I’d been desperate when I called Catia’s mother to plead my case. She finally agreed that we needed to sort things out for the sake of the baby, so she invited us to share their holiday dinner, insisting Catia would be less likely to make a scene with an audience. I hoped she was right. The last thing I needed was the entire Starkis clan ready to take off my head.
“Do you think she’ll like the present we made her?” Emily asked.
My mother had helped them make a beautiful beaded Christmas ornament for the baby in a neutral mint green. I hoped Catia would understand that not only had I had a change of heart about her pregnancy, but they had too.
“I’m sure she’ll love it.”
“Does she hate us?” Emily asked.
I was shocked to see tears in her eyes when I looked in the rearview mirror. “Of course she doesn’t hate you, Em. How could you think that?”
“We were mean to her. We told you ‘bout da baby.”
I closed my eyes as we pulled up to a traffic light, and I inhaled deeply as I tried to corral my emotions. I’d been a mess all day, trying to shop for the perfect gifts to let Catia know I was not only looking forward to becoming a daddy again but, with any luck, her husband too.
But that wouldn’t happen until I’d gotten her father’s blessing. He would undoubtedly have a few words to say about the unconventional nature of our relationship, my previous divorce, and the fact I’d already let his little girl down, but I could take it. I knew when the day came that men wanted my daughters’ hands in marriage, I’d put them through the wringer too.
“Daddy?” Emily said, obviously waiting for my assurance that Catia wouldn’t shut them down when they delivered the apology they’d prepared.
“You don’t have to worry about Catia. She won’t hold anything that’s happened against you.” It was me she’d blame and rightly so.
As we pulled into the driveway, I noted all the familiar cars. The gang was all here, and I felt like a cow being led to slaughter. But I was there willingly, intent on making things right. If that meant I’d have to go through her overprotective family to do it, so be it.
“Make sure Pina has done her business before we go inside,” I reminded the girls. “And don’t forget her toys and food. We might have to keep her in one of the bedrooms while we’re eating. I don’t want her to cause any trouble.”
Emily and Elsie agreed as they fastened the leash around their puppy’s neck and hustled her out of the car. I waited until they’d finished with her before I guided them up to the door, saying a silent prayer Catia wouldn’t kick us all out before I could get a word in.
“Here we go,” I whispered, ringing the doorbell.
Elsie slipped her hand into mine, her blue eyes earnest as she looked at me. “It’ll be okay, Daddy.”
Squeezing her hand, I said, “I know it will, baby.”
Catia answered the door, her smile slipping when she saw us. She was wearing black skinny pants, leather boots, and a red turtleneck. If I hadn’t known better, I wouldn’t have guessed she was pregnant. “Oh, hi.”
I could tell she wanted to slam the door in my face, but for the sake of the kids, she refrained.
“Look at our new puppy, Cat,” Elsie said, her grin revealing her missing front tooth.
“Wow,” Catia said, bending to pet the tiny white dog. “I’m guessing by the pink leash and collar it’s a girl.”
“Yup,” Emily said proudly. “Isn’t she cute? Her name’s Pina.”
“She sure is cute.” She stood, looking at me. “Uh, I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Your mother invited us when I called. I hope it’s okay?”
She was obviously considering her response carefully before she stepped back to let us in. “Of course. It is Christmas after all. Come in.”
The girls gasped when they caught sight of the ten-foot Christmas tree in the family room.
“Wow, your tree is huge!” Emily exclaimed.
Mrs. Starkis rounded the corner, beaming. “There you are! I was wondering when you’d get here.”
“Thank you for having us.” I handed her a huge bouquet of red and white roses tied with white organza and a red satin bow.
“My pleasure. Thank you for the flowers. They’re lovely. I’ll take the girls into the other room and get them a snack to tide them over ‘til dinner.”
“Thanks.” I watched her lead the girls and the excited puppy into the other room before I forced myself to look Catia in the eye. “You look beautiful.”
“What are you doing here?” she said through clenched teeth. “How could you ambush me like this, tonight of all nights? You had to know I wouldn’t want you here.”
“Can we talk for a few minutes? Please?” I wasn’t above begging, not now that I finally had some one-on-one time with her.
“I guess I don’t have a choice, do I?” Her heels clicked across the tile floor as she led me to her father’s study.
Memories of my last night here and all the ugly things I said to her came flooding back, and I wished this conversation could have taken place somewhere else, anywhere else.
She closed the door before facing me, arms crossed. “Well? Say what you have to say so I can get back to my family.”
“I’m sorry.” I let my apology hang in the air for a few seconds. “I was way out of line the last time I came here. I was in shock. I mean, a pregnancy was the last thing I expected.” I dared to step closer as I whispered, “But the best thing that could have happened.”
She sucked in a sharp breath as she stepped breath. “Don’t do that. I can’t think straight when you’re standing so close to me.”
I took that as a good sign. It meant I still affected her the same way she affected me. There suddenly wasn’t enough oxygen in the room. My future with Catia and the baby I desperately wanted to raise with her was hanging in the balance, and my next words to her could be my last if they weren’t the right ones.
“I’ve thought about you and the baby almost every minute since I left here.”
She licked those ruby red lips I’d kissed a hundred times and was dying to kiss again. For the rest of our lives if she’d have me.
“Fine, you’re here now.” She crossed her arms, and I knew she felt the need to defend herself. Not that I could blame her. Last time she’d been unprepared for my attack; this time she was on guard, expecting the worst. “Let’s hear it.”
“Catia, we may not have planned this, but we’re going to have a baby. I don’t have to tell you there’s nothing I value more than being a father.”
She narrowed her eyes as hostility seeped from her every word. “You value being a father to Karen’s kids. Not mine.”
My throat tightened, making it difficult to breathe. “I hate that you think that, and I hate myself for giving you reason to believe that.”
“You said I ruined your life by getting pregnant. Not only your life, but your children’s lives.” A tear rolled down her cheek, and she brushed it away, obviously angry with herself for being unable to contain her hurt. “I never meant to do that. If I’d had a choice…” Her breath was shaky as she shook her head. “I can’t say I would have done a single thing differently. I may not have intended to get pregnant, but I can’t pretend to be sorry it happened.”
“I’m not sorry it happened either.” I was dying to put my arms around her, to offer her some measure of comfort, but I knew that might cause her to bail on me. “I want this baby. I want you.”
She closed her eyes as she lowered her head. “I can’t…”
“You can’t what?” Desperation and fear seeped in to replace my apprehension. “Believe that I still love you? Believe that I want this baby as much as you do?”
“I can’t trust you again.”
I felt the force of her words like a mallet upside the head. “You can’t trust me?” I would have died before I’d betray her or cheat on her. When I made a commitment to her, it would be for life. Though given my last experience with marriage
, I understood her reservations.
“I can’t trust you to let the past go. The last time we talked, you reminded me, not for the first time, that you couldn’t trust me. You said I’d lied to and manipulated you.”
I curled my hands around her upper arms, desperate to make my point. “Catia—”
“Please don’t touch me,” she whispered. There was no malice in her voice, only quiet resignation, and that hurt even more because it meant she’d given up the fight.
Trying to respect her wishes, I let my hands fall to my sides. “I didn’t expect to come here, apologize, and make everything right, but I have something I hope will make my point better than I ever could.”
“What are you talking about?”
I reached into my pocket and extracted the gift I’d selected for her. I had others in my car, for both her and the baby, but this was the one that mattered most. My hands trembled as I handed her the small box wrapped in silver paper with a turquoise bow. “Here.”
She shook her head as she tried to hand it back. “I can’t take a gift from you. I’m sorry.”
“I had it made,” I said with a weak smile. “So it’s not like I can return it. Please. Just open it. If you don’t want it…” I couldn’t allow myself to believe this gift wouldn’t have some effect on her.
With a sigh, she pulled the satin ribbon before peeling back the paper. She gasped when she opened the box and saw the platinum band nestled in black velvet.
“Sapphire, emerald, ruby, diamond, and topaz,” I said. “A stone to represent each of our birth months, including the baby’s. It’s a family ring, because that’s what I want more than I’ve ever wanted anything, Cat. For us to be a family.”
She swallowed before looking at me, her eyes filling with tears. “It’s beautiful, but I’m just so confused. I need more time to figure things out.”
“I understand.” She wasn’t saying no or asking me to leave. As far as I was concerned, that was progress. “The girls and my mother made something for you too. I have it here.” I reached into my pocket and extracted the box that had created a bulge in my other pocket. I should have waited and let the girls give it to Catia, but I couldn’t wait to see her expression when she realized I wasn’t the only one who’d had a change of heart. “Will you open it?”
Before she could open the gift, a tentative knock sounded on the door.
Catia cleared her throat and set the open ring box on the desk behind her. “Come in,”
The doorknob turned slowly, and Elsie and Emily’s little faces appeared in the crack in the door.
“Can we come in?” Emily asked.
Catia offered them a wobbly smile as she waved them in. “Of course, come in.” She held up the unopened package. “Your dad just gave me the gift you and your nana made for me. I haven’t opened it yet, so your timing is perfect.”
“Can we say somethin’ afore you open it?” Elsie asked, twisting her hands in front of her.
They were wearing red velvet dresses they’d selected for the occasion, their wild curls fastened with sparkly barrettes while their Mary Janes shone beneath their matching tights. I may have been biased, but I thought they looked adorable.
Catia sat on a burgundy tufted leather sofa and set the box on the table in front of her so she could reach out a hand to each of the girls. “I want to hear what you have to say.”
The girls stood in front of her, looking nervous. Emily bit her lip while Elsie clasped her hands in front of her and rolled forward on her toes.
“We’re sorry,” they said in unison.
My heart swelled with pride. I knew they were nervous about Catia’s reaction, just as I was, but they were determined to power through the apology they’d rehearsed.
“We ‘ere mean to you,” Elsie said.
“And dat wasn’t fair,” Emily added.
Catia smiled as she clasped their little hands again. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“We ‘ere upset when we found out about de baby ‘cause we thought Daddy would love it more an us,” Emily said with a sidelong glance in my direction.
“Your daddy could never love anyone or anything more than he loves you girls,” Catia said with quiet conviction.
The fact that she understood that only made me love her more. She didn’t feel the need to compete with my kids for my love and affection. She knew I could love them all…in vastly different but equally important ways.
“We know dat now,” Emily said, looking solemn. “He told us.”
Catia smiled, blinking back tears. “Good. I’m glad you understand.”
“And we’re excited ‘bout a new baby like Venia.” Emily reached for the package Catia had set on the table. “That’s why we asked Nana to help us make this.”
Catia opened the package carefully, in deference to the pretty wrapping they’d carefully selected and applied to the red box tucked inside. She peeled back the layers of tissue to reveal the ornament woven with pearls and holding a silver plaque that read “Baby’s First Christmas.”
“Wow,” Catia whispered.
“Daddy said we should wait ‘til the baby’s born a give it to you, but we didn’t wanna wait,” Elsie said, bouncing. “Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful,” Catia whispered, touching it reverently. “Did you really help make this?”
They twisted up their faces in unison before they stole glances at each other. “We just watched and handed Nana the beads and crystals she asked for ‘cause we don’t know how to do that yet.”
My mother had been making jewelry for years, and we had two ornaments that she had lovingly crafted, one for each of the girls’ first Christmases, hanging on our tree at home.
“Well, it’s beautiful,” Catia said, setting it back in the box carefully. Placing the box back on the table, she opened her arms to the girls. “Thank you so much. I love it.”
“You’re welcome,” they said as they hugged her back.
I watched the three people I loved most sharing what I hoped would be the first of many special moments, and I knew I’d never tire of watching them together. No one would ever replace their mother, nor would I have wanted that, but I hoped the girls would forge a strong bond with Catia that would span the rest of our lives.
“Can we ask somethin’?” Emily asked, suddenly shy as she pulled back to look Catia in the eye.
“Sure,” Catia said, squeezing her hand. “You can ask me anything, honey.”
“Are you gonna have a boy or a girl?”
I held my breath, waiting for her response. I’d wondered about that too, though I suspected it might be too soon to tell. According to my calculations, she wasn’t three months pregnant yet. With any luck, we could find out together, unless she chose to wait until the baby was born.
“I don’t know yet,” Catia admitted. “Would you like a little brother or sister?”
“Brother.” Emily giggled. In a stage whisper, she added, “We think Daddy’d like a boy too.”
The thought of a baby boy flashed through my mind. Football games, coaching Little League, fishing trips, all the things I’d done with my father growing up… “It makes no difference to me. As long as the baby’s healthy, that’s all I care about.”
Catia and I shared a brief smile before she said, “I feel the same way.”
A knock on the door drew our attention before Catia’s father poked his head in.
“Merry Christmas, sir,” I said, stepping forward to offer my hand. “Thank you for having us.”
His eyes drifted to his daughter, as though he was looking for some sign. Eventually he nodded, a slight smile tipping his lips. “My pleasure. Glad you could make it.”
“Why don’t we head out and see what that cute little puppy of yours is up to?” Catia suggested, hustling the girls out of the room.
I closed the door behind them before turning to face my prospective father-in-law. “I was wondering if I might have a word with you, sir.” His gaze drifted to the open ring
box on the desk before I explained, “It’s a family ring. A stone to represent each of our birthstones, including the baby’s. Because that’s what I want more than anything, for us to be a real family.”
He sighed heavily before rounding the desk to claim the tufted leather swivel chair. “You could’ve fooled me.”
I wasn’t surprised he was annoyed with me. I would have been angry too if someone had treated my daughters the way I’d treated his. When he inclined his head, I claimed the chair across from him. “I feel like I need to start at the beginning to make you understand.”
He folded his hands over his stomach as he stared at me intently. “I’m listening.”
“I never believed in love at first sight until I met your daughter.” I’d been in lust with Karen at first sight, but we were kids then, and like any teenage boy, I’d been guided by my libido. “The first time I saw her, I just knew.”
“You knew what?” he asked skeptically.
I was dealing with a pragmatic man who’d built an empire on the basis of good sense and calculated risks. He wouldn’t be swayed by claims I couldn’t back up with facts. “That Catia was special. I guess that’s why I worked so hard to try to make inroads with her, because I wasn’t willing to let her return to Chicago without her knowing how I felt about her.”
“Yet you let her go. You never came after her.” He shook his head. “I never understood that. Had my wife pulled a stunt like that when we were dating, I would have hunted her down.” He chuckled, shaking her head. “Ah, but I guess times have changed, haven’t they?”
“Not that much,” I said ruefully. “I thought about hopping on a plane dozens of times, but I knew she had to come back to me because she wanted to, not because I wanted her to.”
“Makes sense, I guess.”
“The more time passed, the more bitter I became. I wanted to believe she’d realize inside of a month that we were meant to be together. Hell, it hadn’t even taken me that long.”
“My girl is stubborn,” he said, looking amused. “She hates to admit when she’s wrong.”
“We have that in common then,” I said, sharing his smile. “Maybe that’s why it took us so long to admit we’d made a mistake.”
Catia (Starkis Family #6) Page 18