Alien in the House

by Gini Koch

  “Do you have a secret hideout nearby that we can get to?” I asked as I dug my Glock out of my purse and hooked said purse over my neck.

  “We’re blocked from it,” the Dingo replied tersely.

  “That’s Raul shooting at us, isn’t it?”

  “Probably. He’s anticipated us.”

  “And has likely discovered our hideout,” Surly Vic added.

  “Awesome. Think he’s figured out you’re trying to protect me?”

  “Or that we’re trying to stop him,” the Dingo said. “Either way, either he or we die tonight.”

  “Super. Let’s make sure that it’s him. Richard, Raj, Paul, I think it’s time for us to do something here.”

  “Raj, protect the Pontifex,” White said. “Missus Martini, I believe I can see our shooters, and I meant the plural.”

  “Oh, good. Raul’s new chick’s along for the ride?”

  “Presumably. Can you see where the shots are coming from? I can, but I want to make sure you can as well.”

  “They’re in some trees. Dude loves to perch, doesn’t he?” As I said this, it occurred to me that I had no idea where Bruno was. Or Harlie and Poofikins, for that matter. “So, do we run up into the trees or just shake them really hard?”

  “You both stay down,” the Dingo said, as he aimed and fired. The bullets didn’t stop coming at us.

  Something was wrong with all of this. It was like we were in an Old West shootout. We had the poorer ground—we were low, the enemy was high. And yet, the bullets weren’t really coming near us. If we’d been standing up we’d likely be shot, but the shooters hadn’t altered their aim. At all.

  Meaning there wasn’t anyone actually shooting.

  “Richard, there’s no one manning those guns. Can you get to them without being hit?”

  “As long as the friendly fire ceases.”

  “Uncles Peter and Victor, please stop shooting. You’re wasting ammo we’re going to need.”

  They stopped and White took off. He had to run around Rahmi in order to not get hit by bullets or battle staffs, but he was up in one of the offending trees in just a couple of seconds. The shooting from that tree stopped. White climbed down the one tree and up the other. The gunfire stopped completely. The princesses stopped spinning their staffs.

  “Why the elaborate charade?” Gower asked.

  Been asking that myself. “My guess is that we need to turn around and be ready for an ambush.”

  “You do.” The voice wasn’t Clarence’s. It was Doreen’s. “Stand up, too, please.”

  Did as requested to see Doreen and Irving standing there. It was dark out but my eyes were adjusted and A-Cs had better night vision, which I’d also inherited, so it was easy to see that they were holding guns. Clarence was between them.

  “Wow. Did not see this one coming.” Though, as I thought about it, I hadn’t seen Doreen and Irving all day or night.

  She shrugged. “Clarence was my father’s Chief Aide. He was like a second father to me. When you told me he was back, I used an old method I’d heard my father talk about to reach him.”

  “You nursed him back to health?”

  “No,” Clarence said. “That was my new friend who also hates you.”

  “Raul, or someone else?”

  “I don’t know,” Doreen said. “I haven’t cared enough to ask. We only connected yesterday.”

  There was something about the way Doreen was talking, her choices of words. And her tone of voice—she was Over-The-Top Evil Genius About To Twirl Mustache. And yet, there were three of us holding guns, and she hadn’t told us to drop them. An idea nudged. “Is Raul here, too? Or is he killing Esteban Cantu?”

  “I took care of that already,” Clarence said with a grin. “And your mother and the two kings with her are dealing with the blame.”

  “Who tipped you off that they were going there?”

  “Clarence says he has friends in high places,” Doreen answered, sounding incredibly impressed. The idea solidified. Now, how to share it with the others?

  “Like who? Langston Whitmore?”

  “That idiot?” Clarence laughed. “He’s not as important as he thinks he is.” But since Clarence knew who he was, it was likely Whitmore was one of the Apprentice Wannabes.

  “How did you get in? I mean, it’s impossible. I wanted to go there, but realized there was no way any of us here could manage it.”

  Doreen snorted. “Especially since everyone with you is really untrained in any kind of Field work, let alone the skills needed to do what Clarence did.” Hoped the others were catching the clue by now, but couldn’t risk looking at their expressions.

  “Don’t buy it. Clarence has never struck me as that smart.”

  He smirked. “Your mommy had to call for clearance. We have the right people on our side, and they contacted Raul. It’s hard to get into the Pentagon, sure, if you’re a human,” he sneered the word. “But I just waited around until they showed up and ran past them.”

  “Just like you did in order to kill Edmund Brewer earlier.”

  “Yeah, and you’d think your genius of a husband would have thought of that, but it didn’t occur to him at all. So, once in, it was easy enough to move so fast no one could see me and get where I needed to go.”

  “Oh, I’m sure it wasn’t easy,” Doreen said. “Did you have to kill a lot of people?”

  “No. That wasn’t my part to play in this instance. Stole a keycard off of someone and used it to get down levels. Card stopped working? Grabbed another card. Places like that, once you’re in, they think you should be in. Found Cantu’s cell, gave him a nice drink filled with arsenic. Your ‘team’ came in, I left. Cantu died while they watched.”

  “Why kill him?” Was clear on why they’d use arsenic—Reyes had died from arsenic poisoning at our party and every person there with Mom had been at that party, too. They were going to be questioned, potentially for hours. Brilliant move, really. Therefore, I knew Clarence hadn’t come up with it. “Uncles Victor and Peter, you said you thought Cantu was the Mastermind.” They hadn’t, and I hoped that would give them a clue.

  “Him? He was never in charge. He wanted to be, but he got on the radar too fast. He was useful, but if the boss had wanted him out of lockup, he’d have been out a long time ago. He’d played his part, and his usefulness was done.”

  “By boss, you don’t mean Ronaldo al Dejahl, do you?”

  “No idea what happened to him. Don’t care. He didn’t cover my back when I needed it.”

  “Who did?”

  Clarence grinned. “You get to die without knowing. I know the saying—curiosity killed the cat. You’ll hate dying even more because you won’t know who’s in charge, and who’s going to be raising your daughter.”

  “Always with you people it’s the stealing of babies and little children. Pathetic.”

  “Raul will be coming soon,” Doreen said. “He had to take care of some other business. Someone was looking for Clarence at Georgetown. I think his new partner will be with him, too.”

  Belayed worry about Reader and that team. Hopefully they were still all alive and unharmed. “So, you’re waiting for Raul?”

  “Yes,” Clarence said. “He wants the confirmation of who actually killed his wife before we kill all of you.”

  So he didn’t know for sure. Or he suspected and wanted proof. Or else that’s what Raul told Clarence and there was something else going on. I voted for whatever was behind Door Number Three. “How does his new chick feel about his slavish devotion to a dead woman? And have you been the one killing all the various politicians?”

  He shrugged. “She doesn’t mind. And, no, that wasn’t me. I have a different part to play.” He was in love with this phrase. I’d never heard it from him before, so my bet was one of his new besties liked it and Clarence had picked it up.

  “Yeah, trying to blow up the Embassy, and killing Cantu. Seems like they’re not utilizing you a lot or giving you the lead parts.”

/>   “Oh, I cleaned up the mess with Brewer.”

  “I thought that was someone else’s plan.”

  Clarence looked angry. “Someone else who screwed up. Took care of her, too.”

  “So, you killed Pia Ryan and then you set up the car bomb in Cliff Goodman’s car and dumped her body off to blow up along with him?”

  “Yeah. Too damn bad he had that remote starter thing. Would have been nice to get rid of you, the big king, and the know-it-all jerk at the same time.”

  “Doesn’t that count as you screwing up?”

  He shrugged. “It won’t matter. They’ll end up deciding Pia was the one who set the bomb and that cleans her part up nicely.”

  Presumably because the authorities would be thinking the wrong person had tried to kill Cliff and then could assume she’d killed anyone else that was convenient. “Have you seen your wife and children?”

  “No. She chose her family over me, turned my children against me.”

  She had? Good for Sylvia. “So, who’s been killing all the representatives? Pia did some, right? But not all. And Cantu’s gone, too, at least according to you. So I’m not buying it—you and Raul must have killed the rest of the representatives.”

  “Pia did her share.” Clarence shrugged again. “It’s a game. Raul thinks it’s funny. None of them are as important to the boss as he is. And as I am,” he added with smug pride. “Pia’s gone, yeah, but there are plenty who want to work with the boss. Raul’s even given them a few pointers. From a distance. Some people understand how to utilize talents and some don’t.”

  “So why did you guys allow Eugene Montgomery to try to kill Edmund Brewer at my party? I get why killing someone there would be bad for American Centaurion, but really, it just seemed stupid. Every other death looked natural or accidental.”

  Clarence’s eyes narrowed and the smile left his face. “Some people insist on using the easy resource that’s at hand. Though her plan worked. The boss might even be impressed, but then again, the others screwed up so badly, she might be ahead by not being as far behind.”

  She. And the she he was talking about sounded very much alive, so it was doubtful he meant Pia. “Who else besides Pia and Cantu screwed up?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know? I’m not telling you anything.”

  Refrained from mentioning that he’d already told me a lot. “How did you hit Malcolm Buchanan with that drug?”

  “It was easy.”

  Doubted that. In order to get Buchanan, Clarence would have had to slow down. And there wasn’t a mark on Buchanan. There hadn’t been a mark on Juvonic, either. “You used a blowgun.”

  Clarence looked surprised. “Yeah.”

  “Why did you dump him in the tunnels under the Gaultier Research facility?”

  “For me to know—”

  “And me to never find out, yeah, yeah. So let me guess. Someone from Gaultier is trying to get in good with your boss, and you don’t like them.” His mouth twitched. “Either that, or you have friends who are working there now, and you were showing off.” His mouth twitched again, but he didn’t respond. No worries, had a feeling both guesses were right. “So you did kill Representative Juvonic.”

  “No, that wasn’t me.” Interesting what made him talk.

  “I saw someone up on the roof right before he was hit.”

  “Wasn’t me. Wasn’t Raul, either. Our jobs are to clean up their messes, not to help them.” Them again. There were at least two still vying for the Apprentice job—Whitmore and our mystery woman. Mystery woman could be from Gaultier, but if she wasn’t, then we had at least three vying for the job. Considering what was going on at Gaultier, we could have twenty vying for the job.

  “And Raul’s going to be here really soon,” Doreen said. Got the impression she also wanted to say, “Hint, hint,” but was smart enough to control herself. We probably didn’t have any more time for me to plumb the rest of Clarence’s information well.

  “Uncles Peter and Victor, you know how you’re the experts in your field?”

  “Yes,” the Dingo said tersely.

  “Well, I’m the expert in mine. Please put your guns down.”

  “What?” Surly Vic sounded shocked.

  “Guns. Down. Now. So Raul doesn’t shoot you as soon as he arrives.”

  “Do it,” Irving said, waving his gun at them. Really hoped he didn’t pull the trigger by accident.

  “Put yours down, too,” Clarence said, as the assassins dropped their guns down.

  “Maybe. Clarence, may I introduce you to Princesses Rahmi and Rhee? Girls, this is Clarence Valentino, Traitor at Large. Do you see him?”

  “Yes,” Rhee said.

  “For the past few minutes,” Rahmi added.

  “Just making sure. Rahmi, Rhee—kill Clarence Valentino.”

  CHAPTER 92

  THINGS HAPPENED VERY QUICKLY. Rahmi and Rhee leaped toward Clarence as Doreen and Irving flung themselves down and to the sides. White grabbed the assassin’s guns at hyperspeed, and Raj shoved Gower down.

  Clarence, however, was slow to react, presumably because this turn of events had really caught him by surprise. Which was fine with me, because the princesses caught him with their battle staffs.

  I’d grown up with relatively easygoing cats and dogs. But occasionally a cat would come into our yard and attempt the feline form of Mob Protection. My cats never stood for that. So I’d seen more than a few catfights where the cats were boiling around each other, so busy fighting and flipping, clawing, screaming, and biting, that it was hard to tell where one cat started and another began.

  This fight was like that.

  Clarence had speed, size, and strength. But he’d never been Field trained, as Doreen had so nicely reminded me.

  The princesses, on the other hand, weren’t exactly tiny to begin with, and they were the top fighters on a planet that pretty much lived for fighting. Plus they had the battle staffs, and memory reminded me that those things hurt like hell when they connected with you. When activated, as they were now, they also glowed at one end, and that one end was more “lightsaber” than “piece of wood.”

  White shoved the guns at Raj and Paul, then ran and grabbed Irving just before the fighters trampled him. Doreen, seeing that Irving was safe, got to us on her own.

  “Doreen Coleman Weisman, you, my young lady, are an impressive liar.”

  She grinned. “Thanks. I’ve been working at it for years. I still don’t think I can fool anyone for too long, but it’s an important trait to have in the Embassy.”

  “You were obvious, and your husband was worse,” the Dingo said. “Which is the only reason we dropped our weapons, because it was clear our ‘niece’ would not risk us shooting the two of you.”

  “Not obvious to Clarence, which was all that mattered.”

  Speaking of whom, he was still hanging in there. However, he wasn’t fighting with any skill, and the same couldn’t be said for Rahmi and Rhee. Clarence was doing a lot of flipping and jumping, while trying to grab the girls and slam them into things.

  The operative word was “trying.” The battle staffs gave the girls more reach and while he might have had a shot at running away from one of them, with there being two, any time he went away from one warrior princess, the other was right there, waiting for him.

  Rhee gave a war cry and swept his legs while Rahmi gave an answering cry and slammed her staff against his chest. Clarence was down, flat on his back, each one of the girls with a foot on his chest, glowing ends of two battle staffs less than an inch from his head.

  “Who has the right of the kill?” Rahmi shouted.

  “Do you really want him dead?” Doreen asked. “He still has information.”

  “We’ll have to torture him to get it, and we won’t be able to trust it anyway. No, we got all we could, and you were awesome with that, I must say. It’s time to end Clarence’s personal family vendetta. Besides, I think Rahmi and Rhee’s Earth Vacation would be considered a total downer i
f they didn’t get to kill one bad guy. Though if it looks like Clarence is going to get away, I’m all for just shooting him, as long as the girls aren’t hurt.”

  “Are you sure we got everything?” Doreen sounded doubtful.

  “I agree with my ‘niece,’” Surly Vic said. Wow, I’d moved up to official family for him, too. This Operation was just chock-full of surprises. “Anything he says now will be suspect, and he could waste much of your time or cause unrest.”

  “He needs to be dealt with,” the Dingo added. “Permanently.”

  “Oh, I agree.”

  The princesses were arguing about who should kill Clarence. Which meant they weren’t paying attention to him. Not good. Clarence used their distraction to flip and twist his lower body in such a way that he knocked them off his upper body as he flipped back to his feet.

  Which was fine. I’d already aimed and I emptied the clip into him. Clarence fell back again, and this time he didn’t get up. “Clarence, curiosity did kill the cat. But satisfaction brought her back.” Dropped the clip, dug around in my purse, got out a new clip, put in it. Rahmi and Rhee stared at me, openmouthed.

  “Princesses, that’s how we do things across the galactic railroad tracks in the dirty downtown that is Earth. In the future, the ‘honor’ of the kill isn’t nearly as important as ensuring that your very dangerous opponent is really most sincerely dead.”

  “I am so proud,” the Dingo said. It was clear that he meant it.

  “Is Raul truly on his way?” White asked as Raj gave the assassins back their guns.

  “I hope not,” Doreen said. “Lorraine texted me when they were rolling. I couldn’t tell her I was with Clarence because that would have blown my cover. But I could warn her. She and I have a password thing where if one of us says one word, we’re in trouble, and if we say the other word, it’s the other person in trouble. I gave her the word.”