Conflicted

by Lisa Suzanne

  I waited for him to ask me how my day was or why I was so late. I waited for him to tell me I looked pretty or that he’d missed me.

  But it never came. After he told me about his day, he turned his attention back to the television.

  Fine. If words weren’t going to work on him, maybe some action would.

  I gulped down the rest of my wine and set my glass on the table in front of me. I scooted a little closer and leaned in to nuzzle his neck.

  He wasn’t taking the hint. His eyes were still focused on his show.

  I dragged my lips up to his earlobe and sucked. A soft sigh escaped him, so at least I knew I had his attention.

  “Lucy, what are you doing?” His voice sounded annoyed.

  Why would he possibly be annoyed when his wife wanted a little intimacy?

  “Isn’t it obvious?” I whispered.

  He shook me off. “I’m tired.”

  “You just sit back and let me do the work.” I thought that maybe once I got started, he wouldn’t be able to resist. Maybe a little fun on the couch would help spark things back up between us.

  I moved off the couch and knelt between his knees. He wore a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I ran my hands along his firm thighs and then cupped him on the outside of his shorts, expecting some reaction. Instead, when I looked up at him, his face was unreadable as he continued to stare at the television.

  Whatever.

  I had all this pent up sexual tension inside of me, and I needed to do something to get rid of it. I lifted his shirt up just a little and dropped kisses on his stomach. He wasn’t muscular, but he was slim.

  I pulled him out of his shorts, and he didn’t stop me. He was only semi-hard, but I knew what to do to get him there. I shoved him right into my mouth without preamble.

  A small groan escaped him. It had been a while since I’d done this, but it was like riding a bike. I took him to the back of my throat and slowly sucked my way up to the tip. I wasn’t surprised when he squeezed my shoulder after what seemed like only a few bobs of my head. It was his signal that he was about to lose it. I didn’t move my head, and his warm fluid shot to the back of my throat.

  And as my husband basked in the glow of a fabulous blow job from his wife, I couldn’t help the thought nagging in the back of my mind despite my promise to myself that I would stop.

  What did Cole taste like?

  I sat back on the couch, shaking my head slightly to clear Cole out of it. I sighed triumphantly and waited for John to make his move and return the favor.

  Instead, he tucked himself back into his pants, shot me a quick smile, and turned his attention back to his show.

  CHAPTER SIX

  One of the highlights of my job was the annual Benson Industries Benefit. It was a first class event that took place at the Ritz every year, and even though the price tag was astronomical, the event was always pure class and raised a ton of money for charity. I was always given a ticket plus one guest, and every year was better than the one before. The benefit had an amazing silent auction and a fantastic dinner in addition to a night of drinking and dancing.

  Plus, as an added benefit, I’d get to stare at Cole in a tux.

  I was still a little pissed at John that he’d taken a blow job and didn’t even think of reciprocating, but it was in the past. This benefit could be our night to reconnect, to have a fun night out drinking and dancing.

  The benefit was on a Saturday night, and I spent the majority of the Friday before making sure Cole was ready. I had a handful of responsibilities handed down to me from the Public Relations department since my direct boss had to approve every last detail of the benefit. Excitement always abounded through the whole office, but Cole managed to dampen that with his foul mood on Friday. I tried to ignore it, but it was difficult given his proximity.

  I almost asked him why he was so crabby, but I had a good idea why. Jack Benson had created excellent relationships within the community, and it would be interesting to watch his son at the helm this year. Cole had to give a speech the following night, and it was his first time officially hosting the benefit.

  He’d sent me a rough draft of what he planned to say, and he’d requested a copy of his father’s speech from the year before. He’d never even so much as attended one of these benefits—at least not here in California—so I imagined he was anxious to ensure the event lived up to the high standards his father had set.

  Not to mention, his dad would be in attendance. I was certain Cole was intent on impressing his parents.

  “Mr. Benson?” I asked, knocking lightly on his door.

  “What?” he snapped.

  I walked partway through the door and stopped. He glanced up from some paperwork on his desk, and I couldn’t help but think how achingly handsome he was, even with all that irritation on his face. “Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to tell you that I thought your speech was perfect. I sent you some notes over email, and I’d be happy to go over it with you if you want to read it to me.”

  “I don’t have time for that shit. I’ll look over your notes.” His eyes lingered on me for a few short beats, and then he looked back down at his paperwork. “I need you to pick up my tux before lunch today.”

  “Yes, sir.” I returned to my desk with a heavy sigh, wishing he could be just a little nicer to me.

  But if he was, I’d be in real trouble. If he gave me any glimmer of hope that he might be a likable person, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to suppress my attraction to him.

  As the warm California air blew in through my lowered window, I couldn’t help but think how nice it was to get out of the office. Even if it was because I was running around as my boss’s bitch. After I picked up his tux, I grabbed him a Venti Vanilla Latte from Starbucks as a special treat. I hoped it would cheer him up a little and maybe calm his nerves.

  On second thought, caffeine probably wasn’t the answer.

  When I got back to the office, I stood in Cole’s doorway with his tux. “Sir, I have your tux. Where would you like it?”

  He pointed toward the door in his office that led to a private restroom, and I opened the door and found a hook to hang his tux on. When I emerged, I set the coffee on his desk. “I also brought you a little treat,” I said sweetly.

  He glanced at the coffee. I expected his eyes to soften as he looked up at me gratefully, or even a word of thanks for the coffee and the tux, but instead, he looked back at his paperwork. “Thank God you didn’t spill any on my tux.”

  I glared at the top of his head. What an asshole.

  I hated him more and more every single day.

  When I arrived home after work, the apartment was quiet as usual. I stepped into the closet and pulled my dress for the following night out of the garment bag. I sighed happily as I stared at the dress.

  It was a dream dress, one I shouldn’t have bought due to its price tag but did anyway. The top was a tight, sparkly, beaded champagne color. It looked strapless, but it had a beaded sweetheart neckline that doubled as a necklace, and the back had a gorgeous tie-up corset. The beads on the top faded as they moved all the way down to the floor. I’d found heels that matched the color of the dress perfectly, and the diamond studs John had given me on our first anniversary would complete the outfit.

  I’d made an appointment to get my hair and make-up done. I was, after all, the assistant to the company’s CEO, and it gave me a good excuse to pamper myself.

  I couldn’t wait for the next day. I’d told John about this date months ago, and I’d reminded him over and over so he wouldn’t have to work or invent some other excuse.

  When Saturday afternoon rolled around, I headed out to my hair and make-up appointment while John stayed behind, telling me he had some work to do but assuring me he’d get it done before we had to leave.

  I didn’t care if he didn’t get it done. We were going together to the benefit, and he’d have a good time if I had to force him.

  Or at least I wouldn’t let hi
m ruin my good time.

  As my stylist curled my long, dark hair into sexy, loose waves, an image of Cole flashed through my mind and I suddenly had the strongest pull deep in my belly. The unwelcome thought that I wished I was getting ready to attend this benefit with him instead of with John wiggled its way into my consciousness.

  I forced the thought away. I forced myself to focus on images from our wedding day. Smiles as we fed each other cake. His eyes looking down into mine as we shared our first dance. Nervous jitters as I walked down the aisle toward him.

  I calmed my errant thoughts with those soothing images, pushing Cole away as I forced John back in.

  I shouldn’t have had to do that, but it was as if my brain had taken on an agenda all its own.

  I continued to force Cole out of my mind the remainder of the afternoon, but he kept finding his way back in. That look he’d given me on the elevator. I had to have been imagining things, but what if that girl hadn’t been in his office?

  What had he done with her?

  Had he fucked her over his desk?

  Had he made love to her up against the windows?

  Did he think of me the way I thought of him?

  When I emerged from the closet and found John sitting on the couch in the tux I’d rented for him, I forced myself to hope tonight would be our new beginning.

  He was on his iPad, tapping away furiously. I cleared my throat to get his attention.

  “You look nice,” he said, his eyes moving over my dress. Nice? I looked fucking amazing, and it would’ve been nice to hear it.

  “Thank you. So do you.”

  I waited for him to get up, to come over to me and kiss me. To tell me he loved me and looked forward to our night together. Instead, his eyes returned to his iPad. “I’ll be done in a second.”

  I sighed, forcing myself not to get angry. He was dressed and he was attending this event with me, and I wasn’t going to let a little rocky start ruin our night.

  We got into John’s Volvo and headed toward the Ritz. It didn’t go unnoticed that he’d tossed his iPad into the backseat. He sure as fuck wasn’t bringing that damn thing into the ballroom with him.

  I took a deep breath and silently repeated some mantra about not allowing myself to get mad.

  We pulled up to the Ritz, and John dropped me off at the doors while he drove around to park. As I waited in the lobby, I waved to some coworkers.

  Once John made his way in, we headed into the ballroom. He still hadn’t touched me. He was obviously preoccupied with whatever was going on at his work, but he didn’t care to share it with me. I let it go.

  Our PR team had thought of everything, and when we entered the ballroom, we were given our table numbers. Dinner was set to start in just under an hour, and that was also when Cole would deliver his speech.

  We perused the auction items, and John pointed out some football players he recognized while I pointed out an actress I’d seen on television just the day before. We stopped at the bar where I picked up a glass of wine and John got himself a beer.

  I spotted Cole across the room. He was too far away for me to catch a really good look, but he was handsome even from the distance. A gorgeous blonde in a tight, red dress had her arm looped through his. She was a different blonde from the one I’d seen in his office after the MTC meeting. I wondered how many blondes he had in his contact list. He laughed at something she said, and she smiled easily along with him.

  I decided I immediately hated her for no good reason other than the fact that she’d made Cole smile. Well, that and the fact that she was practically glued to him.

  I wanted to go say hi to him, but I felt so awkward.

  All throughout that first hour, I could physically feel the distance that spanned between my husband and me. I’d been trying to reach him, but he insisted everything was fine. When one person doesn’t think there’s a problem, it’s difficult to move forward.

  We finally headed toward our assigned table a few minutes before dinner was set to begin, and I found Jack Benson already sitting there with his wife, Arlene.

  “Jack!” I exclaimed, and he stood and gave me a hug.

  “Lucy,” he said warmly. God, I missed him. He’d always told me I was the daughter he’d never had. He’d been such a nice boss, and once again I had a hard time believing he had fathered the evil Cole.

  “Arlene, it’s so good to see you again,” I said, and she stood and gave me a hug.

  “Good to see you, too, dear.”

  We all took our seats, and I sat in the one next to Jack so we could catch up.

  “How was your vacation?” I asked, referring to the cruise he’d taken immediately after retiring.

  He launched into a story about Arlene’s sunburn that had me giggling. He kept sipping from a tumbler with amber liquid in it, and it struck me that I’d never really seen him drink before. I supposed since he was retired now, he didn’t have to worry about giving the speech and he could cut loose and have a good time.

  “How’s Cole treating you so far?” Jack asked.

  Did he want the truth? I opened my mouth to respond, but I was cut off before I had the chance.

  “She’s lucky to have such a great boss.” I turned to see the source of those words, and Cole himself stood behind his father.

  Holy. Fucking. Hell.

  He was gorgeous in the tuxedo I’d picked up for him. He was freshly shaven and his hair was neatly groomed, as if he’d gone for a haircut that morning. His dark eyes burned into mine, and his date possessively clutched his arm a little tighter.

  I pressed my lips together. “Mr. Benson, I’d like to introduce you to my husband, John.” I motioned to John, who stood to shake Cole’s hand.

  My husband shaking the hand of the man who I lusted after struck me as incredibly odd.

  “Good to meet you,” Cole said, and then he ushered the blonde to an empty seat across the table from us and he sat beside her. Interesting that he hadn’t taken the time to introduce her to me.

  The emcee, who happened to be professional baseball player Cody Moretti, took the microphone. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. “Thank you for your attendance tonight. Please take your seats as dinner will be served shortly. During the dessert course, we’ll hear from Benson Industries’ new CEO, Cole Benson. I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate Mr. Jack Benson on his retirement. Jack, where are you?”

  Jack stood beside me, and the room exploded in applause. “Jack, tonight’s about charity, but it’s also about having a good time. So everyone, raise your drinks high in the air. Every time someone says ‘congratulations’ tonight, Jack has to take a drink. So, Jack, congratulations.”

  Jack smiled and waved, and then he took a sip from his tumbler.

  “Congratulations on a long and successful career, and congratulations on your retirement.”

  Jack took two more drinks and then held up his hands in surrender, causing a smattering of laughter in the room.

  Cody laughed. “I’ll stop, but I’m sure you’ll hear it a few more times tonight. Enjoy your dinner and your evening, everyone, and please remember that the silent auction tonight benefits One Heart One Way of Los Angeles. Open those pocketbooks and show us your generosity. Have a great night.” Cody stepped down to applause, and the servers placed our salad plates down immediately.

  Jack entertained us with stories about his years at the wheel of Benson Industries, and I couldn’t help shooting quick glances across the table at Cole. Jack was hilarious, and the laughter at our table was raucous. I kept looking at Cole because I wasn’t used to seeing him smile. I wasn’t used to seeing him have a good time.

  I was used to being treated like shit because he was in a perpetual sour mood.

  But I caught him smiling as he listened to his father, and then I caught him looking back at me. His smile faded when our eyes met. He looked away first, back toward his father, but I couldn’t help but wonder about that little moment.

 
I tried to avoid looking in his direction, but it was nearly impossible. My eyes were drawn to him involuntarily.

  After the dinner course, Jack excused himself and moved across the room toward the microphone.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Thank you for your support of Benson Industries and of One Heart One Way. Thank you for your continued charity and for celebrating here with us tonight. Each year, I’ve given a speech at this event where I discuss both Benson and One Heart, but tonight, I’m handing over the reins to someone else. I’m so proud of my son. He’s managed to make a smooth transition so far, and I know he’s going to revitalize the company and create more success than I ever could have imagined. Please welcome the new Chief Executive Officer of Benson Industries, Mr. Cole Benson.”

  I clapped along with the rest of the attendees in the room. Cole’s eyes met mine for the briefest of seconds before he stood and strode confidently toward his father. “Thanks, Dad,” he said, and the two men hugged. I almost felt a tear in my eye at his tender display of affection for his father.

  Tender. Now there’s a word I never would’ve thought I’d use to describe Cole.

  He launched into the speech he’d sent me and I’d reviewed. He’d memorized it, and it was perfect…he was perfect. He was assured and confident throughout his discussion of Benson’s current state, and he explained how the money raised at the benefit would help One Heart One Way, a children’s charity. He ended with a plea for attendees to dig deeply into their pockets before telling everyone to have a good time.

  I couldn’t help my fantasies about this man. I’d never do anything about it, but I was drawn to him for some inexplicable reason beyond my attraction to him.

  I wanted to see his tender side again.

  I wanted to be the one who could make him smile. Instead, more often than not, I was the one who made him scowl.

  I glanced over at John at some point during Cole’s speech, and he was engrossed in reading something on his phone. I smacked him on the shoulder and gestured toward Cole on the stage with my head, as if to tell him to pay attention. It was flat out rude to sit on his phone while Cole gave his speech—especially considering he was my boss and we were sitting at the same table as him. I fumed in silence, but I forgot about it quickly as I found myself enraptured by the man on the stage.