Thoughtless

by Jacqueline Gardner

  The sound of the bell buzzed in my ears. I slowly walked towards my classroom, watching people walk by. A boy walked past wearing a long-sleeved shirt and baggy jeans. He adjusted his glasses when he saw me. Rory, I thought to myself. I got it.

  I had an idea, and it was better than all my previous plans. If I could just get Rory to say I was studying with him, my mom would sure believe it. I could even let her drop me off at the school and pick me up later. This could work. I speed walked the rest of the way to my classroom. I couldn't wait to sit down and get the day over with. I needed to pay a visit to the science lab. I sat down at my desk with an enormous smile on my face. This weekend was going to be unforgettable.

  * * *

  "I had to beg my guts out but it worked!" I was in the science lab practically jumping up and down.

  "Good for you," Rory muttered. "But just so you know, this is a one time thing. I don't even know why I said yes in the first place."

  "Yes Rory, your thoughts about Terrence have been clearly noted, but I happen to think he's perfect." I giggled and couldn't stop moving. Terrence would be here any second. He'd grab my hand and the two of us would finally go out on a full, uninterrupted date.

  "I'm just saying," Rory continued. His head was down and his brain was immersed in his AP Chemistry book. "Next time you want to fool your mom into letting you go out with Mr. Perfect, you're on your own." I rolled my eyes. The glass window on the storage closet door showed my reflection. I used it to check my hair and adjust my t-shirt one last time.

  "Remember if my mom happens to stop by unannounced . . ."

  "I say you're in the bathroom and send you a quick text," Rory interrupted. "Relax. You're acting like your mom doesn't trust you or something." Rory laughed to himself.

  "Not that's it's any of your business, but she usually trusts me just fine. It's just lately." My voice trailed off. I had tried to dig deep into my mom's brain. I searched and searched for answers but she was an expert at keeping her secrets on lockdown – much like Agent Squires.

  "Lately what?" Rory kept his head down but he was still listening. He had this weird ability to think about a few things at once. He could read his chemistry book while processing everything I said.

  "Well the other night she kind of freaked out. Agent Squires called her."

  "You should've expected that one Bridget. It's his job. I'd be surprised if he hadn't contacted your mom." Agent Squires had called Rory's mom as well. She was more worried than upset but Agent Squires had assured Rory's mom that things were being handled. Rory assured her too.

  "Yeah but I sort of let it slip that Agent Squires knew my secret, and she flipped."

  "It wasn't your fault though," Rory added. "It's not like you told him. He already knew."

  "That's exactly what I told her." I retreated to a stool and sat down. It felt good to finally talk to someone about the growing tension at my house. Nobody else really understood.

  "Well, did you ask her about it? There has to be a reason why your mom's so upset."

  "She didn't really give me the chance to ask anything. She just said I wasn't allowed to talk to Agent Squires or anyone else really, and that was it." I remembered the night of our argument – the image of my dad and the look on my mom's face. "There is one more thing. She started thinking about my dad, which was weird. She never thinks about him – ever." I had Rory's full attention now. He raised his eyebrows and the wheels in his head started turning.

  "What do know about your dad?" Rory asked curiously.

  "One box in my mom's closet. That's about it." I listened to Rory's deep thought process. He was trying to tie a few things together – my family, the FBI, my secret.

  "Your dad must have done something a long time ago," Rory said, letting his thoughts run wild. "Something involving the police or the FBI or something like that, and it must've ended badly." I rubbed my forehead. Nothing like that had ever come up in my house. And it wasn't something I could just ask my mom out of the blue. She hated talking about my dad.

  "Maybe," I muttered. "But the odds of that aren't very high." Rory let his thoughts wander before looking at me suddenly. His eyes were wide and his brain was basically lighting up like a siren - an epiphany. "What?"

  "Bridget," Rory gasped. "You know how Agent Squires acted all normal when he found out what you could do? You know, like he'd seen it before a million times?"

  "Rory, where are you going with this?" I asked. Rory stood up, hardly able to contain his excitement.

  "Well, have you ever wondered if you're not the only one – the only one in your family that can . . . you know?"

  "My mom definitely can't," I immediately replied. "I'd be grounded every weekend if she could."

  "Bridget, I mean your dad," Rory added. I shook my head. Rory had posed a good question – one that had never crossed my mind before; mostly because up until recently, I hid whatever I could and refused to talk about it. The way my mom acted, I always felt ashamed of what I could do.

  "You really think he could've been?" I said, now lost in thought. Rory shrugged. There weren't many moments in my life when I missed having a dad. My mom did a fine job on her own. But Rory's suggestion made me wonder. If my dad really did have the same abilities, there were so many questions I could have asked him. He could've helped me feel less different.

  "Bridget? You ready?" Terrence was standing in the doorway and I hardly even noticed. I stood up so fast that my stool almost fell over. "Rory." Terrence looked in Rory's direction.

  "Terrence," Rory nodded.

  "See ya," I said real fast as I grabbed Terrence's hand.

  "Two hours," Rory responded. "Remember you have two hours."

  "Yes I know," I responded impatiently. Rory shook his head with disapproval.

  "Don't get mad at me if your mom shows up and doesn't buy the whole 'bathroom' story."

  "Two hours!" Rory yelled as I shut the door to the science lab.

  "He's a real geek isn't he?" Terrence laughed and pulled me down the hallway. I just nodded in agreement. "So, I don't know how hungry you are but I thought we could stop at the café near the freeway."

  "Really, and what else did you have in mind?" I asked. Terrence smiled and put his arm around my waist.

  "You mean besides this?" He pulled me close. His body radiating with warmth and his lips perfectly moist, he kissed me firmly. "I don't know, maybe some food and a drive. Or maybe just the drive?" I was entranced by his eyes. I wished that we could spend all night together, but I didn't have much time.

  "I only have two hours," I sighed. Terrence kept smiling.

  "Right, right."

  "Don't worry," I assured him. "This whole grounded thing is only temporary. Soon we'll be able to hang out together all the time."

  We walked side by side to the parking lot where his black BMW was waiting. He opened my door for me and waited for me to slide in. I remembered the last kiss I'd received in this very spot – one of the highlights of my life. I checked my cell phone just to make sure Rory or my mom hadn't tried to contact me.

  "Everything ok?" Terrence asked. I gave him a thumbs up. He jumped in beside me and revved his engine. I felt anxious. My stomach was in knots again. I wasn't sure I'd be able to eat. I was too excited about being with Terrence.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lies

  "I'll just have the turkey sandwich with fries." I handed my plastic menu to the waitress. The café was full but not too noisy. I blocked out as many thoughts as I could and resorted to staring at the pictures of American muscle cars mounted on the walls. There were rows of pictures, all leading up to the dessert counter full of pies. "So tell me more about London." Asking Terrence about himself was the first thing that came to mind. We mostly talked about school and me, on occasion.

  "There's not much to tell. London is rainy and foggy."

  "Did you grow up there?" I blushed – another dumb question. "I mean, of course you grew up there. The accent."

  "Correct," h
e chuckled. This was harder than I thought. Normally, I wasn't really the question asking type. I never needed to pry to learn what I wanted.

  "You ever miss your friends back home?"

  "Sometimes. Believe it or not, I don't have many mates back home."

  "I find that hard to believe," I smiled. The waitress came back with our sodas. I took a sip from my straw.

  "Well, my parents move around a lot. They don't like being in one place for too long."

  "That sounds fun. I've lived here my whole life. I've had the same best friend since I was like three. Speaking of which, we should double sometime – you, me, Emma, and whatever dude she's into that week." I laughed but Terrence was starting to look a little uncomfortable. "Or not. I mean we don't have to right away. I just thought it might be fun."

  "Oh," Terrence replied. "Yeah, we can do that sometime." He stared at his soda cup, seemingly at a loss for words. I kept checking the time and looking over my shoulder. If I was in for a nasty surprise, like my mom showing up pulling Rory by the ear, I wanted to see it coming.

  "I'm sorry," I sighed. "This is hardly the best way to have our first official date. I practically jump every time I hear anything close to a ringing phone."

  "Well, it's hardly romantic." Terrence grabbed my hand from across the table. "But we'll make the best of it until . . . how long is your mum grounding you for?" I blushed and flipped my hair.

  "Probably the rest of my life," I laughed. My entire body froze up when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I frowned and closed my eyes for a second. I'd never been so scared of my phone. Please don't be Rory. Please don't be Rory. Crap!

  "Sorry," I whispered to Terrence. I answered the phone and waited to hear Rory's panicked voice on the other end. "Rory, this better be important."

  "Where are you?" he asked quietly. I looked around the restaurant.

  "Eating. Is my mom there?" I braced myself for his reply. We hadn't even been gone an hour.

  "No, but . . ."

  "If there's nothing mom-related going on then why are you calling me?" I interrupted. Rory's voice was quiet. I could tell right away that it wasn't his intention to ruin my time with Terrence. He had the opportunity to insert a sarcastic comment but he didn't.

  "Bridget, there's something I have to tell you." The tone of his voice started to scare me. He was speaking the same way he had on homecoming night. "Can you step away for a minute?"

  "Just tell me real quick," I replied. Rory paused for a minute.

  "Bridget, it's about the bracelet." My eyes went wide.

  "Is everything alright?" Terrence asked. I stood up.

  "It's fine," I quickly replied. "No mom trouble. I'm just going to visit the ladies room. I'll just be a minute." I left Terrence at our table looking confused. I covered the receiver with my hand until I could step around the corner.

  "Ok Rory," I whispered. My back was pressed up against the wall, and I was suspiciously eyeing everyone in the booths near the bathrooms. "You're starting to freak me out. What is it?"

  "My cousin called. He gave me some info about the bracelet."

  "And?" I could here Rory breathing heavily on the other end.

  "That symbol on the charm, it's a crest. It comes from a school called St. Peter's Ladies College. The bracelet is a gift given to each graduating student." All the noises around me blurred together. I couldn't stand the beating in my chest. It was pounding so fast that I was starting to sweat.

  "A girl's school? I don't get it."

  "There's more," Rory continued.

  "Of course there is," I replied frustrated. Rory sounded a little upset.

  "Bridget, be serious. I think you need to come back, now!"

  "Why?" I questioned. Rory sounded hesitant but he forced the words out of his mouth.

  "Because St. Peter's . . . it's in northern London." I looked at the floor, able to hear myself swallow. After a minute of silence, I was so confused that I grabbed hold of the first emotion that come over me – anger.

  "What are you implying? So, you think because Terrence is from London that he's automatically a suspect?"

  "I'm just saying that you should be cautious," Rory protested. "He's new. We don't know him very well." I could feel my face getting hot.

  "You don't know him like I do!" I tried to keep my voice down. The people in the nearest booth were turning around and giving me strange looks. "You're just jealous. Yeah, that's it! You're jealous that I have friends and you don't." Rory was silent. I heard him sigh. A bead of sweat rolled down my forehead. As soon as I finished my rant I regretted it, but the damage had already been done.

  "You know what, Bridget. Do whatever you want. I'm done trying to help you." Rory didn't yell back. His voice didn't even sound angry.

  "Rory," I said in a soft voice. "I . . ." The line went dead. I hung up, realizing that I was in an even worse situation now. I fixed my hair and fanned my face before turning the corner again. Terrence was tapping his foot underneath the table. Our food had already arrived. I could see steam rising from the pile of fries on my plate.

  "There you are," Terrence said. He grabbed a fry. "Everything ok?" I nodded. I quietly sat down and picked up my turkey sandwich, taking a few bites. But my food tasted bland.

  "We should probably go." My voice was sad. Terrence looked confused but he kept a smile on his face.

  "You seem a little down. What did Rory say?"

  I shrugged. I was too emotional at the moment. Thoughts and spoken words were starting to blur together.

  "Just a bunch of nonsense that doesn't matter," I muttered.

  "Hmmm. Well, he is pretty strange," Terrence replied. I didn't say anything. I was still a bit dazed. I had let my frustration get to me.

  "Sorry Terrence but suddenly I'm just not that hungry." I watched as the look in his eyes suddenly changed. Terrence was annoyed, but his fake smile persisted. I pushed my plate aside and folded my arms, staring out the window. Leaves were swirling outside. The sky was turning a deeper shade of gray.

  "Alright," he replied looking disappointed. "I'll get the check." He waved at our waitress.

  "I'm sorry."

  "Don't apologize. Time just isn't on our side right now." Our waitress rushed to the table and handed Terrence the check. He threw down a wad of cash and stood up. I followed with my head down, dragging my feet all the way back to his shiny, black BMW.

  "I promise," I pleaded as Terrence slid into the driver's seat. "Things aren't usually this crazy. Just give it a few weeks."

  "Yeah maybe you're right." Terrence didn't look at me, and he didn't grab my hand like he always did. I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking.

  As we drove, Rory's words kept replaying in my head. How well do you really know Terrence? Terrence stayed silent. Everything out my window was a rich orangey-yellow. I glanced at Terrence and found a strand of hair to twirl.

  "I hope I didn't ruin your evening," I began. Terrence shook his head like it was no big deal. "So, you're parents must wonder who's been keeping you out. Have you told them about me?" Terrence raised his eyebrows. My question had caught him by surprise.

  "Uh, I guess. Sort of. I mean, they know I've been seeing someone."

  "Well, maybe I could meet them sometime."

  "Ok," Terrence quietly replied. "If you really want to. They're pretty boring though."

  "What about your sibling? Sorry, I can't remember if you said you had a brother or a sister."

  "Sibling?" Terrence cleared his throat. "I'm an only child." I thought back to our sort-of-date at the ice cream shop. I was pretty sure I'd heard him correctly. I remember laying on my bed all night thinking about every word Terrence had said to me.

  "Oh, I thought you said you had a sibling." I watched as Terrence paused for a minute and looked out his window.

  "Oh, I'm sorry. I must've meant my cousin, Tony. He's lived with us so long, he's practically my brother." He chuckled. I smiled but the image of the bracelet came back into my head. What if Ror
y was right? What if Terrence was somehow involved? I tried to react normally, but tons of questions were flashing through my head.

  "Your cousin," I replied. "Yeah, of course. How old is he?" Terrence took some time to think.

  "Uh, twenty three? I lose track, you know." He reached for my hand. I let him interlock our fingers but my hand was limp. We were almost back at school and I wasn't any closer to learning more about Terrence. His brain had walls – walls I couldn't break through. It was weird.

  "And your parents? What do they do for a living?" Again, more silence from Terrence. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It was making me uneasy.

  "Um, this and that. They do a lot of freelance work for lots of different companies. That's why we move so much," Terrence replied. I nodded to hide my discomfort. If I could've read Terrence's thoughts right then, they would probably be the exact opposite of what he was saying.

  "How exciting," I muttered. We finally pulled up to the school parking lot. And for the first time, I wanted some space. I wasn't as sad about leaving Terrence this time – or about cutting our first official date short. I was too worried that I'd ruined my friendship with Rory – the only other person on the planet aside from my mom that knew the truth about me. The car stopped. My hand reached for the door handle.

  "Is something wrong?" Terrence leaned closer. He wanted a goodbye kiss. I smiled and opened the car door.

  "No, I'm just tired." I moved towards Terrence and let him give me a quick kiss on the lips. The butterflies in my stomach died down. Terrence's lips were soft but not as exciting as they used to be. I just couldn't tell if he was being sincere. I shut the car door and heaved a huge sigh as I ran back into the school. The halls were silent and my footsteps made loud echoes. I jogged to the science lab, hoping that Rory hadn't left.