Alien in the House

by Gini Koch

  “Good, so they were ready.”

  “Hope so. Clarence called Raul and told him what was going on. Raul said he’d handle it and meet us back here, in time to kill all of you himself.”

  “Who did Raul think he was going after at Georgetown?”

  She shrugged. “A couple of uppity girls. I had to tell him Lorraine and Claudia both were going, Clarence knows us well enough to know that if one was there, the other would be, too. I didn’t share that the ‘we’ Lorraine was talking about probably included Airborne, too.”

  “Actually, the ‘we’ includes Mossad as well. Let’s hope Raul’s toast.”

  “We don’t want him dead,” Gower said, patience clearly forced. “He’s the only one with the answers.”

  “Well, our team knows that. Doreen, you weren’t with Clarence when he hit the Pentagon, were you?”

  “No. We were with him here, setting up the automatic guns, when he got that call from Raul. He told us he had to do something, took off, and was back in about fifteen minutes. Which, considering how fast he could move fit for what he just told you he did.”

  “He didn’t tell us where he’d been until he was back,” Irving added. “So we couldn’t warn anyone until it was too late.”

  “Though I’d assume he wasn’t thinking that, just making sure he didn’t miss Mom’s arrival.”

  “Yeah, I think so,” Doreen agreed. “We waited for you quite a ways away. He set off the guns remotely.”

  “And we didn’t have blanks,” Irving said. “We would have switched the bullets otherwise, but neither one of us knew where to go to get blanks. I’m sorry.”

  “Is anyone on our side of things bleeding? No? Then no need to apologize. You did great.”

  Irving looked shyly proud. Considering he was a total math and science nerd, aka Dazzler Bait of the Highest Order, this kind of action wasn’t his normal gig. Doreen looked proud, too. Like Lorraine and Claudia before her, though, I got the impression Doreen had just officially become an Adrenaline Junkie. Chalked another one up to my bad influence.

  “Thanks, Kitty,” Doreen said. “I didn’t have time to tell you what we were planning. I’m glad you caught on.”

  “You did great. I’ll even brag about you to Camilla the next time I see her. Okay, I don’t want to leave Clarence’s body here, there, or anywhere. Princesses, you need to carry him back to the Embassy, we’ll dispose of him there. Doreen, you take Irving and get back, too.” Received a look of relief and grateful thanks from Irving for this. “Tell them what you did, so no one there is surprised and so everyone there is ready in case Mom, Jeff, James, or Tim call for help of some kind.”

  “You sure you don’t want the Poofs to eat him?” Doreen asked. “It’s a lot easier to explain and then we wouldn’t have to leave you.” Irving’s expression went to resignation.

  “No, not in this case. I’m cool with Tito and Dulce doing medical experiments on him, and they may want to.” Doreen didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t argue. Besides, had no idea where my Poofs actually were. No sooner thought than Harlie and Poofikins appeared. On Doreen’s shoulders. Her Poof and Irving’s were on his shoulders. “Hey, have they been with you this whole time?”

  “Yes, well, they showed up in the afternoon, when we met up with Clarence. I think they were protecting us and making sure we weren’t being bad.” She petted both Poofs, who purred at her. “And it’s always nice to have the extra Poof backup.”

  My actual guess was that Harlie and Poofikins had followed Clarence after he’d killed Brewer, discovered he was with Doreen and Irving, and stuck around to ensure all was well. Which begged a question. “Poofies, did you all see Raul the Assassin?”

  Much Poof mewling. Harlie and Poofikins rubbed up against Doreen and then bounded over to me. Doreen’s Poof went back to her. “Huh. Um, okay.”

  “What did they say?” White asked.

  “That Raul was for sure with Clarence when they killed Brewer. However, our Field agents were killed by those two prior to when we all went over for brunch, because the Poofs never saw it happen. And Raul is a scary person, but the Poofs felt that it was more vital to be sure that Doreen and Irving were being good than to follow the scary person.” I didn’t add that they hadn’t felt the need because Bruno was on the case there. Why have the two assassins with us decide I was more insane than they probably thought I was by now?

  “So, now what?” Irving asked.

  “Now you all get back to the Embassy and stay there.”

  “You sure you’re okay here?” Doreen asked.

  “Have gun, A-Cs, and the two best assassins in the world, will travel.” Surly Vic snorted a laugh. Everyone else gave me a “huh?” look. Oh, well, at least someone here found me amusing. “Yes, we’ll be fine.”

  The four of them took off, Doreen looking uncertain about leaving us, Irving back to happy relief about going home, the princesses carrying the dead body like proud hunters returning from a very successful day out in the wild, and Clarence looking like the only part he’d be playing anymore was in the dinner theater revival of Weekend at Bernie’s. Could only hope that he was going to stay dead this time.

  “Now what?” Gower asked.

  “If Raul is at the University, then we should go there,” the Dingo said.

  “Actually, no, you shouldn’t. Because I wasn’t joking—Mossad is there along with our people. And they want you two dead, too.” My phone chose this moment to ring. Pulled it out. “Mom, are you guys okay?”

  “Yes. Are you?”

  “Yes. Clarence is dead but we got some intel from him. Is Cantu alive or dead?”

  “Very dead, how did you know to ask?”

  “Long story. Are you guys okay? My impression was that you were framed for Cantu’s death.”

  “We were, and we’re fine now, but only because Charles convinced the idiot on duty to call Cliff and Cliff called the President. Apparently my word wasn’t enough for people here.” Mom sounded furious.

  “Cantu was poisoned, right?”

  “Right. Arsenic. And yes, I understand why that looked suspect.”

  “Yeah. And someone there is in the Mastermind’s pocket, or vying to be an Apprentice, because Clarence got in by piggybacking on you guys, and Raul knew to send him because he was advised the moment you made the call to clear your team to enter.”

  “Really? Interesting.” Mom was quiet for a few seconds. “Variety of options. I’m going to need to investigate, right now.”

  “Okay, oh, and Mom? Be sure to announce to anyone and everyone that the killer was the Dingo. Do not give either Clarence or Raul the credit.”

  “Why?”

  “Another long story. Just trust me on that. The Dingo and his partner did the deed, no one else. And please keep Kevin with you, and the other guys, too. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  “Your husband is not willing to stay.”

  “Christopher probably isn’t, either, is he?”

  “Well, he’s actually reading all the security video, so he’s here for the duration. Which could make what you want me to say an issue.”

  “No, they can have an inside man. But they’re the ones who did it. Promise me.”

  Mom heaved a sigh. “Oh, of course.”

  “It’s for the greater good.”

  “Sure it is. Jeff wants to talk to you.” The phone was handed off. “Baby, are you okay?”

  “Yes, why aren’t you staying to help Mom?”

  “Because unless we strip search every single person here, I can’t be sure that I’m reading them right. Cantu died in front of us and he never gave off a reading other than suspicious and smug.”

  “Crap. Okay, have you guys heard from James or Tim?”

  “No. We just got our phones back and you were the first call.”

  “I’m touched. I think we’re heading to Georgetown, then. Because Raul and, I’m betting, his new lady friend are there.”

  “You’re not going without
me.”

  “You’re the target.”

  “So are you.”

  The Dingo took the phone from my hand. “You will return to your Embassy. So will your wife. You will stop giving Raul opportunities to achieve his purpose.” Then he hung up and handed my phone back. “Either your team will have captured or killed Raul and his new partner, or they will have failed. His goal is to destroy you. It’s time for you to go home.”

  “But—”

  “You have a mystery to solve,” Surly Vic said. “We have a colleague to kill, if he is not in custody.”

  “Mossad will not allow him to reach a police station,” the Dingo said. He smiled at me. “But thank you for requesting that we get the credit for Cantu’s death. I doubt your mother will comply, but the effort is appreciated. Now, get to safety.”

  Heaved a sigh. “Fine, fine. I have to figure out how to get Lillian Culver and Guy Gadoire to help us out with all the political crap anyway.”

  “What do you mean?” Gower asked.

  “Per Senator McMillan, they’re the two with the most influence. If we want the bills to die fast and without a lot of ‘aliens are evil’ conflict, we need their help, and we need it fast. Meaning I’m going to have to make nice with them in a big way. Meaning I’d rather go to a gunfight.”

  “They will help you,” the Dingo said.

  “I doubt it. Not without us having to do favors for them that will go against everything we believe in. Right now, we need their help desperately. They don’t need ours nearly so much.”

  “It will work out, I’m sure.” The Dingo looked at the men with me. “Get home, and ensure she goes home as well.”

  “We will,” Gower said.

  The assassins nodded to us, then they trotted off into the night.

  “So, guys, what now?”

  White took one hand, Gower took the other. “Now, we go home, as your ‘uncles’ suggested,” White said. “And you allow Alpha and Airborne to do their jobs. Without you.”

  “Don’t wanna.”

  “Your daughter’s birthday is tomorrow,” Raj said. “I believe it would be best if her mother and father were alive and there to celebrate it with her.”

  “Raj, make a note—I hate it when your logic doesn’t support what I want to do.”

  He flashed the troubadour smile. “You can take it out of my pay.”

  “Do we pay you?”

  “I’m earning important experience so necessary to career advancement.”

  “Wow. Raj, is the ability to lie a troubadour trait?”

  He laughed. “All the world’s a stage, Ambassador. Or so I’ve heard.”

  CHAPTER 93

  WE ZIPPED HOME to find Jeff there, pacing in the foyer. “I wasn’t sure you were really coming here,” he said as he hugged me tightly.

  “My ‘uncles’ wanted us both home and they impressed that upon everyone.”

  “In other words, we gave her no choice,” Gower said.

  “Why were you there at all, Paul?” Jeff asked.

  Gower dodged the question by heading into the kitchen. The rest of us followed him. “Where’s Chuck?” Naomi asked.

  “Handling political things,” Jeff said. “He’s fine, so are all the others. I was ordered home by pretty much everyone.”

  “Has anyone heard from James or Tim or anyone with them?”

  “Well, heard, no,” Pierre said. “However, we’ve been manning the airwaves thanks to our brilliant computer geniuses, and there were reports of a massive paintball game on the Georgetown campus.”

  “Paintball?” Jeff sounded confused. He spoke for all of us.

  Amy gave him the “duh” look. “Imageering altered footage and reports. We contacted Serene. The team is back in Dulce. They’re all fine, other than some minor injuries. Lorraine was tipped off that there was going to be trouble, so they were ready.” She winked at Doreen, who grinned.

  “There’s bad news, though,” Len said. “They couldn’t take Raul alive.”

  Kyle nodded. “From what we were told, Mossad took him out.”

  “That’s because he was about to shoot me in the head,” Reader said as he and Tim came in. “Under the circumstances, I felt okay with Jakob going for the kill shot.”

  “Kitty got plenty out of Clarence,” Doreen said.

  “Hopefully it’ll help.” Heaved a sigh. “I want to know what the home team found, and I’m sure the home team wants to know what everyone else did.”

  “Before that, I have something to return to you,” Tim said. “Okay, stop playing around and unstealth yourself.”

  Bruno appeared at my feet. “Where have you been?” Picked him up and hugged him. He was heavy, but he appreciated the snuggle, because he wrapped his neck around mine and cooed.

  “Why are you hugging that bird?” Jeff asked.

  “Wow, I’m not gracing that with a response, Mister Parrot Lover. What was Bruno doing with you guys?” I asked as I put him down.

  “As near as I can tell, he was following Raul,” Tim said. “I say that because Bruno there stopped us from walking into an ambush.”

  “I thought you guys were warned by Lorraine and Doreen’s Secret Word Club.”

  “Airborne was warned. James and I weren’t warned.”

  “Well, good job, Bruno. As always.” He’d gone after whoever shot Jeff. That had been pretty much confirmed to be Raul’s new girl. “So, was Raul’s girlfriend caught?”

  “No,” Reader said. “I’m not sure that she was with him.”

  Looked at Bruno. He shrugged his wings. She’d been there, but she was gone, and protecting the team had taken precedence. I could buy that and decided it wasn’t vital enough to share.

  “Let’s tell you what we’ve found,” Abigail said. “So that we can clean up the kitchen before Jamie’s party tomorrow.”

  Right. The party. Memory shared that I had some work to do before then. “Okay, you know, everyone catch each other up. I have to make some calls.” I didn’t want to make them, but I was clear that I had no choice.

  Stepped out of the room and went into Raj’s office. He and Jeff came with me. “What are you doing?” Jeff asked.

  “Something I have to do.”

  While Raj quietly explained the situation to Jeff, I contemplated my options. Chose to call Gadoire first, in part because it was less odious than calling Culver first. That I’d had these people’s phone numbers stored was either a testament to my planning or just proof that the universe enjoyed a good joke. Bet on the latter.

  “Hello, my dove. Do you need me?”

  “Hi, Guy, and yes, in a way. We discovered that some of the invitations to our daughter’s birthday party weren’t mailed, and the one to you and Vance was in that group. So, I realize it’s terribly short notice, and that tomorrow’s Christmas, but was wondering if you’d be able to come.”

  “My dove, nothing would give me greater pleasure.”

  I could think of a lot of things that would give most adults greater pleasure than attending a one-year-old’s party, but I kept that to myself. “Great! We’ll see you tomorrow then. Three in the afternoon.”

  “I’ll be there. Will it be alright if I bring dear Lydia with me? I don’t believe it’s safe for her to be alone right now.”

  I needed Gadoire’s help. He could bring a Bengal tiger along and I’d have to smile and give it a party hat and a piece of cake. “Sure, that would be great.”

  We got off and I called Lillian Culver. She expressed great joy at the invitation along with the proper understanding of how people could forget to mail important letters, and guaranteed that she and Abner would be in attendance.

  Politically required sucking-up done, all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Jeff picked it up. “Raj, can you cover whatever and fill us in tomorrow morning?” he asked as he picked me up.

  “Absolutely. Get good rest.”

  “You too,” I managed before I snuggled into Jeff’s neck. Heard more voices as we went upstairs; sounded like
some of the others were back. Good.

  Jeff hypersped us upstairs and into our apartment. Dad and Jamie were both in their beds asleep, dogs with Dad, cats and Poofs with Jamie. Couldn’t just lie down with my clothes on, though, because I was still wearing a bulletproof vest. Knew I was in dire need of sleep when Jeff undressing me didn’t make me want to instantly have sex.

  Oh, sure, I wanted to by the time I was in the standard-issue nightclothes and he was naked, but he got into his pajama bottoms and then into bed. “You need sleep,” he said as he snuggled me up against him. “You had a big day and that fight with Naomi took a lot out of you.”

  “You knew about that?”

  “Still not an emotion you have that isn’t broadcast, baby. You were so angry you were an easy read, for more than emotions. I told Chuck about it, so he knows. He said you were right, by the way.”

  “Right about what?”

  “That he doesn’t want a big wedding. He just has no idea of how to get out of what they’re being forced into.”

  Would have discussed this more but Jeff’s body was warm, his heartbeats soothing, and I was asleep before I could say another word.

  Slept like a rock and, happily, didn’t wake up in the middle of the night. Having gone to bed after midnight might have helped. Knowing Raul and Clarence were both dead probably helped more.

  The morning came bright and early with Jamie getting out of her crib by herself and jumping into bed with us. Chose to enjoy this as opposed to freak out about it, but we were clearly going to have our hands full by age two if this was what she was like at age one.

  Half of her mountain of presents were for just us, and half were for later at her party. Mom had joined us somewhere in the night—had no idea how she’d gotten in without waking everyone up, but she’d managed it—and so the five of us had breakfast and then Jeff called for his parents to come over.

  Alfred and Lucinda being with us made Jamie almost vibrate with happiness. She opened each present, showed it to each of us, and thanked the giver with huge hugs and kisses.

  This took hours, which was fine with me. But soon enough it was lunchtime and then time to get ready for the party.