Her Second Chance

by Bette Ford

  “Nonsense,” Mrs. Hale laughed. “Your groom’s here, that’s what matters. Darrin arrived before you did. He’s waiting with Douglas in Pastor’s study.”

  Maureen, still at the window, reported, “That’s Mrs. Morgan and Megan. I’m sure the florist will be here very soon.” She came over and took Trenna’s hands. “You’re trembling.”

  “I’ll be fine once my bouquet arrives.”

  “You look beautiful,” Maureen gushed.

  Mrs. Hale beamed, "Maureen’s correct. You're a gorgeous bride.”

  Trenna smiled. “Thank you both.” She smoothed her hand over her pale pink satin dress. Blinking away sentimental tears, she said, “I love this dress and the matching coat. Vanessa did a wonderful job. I’m so pleased with the way it turned out. My mother would have been so happy that I’m wearing one of her designs. It was so kind of Vanessa to make it for me. And Grace’s bead work on the hem and cuffs are exquisite.”

  A sparkling pillbox hat was perched on her head with a wispy veil. In her ears, she wore her mother’s pearl and diamond earrings, around her neck was the strand of pink pearls that her father had given her the day she had graduated from high school.

  “Vanessa has become an incredible designer in her own right but using your mother’s designs was brilliant.” Maureen said.

  “She was impressed by my mother’s designs and interested in using some of them in her bridal boutique.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Mrs. Hale said. “Your mother was a true artist. Her styles are elegant, classic, and have stood the test of time. She reminds me of a designer that I saw while Paris as a girl.”

  “Thank you.” Trenna brushed away tears. Her wedding day. She sighed,

  trying to ignore the way her hand shook as she smoothed the slim lines of the knee- length design.

  Maureen whispered, “Trenna, tell me you’re not comparing today with…”

  “My first wedding?” She frowned. “Absolutely not, that’s part of my past. Today is about me and Darrin. I love him with all my heart. And I can’t wait to start my life with him.”

  Maureen hugged her. “I’m so glad you told me told me about your past. And you are right, today is just the beginning of a bright future filled with promise. I’m so happy for you and Darrin.”

  Trenna clung to her best friend for a long moment. “Thank you. I’m so glad that both you and Mrs. Hale are here to share this with me.”

  ”Me too. Now, tell me why you’re still shaking.”

  Before she could admit that she was nervous about tonight there was a knock on the door. Trenna loved Darrin so much that last thing she wanted was to disappoint him. They’d only made love once, and it ended badly. Their wedding night had to be perfect.

  “Come in,” Maureen called.

  Shanna Carter, the florist, brought in the elaborate spray of tiny rosebuds ranging from blush pink to deep crimson. “I’m so very sorry, Ms. McAdams, that I held up your wedding. I checked and double-checked to make sure I had everything and have no idea how it was left behind.”

  Trenna smiled, relieved. “It's okay. Thank you, they’re gorgeous. Aren’t they, Maureen?”

  “Yes, absolutely gorgeous.”

  A message was sent to the pastor. After that, things seemed to move swiftly. All too soon Maureen was arranging Trenna’s veil. As she looked in the mirror, she was confident she had never looked better. Unfortunately, it didn’t ease the butterflies in her stomach. She was unaware of the way she clenched the ribbon-covered stems of her bouquet.

  “You’re perfect.” Maureen nodded, and then said to her grandmother, “Nana, will you please tell them we’re coming?”

  Once the friends were alone, Maureen squeezed Trenna's hand. “What is it? Are you having doubts?”

  Trenna shook her head. “Nerves, that’s all. Before we go I want to take a moment to thank you for your love and support. Lucky for me, you're such an excellent counselor. You helped me deal with so many lingering issues without even being aware. I'm sorry I kept it a secret."

  The two hugged. Maureen said, "I do understand. Any time you need to talk I'm here for you."

  Trenna smiled. “I know. But that goes both ways.”

  Maureen laughed. "Agreed. Now let's get you married."

  When she entered the sanctuary and her eyes met Darrin’s, Trenna was radiantly happy. She saw his love for her and acceptance. Instantly, her fears fled as she made her way down the aisle accompanied by Mrs. Hale.

  “Did I tell you how beautiful you are?” Darrin whispered in her ear as they stood in the back of the hotel’s crowded elevator. They were heading to the penthouse suite on the top floor.

  Blushing, she said, “So many times I’ve lost count.”

  “Good.” He grinned.

  Unfortunately for her the nerves were back with a vengeance. The unease started the moment they left the banquet room where their reception was still in full swing.

  Over and over, she assured herself that she was okay and that this was her 'second chance' at happiness. It didn't soothe the fears. She wasn't likely to forget that this was her last chance at love. If she messed things up tonight there would be no more chances.

  She sighed, feelings woefully inadequate.

  "Tired?" Darrin quizzed.

  "Oh, no you don't!” she teased. “Stop trying to distract me. You're stalling. Now tell me where you’re taking me on our honeymoon.”

  He grinned. “It’s a surprise. You will find out in the morning when we get on the plane.”

  “Sure hope you’re taking me some place warm because I packed shorts, sundresses, and bathing suits. If there’s ski lifts and snow, you’re going to have to buy me a whole new wardrobe!”

  He chuckled. “I can’t believe I will have you all to myself for three weeks.” He squeezed her waist, keeping her close.

  “I can’t believe it either. I actually let you talk me into closing the school for that long. I will be lucky if we have any students when the break is over.”

  “Sweetheart, you haven’t had a vacation since you opened. You’re entitled to some rest and relaxation.”

  The elevator slowly emptied as it climbed. When it reached top floor, he leaned down to place a kiss on the side of her throat. “We should have eloped. It has been hours since I put that ring on your hand. I can’t wait to make you mine, Mrs. Morgan.”

  Trenna shivered at the huskiness of his voice as the doors slid open. Before she could blink, Darrin swung her off her feet and up into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he moved purposefully toward the double doors at the end of the corridor.

  Her nerves were on full alert by the time he unlocked the door and carried her inside. He held her close as he released her legs, allowing her to slide down his body. She took a quick step away. Since dawn she had blamed her unease on bridal jitters. The truth was staring her in the face.

  She was acutely aware that she married a good man. But a very attractive man with the same needs as any other. How long before her wedding finery would be stripped away, leaving all her insecurities bare and on full display?

  Even though she shared his beliefs, secretly, she had been relieved when Darrin had suggested they wait to make love. He had married her, despite knowing about her limitations. Instead of being reassured, she was afraid. She blinked away tears, alarmed by the extent of her selfishness.

  She loved him so much that she’d gone ahead and married him. She convinced herself they could find happiness together. And, now that the harsh reality of what she had set into motion was staring her in the face, she was terrified that she’d made a horrible mistake.

  How long before she messed up? How soon before she disappointed him? How could she have been so reckless? She shouldn’t have married him knowing full well that deep inside she was the one with the problem, not him. She was the weak link. He deserved the best. He deserved to be happy.

  Evidently, she hadn’t been thinking. Talk about being blinded by love! Goodness, she
wasn’t likely to ever forget how badly their one and only night together had ended! What made her think their wedding tonight would be different? She was still the weak—

  “What do you think?” Darrin asked from behind her, his hands on her small shoulders. They were in the center of a luxuriously appointed suite, thick, bronze carpet underfoot. Massive twin cream sofas faced each other. The cream and bronze patterned drapes had been left open, the cream-sheer lace curtains covered the floor-to-ceiling windows, veiling the fabulous view of Detroit’s riverfront. Lights from Windsor Canada shimmered in the distance.

  “How lovely.” Trenna worried her bottom lip, struggling for calm. Her knees were shaking so badly that she quickly moved to the table behind the sofa. She was grateful for the support and space it put between them. Everything in the room was perfect.

  Darrin was expertly tailored in a black tuxedo that fit the long, muscular lines of his body to perfection. He certainly looked at home. She was the one who was out of place.

  She inhaled the sweet scent of artfully arranged wildflowers displayed in a heavy crystal vase. They were her favorites. She didn’t need to read the card to know who they were from. Darrin had gone out of his way to make this day special for her.

  “Flowers, too? I don’t know if I can take another surprise. I nearly fainted during the ceremony when you placed that pink fluorite infinity wedding band on my hand. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.” She couldn’t help gushing. “Sweet man, you’re spoiling me.”

  “It’s called loving you.” Darrin turned her but he didn’t kiss or take her into his arms, but looked into her eyes. “What’s wrong, love?”

  “Noth—” she stopped abruptly. What was she doing? She’d nearly told a lie to the man she loved with her whole heart. He was her husband. But she didn’t want to think about, let alone talk about her insecurities. Not now…not yet. This fear wasn’t welcome—it was an intrusion into what was supposed to be their special day.

  The fear had been there all day but eased the moment her eyes met his in the church. His love had gotten her down the aisle. Since leaving the reception the fear felt as if had formed into a tight knot and settled in her stomach. Refusing to give into tears, she said, “I-I-I…” She stopped, unable to find the right words.

  Cupping her face, Darrin brushed his lips over her forehead, her cheeks. “Whatever it is, we can work it out…together.”

  She watched him remove his jacket and toss it over an armchair. He slid her coat off her shoulders, unpinned her hat and placed both on the same chair Then taking her hand, he led her around to the sofa and pulled his bride down beside him. He kneaded the muscled in her neck and then her shoulders, until she was limp with relief. She had no idea when it happened but she was in his lap, her cheek on his chest.

  She placed a kiss in the center of his palm “You have the most incredible hands, strong and capable.”

  “Thank you. Did I happen to mention how beautiful you…”

  She laughed.

  “If you can still laugh it can’t be so bad.”

  “You’re right, I know you’re right. But it’s just that…” Trenna hesitated. Unable to meet his gaze, she stared at pink gel-coated nails. “I’m sorry, so sorry. Tonight was supposed to be perfect and I’m ruining it.”

  “You haven’t ruined anything.” He kissed her nose, her cheek, before he kissed her lips tenderly. “Lean back, Trenna. Now take slow, deep breaths. That’s right.”

  She nodded, kicking her heels off.

  After several minutes, he asked, “Better?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  “Don’t stop. Slow, deep breaths.”

  Eyes closed, she rested against him with her head on his shoulder and concentrated on her breathing. Gradually, she was able to relax and savor Darrin’s warmth while enjoying his scent and their closeness.

  “This is what I needed…time alone with you. I love you, Darrin Morgan.”

  “And I love you, Trenna Morgan.” He cradled her against him, and held her hands in his. “Okay?” When she nodded, he said smiled. “Good. Are you ready to talk about it?”

  “Yes, the wedding and reception were perfect. I was nervous when I got up this morning. I told myself it was bridal jitters. Everything went exactly as planned. But in the elevator on our way up here I started to panic. I felt selfish for marrying you. As if I took advantage of you. And when we got here, everything in the suite seemed perfect, including you. I was the one who didn't belong here with you.” Trenna impatiently wiped away a trickle of tears.

  “If everything today seemed perfect, then I’m glad because it’s the way you planned it, sweetheart. All I cared about was marrying you and making you happy. We could have eloped and that would have been fine with me. I’ve got what’s important to me… You. I wanted to be your husband.”

  Watching her closely, Darrin asked with a troubled frown, “Don’t belong? Trenna Morgan, which part of ‘I love you’ didn’t you get? You’re my heart, my life, my blessing from God. And I thank Him every day for you.”

  He sighed heavily. “I really thought we had dealt with the trust issue and put it behind us for good. Evidently, I was wrong. When we got into the elevator I sensed something was on your mind but it wasn’t until we reached the suite I could see that you were upset.” The light and laughter had gone from his eyes when he said, “Finally, we’re together and alone, but you still haven’t told me what’s wrong. Trenna, I want a marriage where we can tell each other everything and anything…where there are no secrets.”

  Alarmed by the hurt she saw in his eyes, her eyes were instantly flooded by tears that trickled onto her cheeks. It was her fault. She had married him and then let her fears get the best of her. Filled with shame, her natural instinct was to hide her insecurities, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want hide anything from him. She wanted what he wanted… no secrets only truth, trust and love. He deserved her complete honesty.

  “I’m sorry.” Lifting her hand to cup his cheek, she kissed his chin and then pressed her lips against his. “I trust you. Darrin, you have to believe that. You aren’t the problem. It’s me. I’m scared.” She sighed. “This isn’t easy for me. This is my last chance and I don’t want to mess it up.”

  “What are you more afraid of? Being married to me? Or having to sleep with me because I might be like Mar—”

  “No! You are not like him!” Trenna interrupted. “We’ve settled that. How can you think even for one minute that I might still be comparing—?”

  “Then what?” Darrin quizzed as he ran a hand over his close-cut natural. “It’s not that we haven’t done the deed?.”

  “Me. I’m the problem. We’ve kissed, caressed, but we haven’t made love, not since the night of the storm. I tried but I can’t forget how badly it ended.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then admitted, “I have been on a rollercoaster of euphoria since you told me you loved me and proposed. It lasted until this morning. I decided it was bridal jitters and then the ceremony was delayed, which didn’t help. But I was holding it together until we left the reception, that’s when the fears resurfaced and seemed to mushroom.”

  “Trenna, we agreed to wait.”

  “I know. I realize the waiting has been especially hard for you. But today…” She frowned, “I can’t turn off my thoughts or forget how upset I was upset that night. Or that you left, angry and disappointed. What if history repeats itself? Like you, I want our marriage to work. Tonight is our wedding night. What if I disappoint you again?”

  “Not possible. The only way you can disappointment me, Trenna Morgan, would be if you stopped loving me.” Again and again, he brushed her lips with his each pass slower than the one before. “If we had gone ahead, and made love, then you would know how good it’s going to be between us. Because of our faith, we chose to do what was right for us and honor God. Putting God first has never been easy. Believe me, it has been torture, not being able to make you mine. Today, finally, you’re my wife. N
ever forget that I love you, Trenna Morgan, with my whole heart and body.”

  She sighed with relief as her heart rate picked up speed. “Sweet man, you know I feel the same way about you. You’re my husband, my heart. I can’t explain how important it is for me to please you. I want to please you.”

  He smiled. “You have nothing to be afraid of. I’ll make you a promise. I will never ask anything of you sexually that you aren’t comfortable with. To prove it, I’ll tell you exactly what I’ve fantasized about tonight.”

  Trenna’s eyes went wide. “Fantasized?”

  “Oh yeah,” he drawled, “Detailed fantasies about making love to you, sweetheart.”

  Curiosity got the better of her, and she blurted out, “Tell me!”

  He quirked a brow, his eyes twinkled like a deep blue flame. His voice was husky when he said, “There’s an old Otis Redding song that sums up how I feel. These Arms of Mine.” Darrin started by humming the melody and then he sang in a deep, sexy baritone, as they swayed to together.

  Trenna released a long sigh. Her entire body trembled when she gushed, “Oh my, that was amazing.” Cupping, his face she kissed his jaw, his cheek and then lingered on his firm lips. She said in a whisper, “That was wonderful. Thank you, sweet, sweet man.”

  He dropped his head, licked her lips before pulling back. When she leaned forward he opened to her, allowing her access to his mouth. Unable to resist, she eagerly took what was offered. She shivered, as they shared a lengthy but tender exchange.

  She was tingling all over when she said, “Tell me about this fantasy, and don’t leave out a single detail.”

  He laughed so hard that it was a few moments before he sobered enough to say, “You already know that I think you’re incredibly sexy.” He paused, his gaze locked with hers. His voice dropped to an even richer baritone when he said, “I only have to look at you to want to be a part of you. I’ve had a lot of time to think about making love to you. In my fantasy, you are not in a wedding dress.”

  18