a productive morning the next day. Two will amendments drafted (one for her ever changing clients) and a congestion charge appeal filed before 2pm. Lucky these dates weren’t affecting her in the same way anymore or she wouldn’t have been able to even lift her pen. It was also a reflection on her enthusiasm for the online dating that her preparation for these dates had tailed off so considerably. From carefully selecting an outfit, applying makeup and brushing her teeth, as she had done for the first date, her sum total of preparation for this one was 40 seconds brushing her hair. And he was lucky to get that. This could be her only serious hope for a date for the wedding though she reminded herself as she neared the bakery. She took a deep breath and went in.

  He was already waiting again. He did turn up on time, she’d credit him that. He looked happy to see her.

  “Hi. Sorry I wasn’t in touch sooner,” he jumped up as soon as he saw her. “Work got a little manic,” he explained as he pulled out a chair for her. His manners were also very good, she noted. “I had to go over to Milan to sort a few things out.”

  “Right,” Lucy told him coolly. Milan. She was pretty sure they had computers there that could email someone in London.

  A server came over and she ordered coffee and a large slice of triple layer Victoria sponge cake. It was the least Simon could do for keeping her hanging.

  “I’m sorry,” he repeated after their server left, grabbing her hand and giving it a little squeeze. “I really wanted to see you again.”

  “It’s just that I thought you’d fallen off the face of the earth or something,” Lucy pointed out, not going to be quite that easily swayed.

  “No, just buried under a ton of work.”

  “You don’t look very brown for someone that’s been in Italy,” she said, suspiciously.

  Simon looked down at his pale arms. “I know, I hardly got out of the office. It’s a new model I’ve been trying to perfect. I’ve been working on it day and night but it’s almost there. When it’s finished I’ll have lots more time to spend with you. Promise.” He gave her a smile. “Now tell me everything that’s been happening with you.”

  Lucy considered what to do for a moment. He did come across very well. His hand, which was still holding hers, was warm and reassuring. Perhaps she had misjudged him?

  “Well I don’t know if you remember the rat custody case?…”

  Lucy decided she didn’t have much choice but to forgive him. There hadn’t been any more interest in her profile so if things didn’t work out with him it didn’t look good for the wedding. Besides, she liked him. He was kind, polite, supportive and interested. They didn’t just talk about him and his life. He’d remembered some things about her from the first date, not everything admittedly but some. It was great to meet a nice guy she could trust.

  Another hour and a half later and Lucy was once more rushing to get back to the office. She’d overstayed again but it had been worth it, she was feeling happier than she had for a long time. Plus they’d already arranged their next date so she wasn’t going to be left hanging again. Perhaps this online dating thing was going to work out after all and she’d actually found someone she could have a relationship with?

  *

  Adrian checked his watch after Lucy left. Their meeting had gone on a bit but he’d met enough women to know it was worth putting the effort in upfront, then you could reel them in later. Remembering the different aliases he used could be tricky at times, he’d forgotten partway through their coffee that he was calling himself Simon with this one and almost blew it. It wouldn’t do for them to find out his real name. Besides it made him feel a bit like a secret agent, pretending to be someone else.

  He’d had to think up the Milan stuff on the way over. Work had been busy, that part was true, but because his contact had come through with another shipment of dodgy phones he’d had to process, not because of any foreign trip. The only place he got to visit was Croydon when he had to report to head office. Putting the phones on the books so head office didn’t notice wasn’t easy and he’d actually forgotten about Lucy and the whole ‘simon582’ account for a while. He’d only remembered it when one of this other accounts had been blocked a few days ago. She sounded a bit keen so he thought he’d give her another go. Luckily she’d fallen for his ‘sincere’ smile. Never known to fail.

  She wasn’t bad looking, a bit naïve maybe but a very nice figure. She was a bit more upmarket than his usual sort, that was a nice change. He wasn’t sure if she was going to come across though, birds like her didn’t, would he be wasting his time? Talking to her he’d decided on the three date ploy so he deliberately hadn’t kissed her goodbye, that made them a little insecure. Then on the third date he’d go in for the kill, they were usually so grateful they’d go a lot further than they would normally.

  Was it worth going back to work? It was too easy when you were your own boss to take time off. He only had to be careful head office didn’t catch him out. Luckily they didn’t ring too often and Julie was good at deflection. He’d promised his wife he’d stop off in Selfridges on his way home to pick up some more coffee packs, it was a pain they were the only place that sold the ones for her espresso machine. There was that cute kid behind the tea counter though, she might be working today. He picked his coat up and left.

  11 Jimmy

  Lucy was much ha
ppier that weekend. Work was going well and hopefully now her personal life was catching up. Yes, the date with Tony had been a disaster but it was Simon she was really interested in. She’d made a connection with him, something she hadn’t done with a man for a long time. It made her realise what had been missing from her life lately, not just the excitement of those early dates in a new relationship, but spending time with someone who appreciated her and wasn’t her dad. Simon made her feel special. It was early days but she had a good feeling about him.

  As she was eating breakfast on Saturday morning she realised she should have arranged to meet him this weekend instead of another afternoon date next week, it would have been more exciting. Plus it would have given her something to do instead of hanging round her flat. The weather was grey and dull so sitting in the park was out. It was book reading weather.

  Mrs Franklin caught her putting her rubbish out.

  “Not out this weekend?”

  “No,” Lucy replied. “The weather’s not up to much.”

  “Nonsense. You can’t wait for the sunshine you know, you’d never get out the house at all in this country! We’re just off down the bowling green. Why don’t you come along? We’ll teach you how to bowl.”

  Lucy didn’t think she was ready for lawn bowling just yet. Maybe in another forty years time. “Oh, that’s very kind but I wouldn’t want to ruin your game.”

  “Don’t be silly. It’s not difficult.”

  “No really, I have some work to do anyway. Thanks all the same.”

  “Well don’t you be working too hard. You’ll never get a bloke sat indoors all the time. How’s the computer thing going anyway?”

  “Fine thanks. Met a nice man actually. Going out with him again on Wednesday.”

  “Good for you. Oh there’s nothing like that first kiss is there?” She tapped Lucy on the arm. “Must go, if you change your mind about the bowling we’re leaving in about ten minutes.”

  Lucy escaped back to her flat but couldn’t stop thinking about what Mrs Franklin had said. Not about the bowling, about the first kiss. She’d been on two dates with Simon and he hadn’t made any attempt to kiss her. Should she be worried?

  When Monday morning dawned it put an end to a dull weekend but she was still concerned about Simon’s lack of ardour. He didn’t seem shy. Was it because they kept meeting in the daytime? Would he try something this time round? If he didn’t, should she?

  It was only two weeks until the wedding so this date with Simon was going to be crucial. Would it be too much to spring the wedding on him now? She didn’t want to scare him off. Should she wait for the fourth date to invite him to it?

  She told herself to stop worrying about it or she would jinx the whole thing. She was in line to get a date for the wedding and with a really nice guy. You never know, she might even be calling Simon her boyfriend by the end of the week! Time to stop fretting about the wedding and get back on track with work.

  This was going to be a busy week workwise – a couple of petitions to file, Winston’s court case, and it was the opera event. Katherine had bought a new dress for it at the weekend, a deep red, strapless cocktail dress.

  “Wow, that’s fabulous, you’ll look great,” Lucy enthused as Katherine held it up for her.

  “Thanks, I wanted to see what you think. My husband’s not too impressed. I made the mistake of mentioning Leander Brooke’s name and I think he’s convinced I’ll end up…well god knows what with him. You don’t think it’s too much?”

  “No, the dress is perfect,” Lucy assured her. “I almost feel slightly envious. Almost.”

  “Well, I’d rather not be going but there we are. Mark isn’t joking either. He’s picking me up afterwards at midnight and if I’m not outside waiting he says he’s coming in to get me.”

  “Good luck with it,” Lucy told her, feeling immense relief again that she wasn’t going. “Corporate hospitality isn’t my thing at all.”

  “You’ll have to change your tune if you want to get ahead you know. It’s not enough anymore just to do a good job, nowadays you’ve got to be on call 24/7.”

  “Yep,” Lucy acknowledged. She didn’t tell Katherine but she’d already decided to try to open her own practice as soon as she had enough experience thinking, naïvely, that she wouldn’t have to schmooze anyone she didn’t want to.

  One of the secretaries knocked on Katherine’s door. “Lucy, there’s an urgent message for you.”

  Lucy grabbed the piece of paper from her. What could be so urgent? She read it through. “It’s Jimmy,” she told Katherine who was waiting to hear. “He’s been beaten up by another prisoner.”

  *

  Lucy rushed to the prison, immense guilt consuming her. She’d been so busy with the online dating she hadn’t found time to visit Jimmy in the last couple of weeks. He’d told her he was scared but she hadn’t taken it seriously. Had she let him down?

  On the phone they’d sounded surprised when she’d asked if Jimmy had been hospitalised. The secretary told her he hadn’t even needed to visit the prison’s sick wing, implying it was a fuss over nothing. Jimmy’s message had sounded serious though, she wanted to see for herself he was okay and find out what had happened.

  The security checks seemed to take even longer this morning, the guard appeared to have only one speed, extra slow. After surrendering her bag and coat she was finally shown into an interview room. Jimmy was waiting for her.

  “How are you?” she asked as she sat down. Running her eyes over him she couldn’t see any outward signs of injury.

  Jimmy held up a hand with a small plaster on it. “He got me.”

  “What happened?”

  “He threw a book at me.”

  “And?”

  “And? Paper cuts are very painful you know,” Jimmy told her indignantly.

  Lucy couldn’t believe she’d rushed here and spent thirty minutes going through security checks for a paper cut. Arms folded she gave Jimmy a long stare. “You told me you’d been beaten up. This was Ted Marshall was it? The guard outside told me about it.”

  “Yep, that’s him.”

  “Sixty four years old and helps at the prison library?”

  “He’s fit for his age.”

  “It’s hardly grievous bodily harm, is it? I thought you’d been hurt!”

  Jimmy waved his plaster at her but with a lot less confidence.

  “Why did he throw a book at you?”

  Jimmy looked down at the table.

  “Jimmy?”

  He stuck his lower lip out like a petulant child. “I told you he’s been picking on me.”

  “The guard said Ted slapped your hand with a book because you were trying to nick the date stamp?”

  “It’s a really deep cut. D’you wanna see it?” Jimmy offered, threatening to peel back the plaster.

  “No. What did you want the date stamp for?”

  “There isn’t much to do in here. I wanted to stamp a few things, call it crafting.”

  Lucy looked at him. Words failed her.

  “He never lets me have a go. He lets some of the others use it, he just picks on me.”

  The words ‘grow up’ formed in her mind but she couldn’t say that. “This isn’t going to help your appeal or our request to get you moved somewhere else.”

  Jimmy continued playing with his plaster and didn’t look at her.

  “I’ll see if I can get you your own date stamp. In the meantime it would be better if you could keep your hands in your pockets when you’re in the library. We don’t want any more incidents like this on your record or you could find yourself spending longer in here.”

  That made him look up in alarm.

  “I know you don’t want to be here,” she told him, softening a little. “That’s kind of the idea of prisons. But it isn’t for much longer. Try to get through the days without any incidents and you’ll get out as early as possible.”

  Jimmy was looking at her but didn’t say anything. She hoped he’d ta
ken it in but she couldn’t be certain. You can lead a horse to water…she was thinking as she left.

  It was a rush to get back in time for her next appointment with Mr Lewis. She only just made it.

  “How are you today?” Lucy asked him as she retrieved his file from her cabinet. He sat down heavily in the chair opposite her desk as she scanned over her notes reminding herself where they’d got to.

  “Can’t complain,” he responded. “Course I’d feel better if I wasn’t getting woken up at dawn each day.” The bags under his eyes certainly testified to this. “I’m just glad my Annie’s not alive anymore, this would worry the hell out of her.”

  Lucy asked one of the secretaries to bring them a cup of tea and some biscuits as she logged onto her computer.

  “So, you got the monitor from the council,” she began.

  “Yes, they sent one round. I hope I’ve been using it okay, I wasn’t sure what to do at first. These are the readings from the last week.”

  He handed over readings from the noise monitor his council had lent him. Lucy knew the council wouldn’t get involved unless they had evidence. She got onto the internet and googled what the acceptable level noise range was. His neighbour’s were well outside.

  “Well, it looks like we definitely have a case.”

  “What can I do?” Mr Lewis asked. “The council have to get involved now don’t they?”

  “We can ask them to issue a warning notice. These readings are high enough to warrant it. If your neighbour breaks that they can be subject to a penalty.”

  “A penalty?” he queried, not looking convinced.

  “It may not sound like much but in a lot of cases it’s enough to get people to do something. It makes them realise we’re serious. People can get upset when they get these letters from their council so I’d recommend we write to them first and ask them to control the noise level. I’ll put in a copy of these readings so they can see for themselves how much noise their parrot makes.”

  “I’ve already asked them and they’ve ignored me. I can’t believe it’s come to this. Time was people got on well with their neighbours, you relied on them to help you out sometimes and you’d do the same for them. Things have changed and not for the better. People don’t care about anyone else anymore.”