Never Satisfied: Do Men Know What They Want?

by BAISDEN, MICHAEL

  “That’s not a good idea. I need you to leave with me.”

  “Come on, Robert, I’m comfortable. How long are you going to be anyway?”

  “Look here, I’m not going to go through interrogation when I’m ready to leave my own house. Now get up and put your clothes on.”

  That did it. From that point on I would see the real Kelly. She quickly slipped on her sundress and strapped on her sandals. While I ironed my shirt, she started mumbling under her breath and giving me the evil eye. I had a feeling she was about to snap!

  “I bet you let Donna’s ass stay here when you’re gone.”

  “What did you say?”

  “You heard what I said you no good bastard. I bet Donna doesn’t get kicked out after she’s been fucked.”

  “That’s it!” I shouted. “Get your crazy ass out of here before I throw you out.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m leaving. But remember what I told you in the beginning, you should’ve thought about what you were getting yourself into. You’re not going to treat me like some street whore and get away with it.”

  “Just get the hell out of here before I call security and have you thrown out!”

  She gave me the finger and slammed the door so hard one of my paintings fell off the wall. Now I’ve done it, I thought. After all these years of playing games, I’ve finally run into a real life fatal attraction. I had seen that movie three times and knew Kelly definitely had Glenn Close potential. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was scared. From that day forward, the hunter became the hunted.

  For the next three months, Kelly made my life a living hell. She would call at all hours of the night, leaving crazy messages about getting even and teaching me a lesson. She even threatened to cut off my dick off like Lorena Bobbit did her husband. Ouch! After a month of these disturbing calls, I had my number changed. But somehow she managed to get the new one. I figured she had to know someone at the phone company. Luckily my cell phone service was with Verizon. After the phone calls stopped, the stalking began.

  Every weekend she would park outside of my apartment and sit there as if she was at a drive-in movie. I was tempted to send her crazy ass a bucket of popcorn and some milk duds but I didn’t want to provoke her. The last thing I wanted to do was let her know she was getting to me. I just ignored her and went about my business as usual. That was easier said than done. When I pulled out of the underground parking, she began to tail me all over town. She followed me to the grocery store, to the gym, and to church. But she finally crossed the line when she showed up at the park one Sunday afternoon while I was visiting my daughter.

  Donna had to be told about what was going on. There was no way of knowing how far Kelly would go. But somehow, I had to come up with a convincing story to explain why this crazy woman was stalking me. Telling her the complete truth was not an option. I decided to drop the news late one Sunday evening after visiting with Tamera. As her phone rang, I took a deep breath and prepared to go into my act.

  “Hey sweetheart, how are you doing tonight?” I politely asked trying to soften her up.

  “Fine baby? What’s up? Did you forget something when you dropped off Tamera?”

  “No, I just wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind. Is Tamera still awake?”

  “No, she’s asleep. What’s with all the mystery?”

  “Ok, remember last year when that guy from your job kept calling you and sending you flowers?”

  “Yeah, what about him?”

  “Well, I have a woman who’s fixated on me.”

  “So that’s why you’ve changed your phone number twice in two weeks. I knew something was going on. How serious is it?”

  “Very serious I think. She followed me to the park today while I was with Tamera?”

  The phone all of a sudden got silent. I could hear what sounded like footsteps and then a door squeaking shut. I’m sure she went to make sure Tamera was asleep and then to her bedroom before she went off.

  “If that bitch comes near my baby, I’ll kill her! I mean it.”

  “Calm down Donna.”

  “Calm down my ass. What’s going on Robert? Are you telling me everything?”

  “Look, this woman was just a client who wanted to mix business with pleasure. When I turned her down, she became obsessive. That’s it.”

  “I’m going to trust you on this one Robert. But don’t let me find out you’re lying or it’s over between us, I’m serious! Now tell me what this crazy woman looks like so I can watch out for her.”

  I told her everything I knew about Kelly. How she looked, how she talked, and what type of car she drove. All I could do was hope this whole thing would end before the stakes got too high. I had already lost my peace of mind; I wasn’t about to lose my family. But Kelly was a very sick young woman who was bent on revenge. She felt rejected and disrespected. How does the biblical saying go, “Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned?” I was living it!

  Three weeks had passed since the incident in the park and it seemed that Kelly had finally moved on. I was hoping she was stalking some other poor soul. I decided to take Allen and Donna out to our favorite spot for drinks. I told Donna we were celebrating a successful business deal, but in actuality I was just happy to drive out of my building without seeing that damn red BMW parked across the street. Allen and I met inside the club at 10:00 p.m. We grabbed our usual table and ordered Coronas while we waited for Donna to arrive.

  “So where’s Donna?” Allen asked.

  “She had problems finding a babysitter, but she’s definitely coming.”

  “How is she handling all of this drama?”

  “So far everything has been going pretty well, especially since Kelly stopped tripin’.”

  At that moment the waitress came over with our beers. I thought it would be the ideal time to propose a toast. I lifted my bottle and stood up from my stool.

  “To Kelly, may she find another man to terrorize, or move her crazy ass back to Connecticut.”

  “Amen,” Allen toasted.

  For the next half hour we sat there sipping on drinks and checking out the beautiful women coming in. Of course, all I did was look, but Allen was foaming at the mouth. I had to remind him that Donna was very tight with one of his girlfriends. He checked himself and ordered another round. Shortly after we finished our second beer, the waitress came over with another drink on her tray.

  “Excuse me,” she said politely as she set the drink down in front of me. “This drink is from a secret admirer.”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “It’s a Bloody Mary.”

  “Where is the woman who paid for this drink?” I urgently asked.

  “Right over there,” she replied while pointing in the direction of the bar.

  When I looked over, I couldn’t see anyone who resembled Kelly. But I knew for a fact she was the one who pulled this sick joke.

  “What did she look like?” I demanded.

  “She was kinda short, with a petite build. And she had light brown eyes. Can I get you anything else sir? I have to get back to work.”

  “No, thank you,” I said.

  As the waitress walked away, I could see Donna making her way over to the table. She was looking good, too. Her hair was freshly cut, and the dress she had on was hugging every curve. For a 32-year-old woman with a child, she has a great figure. I tried to remain calm but I had a feeling something was about to go down. I wasn’t going to hang around long enough to find out if I was right. So when Donna walked up to the table, Allen and I immediately started making excuses to leave.

  You’re looking good tonight baby,” I complimented. “Let’s go get something to eat instead of sitting around here.”

  “Good idea,” Allen agreed. “I’m starving.”

  “That’s fine by me,” Donna said. “But let me have one drink before we go.”

  I quickly flagged down the waitress hoping to order the drink and get the hell out of there as fast as possi
ble. While Donna sipped slowly on her strawberry daiquiri, Allen and I practically stood guard until she finished. And just as we were about to leave, guess who shows up, Kelly. She stood directly in front of the table with a bottle in her right hand and her left arm tucked behind her back. She was clearly drunk and looking spooky as ever.

  “Hello, Robert,” she said. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”

  “I don’t think so,” I said as I positioned myself in front of Donna.

  “Well, the least you could do is thank me for the drink I sent you.”

  “Look, Kelly, I don’t have time for your bullshit.”

  “Kelly?” Donna shouted. “Are you the sick bitch that’s been following my child into the park?”

  “No, I’m the sick bitch who’s been following your man into the park. I have no interest in your nappy-head child.”

  “So what the hell do you want?” Donna shouted.

  “I want to teach your cheating ass man a lesson about toying with a woman’s emotions. He’s not going to treat me like some trick and kick me out after he fucks me.”

  “Woman, you are out of your mind,” Allen said.

  “You shut up four eyes and mind your own business!” Kelly screamed.

  That’s when she lifted the bottle over her shoulder, swung it once at Allen, and then hurled it in my direction. Everybody ducked. After the bottle smashed against the wall, I looked up to see Allen’s bloodied face. She had hit him directly in the eye. His eyeglasses cut through his skin and he was bleeding profusely. The yelling began immediately.

  “You crazy bitch!” I shouted. “Look what you did.”

  “You should be more concerned about what I’m going to do to you.”

  In one motion she swung her arm from around her back and began violently throwing what felt like large steel darts. I quickly pulled Donna down onto the floor and shielded her with my body. I felt two sharp objects pierce my backside; one hit me in the upper back and the other in my buttocks. Once she was out of ammunition, Donna jumped up and ran towards her like a mad woman. Kelly tried to run but Donna grabbed her by the hair and slung her to the floor. By this time, the music had stopped and all eyes were focused on the catfight. Even the bouncers stood by and watched.

  “I’ll kill you bitch, I’ll kill you,” Donna threatened as she ripped Kelly’s blouse off and smashed her face against the floor.

  “Let me up,” Kelly begged.

  “Not until I knock some sense in your young ass.”

  I ran over to where the fight was taking place with the two darts still inside me. I started break it up, but Donna was giving it to her good. So, I stood by like everybody else and watched. After a few more scratches on the back and punches in the face, Donna let her up and the security guards moved in. We were all escorted to the back office where the owner was waiting. Allen and I knew him personally so the police were not called. Kelly admitted to starting the whole thing and offered to pay for the damages. I chose not to press charges since Donna kicked her ass pretty good and nobody was seriously injured. Allen, on the other hand, was holding a cold towel over his right eye. He tried to grab her by the throat as she was escorted out of the club. But this wasn’t the end of it. When I got to my car, three of my four tires had been sliced and the windshield was smashed out. On the hood there was a message carved in the paint that read, “Now we’re even motherfucker.”

  Burned

  The most fatal attraction of all is not the woman with a weapon in her hand, but a disease within her body. While the cheating man swears up and down his Mistress of Jump Off is clean and healthy, she could be burning with herpes, syphilis, or even HIV and AIDS. And just as he neglected to wear a condom to prevent pregnancy, he will likely neglect to protect himself from contracting a STD. It is well known that many men who cheat become comfortable with the Other Women and foolishly stop using protection, sometimes weeks into the relationship. That’s a hell of a decision considering whose life is at stake. His own and the life of the innocent wife or girlfriend who is dumb enough to continue to trust him. This is why the cheating man must slow down, take a step back and ask himself, “Is it worth it?” This is an important question for any real man to face up to because it’s only a matter of time before the high cost of infidelity hits his wallet, his conscience, and hits home. When that happens, he will lose his most valuable asset of all, the woman who loves him. And she won’t be as easily replaced as money. Nor will her loss of respect be remedied with a shot of penicillin. Sometimes women don’t give us a second chance, and judging by how reckless and irresponsible we can be at times, she may be wise not to.

  Wake Up!

  Why do so many women get involved with men whom they suspect are cheaters? And more importantly, why do they remain in those relationships even after their suspicions have been confirmed? The answer to that question would depend on which woman you ask. Some claim it’s because of love, or the kids, while others openly admit, it’s all about the money. But these so-called reasons are nothing more than lame excuses for the timid wife or girlfriend to hide behind. In my opinion there can be only one common denominator for tolerating this kind of disrespect, and this is fear, more precisely, the woman’s fear of being alone.

  This paralyzing dread of waking up to an empty bed and growing old alone is all the leverage the cheating man will need to take full advantage of his relationship. He has predetermined there will be no consequences for his actions so he continues to take risks with his life and hers. The men I interviewed for this book are the perfect examples. They bragged about their methods of cheating with no regard for who might read it. And although names have been changed to protect the guilty, there was an air of arrogance that the games would continue in spite of what was said. As one gentleman boldly put it, “It doesn’t matter what I tell you about how I cheat. Once a woman falls in love with me, she’s not going to listen to anyone telling her anything. She won’t even listen to herself.” He is clearly depicting women as too stifled by emotion to act on any proof of infidelity, and he’s not alone. Several men promised to purchase a copy of this book to give to their wives and girlfriends as gifts. What audacity! I’m not sure whether it’s the ratio of men to women that have men so cocky or how much mess the women in their lives have put up with, but the cheating men of today are on a rampage. They are going through women like a hot knife through butter. Even the truth about how the game is played is not a threat to them. Chris Rock said it best in his stand up, “Let a playa play!”

  Open Relationships

  Earlier in the book I mentioned open relationships, which is defined as couples where both or one of the partners have intimate relationships with other partners. In fact, I have done several topics about it on my radio show. Each time, women shut down and became defensive believing it was just another male trick to justify sleeping around. It’s understandable that women would look it that way since they only see relationships from one of two perspectives. One, all men do not cheat; therefore they will hold out for that man who also possesses other qualities that make them compatible. Or two, most men will cheat at some point, and if they choose to be with that man they will weather those storms, usually with the hope that he will get tired, grow up, or whatever, which normally never happens. For some strange reason women have this idea that our desire to have sex with other women is like the chicken pox, that it will go away after puberty. Ladies, please listen loud and clear. It’s not a disease; it’s in our genes. Just accept it and let’s move on for God’s sake!

  I personally don’t believe every man cheats, but I do believe the majority will at some point in their relationship, and so will most women. If we can agree with that assessment, then we can move forward and stop approaching relationships the same way over and over again expecting a different result. We all know the definition of insanity, right? Let’s face it, most relationships are open anyway. People either don’t know it, or they are in denial. And if women are going to tolerate their man being invo
lved with other women, then they should reserve the same option to see other men, if they choose to. Every statistic about infidelity shows that over 70% of men have cheated once and over 50% of women have stepped out. Why are we afraid to tackle an issue that’s staring us right in the face?

  Besides, not having the open relationship talk is to the man’s advantage and the woman’s disadvantage. Why, because men know that if a woman is into him sexually and emotionally, she most likely won’t desire sex with other men, but women who are honest with themselves know that most men will exercise that option whether the woman agrees to it or not. It’s not until men are faced with the possibility that their woman will be sexing other men that the reality of what they are asking the woman to put up with becomes real. As a married woman in New York put it, “It’s called, put the shoe on the other foot! Or what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!”