Autumn Wish

by Netzel, Stacey Joy

  He straightened in surprise. “What the hell kind of question is that?”

  Her eyes met his without flinching. “A hard one.”

  Yeah, and one he didn’t want to answer. When he sat back against the couch, she shifted to keep her gaze on his face like a hawk tracking its prey.

  His and Rae’s childhood had not been a happy one even before their mother ditched them. The first years after he’d left had been even harder—again, for both of them. Would he give up Ella to wipe away all those years of pain?

  His jaw clenched. No. Even knowing what they’d both been through, imagining what his sister could be going through now, he could never wish Ella out of existence.

  Nikki smiled as if he’d spoken the denial out loud. “Concentrate on taking care of your niece, Sam. She’s all that matters at the moment.”

  “I know. But even though I said before I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear from Rae, I worry about how she’s doing. I mean, like you said, it had to be bad for her to leave Ella. I don’t want her to be in trouble, and yet...I really hope it’s not that she’s like our mother and just doesn’t give a shit.”

  “She could’ve left her with anyone. Instead she found you.”

  “Yeah, but if she’d have trusted me and stayed, I could’ve helped them both.”

  “She trusts you with Ella. That’s says a lot more than you think, Sam.”

  He hadn’t considered it that way.

  “If—no, when—your sister comes back, you can be there for her, too, for whatever she needs. You can’t change what you did in the past, but you’re already more than making up for it now.”

  The lump in his throat was hard to swallow past. Would Rae ever give him a chance to make up for leaving her?

  He risked a glance at Nikki and saw a sheen of tears as her lashes lowered. Mirroring her comment about choices, anything different in his life would mean they’d never have met, either.

  She’d said Ella was all that mattered, but that wasn’t true. There was an irresistible magnetism drawing him to her, and it should’ve scared the daylights out of him. Instead, he pulled her back toward him until she rested under the crook of his arm, her head on his chest. When she relaxed against him, despite knowing all about his ugly past, his arm tightened even as he knew it’d be better to let her go.

  Pressing his lips to her temple, he whispered, “Thank you.”

  Chapter 15

  Sam woke as dawn bleached the sky outside the windows. It took a moment for him to realize he was on his couch, and had fallen asleep with Nikki in his arms. Sometime during the night, she’d adjusted her position and now her cheek used his thigh as her pillow. One hand was wedged between his leg and the couch cushion, the other rested on his knee. Blond hair spilled across his jeans, and he reached to smooth the silky strands off her face.

  Whoa, no, not a good idea. He checked the action and drew back with regret. Nothing had changed since last night.

  Time to take stock of everything else. The fire had burned down to nothing but ashes and a few glowing embers, but the hum of the refrigerator and the light shining above the stairs told him the power was back on. His furnace had probably kicked in, which is why the house wasn’t chilled enough to have woken him sooner.

  He listened for Ella, but didn’t hear any crying from upstairs. Amazing, but still, he needed to get up and make sure she was okay. He carefully leaned sideways to get the pillow on the other side of Nikki so he could switch it out in place of his leg, allowing her to continue sleeping.

  She shifted with a soft sigh, then stiffened a second before pushing up to a sitting position.

  He cleared his throat. “Morning.”

  “Hey.” Her voice was quiet, almost shy, and her disheveled hair blocked her face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to...”

  “It’s fine,” he assured her. “You can go back to sleep. It’s still early.”

  “No. I’m up.”

  He got to his feet and stretched with a low groan. “Power’s back on. Make yourself at home. The bathroom down here is all yours. I’m going to go up and check on Ella.”

  She glanced toward the stairs. “She slept through the night?”

  “Seems so.”

  At the top of the stairs, he heard movement from the nursery and looked in to see Ella laying quietly on her back, playing with one of her soft crib toys. As long as she wasn’t fussing yet, he quickly moved down the hall to use the bathroom and brush his teeth. After changing his clothes, he returned to her room and moved up next to the crib.

  “Well, hello there, little girl.”

  Her arms and legs jerked at the sound of his voice. Then her face scrunched up as she began to cry. He chuckled and reached to pick her up. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  One clean diaper and a new outfit later, and he carried the now quiet infant back downstairs for her morning bottle. Nikki stood by the window that faced her house, her hand raised to cover her mouth. The stairs creaked under his weight, and she ducked her chin to wipe her cheeks.

  Two crying females by six a.m. Wonderful.

  But he could guess the reason for Nikki’s emotion, and with her back angled toward him, clearly she didn’t want him to see her tears. He suppressed the urge to go hug her and continued into the kitchen to give her some space.

  “I’m making coffee. You want some?”

  “Please.” Small and wobbly, her voice barely reached across the room. “You know, I saw it last night, but I didn’t really see it. It’s bad.”

  One glance out his kitchen window and he couldn’t argue her statement. The tree had taken out the entire side of her roof as well as a large section of the side of the house. But agreeing wouldn’t help, so he went the pragmatic route.

  “It could’ve been worse,” he reminded, putting Ella in her highchair so he could warm a bottle and start the coffee. “The house can be fixed. The important thing is that you weren’t hurt.”

  “I know.” She took a shuddering breath and turned for the couch. “It’s just...how am I supposed to watch the kids now?”

  “We haven’t been inside in the daylight yet.”

  She paused, a partially folded blanket hugged to her stomach. A moment later, those blond locks shimmered about her shoulders as she shook her head and went back to straightening his living room. “I appreciate that you’re trying to be positive, but we both know I can’t babysit two infants and a toddler in the mess that’s going to be for a while.”

  “Then you can watch them here.”

  The words slipped out before he really thought about them. Nikki straightened, her surprised gaze finding his through the kitchen island window. “Are you serious?”

  He shrugged. Despite her annoyance over the idea of his liability for the tree last night, he still felt somewhat responsible since it had fallen from his backyard. “I’ll be at work all day, so it’s not like it’ll bother me. Plus, all Ella’s stuff is here, so that’s easy for me, too.”

  Relief showed in her expression when she joined him in the kitchen. “That would really help. Thank you.”

  “Sure.”

  The temporary solution appeared to ease her mind and she even offered him a brief smile before opening his refrigerator. He found out her grocery bags from last night had contained breakfast items, so while she cooked them scrambled eggs and toast, he fed Ella her bottle. After his niece drained the last of the formula, he burped her and put her back in the highchair so he and Nikki could eat.

  He poured them each a cup of coffee while she brought their plates to the table.

  “I’m sure you want to get over there, but I’d feel better if you let me check everything first.” He stabbed a forkful of fluffy eggs, then rested his hand against the side of his plate. “Make sure it’s safe before you go back inside again.”

  She nodded. “I’ll stay here with Ella. I texted Marissa before, but they won’t be up for another hour or so. Eric might be able to come help cut up the tree, but in
the meantime, I’ll call my insurance company and see when they can get someone out for an estimate.”

  “I’ll call mine, too, since it’s my tree. Between the two of them, it should all be covered.”

  Once the phone calls were made, and he’d determined it safe for her to enter the house, no live wires in the yard or anything, Nikki transferred her freezer items to store in his while keeping an eye on Ella in her swing.

  He’d gassed up his chainsaw in the garage and had just begun to clear the lower branches when three pick-up trucks pulled into their two driveways. Doors opened and then slammed as Eric, Mark and Janelle, and Derek Walsh all exited their vehicles. Sam cut the engine on his saw when they approached.

  “Holy shit.” Mark walked around to the other side of the tree with Janelle and Derek.

  Eric stopped next to Sam, his gaze fixed on the destruction. “Thank God Nikki wasn’t hurt.”

  “It was quite the wake up.”

  Nikki’s voice made them both turn to see she’d joined them outside, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her coat. Eric pulled her into a hug. “Hey, how are you doing?”

  “A little shell-shocked after seeing it in the morning light.”

  “You should’ve called us last night,” he admonished.

  “It’s not like you could’ve done anything,” she reasoned. “Sam offered his couch, so there was no sense waking you guys up in the middle of the night when I could walk next door.”

  “Makes sense.” Eric’s gaze cut to Sam, but he didn’t flinch away from those assessing gray eyes. The man didn’t say anything and by then the others rejoined them.

  Derek clapped his hands together. “Are we going to get this done, or what?”

  “I didn’t expect you all to show up,” Nikki said. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

  The slightly husky tone of her voice told Sam she was touched by the fact they were all there to help her.

  Mark shrugged. “The grandparents were more than happy to watch all the babies, so you’ve got us for as long as you need us.”

  Eric lightly backhanded his brother on the arm. “Then let’s get moving.”

  While Mark and Janelle made a list and left to get plywood, lumber, and the other necessary supplies to begin repairs, Sam, Eric and Derek got to work with their chainsaws. Nikki kept an eye on Ella until Marissa arrived a little later with the two older girls, who were thrilled to watch the baby. Once she cleared their babysitting skills with Sam, she and Nikki helped outside by hauling branches into his backyard where he could burn them later.

  Neighbors came and went; some staying to help for an hour or two, others just checking to make sure Nikki hadn’t been injured. The hours flew by as everyone worked together, breaking only for the lunch of pizza and sodas Derek’s wife Lisa brought from Figaro’s in Pulaski. Ella was doing great with Reese and Heather, so Sam remained outside as they finished removing the tree.

  By mid-afternoon, they began boarding up the house to prevent weather damage until everything could be permanently repaired. Used to working with men, Sam was impressed at how Nikki and the other women worked right alongside the guys, wielding hammers, sheets of plywood, and anything else needed.

  Despite the situation and hard work, laughter rang out in the crisp fall afternoon. Good-natured ribbing and countless inside jokes revealed the depth of the bond they all shared. He ignored the sharpening ache in his chest, that feeling that all he was missing in his life was right here in front of him—because how could you miss something you never had?

  Instead, he concentrated on how good it was to see Nikki smiling—even after she backed up, tripped over a large branch, and landed on her butt in the mud. The guys on the roof snorted with laughter at the sight, and after she’d changed, Eric teased her every so often. Sam couldn’t resist joining in as he passed her with another sheet of plywood for the roof.

  “Careful behind you.” He pointed out a small twig on the ground.

  She glanced around, then lifted her gaze back to make a face at him even as she kept her grin. “Ha, ha. You’re a real funny man.”

  Rays from the setting sun struck her hair, making it look like spun gold. He grinned right back at her, shifting the plywood so he could balance it for his trip up the ladder. In the blink of an eye, her smile faded and dismay took over her expression. Quick steps carried her past him toward the road.

  “What the hell is he doing here?” Eric asked from above.

  Sam swiveled his head and his gut clenched at the sight of Joe getting out of his shiny red Corvette. The guy defined success and wore it like his perfectly tailored suits. God, he felt so far out of Nikki’s league, jealousy struck like he’d stepped on a rattlesnake.

  Chapter 16

  Nikki couldn’t believe the day had passed so quickly and it was already six o’clock. She’d completely forgotten about her dinner date with Joe and hurried to meet him before he could cross the yard.

  “What the heck happened to your house?”

  “The wind blew over a tree during the storm last night.”

  He turned his frown toward her, then moved past to go check out the damage. “Why didn’t you call me? I’d have come over to help.”

  “I didn’t even think of it.”

  Didn’t that just say it all? Her fingers tightened on the hammer in her hand. Not once during the entire day had she thought about Joe or their dinner or their potential new beginning. It had been too much fun working on her destroyed house with her family. And Sam.

  Wow, what a revelation. Joe was in the past. Now, she wanted to see where things went with Sam.

  But what if it doesn’t work out with Sam?

  That question pushed the air from her chest until she sucked a deep breath into her lungs. Didn’t matter. She may not know if Sam was ‘The One,’ but she felt they’d connected last night on a level she hadn’t reached with Joe after an entire year, and it was suddenly very clear more time wouldn’t make any difference. In her heart, she was finally able to recognize without doubt that Joe was not her future, and dinner tonight, or any other night, would be pointless.

  Now to tell him.

  She glanced up at the roof where Sam worked, minding his own business as he hammered nails in the sheet of plywood he’d carried up before. Derek, Mark, and Eric, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have any problems checking out what was going on down below. Didn’t matter either way. As close as Joe stood to the house, everyone could hear their conversation.

  She lowered her voice. “I’m not going to be able to go to dinner with you.”

  “That’s understandable. We’ll go tomorrow night instead.”

  “I’m still going to have a lot to do tomorrow.” She motioned toward his car with the tool in her hand. “Listen, can we talk over there?”

  He didn’t even seem to hear her as he asked, “Do you have a place to stay until everything is fixed?”

  She’d originally planned to sleep on her couch, but the extent of the damage nixed that idea, and she hadn’t thought any further ahead yet. “Ah—”

  “Nikki can stay with us,” Marissa chimed from where she stood listening by Derek’s truck.

  “We can make room at the lodge, too,” Janelle offered.

  She glanced toward the guys on the roof, then faced her sister. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate your generosity, but Mar, you know you guys don’t have the room. And Janelle, I also know the Wounded Warrior Retreat starts next week, and you guys have had a waitlist every year since you started it, so no way am I taking a room from a veteran who’s served our country.”

  “Then you can move in with me,” Joe said, his tone firm, as if there were no need for discussion.

  She fought to keep her jaw from dropping open. His resistance to their living together was part of the reason she’d finally forced the issue about their relationship at the beginning of August, and he’d left. Now, he’d decided she would move in with him and announce it in front of everyone?
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  He smiled down at her as he pried one of her hands free from the hammer. “See? I told you, I’m ready. And once the repairs are done, you could just stay with me and sell the house.”

  Disbelief continued to render her speechless. He’d definitely turned over a new leaf, and yet the panic fluttering in her chest confirmed she had no lingering desire to stick with the old or examine the new. She pulled her hand from his. Her whole family was watching her, and since she’d given valid reasons why she couldn’t stay with them, she scrambled for an excuse to say no to Joe.

  “Actually, I’m staying with Sam.”

  The hammering on the roof lost rhythm, followed by a muffled curse.

  Joe didn’t say a word in the sudden silence, but the suspicion shadowing his brown eyes spoke volumes. Eric, Mark, Marissa, and Janelle all began talking at once.

  She held up her hands and spoke over the noise. “Sam’s got a spare bedroom, and since I’m already babysitting Ella during the day, he offered to let me stay with him and watch Lora’s kids at his place until my house is fixed.”

  Technically, that wasn’t quite what he’d offered, but hopefully he wouldn’t contradict her.

  Joe’s fists clenched at his sides as he glared toward the roof. “You are sleeping with him.”

  Annoyance flared. She ignored the noise of more than one pair of boots descending the metal ladder behind her and tried to steer Joe toward his car, but he jerked free. Fine. She’d say what she needed to say right here and let everyone listen.

  “You know what, it’s none of your business anymore—especially after Tanya.”

  “Not even going to try to deny it, I see.”

  “I don’t owe you any explanations, Joe. And I’ve finally realized that you were right a month ago. We’re done.”

  “Is this your way of extracting a little revenge?” He drilled his dark gaze into hers. “Getting me over here so you could humiliate me in front of everyone?”

  If she was completely honest with herself, she was enjoying the effects of his unfounded, jealous conclusions, but she wasn’t going to tell him that.