Autumn Wish

by Netzel, Stacey Joy

  “I thought you were under that tree.”

  She didn’t know quite how to respond in the face of his genuine distress and gruff voice, so she attempted a smile. “Almost.”

  His hold tightened. His gaze dropped, and her heart skipped when he lowered his mouth to hers. She hadn’t realized her lips were cold until his warmed hers through and through. Yet even as his kiss spread heat through her body, the cold air tunnel between the opening in her roof and the raised window made her shiver.

  Sam pulled back and set her away from him so fast she nearly stumbled. He turned the light on the tree protruding from her ceiling. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “I—”

  “Get yourself some dry clothes so we can get out of here.” He stepped toward the tree, sweeping the light over the damage. “Tomorrow I can cut this thing out of here, and then I’ll see what I have to do to close up the hole. You have homeowner’s insurance, right?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “It may take a few days before you can get someone out here to get the work done, but I’ll do what I can over the weekend to minimize weather damage before I go back to work.”

  “Sam, you don’t—”

  “Yes, I do.” He swung around with a frown. “Are you going to get your stuff? I need to get back by Ella.”

  “I need the light,” she snapped, annoyed at his continual interruptions after that bone-melting kiss.

  “Oh. Right.”

  He came only close enough to hand her the flashlight, then climbed out the window onto the porch roof. “I’ll wait out here.”

  She pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater, socks and her tennis shoes, then packed a bag with clothes and toiletries for tomorrow as well. When she joined him on the roof, she noticed he’d buttoned his shirt. Of course, it was cold, but she didn’t think that was the issue. What was the problem? He’d hugged her. He’d kissed her. So why did it feel like she’d done something wrong?

  He didn’t say a word as he turned to shut the window. She inched down the slippery, leaf-littered incline toward the edge of the porch roof.

  “Careful.” He moved past and lifted her bag from her shoulder. “Let me go first so I can hold the ladder for you.”

  She held the top as he made his way to the ground, then he did the same for her from below. She tried not to think about him possibly watching her butt and was glad she still held the flashlight, the beam pointed skyward. While he pulled the ladder down and laid it in front of her house, she started up the stairs onto her porch.

  “Where are you going?” Impatience edged his voice.

  “Um, inside? I’m not going to sit out here all night.” Especially when her breath fogged in the beam of the flashlight.

  “Well, of course not, but you’re not staying here, either. You need to come over to my place.”

  “Why? I can sleep on my...” She came to an abrupt stop when she saw the splintered wood that used to be her front door frame. “What the heck happened here?”

  “Your door was locked.”

  She stared at the busted frame and remembered the crash she’d heard shortly after the tree had fallen. That had been Sam, breaking down her door to get to her?

  “I’ll fix that,” he assured her. “I’m sorry, but it was the only way I could get in, and I didn’t know—”

  “It’s okay, I’m not mad.”

  She walked inside and tossed her bag on the couch. Before she could turn back to close the door, he stormed past and scooped up her duffle.

  “I’m serious, you’re not staying here. It’s not safe.”

  He had a point. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll wedge a chair under the door handle.”

  “That’s not the only issue. The tree could’ve exposed some of your wiring, which will be a fire hazard once power is restored. We need to turn off your electricity at the breaker box. That leaves you no way to heat the house until that tree is removed. I’ve got a fireplace, so even if it takes the power company more than a couple hours to restore power, we’ll still be warm.”

  Damn it. He was full of good points, wasn’t he? She could just as easily call Marissa. Or drive over there. After he’d practically shoved her away from him upstairs, that’d be the smart thing to do.

  Except with the five kids, the Riley house was full to the max. Not only would she worry about waking everyone up, but she knew they didn’t have a bed to spare without it being an inconvenience.

  “If you’re worried about privacy, I’ll take the couch and you can have my room,” Sam offered. “Please, Nik, just come stay with me for the rest of the night, so I know you’re safe.”

  He’d broken in the door to come to her rescue, and he kept using the nickname that only ever sounded good in his voice. Marissa had told her to follow her heart, and her heart liked his display of concern very much—especially the knight-in-shining-armor part about the door.

  Then he added, “The tree fell from my yard, so I can’t help but feel responsible.”

  Oh, why’d he have to go and ruin it?

  She ignored her disappointment and lifted her chin in determination. “Fine, but only because I’m cold, and I don’t want to bother my sister in the middle of the night. And I’ll take the couch.”

  His challenging gaze met hers in the dim light provided by the flashlight. “Fine. Where’s the breaker box?”

  She led the way and collected her purse and jacket while he shut off her electricity. Back at his house, he unlocked the door, then handed off her bag and headed for the stairs. “I’ll bring in some wood for the fire after I check on Ella.”

  “Is it stacked outside?”

  “No, there’s some dry stuff in the garage, but I’ll get it.”

  It was a couple minutes before midnight, and after everything that’d happened, she knew she wasn’t going to fall asleep again anytime soon. She unzipped her duffle and took out the extra flashlight she’d taken from her kitchen, then went out to the garage for an armload of wood.

  Sam met her at the doorway on her way back inside. He’d changed into a dry shirt and pulled on a pair of socks. She lifted her gaze past the cotton molded to his chest and found his mouth set in a grim line.

  “I said I’d get it.”

  “So get some,” she shot back. “We’ll need more than I’ve got here.”

  In the living room, she set the wood off to the side, and then found some newspaper in a kindling box off to the side. Before she could crinkle up the first piece to start the fire, he took it from her hands.

  “You don’t have to help with this. I feel bad enough about the tree already.”

  After the tree, and him pushing her away, his I’m the Man attitude put her over the edge. She reached forward and snatched the paper back. Then she jabbed it in the air at him to punctuate her words.

  “First of all, unless you went out and personally pushed that tree onto my house, it’s not your fault. Second, believe me, I know you’re a man. I know you can get the wood and I know you can build the fire. You don’t owe me anything, and I’m not helpless, so stop treating me like I am.”

  Chapter 14

  Sam held back his smile with everything he had, but as Nikki lowered the paper after her little speech, his lips twitched. “I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?”

  Surprisingly, her mouth tugged upward at the corners, too. “A little bit.”

  He was. Because he’d been worried out of his mind when he saw that tree crashed into her house. And then he’d kissed her again and never wanted to stop—only he knew she was back with Joe, and the only way to keep his hands off her was to detach himself. Since he’d insisted she spend the night under his roof without first considering their physical proximity, that left him with emotional distance. Which had turned him into a jerk.

  Except he didn’t want her to think he was a jerk for any reason, even if she was back with her ex-boyfriend.

  “You’re right. I didn’t push down the tree, and you’re not help
less. Now what?”

  She stepped forward to slap the paper against his chest. “Build the damn fire so I can warm up.”

  He laughed, catching the paper when she turned away. “Yes, ma’am.”

  While he got the fire going, she disappeared into the kitchen with a flashlight she must’ve brought from her house.

  “Do you have any candles?”

  Sitting back on his heels as the flame licked at the kindling, he glanced in her direction. “I have no curtains on my windows yet. You really think I have candles around here?”

  “I guess not. What about some hot chocolate?”

  “Only coffee, and no way to make it.”

  She walked out of the kitchen, straight for the front door. “I’m going to get a few things from my place. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  He bit his tongue on the offer to go with her, rising to his feet as the wood in the grate caught fire. “Be careful.”

  She nodded on her way out the door. Once the screen was in place to prevent sparks from flying out, he took his flashlight upstairs to get some blankets and a pillow for her to use on the couch.

  It was still fairly warm upstairs, but if the power didn’t come on in a couple hours, he would probably have to bring Ella downstairs to her playpen. Another peek in on the baby assured him she was still asleep. All the activity at the Riley’s must’ve worn her out. This was the longest she’d slept at a stretch since she’d arrived, which left him equally amazed and grateful.

  By the time Nikki returned with two brown paper grocery bags full of heaven only knew what, he’d made up her bed on the couch and finished up a call to the electric company with his cell phone.

  “It could take up to twelve hours to restore the power,” he advised as he followed her into the kitchen. “Lightning hit one of the substations down the road.”

  She took three jar candles from one of her bags. “Good thing I brought over what I did, then. Go ahead and light these to set around. I’m going to make some hot chocolate, you want some?”

  “How are you gonna do that?”

  “Bottled water, pot on the fire.”

  “Ah. Sure, I’ll have a cup.”

  He put one candle in the bathroom, one in the kitchen, then set the other one in the living room and sat on the couch as she made the hot chocolate. Firelight flickered across her refined features and brought out the shine in the blond hair that tumbled in damp waves about her shoulders.

  The fire and candles gave the room a warm, romantic glow that he would have loved to take advantage of if it weren’t for frickin’ Joe. But after watching his mother cheat on one man after another, he’d vowed to never knowingly pursue a woman who was in a relationship. No matter how strong the desire to pull Nikki close and feel the arousing whisper of her warm breath across his bare chest once more.

  She came over to hand him a mug, complete with mini marshmallows, then sat about a foot away from him on the couch. Even that was too tempting, but he couldn’t very well up and move away without her taking it personally. The confused longing in her expression after his earlier kiss had nearly undone all his good intentions.

  “Thanks.” He took a cautious sip. “Mmm, that’s good. It’s been years since I’ve had a cup of hot chocolate.”

  She toed off her shoes, then propped her stocking feet on his coffee table and hugged the pillow to her stomach and chest while holding her own mug. “It’s my weakness. Anything chocolate.”

  After a sip, she licked melted marshmallow from her upper lip.

  Damn, he was in trouble. Anything Nikki was fast becoming his weakness.

  They both took another drink, then he directed his tortured gaze toward the stairs and steered the conversation to a safe subject. “Do you think I should bring Ella down?”

  “Let her sleep for now. If she’s tucked in with a blanket, she’ll be warm enough.”

  “That’s what I was thinking.”

  She turned her head sideways against the couch to look at him. “Do you mind if I ask...any word from your sister?”

  He shook his head at the unexpected question.

  “Do you think you’ll hear from her?”

  “I don’t know.” A shrug did nothing to ease the tension that burned in his shoulders. He took a breath, then admitted, “I’m not sure if I want to.” When he heard his own words, he dropped his head against the back of the couch. “God, that sounds even worse when I say it out loud.”

  “Something had to be pretty bad for her to abandon her baby. It’s impossible not to fall in love with that little girl up there,” Nikki said softly.

  He swallowed back his guilt and lolled his head toward her. Their gazes met and held. The tender understanding in her eyes seized the air in his lungs.

  “It hasn’t even been a week, but already I can’t imagine my life without her.” Or without you.

  His gaze lowered to her mouth. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, and his pulse spiked as suppressed desire punched him in the gut. When he raised his eyes to hers once more, a similar yearning simmered in those shadowed blue depths.

  She’s not yours to hold.

  Sam turned his head away from temptation. A loud snap and shift of the wood in the fireplace gave him an excuse to sit forward and set his mug on the coffee table. He intended to get up and check the fire, but the guilt of Rae resurfaced, along with the urge to defend the sister he barely knew.

  “Raelyn had it rough growing up. We never knew our father, and a family like what I saw tonight at your sister’s was something that only existed in the movies. Our mother left us with an aunt when Rae was only twelve. Dropped us off to go grocery shopping and never came back. We got a postcard about two weeks later from California. She said she’d be home soon. Later, I overheard my aunt arguing with my mom on the phone and I knew that was it.”

  His shoulders hunched at the memory. “The argument was because my aunt didn’t mind keeping Rae, but said I was nothing but a smart-mouthed troublemaker. Mom told her to kick me out.”

  He’s seventeen, he thinks he’s so smart, let him fend for himself and he’ll learn fast enough.

  “That’s a horrible thing for your mom to say after deserting the two of you.”

  He heard the indignant frown in her voice and shrugged away the hurt that had never fully dissipated. “But it was true; I was awful, and in my mind I was better off on my own. So I left that same night. Stayed with a friend, hit the road the next day, didn’t look back for about four years.” A bitter laugh scraped from his throat. “And as smart as I was, I got myself a record in no time.”

  After a moment, Nikki quietly asked, “As in police record?”

  His nod was nothing more than a single jerk of his head. “Underage drinking, aggravated assault, resisting arrest. After I was caught with a friend’s coke in my pocket—and I swear to God it was not mine—it’s a miracle I didn’t end up in jail. A long stint doing community service with a former Marine as my supervisor set me on the right track.”

  He stared at the window across the room, afraid to look at what might be written on her face. Firelight reflected in the glass, along with the lone wavering flame from the candle on the coffee table. She shifted beside him, sitting forward until he could see her profile from the corner of his eye.

  “And all that time, Rae stayed with your aunt?”

  “Yeah.” Sticking to the subject of Raelyn stirred up memories he’d have rather stayed buried, only he couldn’t seem to shut his mouth. “Problem was, she learned faster than I did that the only time anyone cared what she was doing was when she was doing something wrong.”

  He blew out a breath and reached for his mug to take a drink. The lukewarm liquid made him grimace, so he set it back down and braced his forearms on his knees. Hot coffee would be great right about now. No, a shot or two of whiskey would really hit the spot, even if it wouldn’t erase the image of his strung-out baby sister when he’d returned to Michigan.

  It struck him that was part of
the reason he feared Rae returning. No way he could let her take Ella back if she was still using.

  “By the time I got my head straight, she was sixteen and in ten times deeper than I’d been with the alcohol, and drugs. I tried to talk some sense into her, but I was just the jerk brother who’d left her like everyone else in her life.” He scrubbed his hands over his face and hung his head as he forced out the words he’d never expected to voice to any living soul. “I should’ve stayed. Or brought her with me. Anything would’ve been better than doing the same damn thing our mother did.”

  While waiting for Nikki’s response in the heavy silence, he realized he wanted her to blame him. He’d been burned more than once during those four long, tough years, but each hard lesson learned had beat humility and common sense into his thick skull. He liked to believe he was that much smarter now, so how was he falling so fast for someone when he’d avoided attachments up ’til now?

  If she looked at him with contempt for what he’d done, it would make his life so much easier. Put some distance between them.

  The soft touch of her hand on his shoulder made his pulse skip.

  “You were just a kid yourself, Sam, trying to deal with your mother leaving, too. You made bad choices, same as your sister did. The difference is, you grew up, and she chose to repeat the pattern with her own child. Ella’s lucky to have you.”

  With his eyes closed, he couldn’t help but focus on her reassuring touch rubbing his back. The heat of her leg next to his seeped through his jeans. She offered everything he didn’t deserve. Understanding. Acceptance. Forgiveness. The urge to lean into her threatened to overwhelm his common sense.

  “I can’t help but think if I’d stayed, things would be completely different now.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not.”

  She withdrew her arm, and he immediately missed her warmth.

  “When I went back, she left before I could figure out how to undo what I’d done.”

  “At least you tried. And think about it. If you’d stayed for Rae the first time, you might not have Ella right now. Knowing that, would you go back and change anything?”