My Heart Can't Tell You No

by M. K. Heffner

  “You okay yet?” he asked gently.

  “I’m getting there,” she said weakly as she lifted her head and looked at them, the sudden elevation sending her head back to the table to rest on her arm.

  “You look it.” He continued to drench the child as Robby, remarkably, sat quietly watching them. “I want you to go lie down on the couch since you’re too stubborn to go to bed.”

  “I—I have to give him some medicine in an hour and a half. I have to get Jackie up for school soon and get him ready.”

  “I’m not totally incompetent, ya know. Go lie down. I’ll give him his medicine and see that Jackie gets up for school.”

  “But he has an appointment soon.”

  She needed her rest desperately, but she had things to do and didn’t really believe she could sleep once she would lie down.

  “I’ll wake you. Right now I want you to get at least ninety minutes of sleep. If not for your own sake, then for his. It won’t do us any good if you get sick too.” He looked back at her, then went on, after seeing her hesitation. “Go. I’ll get you up if I can’t handle anything.”

  She stood up slowly, gently stroking Joe’s back as she stared down at their youngest son. Robby looked back at her blankly, without recognition in his eyes. She felt the tears at the back of her throat, not knowing if it was his fever or his exhaustion making him look at her as if she were a stranger.

  “Mommy, I don’t feel good,” Robby said quietly, but the words sounded sweetly in her ears.

  “I know, baby.” She smiled sympathetically as she touched his cheek. “But you’re going to the doctor’s soon, and he’ll make you feel better.”

  “Now tell your mom to go in and lie down before she gets sick too,” Joe told him.

  “Are you sick, Mommy? Will Daddy have to put you in the sink too?”

  “Not if she listens and goes in on the couch.”

  “You better go, Mommy.”

  She fought the lump rising in her throat, her eyes burning from unshed tears as she looked down at him. How much of this he would remember once he was well again, she hadn’t a clue. She leaned down and kissed his face, feeling the difference his short time in the water had made already. As she straightened, Joe reached for her with one arm while he held Robby steady with the other. He pulled her against him, the feel of his strength flowing into her and releasing some of her tension. His lips brushed across hers before taking full possession. The kiss ended, but he continued to hold her as his eyes met hers.

  “I love you, Maddie. And I love this guy more than I thought was possible. So try not to lie in there worrying. I’ll be doing everything you would for him. Try to get some rest.”

  She slowly moved into the living room, where she no sooner had her head on the couch than she was spinning into an exhausted sleep.

  “Maddie, you can bring Robby in now,” said a short, very plain-looking nurse from the doorway leading to the examining rooms.

  Plain though she was, she was extremely well-liked by all her patients. She had a personality that shone.

  “Are you coming along?” Maddie stood up with her son sleeping in her arms.

  “If you want me too.” Joe put down a magazine and followed her.

  “I may need you. He doesn’t care for it in here as it is.”

  “Looks like you’re first today.” The nurse patted the examining table and reached to the shelf beneath for a sheet. “You can lay him down a while, Maddie. It’s a little cool in here, so you can cover him with this after you’ve undressed him.”

  The nurse turned her back to them as she went about preparing instruments at the counter. Maddie glanced over as she removed his shirt, seeing the long swab being laid out for the doctor. ‘Robby isn’t going to like that,’ she thought a she looked at the preparation for a throat culture. Joe took the clothing as she removed them from Robby, finally having him bare on the sheets before covering him. He started to rouse as he felt the coolness of the room, noticing for the first time where he was as his arms reached for her in desperation.

  “Mommy! I wanna go home! Take me up to Gram’s!” he said in a rush.

  “Hi, Robby. You finally woke up,” the nurse said cheerfully as she turned around with a thermometer in hand and smiled sincerely at the boy.

  “Hi, Nadie,” Robby answered unenthusiastically.

  “I hear you’ve caught a bug.”

  “Daddy tried to kill it last night. He told me. Can’t I go home and let Daddy kill it?”

  The boy’s comment brought an amused glint to the nurse’s eyes. “Can’t me and Dr. Potter help kill it too? We don’t like seeing you sick like this. We just want to help.”

  “But I wanna go home,” Robby tried to say calmly, but the sound came out in a quiet wail.

  “You want to go see your Gramma,” the nurse smiled. “I bet if you let us check you out, Mommy and, um, Daddy will take you to see Gramma.”

  “Will you?” He looked soulfully up at Maddie.

  “Sure, if you want to,” she answered.

  “Now, do you think you’re big enough to hold this under your tongue for me for a few minutes?” The nurse held out the thermometer and he nodded slowly, allowing her to slip it into his mouth. “I bet Jackie’s just about ready to get on the bus about now.”

  “He’s home,” Robby slurred, trying gallantly to keep the instrument under his tongue.

  “The bus won’t come for another half hour,” Maddie explained when the nurse looked up at her, silently asking if Jackie was also sick.

  “It’s almost time for your big brother to come in here for a check-up. Then you can stay at home while he’s in here getting his temperature taken. It’s been a while since you’ve been in too, so I’m kinda glad you came in today. I was starting to miss you. You’re one of Dr. Potter’s most handsome patients.”

  Maddie smiled softly as Robby glanced back at her. He had been listening to every word Nadine said, and evidently it was sinking in enough to swell his head a little. He looked back at the tiny woman to hear more.

  “I wish I had a little boy with such black hair and big brown eyes,” Nadine continued. “I bet all the little girls chase you. I guess I can’t blame them though. You’re so cute they just want to squeeze and hug you to bits. How’s that feel in there? Still got it under your tongue?”

  Robby nodded again.

  “Okay, now you keep that in there for a few minutes longer and I’ll take it out real soon.” She reached for the chart and started updating the records. After a few minutes she reached for the boy again to remove the thermometer. “Boy, you really do have a fever, don’t you?”

  “Uh-huh,” he answered.

  “Then I guess I better go tell Dr. Potter and let him come in and take a look at you.” She smiled, then went out the door, coming back shortly with a stout man of about forty-five years. He smiled his greeting to Maddie, glanced curiously at Joe, then pointed his attention to Robby.

  “Hey there, Robby. How ya feeling?” His voice was loud but friendly.

  “Sick.”

  “I bet too you’re sick.” He turned to look at Maddie. “Do you think you could get a urine specimen for me in a few minutes?”

  Maddie was about to nod her head but, it occurred to her that the boy hadn’t urinated the whole night before.

  “I—I don’t know. He hasn’t gone to the bathroom since late last night.”

  “Did he have much to drink?” Dr. Potter asked as he felt the boy’s throat.

  “He’s been drinking juice when he’s been awake. Probably about two cups full.”

  “What do ya say, Robby? Think ya can hold your mouth open long enough for me to tickle it with this big cotton swab?” he asked the boy, then turned and looked at Maddie and Joe. “Maybe you two better get on either side of him just in case.”

  Maddie moved to the far side, holding his hand with one of hers while resting her other hand on his shoulder. Joe moved to rest his hand on the other shoulder while gently stroking the
boy’s hair with his other hand. Nadine handed the long swab to the doctor, and he reached toward the youngster’s mouth.

  “Open up real wide, and say ahhh.”

  Robby did what he was told, but when the doctor tried for a smear the boy gagged and started to turn away, tightening Joe’s grip on his head until the doctor was finished. Maddie felt the tightening in her own throat when her son’s grip clamped fiercely on her hand and she saw tears fill his eyes.

  “There, now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  “Yes,” he cried.

  Dr. Potter laughed softly. “Yeah, I suppose it was. But you were a big man about it. You handled it very well. How’s your belly feel? Can you tell me if I hurt you when I press down here?”

  Maddie looked up at Joe as the doctor went about probing the boy’s abdomen but Joe was deeply involved in what was happening to his son. When the child whimpered at the touch of his lower abdomen, Maddie winced as well.

  “Do you think you could get a urine specimen from him?” the doctor asked Joe.

  “I don’t know. I’ll try.”

  Nadine handed Joe the proper equipment needed and showed him to the men’s restroom. Maddie watched as the doctor wrote some notes in Robby’s chart then looked up at his nurse.

  “Get me a CBC and BMP while we’re at it, Nadine,” the doctor told his nurse then looked back at Maddie. “Nadine can take them back to the lab after they’re done in the restroom. I’m going to write a prescription for an antibiotic.”

  “What exactly are we treating him for?” Maddie asked.

  “UTI. I think he’s got a hefty infection in his urinary tract.”

  “That would make his temperature run so high?”

  “Certainly. His throat looked good, only a little inflamed, but there were no obvious signs of strep. And his glands—and appendix feel good. It was his bladder that gave him the pain.” He closed the chart then turned more fully in his seat. “Now, how about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “You look tired, kind of rundown and pale. Is there anything wrong?”

  “No. Nothing’s wrong. I’ll probably look better after I get some rest. I only had about two hours’ sleep since yesterday morning.”

  “Well, that certainly would explain a lot,” he smiled then stood up to leave. “Now listen, I want you to call immediately if he starts to vomit or if his fever goes back up and you can’t get it down. It will bounce up and down for a little while yet until the antibiotics take hold, and then I want to see him back in three days.” He closed the door behind him, allowing the sound of Robby’s quiet crying to come from the back of the building, indicating Joe had managed to get a urine specimen and was now helping to hold the boy while they took some blood.

  “I don’t know who it hurt more—father or son,” Nadine teased as they came back into the examining room.

  “You look a little pale, Joe. You sure you’re all right?” Maddie asked as Joe sat down, still holding Robby as she began dressing him.

  “You’d look pale too if you had a kid’s teeth stuck on your fingers. I thought maybe I’d lose them back there,” Joe almost hissed.

  Maddie looked at his fingers, her eyes widening when she saw he wasn’t joking. “What happened?”

  “Robby grabbed his hand when he saw what I was about to do. When I stuck the needle in, he bit it,” Nadine told her, coming toward the man with a bottle of antiseptic and a bandage.

  Maddie glanced up at Joe, seeing that he didn’t think it was as amusing as the nurse evidently did. He watched as she applied the bandage, then looked back at Maddie when the nurse was through. The expression in his eyes told her he thought the nurse had a few screws missing.

  “All done, Robby.” Maddie slipped on his jacket and lifted him from Joe’s lap. “We can leave as soon as they’re done with Joe.”

  “There. That should do it. It wasn’t very bad, but you can’t be too careful with bites.” Nadine moved toward the door. “Stop out front, and we’ll have your appointment for you.”

  The telephone woke Maddie from the nap Joe had insisted she take. She rose quickly, wrapping a robe around herself as she sped through the hall. She hadn’t planned on sleeping this long. When she reached the living room, she saw Joe and Robby sleeping on the couch, but she had time for only a brief glance as she picked up the telephone that threatened to wake them.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi. How’s the little termite doing?” Lew’s voice brought a smile to Maddie’s lips.

  “How’d you hear about it already?”

  “Tom told your mom, and she told me when I called this morning. So, how is he? Last I heard he was running a hell of a high fever.”

  “I’m not sure. I fell asleep after we got home from the doctor’s. Joe’s been watching him today.” She moved toward the couch where Joe was lying on his side, facing the child who was between him and the back of the sofa. “He feels warm but not hot. And I don’t know exactly when Joe last had him in the water to cool him down.”

  “Why? He sleeping too?”

  “Uh-huh. I just came out and found them both fast asleep on the couch.”

  “Tell him to get the hell up. Sleeping at three o’clock in the afternoon. He’s turning into a lazy slug. Get him up. Tell him I wanna talk to him.”

  “Oh—I don’t know. He’s probably tired,” she moaned as she looked down at Joe and Robby.

  “Boy, ya can tell you guys aren’t married yet. If ya were, you’d kick him in the middle of the back and tell him to answer the damn phone.”

  “I don’t think so,” she chuckled as she shook Joe’s shoulder. “But I’ll wake him anyway.”

  “When the hell are you guys getting married anyway?”

  “I don’t know. I was never asked,” she told him teasingly, then shook Joe again. “Joe. Get up a minute.”

  “Is he getting up?” Lew asked.

  “Slowly.” She watched Joe’s eyes reluctantly open as he glanced at the child sharing the couch with him. “When did you last put him in the water?”

  He turned slowly, his body stiff as if he had lain in one position far too long. He looked up at her through squinted eyes, then glanced back at Robby, reaching to touch his forehead.

  “He isn’t too hot. I just wrapped him in towels before we lay down.”

  “And when was that?”

  “Noon. After we ate.” He glanced at the clock then rubbed his hand over his face and sleep from his eyes. “Oh. It’s that late. I guess we slept longer than I thought.”

  “Here, Lew wants to talk to you.”

  Maddie went to the kitchen for fresh towels, juice, and Robby’s medicine. After putting the medicine and juice on the coffee table, she bent to remove the towels. Robby woke as she was trying to replace the fresh toweling, looking up at her in confusion before a yawn spread across his features and he sat up, reaching for the glass of juice. She barely listened to Joe as he sat up and moved to the other end of the couch with his legs sprawled on the cushions next to Robby. She was about to give the child his medicine when she felt Joe’s hand come from behind, sliding up the inside of her thigh. Her position, as she faced Robby, hid his father’s movement from the child’s view and gave Joe complete access to her bottom. She knew where that hand was heading, but at the moment she was holding a spoonful of syrupy medicine over her son and couldn’t stop it.

  “Didn’t you even get over on the dike yet?” Joe said to her uncle as his hand slid higher, his thumb rhythmically stroking the soft flesh just inside the leg openings of her satin panties.

  “Here, Robby. Swallow this before I spill it,” she urged, watching him open up and allowing her to pour the medicine into his mouth, before she handed the spoon to him to finish it.

  She stood straight and reached behind herself to push at the hand still beneath her robe then reached for the second liquid—the one she knew would give her problems. It had a bitter taste.

  “I don’t want it. That one tastes yucky.” />
  “Take it quickly and wash it down with your juice then, okay?” She poured it out, starting to bend toward him until she felt Joe’s hand return.

  She straightened, twisting her hips away from him, then sat next to his thighs so he wouldn’t have the same access. This time as she leaned over his legs for Robby, his hand found another route, moving around her side and catching a breast. She poured the medicine into her son’s mouth, seeing the face he made at the bitter taste, but when he would have turned away, she gave him the spoon and urged him to finish that one as well.

  “So ya think you’ll be up to it for next week’s game?” Joe asked Lew. “Maybe I’ll talk Maddie into coming along. We could drive you down before the crowd arrives.”

  “You want some more juice?” Maddie asked Robby.

  “No.” He lay down again, resting his arm and head on Joe’s shin after handing her his nearly emptied glass.

  Maddie stood up and moved back to the kitchen with his medicine. She could only hear bits and pieces of Joe’s conversation then the sound of the bus stopping on the road below as she came back into the room.

  “Did they give you a shot?” Jackie’s words flew out as soon as he entered the room and saw Robby. Robby nodded his head. “Where?” Robby held out his arm, exposing the bandage on the inside of his elbow. “That wasn’t a real shot. They took your blood is all.”