My Heart Can't Tell You No
Page 21
“They’re something special, Maddie,” he whispered against her hair. “They’re two completely different kids—but they’re more together than most brothers can get. Even when they’re bad—you can’t stay mad at them.”
Why did it have to feel so damn good, standing in his arms? Why couldn’t she be repulsed by his touch? Why did it have to feel so safe, so right?
“I’m glad you like them,” she whispered back, slightly sarcastic.
“Are you? I was under the impression you didn’t give a damn whether I liked them or not.”
“I always appreciate it when someone likes my children. Any mother would.”
“No,” he sighed. “Not any mother. Ya know, if they were mine, I’d take them and we’d go away someplace where no one could ever find us, or split us up.”
Maddie stiffened under his touch, moving away as he implied that if he ever found out, he’d take them and she’d never be able to find them. God, how she hated him at that moment, reaching for the doorknob and closing the door until only an inch remained open, more for Jackie than Robby. Sometimes Jackie still had nightmares.
“Well, if we stay here talking, they’ll never get any sleep.” She went back to the living room and toward the front door. “How was Lew today?”
“Limping. He said he’s going to get his foot checked out sometime next week.” His irritation at her coolness showed as he walked toward the door.
“What’s wrong with his foot?”
“He said he stepped on a nail last winter. It hasn’t healed yet.”
Joe opened the door and started toward his house. She watched him go, knowing she never wanted anyone to stay as much as she wanted him to stay at that moment, but also knowing that she never trusted anyone as little as she trusted him at that moment.
CHAPTER XIII
JULY 1984
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
July 1984
Maddie was going over some financial reports as her sons played in their bedroom. She heard the thunder roll overhead. She always enjoyed thunder, even the loud cracks that would make her jump a foot—she enjoyed it. Lightning, that was a different matter. When she was a child Jack had told her God was rolling beer barrels around up there. She had felt no fright of it since then. Who would be afraid of beer barrels?
The telephone rang next to her; ringing a second time as she uncurled her legs and reached for the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Maddie. You missing anything up there?” It was Joe.
“Not that I know of.”
“How about Robby?”
“Is Robby missing anything?” She was confused. “Or are you saying I’m missing Robby?”
“I think you’re missing Robby.”
“Jackie!” She held the receiver to her chest as she called to her oldest son.
“What?”
“Where’s Robby? Isn’t he in the bedroom with you?”
“No. He went to the bathroom a while ago. I thought he came out here with you.”
Maddie took a breath to soothe her temper, then spoke into the telephone again. “Is he down there with you?”
“Yeah. There’s been an accident though . . . .”
The sudden crack of lightning overhead cut off the rest of Joe’s sentence.
An accident? Wasn’t it only a few minutes ago she had heard that car screeching down the road? She was on her feet and heading for the door.
“Jackie, stay inside. I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?” he called after her.
“Stay there! I’ll be right back!”
The rain pounded against her as she ran, her only thought being that someone had run over her baby; her baby lying on the road at Joe’s. Her feet had wings as she practically flew over her parents’ property toward the house just beyond. The short distance between frustrated her beyond belief. She had to get to her son, and damn this rain to hell for making her slacks stick to her legs and slow her down.
JUNE 1980
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
June 1980
Maddie watched the waters flowing on either side of the road Bob was driving on; the almost torrential rain was slowing him to a crawl. The bridge they were crossing shook eerily as they slowly made their way to her parents’ house. The pounding water of Shamokin Creek was only two feet from the bottom of the bridge, showing Maddie it must be at least twenty feet deep already. So far the wall along the riverfront in town was holding back the furious muddy waters of the Susquehanna, but no one could tell how long that would last. Since the nineteen-fifties it had held back many floods. It did its job well, saving the town many times, but now it was weakening. If it held it would once again save the town. If even one twenty-foot section of it cracked, destruction would befall the city and the rushing water would level anything in its path. Maddie and Bob had already detoured their normal route out of the city, due to the Shamokin Creek covering about five hundred yards of highway along the northeast exit. The other northern exit had been their final hope, and they had just crossed their last obstacle.
“What a time to be in the middle of a flood. Couldn’t it have waited a week?” Maddie complained tensely.
“Well, I don’t think this hurricane is making any appointments.” Bob watched the road carefully.
“I know. But according to my calender, tonight’s the beginning of my time. These next few nights are crucial.”
“Like I said, the hurricane isn’t waiting for us.” He pulled up the driveway, finally releasing a huge breath when he put the car in park. He looked at her, wearing a smile that said everything was all right now. They had made it.
Maddie grabbed Jackie out of the back seat as she ran up the small hill to the front porch, pausing inside to hold the door for Bob who was behind her with a suitcase. Their coats dripped a small pool of water beneath the rack placed specifically on the enclosed porch for use during the storm.
“Gram! Pap! Guess who came out to sleep with you!” Jackie called as Bob opened the door. The boy raced across the kitchen, but, as he was about to turn the corner for the living room, he bounced back and landed on his rump.
Maddie took a quick step inside. She could see he was all right as he gazed up at the person he had run into; the person still hidden from Maddie’s view.
“Way to go, Jackie. You’re getting as coordinated as your father,” Maddie laughed at the boy. During the past three and a half years she’d found laughter often chased away unnecessary tears. “Hop up, Jackie, or are you renting that tile your butt’s stuck on?”
But the boy continued to stare at the person in front of him until a pair of hands reached out and lifted him. They stood him on his feet and sent him running back to Bob. Maddie recognized those hands immediately, and the sight sent chills through her. Instinctively she took a step back toward her husband. Bob picked up Jackie, then looked at
his wife, taking her hand and squeezing it for reassurance when the man finally stepped into view.
“Joe. It’s been a while. What are you doing down in these parts?” Bob asked with an insincere smile.
“The house is empty. I came down to check on it. Looks like I won’t be able to make it back now.” Though he spoke to Bob, his eyes remained on Maddie.
Maddie felt a flash of anger at that. He wouldn’t even look at his own son! Damn you, Irish—look at him! She moved to the coffee pot, needing something to occupy her nervous hands. Her fingers were already twisting her wedding band, a nervous habit she had picked up after it had left that scar on Joe’s brow.
“It’s empty? Did your cousin move out?” Bob went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of beer, then looked over his shoulder at Joe. “Want one?”
Maddie knew his calm manner was only a front; otherwise he would have left the beer alone. He’d been doing well lately, seeing him take the bottle bothered her.
“No, he didn’t move out. He’s on vacation. He called from out of state and asked me to come down, turn off the gas, and check the cellar.”
“Coffee then?” Maddie asked Joe dully without turning to him.
“Yes.”
“Is my pap in there?!” Jackie asked coldly.
Maddie turned to look at the child. He never spoke to strangers like that, and she didn’t like the idea of him beginning now.
“He’s there,” Joe answered.
His eyes finally moved to Jackie, narrowing his gaze and looking at him closely before the boy jumped off Bob’s lap and ran into the next room.
Maddie placed the cup on the table, wondering at the agitated voices coming from the living room. Her father was angry about something, but she couldn’t understand what. She heard her two brothers and her sister-in-law, but when she took a few steps toward the room, she didn’t see her mother. She looked toward the bathroom and her parents’ bedroom, but both doors were open, showing her that Sarah was in neither place.
Beth moved across the room toward her. “Maddie. Sarah called from work four hours ago and said she was starting home. She isn’t here yet. You know she has to cross the river and a bunch of little creeks before she can even get close to this monster down here.”
“Did anyone go out looking for her?” She absently picked up Jackie when he moved to cling to her legs as he stared at the stranger in the kitchen.
“Where do you suggest we look?” Joe’s sarcastic voice from directly behind Maddie made her jump with a start.
“You shut up!” Jackie told him, and Maddie looked at him in astonishment.
“Jackie!” she said in a breathless scold, then turned to apologize to Joe.
“I see you’re training him well.” Joe took a seat.
The apology was left unsaid.
“C’mere, Sailor.” Her brother sat on the sofa as he held his hands out to the boy, and Jackie reached down until Maddie gave John his nephew. “You’d have to be a sailor in this weather to get your mom and dad out here.” He turned his attention to Joe. “He usually doesn’t act like that. He’s a good kid. Good looking too.”
Maddie watched Joe as he looked at the child again, then got the jest when he saw the great resemblance between the two.
“Jackie, I think you owe him an apology.” Bob moved to stand in the doorway.
“Skip it.” Joe told him.
“My son has manners. He isn’t going to start losing them now.” Bob looked back to the boy. “Jackie?”
“No.” The child squirmed in John’s arms until he made it to the floor, then ran to his grandfather, who was barely listening as he faced the window. “Pap, tell him to go away.”
Jack glanced down at the child and lifted him into his arms, his attention clearly already pointed toward the storm outside. “Tell who . . . what?”
“Never mind,” Maddie told him. “We’ll deal with it later.”
“Did anyone drive down this road and look for her along that route?” Bob asked, then took a long swig from the nearly empty bottle.
“About an hour ago,” said Tom.
“Then I’d say it’s about time we went again.” Bob turned back toward the kitchen.
“Be careful,” Maddie called after Bob and Tom as they started outside again. She moved to the window next to her father, looking toward the steel bridge she and Bob had crossed just ten minutes before. “Dad, look. Do you see that? Is it white? Or yellow? Is it her car?”
Jack was already on his way to his bedroom to retrieve a pair of binoculars. At fifty-five he was a mountain of a man, even though he stood only five-eight; an athletic-appearing man, well-muscled but not bulky. His hair was turning steadily gray now, but otherwise it remained thick. He moved next to the window and looked out. The glasses went down in a flash as he turned and grabbed his coat and started toward the door.
“John, get some rope and let’s go. I think she’s in trouble.”
John and Joe grabbed coats and followed behind Jack as Maddie picked up the glasses and peered through them. It was her mother all right, and it looked as if her car had stalled in the water.
“Oh, Jesus.” She handed the glasses back to Beth and started toward the door, but Jackie let out a wail when he saw his mother leaving him. “It’s okay, Jackie. You can stay here and play with Aunt Beth. I’ll be right back.” She kissed the boy, handed him off to Beth and started out the door.
By the time she got outside, the three men were already halfway down the hill, about two hundred yards ahead of her. She ran after them, but their legs were longer and their pace kept them ahead of her all the way until they finally assembled at one end of the bridge. Everyone was completely drenched from the wind and pounding rain; only the shirts beneath their coats remained partially dry. As she came to within one hundred feet of the bridge, Maddie felt herself quiver with fright. The road rose above surrounding land that was already flooded, making it seem as if she were on a slow-rising ramp going to the middle of nowhere. She looked ahead at the bridge, seeing the water had risen so quickly it was now a river raging across the span of macadam. Sarah’s car sat on the opposite side of the structure, pinned up against the concrete embankment by the force of the water.
“I’m going over. Keep hold of that rope, John! I don’t want to lose her on the way back.” Jack told his son as he took the other end of the rope and started into the water.
John anchored his end of the rope securely against the concrete on his side. Joe watched only a moment, then started in after Jack, a slow process as they pressed through the twenty-four inches of water coming over the bridge’s base. Maddie watched them go, not seeming to breathe until they finally reached the car on the other side. They struggled with the door only twice before reaching in the window, grabbing Sarah and pulling her through the opening. Her arms were around Jack in an instant. Maddie watched the water rapidly nearing three feet as her father secured the rope around her mother. There was some discussion among the three of them, then Jack started across with Sarah as John kept the tension on the rope. Sarah stumbled at the impact of the water, urging Joe to hurry to their aid. When they were nearly halfway across, all three went down, the force of the water knocking their legs out from beneath them. Maddie was in the water in a flash, pulling herself along the rope tied to her mother as John pulled the rope back toward the end of the road where he stood. Maddie was being knocked up against the sides of the bridge, but she couldn’t stop. She had to get to her mother, father and Joe. She saw Joe lifting Sarah up from beneath the depths of the water, but she lost sight of her dad. Blindly she reached under and grabbed his arm just as he was about to go over the edge of the bridge.
“What the hell are you doing?” Joe roared at her when he finally saw her standing there, being knocked about with the others. He let go of Sarah’s rope once he saw she and Jack were on their feet again and struggling to get through the last fifty yards to safety.
Suddenly Maddie felt the bridge lurch. She grabbed
its steel edge to steady herself, her eyes searching for her parents. She saw that Tom and Bob had arrived; they were rushing out through the water and pulling her parents toward them. The bridge twisted, tossing her nearly twenty feet back in the other direction and forcing her underwater, but she was still on the bridge and being pelted against its side. She felt a hand yanking her up by her collar as she gasped for breath then she was being tossed through the air as the bridge took another twisting movement that made the steel feel like children’s putty. The hand stayed on her collar, never letting go, and she knew that man attached to it was nearly drowning the same as she was.
“COME ON!” Came Joe’s roar as he pulled her back in the direction of her mother’s car, now only a few feet from them. “MOVE IT!”
He was dragging her farther back, past the car, back until she was on the road where the water hadn’t reached. What was that noise?! She was choking, trying to breathe as she listened to the sound and saw the stretch of water from which they had just emerged. The bridge gave one last lurch and twist before it collapsed, its splash shoving her parents as well as Bob and Tom down into the water on their side. On her side of the creek it was just enough to lift her mother’s car and send it crashing over the concrete embankment before bouncing down the raging creek like a child’s toy. She screamed as she watched her whole family struggling to survive the water on the other side. Joe grabbed her and held her as he watched silently, waiting until finally, one-by-one they broke the surface and struggled to steady ground, helping John in his fierce effort to pull them all from the water. Nearly three hundred yards separated Maddie and Joe from the rest of the family. If they had been five minutes later, her mother would still be in the submerged car smashing its way through the valley right now. She watched as the men went to Sarah’s aid, making sure she was safe, before they all turned to look back at Joe and Maddie so far away. There was no way back. The combination of the rain and raging waters made any communication between them impossible as Bob stared helplessly at her.