My Heart Can't Tell You No

by M. K. Heffner

  “Oh go stick the hose down your pants. That ought to clean it off,” Joe told him. “If we have to stay out here—so do you.”

  “Stick that hose down his pants; cold as that water is, it’ll kill his sex life for years,” said John.

  “Gram, can I come in?” Robby asked as he walked past the three men.

  “Yeah—us too.” Jackie stepped onto the back porch to join Ollie.

  “Robby can come in, but you two stay out,” said Felicia as she unlocked the door and quickly shut it after the boy ran inside.

  “That’s not fair! He started it!” Jackie shouted.

  “Yeah! He squirted Jackie with the ketchup!” Ollie agreed. “How come he can go in?”

  “Because he’s little.” Felicia told him.

  “Huh.” John moved to the bench on the porch and sat down. “If it’s going according to size, then we’ve got a long wait ahead of us.”

  “At least you can sit down,” said Tom, then looked up at Joe, not talking about height anymore. “But if it’s according to size then Joe should go next.”

  “No, she said smallest first,” Joe argued, looking at the much taller Tom, and John who was close to his height. “That would make me last.”

  “Yeah, that’s not what we heard,” Tom retorted. “I heard Jackie will even have to wait for you to get cleaned off before he can go in.”

  “Well, boys,” Sarah said through the screen door behind her youngest son, startling him as he jumped in surprise and moved to the other side of the men. “I’ve diapered every one of you out there and if that’s the criteria, I think Felicia should have kept Robby outside until last.”

  “That comes from the Baker side of the family,” Tom said to the other men, nodding his head smugly as his mother went back into the kitchen and out of their view. “Yep. There’s a Baker for ya!” he puffed.

  “Jeez, Joe, you’re gonna have some wash to do today,” said John as he looked down at the grass and mustard stains on his shorts.

  “And what makes ya think I’m gonna do the wash?” Joe asked.

  “Hell—if I try to take these clothes up to Beth, she’d strangle me with them.”

  “That’s right,” Beth sang under her breath.

  “Well, we could always go butter up Maddie,” Joe suggested

  Maddie glanced over at her mother with raised brows as she lifted her son into the kitchen sink and began stripping off his clothes.

  “Yeah—you make her extra happy tonight and she’ll do laundry for us,” agreed Tom. “Evidently size doesn’t matter to Maddie.”

  This brought a quick shove from Joe, landing Tom on the bench with a squish and a sickly moan from the younger man as he was reintroduced to smashed food.

  “I’m glad I’m down here to hear all this,” Maddie said quietly to her mom and Beth, then started filling the sink with warm water. “Beth, wanna go in the bathroom and check for some shampoo and a washcloth and towel.”

  “All right. We can take another one,” Sarah told the five males who were sitting and standing around the porch. “Ollie or Jackie? Which will it be?”

  “Ollie can wait.” Felicia opened the door and let Jackie through, then went back to listening to the men outside.

  “Joe, your yard looks like the city dump,” John told him. “I don’t know if I wanna be seen eating down here again. What are you going to do with all this garbage?”

  “I was thinking about getting the boys to pick it up and take it up to your and Tom’s doorstep.”

  “You can think again,” Sarah called out to them. “Remember that Tom’s doorstep is my doorstep.”

  “That settles it. We’ll take it all down and dump it on Maddie’s doorstep,” John laughed.

  “I don’t think she’d like that very much,” said Sarah.

  “It’ll be too late by the time she finds out, so what could she do?” Joe asked.

  John chuckled as he looked at Joe. “Let’s put it this way—you may make her happy tonight. But after she steps into that gunk in the morning, you might as well not worry about what size you are. You might as well turn it over to someone who will be able to use it.”

  “Forget Maddie’s doorstep,” laughed Tom. “The poor guy just turned ghost-white at the thought of being cut off.” He took a few steps off the porch to the bathroom window. “Come on, Jackie! Make it fast! This is starting to dry and get stiff!”

  His last comment brought bursts of laughter from the other two men.

  “So that’s what does it for ya, huh, Tom?” John asked. “Should we call you Mr. Potato Head from now on?”

  Maddie saw the way Ollie and Felicia were listening to every word, but their confused expressions told her they weren’t quite sure what they were hearing.

  Beth came out and handed the shampoo, washcloth and towel to Maddie. “I put some shampoo in Jackie’s hair while I was in there. He should be out soon.”

  “Hold you head back and hold this over your eyes.” Maddie gave the washcloth to Robby and began to wash his hair—then quickly cleaned his body.

  “I’m done.” Jackie entered the kitchen with a towel around his waist.

  “Ollie, your turn,” Sarah called.

  “You’re done too,” said Maddie as she dried Robby’s hair then wrapped the towel around him so he could stand.

  “We’ve got an empty sink in here if any of you big babies want me to give you a bath,” Sarah called through the door.

  “Go ahead, Tom—you’re her baby boy,” Joe told him.

  “Yeah—but John’s her pet,” said Tom.

  “Like hell. Everyone knows Joe’s her pet,” John countered.

  “If I wanted someone to give me a bath, I’d call Maddie and go up the road and get it done right,” Joe told them.

  “Hey, that’s an idea, Beth isn’t doing anything right now,” John said. “Looks like you’re stuck with Mom anyway, Tom.”

  “Rather depressing when your own mother has to put such ideas into their heads, isn’t it?” Maddie asked Beth, then took the shampoo to the bathroom door where she knocked loudly. “Ollie—here’s the shampoo.”

  The door opened inches as he blindly reached out. She smiled as she put it in his hand, hearing the shower running behind him as she started back to the kitchen.

  “Beth, can you keep an eye on these two while I run up and get them some clean clothes? I’ll stop in and get some for John and Tom too.”

  “Yeah, go ahead.”

  CHAPTER XXV

  Maddie returned to find that not only had Ollie changed clothes, but Felicia was not wearing the stylish clothes she had been wearing all day. Instead, she had on a pair of cut-off jeans and a boy’s shirt. Her hair was no longer up, but flowing over her left shoulder in a braid similar to the style Maddie had been wearing since stepping out of the shower earlier that day. Maddie tried not to be obvious as she noticed Felicia’s change. Then she distributed all of the boys’ and men’s clothing, except John’s.

  “Where’s John?” she asked Beth.

  “In the bathroom. He let Joe go in first, because Joe got it worse.”

  “You wanna take these in to him?”

  “Just put them outside the door and knock,” Beth told her.

  Maddie went down the hall past the rooms Joe’s children occupied, then down the smaller hall to the bathroom, noticing Joe’s bedroom door was closed.

  “John. Your clothes are out here.” She knocked then put them on a pile on the floor.

  Before she could fully straighten, Joe grabbed her from behind and pulled her through the bedroom doorway.

  “I thought you said you wouldn’t be down.” Joe closed the door, his arms staying around her waist as he pulled her back against him and playfully gyrated against her firm bottom.

  “Are you disappointed?” She leaned her head back against his shoulder.

  “Are you?”

  “No. I’m thinking about sneaking down more often to watch you attack my brothers.”

  “I’d rathe
r attack their little sister.” He pulled her to the bed, lying side by side and dipping his head down to nuzzle her throat and shoulder.

  “Yes. I heard how you were going to come up tonight and make me happy.”

  “Ya did huh?” He smiled over at her, his expression irresistible as she leaned over to press a kiss to his lips.

  “I also heard how you paled at the thought of being cut off.”

  “I’ll admit that thought was a bit frightening,” he said, his fingers plucking at the front of her shirt as he peeked inside.

  “For you, I’ll bet it was.”

  “Hey, I’ve been known to go without it for months!”

  “So you say.”

  “You have your doubts?” he asked as his hand continued its journey to cup a very tantalizing breast.

  “Big doubts. Every time I remember the night we . . . well let’s put it this way . . . your actions with me don’t convince me.”

  “Well, it was during those dry spells that you and I were living at least forty miles apart. I’m just making up for lost time. You must be too. The men have been commenting on my condition at work. They say I look worn out—but strangely happy.”

  “I’ll bet,” she smiled.

  “They have been.”

  “Are you saying I’m wearing you out?” Her hands moved over his chest to his shoulders.

  “Not yet. But you can keep trying if ya like.”

  “I like.” Her hand moved to his damp hair. “How were the boys? Before Robby found the wonders of a plastic ketchup bottle, that is.”

  “Robby was working at charming the socks off of Felicia, while Jackie was involved in a deep conversation with Ollie over the proper technique for catching a fly ball.”

  “Then they’re getting along?”

  “It’s hard to say really. Felicia and Ollie aren’t exactly getting along with me. I get the feeling they’re just tolerating me. But no, there aren’t any problems.”

  “Hurry up in there!” A loud knocking accompanied Tom’s voice. “We already know it won’t work to butter her up, so ya might as well forget it, McNier!”

  “So much for hiding in my bedroom,” Joe breathed.

  “I’m sure everyone knows where we are by now.” She moved to get off the bed, rebuttoning her blouse as she turned to look down at him. “I like your quilt. Where’d ya get it?”

  “You should know. But thank you, I like it too.”

  “She told you that she asked for me personally?” Maddie asked.

  “No. Did she? I didn’t even know she knew you.”

  “She must have known me. But I didn’t know her. She told me her name was Phyllis. Rodney said she had been in before, but I wasn’t there, so she wouldn’t buy anything. I didn’t have any idea why she wanted to see me. But now that I know who she really is, I figure she just wanted to see her dad’s old buddy’s sister. I imagine she heard enough about John and Jackie from your old football days.”

  “Not from me, she didn’t. If she heard about my days playing football, it was from her grandparents, not me.”

  “Why not?” She moved back to the edge of the bed and sat next to him.

  “She wouldn’t be interested.”

  “Why not? It’s part of your past. Why wouldn’t she be interested? Don’t you talk about your past with her?”

  “No, not really.”

  “Joe! How can you have a parental relationship if she doesn’t even know John broke your nose when you were thirteen?”

  “I was fourteen, and it was Tom who broke my nose when he hit me in the face with his skates.”

  “What skates? We never had money for skates when we were small.”

  “He found them over at Lew’s, on the dump. They were three sizes too big but he wore them anyway. Bob and him were fighting over them and Tom won, only when Bob left go, the skates flew back over Tom’s shoulder and right into my face.” He sat up and put his feet on the floor. “What do ya say we lock the door and tell everyone to go home?”

  “I believe two of them are home and another two would have no one to go home to. So what do you say we go out so they stop wondering what we’re doing in here?” She took his hand and started for the bedroom door, but upon opening it, released his hand and stepped out in front of him.

  “We were wondering if you were going to come out of there today,” Sarah said from the couch in the living room.

  “He was showing me the quilt Felicia got for him.” Maddie moved to sit next to her.

  “Yeah, I bet that’s what he was showing her,” Tom said quietly and received a quick nudge from his mother.

  “Where’d you get it, Felicia?” Sarah asked the girl who was standing near the front door.

  “I bought it from Mrs. Green.”

  “Did you ever see such red hair?” Beth interrupted.

  “Isn’t it beautiful?” Maddie said absently, but when the girl looked at her with surprised eyes she realized what she had said.

  “Yeah, listen to her,” Beth commented. “Take her out in the sun and she has the same color hair.”

  “I do not,” Maddie laughed. “I would have loved red hair, but all I got was this ordinary dark brown.”

  “It’s black,” Joe commented as he walked back from the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

  “And I say it’s red.” Beth got to her feet and grabbed Maddie’s hand, pulling her over until she was standing next to Felicia with the sun shining on them through the front door. “Now, what color is that?”

  “Is this what women talk about when they get together?” Tom complained.

  “Oh shut up. At least we don’t stuff baked potatoes down our underwear,” Beth told him then turned to Sarah. “Can you see what color it is?”

  “It has an auburn tint, like my Mom’s did,” Sarah smiled at her daughter-in-law, having known all along exactly what color it was. “It’s good to see you got more than just your grandmother’s Irish temper.”

  “You Irish, Mom?” Joe asked. “I thought you were German.”

  “Mom’s side was Irish. She got her temper from her father as well as the red hair. Maddie only has slight traces of the red.”

  “Well, she doesn’t have slight traces of the temper, that’s for sure,” Joe said, looking over at her as she examined her hair in the sunlight with Beth and Felicia, comparing the coloring with his daughter. “But I’ve known the wrath of Jack Baker a few times too, so I wouldn’t lay all the blame on your mother.”

  “What was your mom’s maiden name, Joe?” Sarah asked.

  “O’Ryan. Dad brought her back from Ireland after the war.”

  “Do you have pictures of her?” Maddie asked, wondering if she would see anything in her sons that came from their paternal grandmother.

  “Somewhere around here. Probably in the bottom of the cabinet over there.”

  Maddie sat on the floor in front of the cabinet and opened drawers and doors until she came to a box with faded snapshots inside.

  “I’m going out to play ball.” Ollie came from his bedroom with two mitts and a ball, stopping when he saw Felicia. “What happened to you? Ya just step out of a slop box?”

  “Leave her alone. She has the same clothes on that you do,” Joe scolded him.

  “I know, but she never dresses like I do. She says I’m a slob when I dress like this.”

  “I can change my mind if I want to, can’t I?” Felicia asked hotly.

  “I don’t care if ya do or not. C’mon, Jackie, lets go play ball,” he said, then went outside with Jackie following him.

  Maddie moved to the opposite end of the couch from her mother, trying to ignore the conversation that had just taken place. It was becoming more and more apparent that the girl’s change of clothing had something to do with her. Except for the difference in shirt colors, and the fact that Felicia’s sneakers were clean and new—their clothing was almost identical. As she opened the box, the five-by-seven portrait of a beautiful red-haired girl of about twenty caught her eye.


  “Oh, Joe,” Maddie sighed. “She was beautiful.”

  Joe moved to stand next to her, looking down at the picture. Taking it from her, he silently moved until he was sitting between Maddie and Sarah. The next snapshots made Maddie look at them twice. They were Felicia but taken forty years before the girl was born. She looked at each one carefully, comparing them to the girl who was trying to be inconspicuous across the room, only occasionally glancing in Maddie and Joe’s direction. Joe was still looking at the five-by-seven with Sarah, but he turned his attention to Maddie when she nudged his side. A nod toward Felicia as she handed the pictures to Joe said it all.

  “I knew she got the hair from her, but I never realized the resemblance was this close. Felicia, come here,” Joe called to his daughter.

  Maddie saw the anxious glance she sent their way. It was her guess the girl was dying to see the pictures and was waiting to be invited to look at them. Maddie made room for the girl to sit next to her father as he handed her the five-by-seven first.

  “What do you think?” he asked as she hesitantly sat between them.

  “This is my grandmother?” she asked with wonder.

  “Yes.”

  “I think she was very beautiful.” She looked very hard at the picture. “May we hang it out? On a wall? Or on a table or cabinet?”

  “If you want to.” He handed her the snapshots of the gangly adolescent with the beautiful face. “Here. What do you think of these?”

  The girl’s eyes widened in surprise. “Who is this?”

  “That’s her when she was about your age,” Joe told his daughter.

  “You mean—I’ll look like this when I get older?!” She held up the five-by-seven.

  “I would imagine. What do you think Mom? You ever see a case like that? Where they looked so much alike as kids?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact I did.” The look she gave Maddie cut her breath short. “Jackie. You should know that.”

  “Yeah. John and Tom’s oldest brother Jackie looked just like Jack,” Joe told Felicia.

  “Was he handsome?” she asked.

  “Ask your mom,” John spoke up. “She went out with him a few times.”