My Heart Can't Tell You No

by M. K. Heffner

  “Don’t I have none left?” Robby looked at him through concerned eyes, bringing a smile to Jackie’s lips as he reached over and nudged his brother’s face with a gentle finger.

  “Sure ya got some left. They only took a little,” he smiled, his inspection of his brother complete before he went about his homework for that day.

  Maddie was just coming from her shower that night when she noticed how intently Jackie was staring at Joe and Robby as he sat on the floor on the other end of the couch. Joe wasn’t paying much attention as he held Robby and kissed the top of the boy’s mop of black hair. Maddie could see the pain rip through Jackie’s face as he watched them, but it was no sooner there than he turned away and went back to watching television.

  “I think we can get rid of these towels,” Joe told her as he reached for her hand. “He hasn’t gone above a hundred and two since six tonight.”

  “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try clothes on him a while. If it doesn’t stay down, we can always go back to the towels.”

  “How about it, Buddy? You want to wear regular clothes again?”

  “Uh-huh.” Robby leaned against Joe’s chest as they watched television.

  “I’ll get them.” Jackie got to his feet quickly.

  Maddie could see the eagerness in Jackie’s eyes as he looked at his baby brother. “Okay. But make it a pair of underwear and a thin pair of pajamas.”

  “I will.” He instantly moved for their bedroom, coming back quickly with the clothing. “Here, I’ll help ya put them on, Robby.”

  “I can do it,” Joe told him, taking the clothes and removing the towel.

  Jackie turned angry eyes on Joe before glancing back at Maddie, but, before she could respond, he was on his way to bed for the night. She watched him go. There was nothing she could do anymore. In the past month since he had discovered the truth about Joe, she had watched his irritation grow into a heavy anger. She had tried to talk things out with him, but nothing could convince him to give Joe a chance. She finally decided there never would be anything she could do. It was up to Joe, and it was up to Jackie.

  “You ready for another dose of your medicine?” Maddie had noticed the time when Jackie left for bed.

  “No,” he told her as he put his legs into his underwear then his pajama bottoms before being lifted an inch or two so Joe could draw them up over his small hips.

  “Yes, you are,” Joe told him. “Look how much it helped you already. You’re back to wearing regular clothes. Maybe by tomorrow you’ll be able to go out for a while.”

  Maddie refilled his juice glass and carried the medicine back to him, but before she could open the first bottle he climbed off of Joe’s lap and started for the hall. “Where are you going?”

  “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “Well, that’s a good sign,” Joe told her. “It’ll be the third time since dinner.”

  “Speaking of dinner, where are you going to talk me into going?” Maddie asked.

  “You mean with Lew? What does that have to do with dinner?”

  “You didn’t hang up until nearly dinner. Good thing it wasn’t long distance.”

  “To the football game. He said he hasn’t been able to go to any this year because of his foot. But he said he’d try to make it from the car to the bleachers if we drive him down to the stadium. Do you want to go along?”

  “And ruin the boys’ night out?”

  “It never stopped ya before,” he told her, then allowed Robby to climb back up onto the couch with him as Maddie gave him his antibiotic.

  As Maddie came back from returning the medicine she sat with Joe and their youngest son, watching them as they watched television. They were such a handsome pair. She only wished her other handsome prince would be able to join them instead of isolating himself as he was. Joe glanced over at her, emotion lighting his eyes as he looked at her. She knew she had never felt safer as he watched her. He lifted her hand to his lips, gently kissing it before looking back to the television while his thumb continued its stroking. She leaned her head back against the couch as she looked at him, the knowledge that her son was on his way to recovery filling her with a relief she hadn’t felt since the day before. She didn’t know how she would have handled it if it hadn’t been for Joe. He was there; he was taking care of them, and she knew she had never loved or needed anyone as much as she did this man.

  CHAPTER XXX

  It was mild for mid-October, the thermometer dropping only to the high thirties at night. Joe and Maddie came out that evening with only a light jacket, Lew wore an insulated vest as he slowly maneuvered his crutches up the bleachers.

  “You sit between us,” Lew told Joe. “I remember the last time the three of us came to a game. If she still gets as excited as she used to, she’s bound to knock me off the bleachers.”

  “I wasn’t that bad,” Maddie said as she sat on the opposite side of Joe.

  “Don’t bet on it.” Joe took her hand and put it in his pocket as they waited for the kickoff. Her long fingers were already slightly cold, and he took simple pleasure in wrapping his even longer ones around them to keep them warm. “When I went home that night I was full of bruises.”

  “If you got bruises, Buster, it wasn’t from what happened inside the stadium,” she said absently, then turned slightly red when she realized she had brought up the evening she was in Joe’s car in front of Lew.

  Joe smiled over at her, seeing her embarrassment, and knowing what had caused it as Lew’s chuckle drifted over to them.

  “I always wondered why neither of you came back to the field. I suspected as much.”

  “Well, don’t suspect too much—because not much happened,” Maddie told him.

  “Hell, I don’t doubt that. Poor guy had to practically be ordered to follow after you. Without anyone there to instruct him, he wasn’t about to take it any further once he got ya alone.”

  “So he had to be ordered to follow me, did he?” Maddie looked at Joe with raised brows.

  “Well, it’s a good thing I was. That pervert that had you in his car wasn’t about to let you off as easily as I did.”

  “That pervert is now one of those coaches down there. And, if I remember correctly, you didn’t exactly let me off easily.”

  “Well, I hope you’re happy, Lew. You got her blood boiling.” Joe looked over at the forty-nine-year-old man.

  “All I have to do to get her blood boiling is put her in the same room as you.”

  “Is that a compliment?” Joe smiled.

  “Leave it to you to take it as one,” Lew smiled back. “No. I was talking about her temper.”

  “Is that how you knew we’d end up together? Because he could get my blood boiling?” Maddie asked sarcastically.

  “You’re not together yet. You’ve got secrets to be told before you can really be together.”

  Joe looked over at him as Lew held his crutches in front of him, his eyes cast toward the field. “And what secrets are there to be told?”

  “Oh.” Lew looked a little uneasy as he glanced over at Maddie, then let a mischievous sparkle enter his eyes. “Just little things, like she snores.”

  “She doesn’t snore,” Joe said flatly.

  “She does when she drinks.”

  “She doesn’t drink either.”

  “Then how do you know she doesn’t snore? You should hear her when she gets a good snoot full. Ya’d think she was cutting down a forest.”

  “I do not,” Maddie laughed, her hand tightening again on Joe’s. “When I used to drink I was lucky if I had enough energy to breathe, let alone snore.”

  “Yeah, that’s what you think. You’d come over some nights and snore so loud you’d get me out of bed so my ass would be dragging for work the next day.”

  “I did not!” Maddie laughed again.

  “What are you talking about? She doesn’t drink.” Joe eyed Lew with wonder.

  “Maybe not now. But she sure did when she was younger. You should have
seen her the night we came to that game together. She came home about an hour after I did. She looked like she must have drank a half keg all by herself.”

  “You didn’t go over to Janet like you said?” Joe’s gaze flew to Maddie.

  “No,” she said in a tone that told him to calm down. “I went out and got drunk.”

  “With who? Your coach down there?”

  “Her coach isn’t down there by the looks of it. Here he comes now.” Lew was watching a slim man of Maddie’s age coming up the bleachers toward them. Gone was the long hair and ragged clothes to be replaced with crisp jeans and a coach’s jacket with hair trimmed respectably.

  “Lyn? Is that you?” His voice had also changed to a huskiness.

  “Hi, Ron,” Maddie smiled up at him.

  “Coach Savage said he thought he saw you up this way. I’m glad you could make it. I haven’t seen you for a while.”

  Joe looked up at him, feeling as if the short hair at the back of his neck was bristling. “She’s been away.”

  “Well, if this isn’t a familiar scene,” Ron said as he recognized Joe and Lew. “All we need now is Bowes and the gathering would be complete.”

  “Yeah, too bad Bowes isn’t here,” Joe said flatly, not quite remembering the other boy who had been with them, and not really caring to remember him. “Why don’t ya go get him.”

  “Bowes is dead, Joe,” Maddie said quietly. “He died that winter. It was a wake-up call to the rest of us and put us back on track, I think.”

  “I know it’s what straightened me out. He was sleeping at my house when it happened. In my bed as a matter of fact. I guess I should be glad I was otherwise occupied in another bedroom at the time. It was a terrible thing walking in and finding him like that the next morning. He was my best friend,” Ron explained grimly.

  “I didn’t happen to know who was occupying you in that other room, did I?” Joe asked calmly enough, but there was a tenseness about his words that brought a smile to Ron’s face.

  “No. I don’t think so. You let me know the night of that game how things were between you and Lyn. I didn’t want to risk ever having my nose broken again.”

  “Broken nose?” Joe looked at him through different eyes, having been assured his relationship with Maddie hadn’t gone very far. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to break your nose.”

  “Right,” Ron laughed. “Just like I didn’t intend to hit you in the head. Don’t worry about it. It was a long time ago. We all came out the better by the looks of it. I think the broken nose is what helped me get this job. Makes me look a little more rugged than I did before, don’t ya think?”

  “How’s Elaine, Ron?” Maddie asked.

  “I’d say barefoot and pregnant, but if she got wind of it she’d have me in the doghouse for the rest of the month. She’s doing fine. Pregnant with our fourth.” He seemed to beam down at Maddie letting Joe know he had nothing to worry about. “I swear, she looks more beautiful with each pregnancy.”

  “You’ve got three sons, don’t you?”

  “Mmm. She’s hoping for a daughter. So am I, I guess. But I told her to keep trying and we’ll have our own baseball team in a few years.”

  “How does she feel about that?” Maddie laughed.

  “She told me to go stick it in a knothole a while,” he said sheepishly, a pink tint highlighting his forehead. “I don’t think she means it. Well, I better get back down there before they start the game. It was nice seeing you again, Lyn.”

  “See ya, Ron. Tell Elaine I said hello.”

  “Who’s Elaine?” Joe asked quietly as Ron was halfway down the bleachers. “Not the same girl that was with him that night.”

  “The one and only. It seems she won his heart when she tended to his broken nose and got him to the hospital. She got pregnant that year with their first child. They got married and settled down, remarkably. She even went to nursing school between babies. She works in the delivery room up at the hospital.”

  “And you went out and got drunk that night. And you knew she came in drunk?” Joe looked back at Lew.

  “Sure I knew. She didn’t do it often.”

  “And you didn’t do anything?”

  “I put her up on my couch for the night. What did you want me to do?”

  “God, you’re both making me sound like I’m the town lush! I don’t even drink anymore! Didn’t either of you ever get drunk when you were teenagers?”

  “That was different. It was expected; I was a boy,” Joe remarked.

  “Oh,” Lew laughed. “Well, step into the second half of the twentieth century. Equal rights ya know. Girls now have just as much right to the dry-heaves as the boys.” He looked over at Joe and nudged him in the side. “See—I told ya there were always secrets ya didn’t know. So, why ain’t you two married yet?”

  “She didn’t ask me,” Joe told him.

  “Well if you both keep waiting on each other to ask—I’ll never live to be at your wedding.”

  “You’ll be there,” Maddie told him. “You’re gonna outlive us all.”

  “How’s Robby? Sarah says he’s doing a lot better this week,” Lew changed the subject.

  “He had a bladder infection, but he’s doing fine. He’s still on antibiotics, but he’s up and around. He hasn’t had a fever for days,” Joe told him.

  “That’s what Sarah said. She also said he tried to bite your hand off at the doctor’s office. Something to do with biting the bullet,” Lew chuckled.

  “You wouldn’t have thought it was so funny if it happened to you. There I was with a kid on my lap, grinding his teeth into my finger while he had a needle sticking out of his arm. I had no choice but to let him bite until the damn nurse took the needle out. I think she kept it in as long as she could.”

  “Sarah said he’s calling you dad now. What’s Jackie calling ya?”

  “My guess is just about anything he can under his breath,” Joe smiled.

  “He is not,” Maddie said quietly.

  “Not getting along with him, huh?” Lew asked. “Well, give it time. He’s a good kid. He likes just about everyone. He’s just used to being the man around the house. You’re taking his job away. He’ll get used to it soon. How’s Sarah been?”

  “You should know. You talk to her every day,” Maddie smiled.

  “I know. We’re thinking about starting up a game of five-hundred over the phone,” He smiled back. “You know Sarah, she never says if anything’s wrong with her. I worry a lot about her now that I don’t get to actually see her as much as I used to.”

  “She’s okay, I guess,” Maddie sighed. “Now that it’s cooling down, she’s getting better. This summer it was hard on her. We almost took her up to the hospital two or three times, but she’s so damn stubborn that she wouldn’t go.”

  “You don’t want to play around with her, Maddie. If you think she needs to go—you take her whether she wants to go or not. I trust you. I think you see things in her no one else does. You know when she’s sick. You know when she’s having pain when the others don’t notice—don’t ya?”

  “Yes,” Maddie said slowly, wondering how he knew.

  “It’s that way with some kids. My oldest daughter’s that way with me. It’s a bond. You just know. So, I’m putting Sarah in your hands. I’ll expect you to take care of her.”

  Joe watched this man who was usually filled with laughter, now with a contemplative expression on his face as he gazed out at the field. He looked over at Maddie, seeing she was just as puzzled as he, as she watched her uncle.

  “I will,” she assured him.

  “About time they got out here.” Lew gestured toward the teams lining up for the kickoff. “It’s starting to get cold.”

  “What are you doing?” Maddie’s surprised laugh came as Joe slung her over his shoulder and started down the hall toward her bedroom.

  “If you don’t know by now, then you’re one helluva slow learner.” He dumped her on the bed, then dropped down beside her, trapping
her under him as he quickly moved to lie on top of her. “Is it coming back now?”

  “Mm-hmm.” Her eyes smiled up at him as her fingers held onto his open collar. “Very quickly.”

  “I thought it might.” He couldn’t stop the smile that was lighting his eyes as he watched her. Her nose still a little pink from the cold outside; her eyes dark embers that burned only for him; her lips perfectly curved softness that could turn him to helplessness with their provocativeness. With her hair spread about her from her fall to the mattress, she had an innocence that took him back nine years to another football game where her biggest concern was having him teach her to kiss. His hand lifted to her hair, stroking its softness as he brushed his lips over her still cool cheek. “My God, Maddie, you are beautiful.”

  “This doesn’t have anything to do with Ron? Does it?” Her arms were around him.

  “Forget about Ron. I don’t want to talk about him,” he told her, then saw the amusement in her eyes. “If you’re asking if I said that because I was jealous of Ron, no, not completely.”

  “Are you saying you were jealous?”

  “You know I was—so why ask?”

  “To hear you say it. Thank you, I’m flattered.”

  Her smile spread to her lips, making them irresistible. He didn’t hesitate to meet them with his own, drinking from them as if he were a man dying of thirst, his need of her as strong as it had been nine years earlier.

  The knock at the front door brought Maddie’s head back from him, but his hands caught her to resume the kiss that was turning his loins to a steady throb.

  “Let it go,” he whispered to her.

  “I can’t.” She kissed him quickly, then shifted from beneath him. “What if it’s Mom? You don’t want her standing out there in the cold.”

  “What would Mom be doing down here at eleven o’clock at night? And we just saw her when we picked up the boys.” He rolled onto his back, watching her a second as she started out of the room before getting up to follow her.

  “Beth?” Maddie opened the door for her sister-in-law to enter. “Is something wrong up at the house?”