The Suicide Project (Rebirth Book 1)

by Yazz Ustaris

  Finally done, I set the razor in the sink and ran my fingertips along Gideon’s lower jaw. “Smooth as a baby’s butt” I murmured. Gideon’s blue eyes sparkled at me in amusement when he opened them and grinned at my comment. And just like that, out popped his dimple. I gasped teasingly and caressed it as I added, “And there it is! Hello little dimple!” I laughed at my own witticism and winked at Sam while Gideon groaned and shook his head at me. He tried to turn his head to check himself out in the mirror, but I caught his chin to prevent him from looking.

  “Tsk tsk! I’m not done yet!” I admonished in a sing-song voice. Removing the new hair shears from its packaging, I got to work on his head.

  Taking bites of apple in between hair cutting, I became increasingly excited as the new haircut started to take shape. It totally complimented Gideon's handsome features, converting him from hot—to smoking hot. It's amazing what a simple shave and a haircut can do for one's features. I had chosen a modern, edgy style that was trimmed short in the back with spiky layers on top. Very suave. Once he showered and put styling cream in his hair, I had no doubt he would look like he belonged on the cover of a high fashion magazine.

  “Okay, we're all done!” I announced with supreme satisfaction. Glancing over at Sam to gauge his reaction, I saw that he had a huge smile on his face. He stood up, clapping his hands as he shouted, “Bravo! I don’t even recognize you!!” Pleased with his reaction, I watched as Gideon slowly turned around to look at himself in the mirror. For a moment he just stared at himself, stunned as he turned his head slowly to the left and then to the right. I grinned as I watched him check himself out from every angle. Meeting my gaze in the mirror, a red flush spread across his cheeks again as he self-consciously ran his fingers through his close cropped hair. “Thank you Teagan, I like it a lot. I don't even look like me anymore!”

  I winked at him and teased, “Just you watch…I'm going to end up having to beat girls off of you with a stick!” I found it cute that Gideon blushed so easily but figured it was a testament to the fact that he had zero experience with the opposite sex. I knew he had a tiny crush on me because Sam told me so. I was careful to treat them both as an adoring older sister would treat her beloved younger brothers, because that's exactly what I thought of them as.

  Whipping my head around, my attention flew to Sam as he practically screeched, “My turn! I'm next!” I winced over the sound since Sam tended to get louder the more excited he got. Sam and Gideon traded places and I laughed as I noticed that Sam practically vibrated with excitement over getting a new hairstyle too.

  “Okay, you need to hold still sweetie, or else I might make a mistake.” Obediently, Sam stopped twitching and became as still as a statue, an ecstatic smile remained plastered on his face. Too cute! The temptation to pinch his cheek was too great, so I gently grabbed hold of his left one and squeezed softly as I grinned at him.

  “Have you two been planning this for a while?” I questioned suspiciously, as I began to snip here and there. I saw Gideon nod his head from my peripheral vision while he continued to caress his clean-shaven jaw.

  “One night a few weeks back when you went to bed early, the two of us hung out in the Common Room talking. Sam and I both decided that since we have new physiques from all the workouts, we should go all the way and get new hairstyles too. Sam said it might help us boost our self-esteems and give us courage for when it's time to meet the others. We wanted a fresh start when we transferred to the new barracks.”

  “Sounds like a great plan.” I agreed with pride in my voice. “I like the way you two think.”

  “You don't need a makeover though Teagan, because we decided that you're already perfect the way you are. You don't need to change a single thing!” Sam piped in quickly, an angelic grin decorating his full lips.

  Smiling in thanks at the compliment while chucking Sam under the chin with the side of my pointer finger, I teased, “I dunno guys…I've been thinking about chopping my hair off and getting a bob.” Sam's horrified gasp rent the air as he clutched one hand to his chest in horror. I threw back my head and laughed at him. Sometimes Sam was so full of drama, but it was one of the reasons why I loved having him in our little group.

  “Just kidding…I like my long hair and don't plan on cutting it any time soon.” Picking up the electric trimmer, I worked on giving Sam some well-defined side burns. I left the hair on top of his head a little bit longer than Gideon's so that he could have more styling options, but I trimmed the hair in the back short to match Gideon's.

  “Where did you learn to cut hair?” Sam smiled while peeking at me from beneath his new bangs.

  “Well, my mom used to cut both my dad and brother’s hair. I was watching her cut hair in the kitchen one day and decided that it didn't look that hard. Then one day while my parents were out, my brother needed a trim so he asked me to do it. My brother said I did a pretty good job, so from that day forward if my dad or brother needed a haircut, I would do it if my mom was busy.” Almost as an afterthought, I added, “I also used to cut my fiancé’s hair for him when I had the time.”

  Suddenly, the grin faded from my lips. I didn’t mean to say that last part out loud. I hadn't allowed my thoughts to wander in the direction of my ex for quite a while, and the thought of Kyle left a bitter taste in my mouth. Glancing at Sam and Gideon, I could see from the identical looks on their faces that they were both shocked by the news that I had had a fiancé. The three of us never talked about our pasts, but I had never given any prior indication that I was formerly engaged. Even though I knew they were curious and wanted to ask me questions, they could tell from the clenching of my jaw and the sudden silence of the room that it was not a topic I welcomed at that moment.

  Glancing once again at the clock on the wall, I realized we only had an hour left to shower, dress, and eat before we had to meet the sergeant back in the Common Room. Excusing myself as soon as I was done with Sam's hair, I left them with the task of cleaning up the bathroom on their own. I needed some time alone to collect my thoughts.

  Racing to my room, I snagged a clean change of sweat pants, tank top, and underwear from my dresser while toeing off my sneakers and darting into the bathroom to shed my sweat soaked clothing. While I waited for the water to heat up, I stood in front of the sink and inspected my reflection in the mirror, reaching up to remove the hair tie that kept my tresses tightly coiled in a bun on the top of my head. I had a small bag of elastic hair ties and I had already accidently broken six of them. My hair was extremely thick and heavy, and was so dark brown in color that it looked nearly black. My face had a healthy olive complexion that was slightly tanned at the moment due to the hours we spent running in the sun. I've been told numerous times by different people that my eyes were one of my best features. My image gazing back at me showed almond-shaped eyes that were dark and intense, with perfectly arched brows.

  Unfortunately, my eyes were also very expressive and at the moment they held a trace of melancholia. Scowling at myself in the mirror, I chastised my reflection, “Suck it up Teagan. There's no use getting upset over the past. What’s done is done so get over it. Be grateful that you didn't marry that cheating son of a bitch!” Mollified by that thought, I stepped into the shower and let the delicious smell of my favorite cherry almond soap wash my troubles away as I vigorously scrubbed every inch of my skin. I had a shampoo of the same scent, and I worked my hair into a rich, foamy lather as I started softly humming to myself.

  Just that quickly, my good spirits were restored. Once I was squeaky clean, I stepped out of the shower and toweled myself dry. I brushed my teeth, and quickly slathered some sweet-almond scented lotion on my legs before tackling my hair with the blow dryer. I knew I was running out of time, but my hair was so long and thick, I needed to get it at least partially dry since I didn't enjoy the feeling of having damp hair soaking through the back of my tank top. Content when it was mostly dry, I ran my brush over it a few more times and left it loose. My hair was my pride and joy
because it was thick and glossy, and felt like cool silk when it brushed against my bare shoulders. It looked the epitome of healthy hair, and hung nearly to my lower back.

  Slipping on some flip flops, I entered the Common Room and saw that Sam and Gideon were both already there, sitting on the couch with clean, dry hair and tentative smiles of greeting. I caught Sam's eye and winked at him to show that all was well. Quickly picking up the jar of styling cream, I stood in front of Gideon and with a few quick swipes of my fingers managed to coax his hair into a spiky style that transformed him into downright sexy.

  “Hubba hubba Gideon, you look hot!” I muttered under my breath, as I watched Gideon’s face flame red just like I knew it would. So predictable! Laughing, I moved on to Sam and maneuvered his hair so that the front end was styled in an upsweep that curved back. When I was finally satisfied, I moved to the sink to give my hands a quick wash while the guys moved to the mirror on the wall to check out their reclections.

  “I love it!” gushed Sam. “It looks sort of like the pompadour style from the 1970’s!” Pleased that he noticed it, I confessed, “That was EXACTLY the look I was aiming for! I think that hairstyle suits you very well.”

  “I think I’ll keep my hair short from now on,” murmured Gideon, as he gingerly brushed his fingertips against his spiky new hair. “I don’t know why I ever let my hair grow long to begin with.”

  “Just consider me your new hairdresser then,” I replied before grinning at his reflection. “Now… Let’s go eat!!” I announced, as I clapped my hands twice to let them know we needed to hustle.

  By this time, we only had thirty minutes left to eat. Linking my arms through Sam’s and Gideon’s, the three of us headed for the Mess Hall and wolfed down our dinner posthaste.

  3

  We made it back to the Common Room with only five minutes to spare. I sighed in contentment from finally having a full belly. Tonight, I had two large slices of meatloaf, sautéed brussel sprouts, stuffed portobello mushrooms caps, and a grilled corn on the cob with butter. For dessert, I had a huge wedge of chilled watermelon. My lips twitched as I recalled the looks of amazement from the guys. It was always hard for them to believe the amount of food I was able to pack away, even as they sat across from me and watched me eat it.

  “Okay…where the hell does it all go?” Gideon demanded as he stared at me in bafflement.

  “Yeah!” Sam piped in. “How is it possible for you to eat as much as you do and not get fat? You should feel like puking your brains out by now! You ate way more than I did!” I pursed my lips as my gaze flicked to the half-eaten plate of spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread that was still on Sam’s plate.

  “Consider it one of the many wonders of the world guys,” I murmured serenely as I patted my flat abdomen. “Sometimes in life, you just gotta accept what you don’t understand,” I joked. Glancing at them, I could tell they weren’t going to let the topic drop. It was funny that they always seemed obsessed with the amount of food I was able to consume. As we slowly made our way to the Common Room, I finally explained that it was because I never ate bread, rice, or pasta anymore. “The healthier you eat, the more you’re able to eat. That’s my philosophy anyways. You guys never noticed how I always avoid the bread basket?” I demanded skeptically.

  Gideon shrugged as he replied, “I thought that was just a girl thing. You know…a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.”

  I snorted with amusement as we passed through the doorway of the Common Room. “I think maybe that phrase applies to the sweet stuff, like an entire triple chocolate cheesecake for example, or a whole carton of cookie dough ice cream.” Gideon grinned at me sheepishly as all three of us plopped down on the couch to await Sergeant Ramsey’s arrival.

  “In any case, I perform better physically when I eat natural foods and eliminate the processed crap from my diet,” I explained. I briefly raised an eyebrow at him as I contemplated his eating habits. “Ya know, you might want to try my way of eating sometime Gideon. It might just help you with your digestive issues,” I murmured innocently, as I broke eye contact and smirked at the wall. Gideon was highly sensitive about his “tummy troubles” and claimed he always had to run to the bathroom because he believed he had irritable bowel syndrome. Whatever! I had my suspicions that maybe he was just gluten sensitive like I was.

  “Ooh! Teagan! Go grab your brush while we wait for the sergeant!” Sam suddenly blurted out loud, snapping me out of my food trance. Once I returned from my room, he patted his lap invitingly with a playful smile as I heard Gideon’s exasperated sigh. Peeking at him from the corner of my eye, I bit my lip as he rolled his eyes at us with annoyance. A few months ago, Gideon had accused Sam of treating me as if I was his own personal “Boot Camp Barbie” because Sam always wanted to play with my hair and paint my nails. Gideon was afraid that if Sam acted too flamboyantly when we relocated to the large barracks, that he might get ridiculed and picked on by the others.

  I just scoffed at the comment and reassured Sam that if anyone had a problem with him that they could answer to my fists. I knew the guys assumed I was joking about that last part, but little did they know I was deadly serious about protecting either one of them in any way I saw fit. I wouldn’t tolerate bullying of any kind. I always encouraged Sam to be himself and to never hide his true nature because I was proud of his accomplishments and his personal growth in the short time we had bonded. Although Gideon fully accepted Sam the way he was, somehow he got it in his head that when we made the move to the other building, there would be a strong possibility that Sam would get beaten up for being gay, ergo so would he for trying to protect him.

  Shaking my head at the memory, I honestly wondered what Gideon and Sam saw when they looked at themselves in the mirror. They could’ve passed for a couple of linebackers with their muscular physiques, so if anyone looked capable of kicking some serious ass— it was those two. I remembered being flabbergasted the first time Gideon voiced his fear of getting bullied or beaten up. Staring at him now, I had to bite my lip harder to prevent the laughter from escaping because I thought his fear was ridiculous. Someone would have to be completely stupid to start a fight with either one of them.

  Perching comfortably on the edge of Sam’s lap, I let him brush my hair for me while Gideon sat watching at the other end of the couch. A glance at the clock showed three minutes to go. Playing with my hair was a pastime that Sam thoroughly enjoyed for some reason. Considering the fact that I love having my hair brushed, I reasoned that it was definitely a win-win situation for the two of us. I suddenly noticed how quiet it was in the room and how the second hand of the clock seemed especially loud as it went tick, tick, tick. Off in the distance, I imagined that I may have heard a heavy metal door slam and it caused a tiny prickle of unease to rise up my back. Instinctively, I slid off of Sam’s lap to wedge myself in between the guys on the couch, pulling my legs up to sit cross-legged as I calmly announced, “He’s here.”

  The three of us turned our attention to the doorway as Sergeant Ramsey appeared, followed by Dr. Howard Duffy, (or Doc Duffy as we all called him) and Jamie, the thirty-something year old nurse who assisted the doctor every time he paid us a visit. “What’s up Doc?” I joked in greeting, as I smiled and nodded at Jamie in welcome. The guys copied my lead, offering our visitors a warm welcome. The presence of Dr. Duffy and the nurse were unexpected but definitely comforting as I glanced at the serious expression on the Sergeant’s face.

  With satisfaction, I watched Jamie do a double take as she visually appraised Sam and Gideon’s new haircuts. Grinning, she let loose with a loud wolf-whistle of appreciation before turning to me and winking. “Good job Teagan! Very, very nice.” I just laughed off the compliment as I watched Gideon’s cheeks redden in embarrassment at being the center of attention. I laughed harder when I noticed that Sam was practically preening for everyone’s benefit. Dr. Duffy and Sergeant Ramsey both complimented the change.

  “I can’t say I’m sad to see b
oth of y’alls hairstyles go,” the sergeant confided. “I almost didn’t recognize you two!” His gaze lingered on Gideon the longest since he had undergone the biggest transformation. “Geez! It’s like magic!” he muttered. His expression showed that he was having a hard time believing it was really Gideon and I thought it was hilarious when he finally tore his focus away from Gideon with an effort. Catching my eye, he joked, “Are we really sure that’s Gideon?” His deep booming laughter burst forth as he laughed at his own joke, and I couldn’t help but laugh in reply. Every now and then, the sergeant had his moments where he was actually funny.

  Once his laughter died down, he helped himself to a bottle of water from the fridge and paused to take a few sips before schooling his features. After clearing his throat, Sergeant Ramsey reached into his pocket and withdrew a small device that looked like some sort of remote control. Turning at the waist, he aimed it at the camera on the wall above the door behind him and suddenly the little red light on the camera vanished as it appeared to have been turned off. Glancing at the three of us solemnly, he sat down on one of the armchairs across from us while the Doc and Jamie followed suit and sat down on the last remaining sofa so that we all faced each other. Jamie caught my eye and offered me a tentative smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Hmmm….curious. I had never seen her look this serious before.

  Sergeant Ramsey was all business, and his current expression was completely different from when we parted ways with him three hours prior.